Wife drinks coffee in the car
01-20-2008, 01:34 PM
#61
Race Car
I agree with your concern about the safety issue of driving with a big cup of coffee. But, not trying to me mean to you here but I think you've got bigger problems to deal with than spilled coffee. Perhaps you already realized that when you posted. The attitude that someone can dictate to another adult their behaviour based on a marital relationship, financial provision or "gift" of transportation is at least a generation out of date.
01-20-2008, 01:54 PM
#62
8th Gear
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I tend to agree with most others...no way to impose rules on a wife and no good can come off that! Sorry
. Her biggest mistake is drinking Starbucks instead of real coffee like Caribou!!!
. Her biggest mistake is drinking Starbucks instead of real coffee like Caribou!!!
01-20-2008, 02:03 PM
#63
Burning Brakes
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The bigger picture
Things like these annoy me, too: people eating, drinking or sneezing in my car, or playing around with the interior, or starting to peel off my window tint. And I have a hard time remaining cool.
However, I do remain cool, because: When one of these little things happens, it also reminds me in what an amazing situation I am, considering that 99 percent of my life is going my way, and only this 1 percent of little things just doesn't work how I would like for it to work.
The vast majority of people don't even have 50 percent of their lives going their way. Many probably not even 10 percent.
So when these little things annoy me, I appreciate it, because it means that all the big things are in order.
However, I do remain cool, because: When one of these little things happens, it also reminds me in what an amazing situation I am, considering that 99 percent of my life is going my way, and only this 1 percent of little things just doesn't work how I would like for it to work.
The vast majority of people don't even have 50 percent of their lives going their way. Many probably not even 10 percent.
So when these little things annoy me, I appreciate it, because it means that all the big things are in order.
01-20-2008, 02:09 PM
#64
Three Wheelin'
I agree with your concern about the safety issue of driving with a big cup of coffee. But, not trying to me mean to you here but I think you've got bigger problems to deal with than spilled coffee. Perhaps you already realized that when you posted. The attitude that someone can dictate to another adult their behaviour based on a marital relationship, financial provision or "gift" of transportation is at least a generation out of date.
01-20-2008, 02:20 PM
#65
Instructor
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Ian,
Sorry for the hijack, but I was curious about the film at the end of your posts. It looks like an R8 and a 997 Turbo (?). Is the Turbo attempting the corner that much faster than the R8, or is it demonstrating better road holding by the R8 (the Turbo drifts, while the R8 tracks true). It looks like maybe the Porsche pilot just comes in too hot.
Rick
Sorry for the hijack, but I was curious about the film at the end of your posts. It looks like an R8 and a 997 Turbo (?). Is the Turbo attempting the corner that much faster than the R8, or is it demonstrating better road holding by the R8 (the Turbo drifts, while the R8 tracks true). It looks like maybe the Porsche pilot just comes in too hot.
Rick
01-20-2008, 02:25 PM
#66
Things like these annoy me, too: people eating, drinking or sneezing in my car, or playing around with the interior, or starting to peel off my window tint. And I have a hard time remaining cool.
I feel exactly the same way, but I think that we have to realize that we are neurotic and we shouldn't try to impose our neurotic rules and regulations on others. Anyone who drives in my car, understands that nither drinking nor eating is permitted in the car. My wife drives an Audi S8 and I neither know nor care what the rules are for her car. It's her car and she can do what she wants with it.
I feel exactly the same way, but I think that we have to realize that we are neurotic and we shouldn't try to impose our neurotic rules and regulations on others. Anyone who drives in my car, understands that nither drinking nor eating is permitted in the car. My wife drives an Audi S8 and I neither know nor care what the rules are for her car. It's her car and she can do what she wants with it.
01-20-2008, 03:56 PM
#67
coffee stains?? how about 1/2 gallon of root beer!!!! My "lovely" wife just left it sitting on the floor in the back of "my/her" X5......and of course the car got a nice drink!!
