Team SSR

I had an '81 Trans Am when I enlisted in the Marine Corps in '88. My recruiter always picked on me for sliding into parking spaces (literally) and squealing tires, etc... Anyway, after boot camp I go to tech school for 14 mths. I had time to buy an '83 Mustang GLX and put some go fast parts on it. I go back to visit the recruiter and ask if he wants to go for a ride. So we're going down this back road that I've never been on at about 90 (speedo only read to 85 mph). Recruiter says "You need to back it down there's a hill ahead" I'm thinking, "why would I slow down for a hill?" He repeats somewhat more earnestly, "You need to back it down!" Well, I don't lift and before you know it we get to the "hill" and it was like the earth dropped off below us. We go airborne long enough for me to look over at him and give him that "you weren't kidding look." We landed, the tires squealed and the car crunches the road... but no damage, no injuries.

Mighty Shilling

Catching air in a car is a lot of fun.... especially when it's not yours

but John D should post some of his moments on here...

Yabo

Was that an old range rover or a newer one?

Danno

Took a long drive up north.
Fell asleep at the wheel..
Woke up to see myself drifting right towards rear-end of truck in the next lane...
Swerved left to avoid it and headed into the grass center...
Swerved right to get back on freeway...
Got sideways as front tyres got on pavement (rear still on grass)...
Rolled three times.... in slow-motion apparently...
Came to stop upside-down in my lane, sideways...
Good thing I bought the extra insurance on the rental car...

Mighty Shilling

In a Rental Danno? DAMN! they DO get abused... Rolling contests sound more fun than airtime contests....

Swagger93

I have a couple good stories.

First:

Thought it would be funny to spin a car out on a local highway to see how many people would stop. Every time a car came from the top of the hill we'd pull out, floor it, and yank the e-brake at 60 or so to slide (these are like 720's we were doing) the 1989 honda accord into my friend's farm field. 15 or so times. Noone stopped, until finally some guy in a grand prix saw us and got pissed off. He chased the honda for about 20 miles until we finally lost his beastly car on a curvy road.

Second:

My friend would take that same accord and drive it around a yard along with my friend in his 1985 GMC Jimmy...in a demolition derby. This went on for weeks, until the Accord was barely recognizable as a car anymore.

Third:

Rallly race. My 1988 Saab 9000 Turbo that i purchased as a parts car...well, i got it running because I love doing things like that. 246,000 miles, busted windshield, burnning a quart every 30 miles. So here's the deal--
On a rainy night I decide to go for a drive in my uninsured, unlicensed, have-no-title for it 9000. I'm crusing around with my friend and we decide it would be a good idea to take it up to mcdonalds to get a shake. This turns into a much wilder adventure when i remember the huge hill with a field that leads to the freeway just up from mcdonalds. I thought, "I wonder if I can make it all the way up to the Mcdonalds feeway sign?" Well, being 17 years old means I wasn't about to be deterred, so after a 70 mile an hour jaunt through the desolate parking lot at 11 pm we hit the field and head towards the sign about 200 yards up the hilly tall-grass field. I manage to still be doing about 25 by the time I HIT the sign. Wow, what a shake it gave that 45 foot freeway sign. Anyways, i then decide to come down from this precarious position, and that an appropriate speed for this would be about 50 mph. Upon getting the the pavement the car was ejected into a 10-foot full-airborne launch down onto the pavement, which caused the car to completely bottom out. Then disaster strikes; we see a police cruiser. I stop right away, get out and open the hood to pretend like I have a problem, and to cover the busted windshield (To my surprise the only problem was that the coolant line to the turbo was plugged and the turbo was WHITE hot). The cop comes up and nonchanlantly asked if there was a mechanical problem with my car, to which I answered shakily "no officer, just running a bit hot." The cop laughed and replied "well, i suppose thats what happens to older cars...have a nice night and we'll be around if you need help." Wow. Luck.

