tifosiman

Man, I've seen this series of photos floating all over the internet. Rock, was this you?!?!

theedge

Snow is a blast. Last winter (or two years aog?), my buddy Jon and I found this cul-de-sac that only had a few half built houses on it, so it was deserted. There was at least a foot of snow, fresh pristine powder. We were in his dads Suzuki Sprint. This of course goes to an obvious conlcusion. For the next hour at least, we were doing various stupid **** in this empty cul se sac. Wed go flying down the road hitting 60 or 70MPH and then id pull the parking brake lever as hard as I could and hed spin the wheel to the right and wed slide sideways into huge fluffly snowbanks. We took the poor little car off road, snow up past the tops of the wheel wells, plowing through leaving huge paths. Endless donuts. We eventually got my dads Sentra and did the same thing. We almost got totally stuck many timesbut never did

Only bad thing that happened was during a quick snow ball fight. I unknowingly lost my cell phone in the snow. The next morning I go to leave for work, and realize my lack of cell phone. After searching all over the house, I clue in... Going back to the area I found it. It had iced over on the screen and keypad and was barely alive. Changing menus took 10 seconds, the screen was so cold. Aimed the heater vents at it, worked fine for months till I dropped it on its antenna and had to retire it.

Mighty Shilling

Wade B

Went to an office Christmas party with my brother. Planned, of course to get thoroughly hammered, so drinking and driving was an issue, but he lived within "staggering distance" of the party and, since it was only an unfamiliar road (to me) and an unlit S-turn or two away, famous last words, "we'll be alright..........." so we hoped in my AMC Javelin (one of three that I have owned, loved this one in particular) and off we rode, about 1-2 minutes of a ride.......

Dynamite party, by the way, lots of fun, poker winnings, laughs and jokes.....in a stroke of idiocy, trying to be the "life of the party", I opened up a new fifth of Bacardi Rum and, instead of twisting the cap off to break the seal that goes across it, I peeled the seal off and stuck it to my forehead and festively wore it around for the rest of the night. Got lots of comments about that, not all festive. Party winding down, about 0230, it had been lightly raining, hopped back in the Javelin, started laughing hysterically about something at the party, veered off the road in the previously mentioned unlit S-turn, and got the car stuck in a field. "Damn, only a minute away, too!!!" I was a little nervous that I couldn't get it out of the ruts, because of all the torque it had, but managed to do it, easier than I thought. Then, in another stroke of idiocy (that is the theme of this thread? lol) I looked over at my brother and said, "Damn, that was fun, let's do it again!!!" YEEEE HAHHHHH!!!!!" and gassed the car and proceeded to get it stuck again! Only better this time, she wouldn't come out. And while I was trying the cops arrive to investigate, and then it really gets good..........

Well, I graduated from high school with the cop's brother, and he knew my brother and me well, so SOME luck was with me.
Big flashlight in my face.
"Nice mess you've made here, Wade. You been drinking?"
"Yeah, a little bit at ________"s party back down the road. Don't really know this road, though, so I ...."
"Well, that's obvious. Gonna' have to give you the old field sobriety test. Get out."
While he's making me dance and touch whatever with whatever, he calls some of his fellow officers on the radio to come and check me out. Has a conference with them afterwards, really making me sweat. Sends one of the other ones (with more stripes on his arm) over to me........."well, because of the circumstances and we know how close you are away here, we're just gonna' take you home, make you pay for the damages to the owner's property here, and issue you a warning for reckless op. You're a lucky bastard tonite, Merry Christmas." I could see my buddy the cop behind him the whole time. Looked like he was trying to suppress a laugh.......

It's hell doing the roadside dance while you have to pee so bad, so as soon as we got home, I rushed to the bathroom............and saw in the mirror that the whole time I had been doing the dance, the Bacardi seal was still stuck to my forehead. It explained why all the cops and even my brother had been smirking the whole time. When I next saw the cop he told me that, yeah, he had to call for "back up" to see all that and that the story is now legendary among his peers. Don't know if it is "Rock-esque", but it is definitely "idiocy".

theedge

Cant be him.....











Theres no oil slick under it

pete944

Great story Wade!!

What year Javelin? I had a 1970 Jav with a 304V8 & 3 speed manual. I loved that car!

MichelleJD

OMG WAde, that's hilarious! You've got MY vote!

