MJHanna

My first student with me as an instructor did all the things wrong that we practiced correcting during instructor clinic, he was all over the track, slow, jammed the brakes, panicked when another car came up from behind, forgot every turn, each turn was a new experience…. I though that I was being set up with a shill as a “green instructor.” I keep waiting for him to snap out of the role….. It finally dawned on me there was no role playing going on he just sucked.

George A

I didn't know Dave was your first student!!!!

G.

Veloce Raptor

George, I looked at myself in the mirror. It was epic!

MJHanna

It was a BMW drover

Veloce Raptor

Hey now. Pipe down over there.

Did you figure a way for me to ride with you in your car yet?

MJHanna

Yeap I put the passenger seat on rails.... it goes back to the cage now.

JayP

I had a kid doing the same. I thought that was how he -had- to drive the car since it was older than me. I droved it a few laps and discovered it was the kid. We spent all Saturday unlearning bad street habits.

I wondered who taught the kid to drive... then the old car puked up coolant and thru shuffling of drivers, I ended up instructing the kid's dad. The answer presented itself.

One of the best students I had was running in red a few DEs ago. That was cool to see.

Sean F

I witnessed this from behind the car, not in the car. Warm up lap of an older woman's first DE in her brand new M3. She had been pretty nervous in the rookie meeting. Get through two turns in the warm up lap and I see her take both of her hands off the wheel and cover her face. She's freaking out. Instructor leans over and grabs the wheel. She's still on the gas of course. They complete the lap with her on the gas while covering her eyes and he's steering. She went straight into the pits and on her way home. Couldn't believe my eyes. Wish I had the video camera going.

Larry Herman

As it should be. Being afraid is no crime. Anyone who faces fear by covering their eyes should never venture out of the house, let alone on a racetrack.

Professor Helmüt Tester

Time: somewhere back in the early 90's
Place: Watkins Glen, pre-Bus Stop & pre-gravel trap. Lots of stuff to hit.
Event: Ferrari Club

The Setup: I'd dealt the guy in FrankenFerrari before (a 308 track car dressed up as a 288 GTO...but dressed in the dark, by a blind man with no taste...body-kit, t-tops off, big ugly horsey stickers etc.), and knew that he had his own ideas about 'the line' and 'where his car handled best'. True idiot, unwilling to listen to anyone. Yeesh...gimme a handgun...I don't want this head-case again. I pawn him off on Mad Mike, who is known for his somewhat unforgiving attitude when confronted with idiocy. I brief Mikey...he assures me that he can 'cure' this. Har. I'm gonna enjoy watching this. Sell tickets, find a comfortable chair.

The Payoff: In the first session, I'm standing on the west side of the garage (the side facing T11), and I note FrankenFerrari exiting T10...and I can HEAR Mikey SCREAMING at the guy (hint: that's a long way away to hear somebody yelling from inside a helmet, over the noise of race cars). I smile. On his return to the paddock, Mike says "W.A.F.I., I gotta unload this guy...".

Some people should just stick to bowling or gardening.

Cory M

I had a student that was just learning how to drive stick. We went around the entire track in 2nd gear....

Bonster

And I think we have a winner! Sean's story about the freaked-out female Bimmer driver takes the cake! That's a fantastic story. And yes, Larry, folks like that should stay home and watch Oprah or something.

Paul 996

One from a month ago.

Green student. 1st time doing any kind of perf driving. Never figured out what turn was coming next... straight away, 90 sharp turn, etc. When I asked him to give a point by he would 1st lift off the gas abruptly before sticking his hand out, once even slamming on the brakes. This after constant reinforcement to not lift and only ease off the gas after giving the passing signal. Well the lightbulb finally went off as we head onto the straight away and he repeats it once more and all I can hear is tires squealing from behind us. Luckily nothing happened and we immediately entered the pits for a lengthy talk. I may have overstepped my bounds but told him point blank, you do that again and you go home. He listened
after that.

Later the same day on a lap where I was just watching him (and the mirrors). I watch a faster car gaining on him and sticking through all the turns as we proceed onto one of the straights my genius drifts off line in front of the faster car who moved out clearly hoping for a pass. Faster car moves back online and my genius does the same.. the whole time driving with his rear view mirror. I watch through the next set of turns as the faster car hangs behind us and my student is now driving way over his head trying to stay in front/pull away from the other car... next straight, another repeat... Half way through I ask him what does he think he is doing? Let the car behind you pass.... Ready for this... My genius says... "I don't want to be the pu@#y that lets 15 cars pass him every session". I remind him this isn't the DC Beltway and let's go park and talk again.

Lucked out the next day and my student shows up late and tells me he had a "really rough night". Doesn't drive that day and just ends up going home.

TD in DC

Potomac Region's Most Improved Student Award for 2005 + I still suck = I am the worst student evah

Jarez Mifkin

I had a student one time in a, you guess it, Corvette. She was a kindergarten teacher and had always wanted to drive her car fast. On the third lap she had ever driven at speed I noticed she was messing with something on the dash, turns out she was setting the stop watch in her car so she could see her lap times. I told her not to mess with that and worry about not spinning the car like she almost did the lap earlier.

Crazy Vette drivers...