Yabo

Here's my best one yet to date, already mentioned it somewhere but here's the whole story.
It's late this august, getting close to when I have to leave for school, just saved the whole summer (had 19 dollars to my name in june) and had JUST reached my goal of saving 2000 for college.
I'm in the house, was planning to go out with my GF at 4:00pm. My mom's friend who visits her once every few months is over chatting with her. At about 3:55 literally once I was all cleaned up, my mom wanted me to go check her oil in her Tacoma.
I was like, can it wait 'till tomorrow? She's like NO IT HAS TO BE NOW I CAN TELL IT NEEDS OIL! (when she really has no idea bout antyhing on cars and no reason to say that). So being 18 and frustrated at my mom, I'm like "fine whatever ill check your stupid oil." and stamp out and rush over witha paper towel to check the oil. Her truck is parked across the street in the spot my range rover is here...


Anyway, I check the oil, of course it is easily at least near the full level, as you can see that spot is not perfectly flat. My dad yells from the garage, "CHECK THAT ON THE ROAD, YOU CANT CHECK IT WHERE IT'S NOT FLAT!" Being frustrated because I was supposed to have left already and don't want to be dealing with this, I am like its fine, so he yells again saying don't be stupid and to do it (remember those words for later).

So, i jump in her truck, take teh key from under the rug, start it up. The hood was still up, but all i had to do was turn right 90 degrees to teh side of teh road where its flat, and my road is a private roadto a campground, and it was a weekday, so there really is never traffic. Anyway, I figured it would be fine to just leave the hood up, so I do. I pull out literally at 3-5mph foot on the break, just going at idle speed, looking both ways back and forth and back and forth as im going to make sure noone is coming, being careful right? So because i'm looking both ways so much, I don't pull out really sharp, also because I wanted to make sure i'd clear the car int he spot to my right. This is where the disaster happened.

In this picture, you see to the right of my car, there is grass just before my garage across from the spot where I was in. ( you can see my moms tacoma in the picture, directly across the road from that. )

Obviously, with all the parking there, noone parks there, ever, especially since it's right on the bend there and its a slightly dangerous turn.
But of course, my mom's friend happened to park her late 80's POS Corolla SRT-5 there (white with sunroof sealant all over her roof and paint flaking off, low pressure tires, the typical beater).
So right in front of my dad and brother who were working on my brothers bicycle right at the garage there, I roll the tacoma at about 3-5mph right into the rear fender just behind the driver door of the corolla!!! so i swore, backed up, and pulled it to where I was going to check the oil and get out.
Despite my low speed, the weight of the tacoma i guess was enough for momentum to put a good 2-3ft wide dent and scrap in here rear fender. As i get out of the tacoma, the door creaks, and pops on the fender that I guess got pushed backwards a centimeter or so. So i'm obviously upset, i'm thinking, there goes my whole summer of working my *** off and saving.
The tacoma had only a tennis ball sized ding in the front bumper and the fender just needed a millimeter flare near the door to work right (which in other words, didnt need antyhign fixed becuase my mom has hit so many things with the bumper, the dent was the least of the bumpers problems). Luckily her door opened alright, but her car was pushed a foot or two farther onto the grass, hehe.

So my dad says "that was real f#cking stupid" (he doesn't generally swear), to make me feel so much better. :/
Now its time to go inside and try to explain to my moms friend I just smashed into her car while checking the oil.... haha. That sucked. But i felt okay figuring, at least I did this when I had money to pay for it. I told her that whatever it costs ill fix it and im really sorry and everything....

She took it to a few places a few weeks later, I don't know if it was because she's a woman and they were taking advantage of her, but the two places she went said a grand to fix the dent... It really is basically a pull bondo and touch up paint job... her cars worth about 500 bucks. She was supposed to call back when she checked with her mechanic to see if it was worth fixing..... She never called, and I am sure as hell not going to call her...... So far no call! mightve gotten away with that one... but I can't make fun of my mom for driving into things all the time anymore.

Jakerx

wow. a lot more detail then when you told me yourself over the summer. damn that sucks. but hey at least you're in the clear for now. :-p

Yabo

Would you have enjoyed telling everyone that story then?

It's well into the being able to laugh at it stage now.