KuHL 951

When I was 24 I was just finishing a up a 4-wheel brake job on my wifes 61 VW Bug.
My not so bright decision #1: I was almost through and about to torque down the last wheel when a neighbor came home from work and we fired up a fat one. We had to be over at the in-laws for dinner so I finished up , got ready, and we hit the road. At 65mph in the fast lane of rush hour traffic I feel a slight vibration, hear 5 sequential plinking sounds and watched my left front wheel bounce over the front of my car and bound at a 45 deg, angle across 4 lanes of freeway traffic. In the meantime I'm learning quickly that yes, you can steer a car with a flaming brake drum. I made it all the way to the right lane after many near misses, raised fingers, and the inevitable So. Cal "What's your problem look" from everyone. We lived to tell the story.

My not so bright decision #2: Being young, stupid, after surviving 2 years as a draftee in the Army Infantry, and HS class record holder in the 50 yard dash, I went on my mission. I recovered every lug bolt in 5 well-timed sprint/scoop forays across every lane of traffic...like a scene out of Frogger. We eventually found the tire wedged 8 feet off the ground in a tree, I mean who would have thought to look up? We were only 20 minutes late for dinner.

It's been many many years since that day; have I learned my lesson? Look for my new book capturing the thrills and spills of my countless home improvement projects titled "Blood on the Hammer"

Steve

Yabo

Ahh, I don't really want to do this but I will!

Lets see, heres my first one, With the Range Rover....

had about a foot or two of packed snow a couple years back, it had been around for like a month so it was pretty crusty, told my mom I was going to go to the management area for a while to go offroading. She said she didn't want me to, but i said I would only go up to this persons house that is a mile or so back (the only house back there). Of course I ddin't i went passed there house where it wasn't plowed anymore, and it was all snowmobile packed on the road which was about 1.5 truck widths wide, (well that and snow ski tracks) so it was basically a foot or two of snow below me but it was packed enough that I did not sink in at all, but if I were to venture off the side of the trail it would suck me off the road and probably get me stuck very easily. (btw this was still with my michellin all terrain tires taht come stock on it). So, of course I put it in differential lock, go about 35 sliding all over the place down these trails.. I was scared as **** that some snowmobiler would come around a corner, but these are stupid stories right? So I come around this turn to the right, slide off the side, my front left tire hits the soft stuff, pulls the truck off the path. It was a ditch off to the side towards the trees, so i'm sliding down the ditch, and i see about 20 ft. in front of me, is a boulder about 5ft high, and the pointed edge was facing me... Now at this time I really had no money, and this was still not completley my car, so my (good ones luckily) instincts came in that I had no chance to stop and my only chance, was to full lock right and floor it. Just as I get to the boulder something grabbed something and it hopped back up onto the trail.

My girlfirend gave me a look that I'm sure you all can picture, and I turned around and went home.

Rock

Tifo... WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT!?!?! I THOUGHT I BURNT THAT PICTURE.

This thread cracks me up lol

RMills944

One of my friends had that problem with his girlfriend. WHen he got pissed he'd drive like that and tore 6 sets of spider gears and broke 2 lockers in his 98 Jeep Wrangler before he sold it.

gratian

I put one finger on one transaxle coupler...with engine running at idle, so I was on emergency after 10 minutes with blood on my arm....
I start this year with an accident (on 3 january), when i hit a wall with 40 km/h...

Jakerx

OUCH!

and btw tifo *cough* bs *cough* photoshop *cough*

Sasquatch

Speaking of "lawn jobs"....

My house was the target of repeated lawn jobs two summers ago. I have a corner lot that is my dream home. To say I was pissed was an understatement. I was reasonably sure it was the kids accross the street and one house down. I would get hit about one night a week for 3 weeks straight. The cops were no help. So, in Italian fasion, I solved it myself.

Just inside the grass from the side walk on both entry and exit routes I pounded in pieces of rebar with the tops angle cut. I put them at about 6" centers/staggered. They protruded the ground about 3", but was just under grass height.

Three nights later I heard a rather loud screech and resulting crash. The sight that fell before my eyes going to the front door could not have been paid for. There sat my front yard, with huge ruts accross it, and the beat up ford tempo of the neighbors kids stuffed into the side of his mothers year old mini van parked on the street.

I know I had opened myself up to some frivoulous lawsuit, but I was pissed. The result was this:

Kids had to cut up the sod in my yard, smooth it all out, and replace the sod. They had to remove all of the rebar punjii sticks. Their mom took away their car, permanantly untill they move outof the house at 18 or so.

Through their reconstruction of my yard I spent considerable time talking with them about responsibilty and respecting other peoples property. It all ended well and all relationships have mended. Pretty good kids now. They at least learned not to mess with the Italian accross the street.

Mighty Shilling

Sasquatch, THAT IS F*CKING AWESOME!