- you think 208 HP is a lot of horsepower even though your moms accord has 50 more

- you're proud of the fact that you can fit 295mm rear tires, but in reality you can't even break loose the stock 225's without blowing up your transmission (N/A)

- to paint your valve cover, you have to take off your timing belt (N/A, Turbo)

- you have to explain how to properly jack up your car without damaging it to the guys at the tire shop (this happened to me)

- you take your car to Mr. Lube, and overhear one of the "techs" wisper "I don't even know what kind of car this is" (this happened to me)

- you have to take in the oil AND the filter to the oil change place

- you park your freshly washed car on a main street and when you come back there are people standing around it talking about it (this happened to me yesterday)

- you know that the volkswagen guys are sooo jealous of your D-90's, and you half-expect them to follow you home, steal your wheels, polish them up, put on some 195mm wide tires, and throw them on a Mark III GTI.

- someone asks you if it has a V6 or V8, and you tell them it has a inline 4 but start to go into detail of the engine size, and the fact that it has the same displacement as most V6's (S2)

 

Your main bathroom reading is Excellence or GT Porsche.

You wake up in the morning with the Haynes Manual over your face.

You lose a stoplight race to the parts falling off your car.

You've been punched in the face by uptight mothers when pronouncing the type of wheels on your car to a friend (Fuchs).

You have no problem approaching a complete stranger in a dark parking lot if said stranger is driving a 944.

A good day is dipstick that shows "FULL".

 

HAHAHAHAHA so true, I allmost pissed my pants reading this thread

 

You spend $250 on a NA chip just to get 1-2 more hp.

You have a $100 air compressor that you keep just because its cool.

 

-- you think to yourself hey I finally got that hot sporty Porsche 944 in my garage and then realize its 22 years old.
-- you kid yourself thinking, hey I've really got a Porsche now not some 914 VW car, then you use the door handle and realize hey that feels like a VW rabbit handle, dam! crappy door handles again.
-- you avoid those rice cars because you know they may blow the doors off your vintage exotic sports car.

 

people won't believe you when you tell them that the car is actually slow and they still want to race you.

 

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo true!

 

Ok - my list (as in I've experienced all this):

You might be a 944 owner if...
...you can drive a 20 year old car to a racetrack that's 8 hours away, spend 3 days flogging it around said track, drive it back home for 8 hours, and the car doesn't skip a beat, and just wants more of that track driving stuff...
...while on said track, you admire all those pretty 911's..... that you keep passing...
...you think spending $2000 on preventative maintenance is considered a good investment.
...your mechanic is on speed dial
...your mechanic replaces the ball joint you just snapped on the track between sessions.
...your mechanic starts ripping apart your fusebox so he can figure out what's wrong with the wiring in his 944.
...your mechanic rides along with you on the track to figure out why your oil pressure guage is acting funny.
...your wife's new kitchen project gets delays once again (for the past 5 years) due to an unexpected upgrade or maintenance item.
...your garage has 10 'spare' wheels shod with various track rubber.
...the remainined free space in your garage is occupied by:
- Broken parts off your car (cracked head, busted A-arms, old shocks)
- Stuff slated to be upgraded in your car
- Stuff that was removed from your car due to upgrades (stock seats, suspension stuff, steering wheel, rear seat...etc)



That's all for now...
-Z-man.

 

You might be a 944 owner if:
-You keep telling yourself that you've fixed everything that could possibly go wrong and that your car is basically like a new one!
-You know the names of your relays and can name them off.
-You've ever changed an oil pan gasket and took more than 20 hours to do it.
-You annually spend more on repairs than miles you drive.

 

You do a clutch job on a civic and you can't believe how easy it is.

Even though your 99.9% sure that smell is the trucks exhaust in front of you, you still pull into the gas station to check everything.

 

New 951 owner here. Man...you guys are scaring me. ;-) This sounds soooo much like my saltwater boat.

I will say the stack of receipts that came with the car exceeds all the receipts of my other 3 cars put together. The boat prolly has it beat, but thankfully not many hard mechanicals pruchased. Thank God for diesel.

 

- You pay close attention to the engine temperature in traffic, and listen for the fan when (if) it clicks on...

- You have nightmares about small pieces of plastic breaking.

- You have an ornamental (non) power antenna

- You know the flatbed tow-truck guy by his first name (and his kids names, and..)

- Every other day you think about removing the interior of your car for good...

 

You are pleased when the dyno shows 125 RWHP and 124 RWTq.

(for a 22 year old car with 215,000+ miles, it's close to factory specs)

 

And if they do (even though you won't admit to it on Rennlist) obviously they've won, and then give you a hard time because said car is slow.

 

Why would you do this? Any joke that starts with "You might" is doomed from the beginning. Please don't contribute to this braindead nonsense anymore. Furthermore, Jeff Foxworthy is not funny, has never been funny and will never be funny.