ODUporschegurl

so the family is on the way to cape cod, mass for vacation. we flew to rhode island and rented a car to drive the rest of the way. reserve big car, only to arrive to all mitsubishsi galants. they sold out or the big cars i suppose. so we get in(cramped) and that car drove worse than any other car ive ever been in(with only a couple hundred miles on it-total). we leave the rental company to get on the freeway. dad had already began to rag out the rental when we passed the exit(goign way too fast to notice right away). so quick thinker, dad(w/no heads up) pulls a PERFECT 180 right there on the road. it was amazing. like soemthign youd see in a movie. mom was screaming, while me and my brother were holding on. but he pulled it soo nicely that we really just turned around to get to the exit. needless to say mom yelled about how we almost died the entire ride. and that car drove even worse after we returned it. props to dad on that move he musta practiced back in his younger days

UDPride

My folks bought my sister a lago blue 1983 VW Rabbit Diesel LS her sophomore year of college. She had never driven a stick and had to learn in a day and a half. This was about 15yrs ago. She finally got the hang of it and had to drive back to school that Sunday to BGSU which is about 150 miles from Dayton.

Unfortunately she called stranded on the highway about 75 miles from home saying the car just died. My folks were mad because they just bought the car for like $1500 from a friend and it drove fine before that though it was kind of a pile just because its a frickin VW. Knowing my sister as we all do though, my dad took a gas can with him just in case. A couple hours later he finds her stranded on the side of the highway.

Turns out she wrongly identified the clock as the gas gauge. The clock was in the same cluster as the gas gauge only underneath it. Sort of like the MPG needle of a Bimmer under the Tach. Even worse, the clock was broken. Dad filled her up and she was on her way back to school. She never did that again.

One more.

My mom and same sister were eating at Friendlys. They parked near a flatbed pickup truck that had a big piece of 2x4 type lumber hanging out the side of the bed. When they got done eating and backed the car out, they had the back window down on the car and in reversing out of the parking spot and turning, they got the guys 2x4 wedged into the rolled down back window of the car. They couldnt go fore or aft or it would tear the cars interior up or ruin the guys truck and piece of wood. Dude ended up having to cut the 2x4 in half before they could leave the parking lot.

944Fest (aka Dan P)

OY, where to start. Back in the early days, I didn't know squat about maintanence. My 74 Grand Torino Elita had a hung caliper that wore the brake rotor away to the point that it was just cooling fins on one side.. (picture a turbo impeller as a rotor!!)..and decided it was time to add new "pads". As I pulled it into Dad's garage, the brakes were kinda "soft" and I plowed in to my brothers big new craftsman toolbox. It hit on the side, and pinched all the drawers shut. As you can imagine, he was ticked.
I remember having a Grand Am rental for a week or two, it was fun in the rain to yank the E-brake and continue driving down the road with the rear end locked. The look on the guys face who came up to my drivers window at a stoplight to tell me my "rear tires weren't turning" was priceless.
I've had tires come off, including a whole rear axle in an Audi 100LS due to rust. That was an interesting ride!! You just don't see as many beaters nowadys. It must be the galvinizing.
"It's a small world" contenderriving with my temporary permit, on the day before my drivers test, (1980) a station wagon slid in the snow thru a turn and nailed my Mom's Datsun 510 hatchback in the driver's door. We filled out paperwork, fixed it and life went on. 4 years later I'm driving my 74 Barracuda with brake issues and I clip the back of a brown Pinto who slowed quickly for a right turn. Sitting in the back of the cop car filling out the forms, the driver and I are trying to figure out where we know each other from. Then it clicks.. He is the same guy who slid in to me 4 years earlier, less than a half mile away. The only 2 accidents in my life and they were with the SAME GUY!! AND..the same cop resonds to the incident. FWIW, this is in a town of about 50,000 people!!!
My worst Porsche incident. My first track experience, driving dad's 88 944 Turbo S, Nelson's Ledges. Having a blast, I hit the back straight and notice a lot of white smoke behind me. (steam). I coast the 1/2 a lap back to the pits, roll in and shut it off. 1 hr later, we find the head gasket is toast, the head warped a tad. A small coolant line had popped, and then the car over heated. Had I shut it off as soon as I saw the smoke, we could have driven it home with a $4 hose patch. Since I let it idle for 2 minutes, it turned in to a $1400 problem. I learned my lesson and tell any 944 guys, any serious sign of smoke, especially on track, shut it off ASAP!!

That 74 barracuda ended up upside-down in a corn field in 85 or so, I learned the hard way those old mopars just don't corner in the wet! For those with pics of the old cars, scan them and print them 8x10, and post on the garage wall. I've got a bunch up in my garage, it is a great way to remember your roots! ...lets see if I can find some to post.. hmmm..

Danno

"The only 2 accidents in my life and they were with the SAME GUY!! AND..the same cop resonds to the incident. FWIW, this is in a town of about 50,000 people!!!"

This reminds me of the time I was using my Honda motorcycle full-time because I was a starving student and couldn't afford gas on the Supra (45-50mpg vs. 25mpg). I had let my registration expire on both and was waiting for my next financial-aid check to pay for it on the Honda. So I'm rushing southbound on 101 to work after class, speeding and weaving through traffic when all of a sudden I see those all-too-familiar flashing red and blue lights in my mirror. So I give my sob story to the cop and he lets me go with just a warning!!!

About two weeks later, I'm rushing from work in downtown S.B. back to UCSB for class and I immediately get pulled over. The cop hops out of the cruiser as I get off the bike. I remove my helmet and look back at him; it was the SAME cop that pulled me over two weeks earlier! He stops in his tracks when he recognizes me and waves me off!

At this point, I'm pushing my luck. Another 3 weeks goes by and I get pulled over again going to work. This was an older cop, looks kinda stern, by-the-book kinda guy. He calls in my license and comes back to me asking if I know about the arrest warrant that's out for my head. I said, "Shoot, must've been for that last ticket I didn't take care of..". So here I am busted with expired registration for the 3rd time and I've got an arrest warrant, I'm going to JAIL! Anyway, the cop tells me to park and lock the Honda on teh side of the freeway and he was gonna drive me to the sherriff's station to pay my bail. Pats me down for weapons, cuffs me and put me in the back seat. I pay my bail of $595 with a check and he drives me back to where I parked my Honda and he LETS ME GO!!

I cleaned up my act right after that, figuring I had some bad cop karma headed my way soon...

UDPride

About three years ago two Sherriffs cars pulled up to our house about 130am and knocked on the door. My first thought was my sister just shot her husband. But no. They were there to take my dad to jail. Arrest warrant for unpaid traffic ticket. They cuffed him and threw him in the cruiser and took him downtown for booking. Hes like 55yrs old. Neighbors are wondering if we're running a drug trafficking ring or something. I only wish my dad had been shirtless so his potbelly wouldhave shown so he could act like a derelict on Cops. He makes me get my *** to follow them in the cruiser so I can bail him out downtown. He tries telling the cops he paid the ticket. They said no, its unpaid. He DID pay it. More on that in a minute.

Only cool thing was highway was empty at 2am so we were doing 80mph the whole way. So I get down to the county jailhouse and sit there for 5 freakin hours. OK, Ive never been to a jailhouse before I dont know what in the hell the protocol is. I assume the cops will come out and tell me what the scoop is and what I need to do to release him. But NOOOOO. After five hours of sitting around I ask when the hell hes going be released. The guy says "have you paid bail?" I said, NO. NOBODY TOLD ME TO. So I then pay the bail and he says "Well it takes 2hrs to clear the suspect once bail is paid." So Im there ANOTHER 2hrs.

Yeah my dad is pissed because hes down at the jailhouse with whinos and wifebeaters and all that ****. And Im down there in the waiting room with whinos and wifebeaters and all that ****. So about 8-9am we finally get his *** out of there and get home.

Hes still pissed they hauled his *** down there at 130am. That Monday he calls the courthouse and rips them a new one, telling them what happened. They said the fine wasnt paid. He said yes. Turned out he paid it with a COMPANY CHECK. On the speeding ticket it explicitly says NO PERSONAL CHECKS. So he specifically paid it with a COMPANY CHECK. Well these assamaniacs failed to realize a company check is NOT a personal check and did not apply the money to the fine. The fine went unpaid, became outstanding, and after a while, a warrant for his arrest was issued. He told the head honcho judge this on Monday and said if those enforcing the laws cant even follow their own directions then quit handing out speeding tickets.

So the old man demanded a written apology from the head honcho sherrif of montgomery county as well as the presiding judge admitting their own screw up and inconvenience in his life otherwise he was going to call up the local TV station. He got the letter before the end of the week.

So anytime my old man gets on my *** about something, I always tell him "yeah well at least Ive never had to have my sorry *** bailed outta jail."

944Fest (aka Dan P)

PRIME!!!