Took me about 2 hours of toweling and brissell cleaning to get the liquids and the smell out....and you complain about coffee stains....I think you are going to lose this one.....oeps you already did....she did it in her previous car and will keep on doing it in this new car.
Let us know when you file for divorce.....
Took me about 2 hours of toweling and brissell cleaning to get the liquids and the smell out....and you complain about coffee stains....I think you are going to lose this one.....oeps you already did....she did it in her previous car and will keep on doing it in this new car.
Let us know when you file for divorce.....
01-20-2008, 04:00 PM
#68
Three Wheelin'
Ian,
Sorry for the hijack, but I was curious about the film at the end of your posts. It looks like an R8 and a 997 Turbo (?). Is the Turbo attempting the corner that much faster than the R8, or is it demonstrating better road holding by the R8 (the Turbo drifts, while the R8 tracks true). It looks like maybe the Porsche pilot just comes in too hot.
Rick
Sorry for the hijack, but I was curious about the film at the end of your posts. It looks like an R8 and a 997 Turbo (?). Is the Turbo attempting the corner that much faster than the R8, or is it demonstrating better road holding by the R8 (the Turbo drifts, while the R8 tracks true). It looks like maybe the Porsche pilot just comes in too hot.
Rick
01-20-2008, 04:59 PM
#69
Instructor
Well bud, here is my low down. My take on this ...
1. This Saturday/Sunday, screw work related worries. Just unwind and take the 997 out on a country drive. Tight curves, open fields on the side, maybe up the mountains. Enjoy the fresh environment and feel the adrenaline pump as you absorb the road in its sunlit glory.
2. After an hour or so, stop at a scenic, quiet place and ponder on ...
A) Think of the top 3-5 things that REALLY make you happy. The things that loosen your mind or puts a smile on your face or quicken your pulse or just makes you feel "Life ... is a wonderful thing!" or ... you get the picture.
B.1) If your wife doesn't figure on the list, well, you've got some problems than coffee. No shame or anything "wrong with it", its probably a sequence of events that get you where you are. I would whole heartedly recommend talking to a marriage councilor. Trust me, several folks make a U turn and realize that they really love their wife, just didn't understand or lost the connection somewhere along the way. I think a councilor or family member or a genuine close friend will be more helpful and meaningful than a post on an internet forum, so I'll stop here.
Note: I don't mean any offense but not 'knowing' you I quickly addresses this possible outcome too.
B.2) Your wife figures on the list. This is lovely and simple to deal with.
C) Realize that a messed car is easy to deal with than a messed up relationship. It is also cheaper to deal with in the long run.
D) I don't know the drive between home and work, but you should probably tell her that it's unsafe to drive while drinking coffee in a manual transmission car. Since the car HAS cup holders, I second the idea that you should buy her a (secure) flash, which won't topple over. Buy her a starbucks gift card too and some roses with a "love you" card (at a minimum). It makes more sense to focus on the safety (which has wider repercussions) than a dirty seat/floormat. She'll appreciate the fact that you're worried about "her" than the "stupid car" - which basically means she won't reject your ideas, even if they are logical.
E) Finally forget about this arguement. "Her" car is her car, but you could have her pay for the cleaning charges if/when she does make a mistake (we're all human ... mistakes happen). The difficulty of the cleanup may dawn upon her when she's responsible for it. If/When this happens, don't vindicate yourself by some victory speech, just support her screw-up - its actually less stressful than the results of overt display of vindication.
F) If you want to try, check out this cupholder: http://www.ultimatecupholders.com/ . Saves the seat for sure and in case of a spill, you only worry about cleaning the mats.
BTW, at another time, tell her that "You know honey, you look great but I'm not sure the high calorie starbuck drinks are healthy."
Its a sticky situation you've gotten into (no pun intended) but its also easy to work it out ... good luck!
PS: Personally, have a strict "no-drinks" rule in my car (996 C2). I only allow my girlfriend (She's going to be wife in 11 days
! ... just fyi, I'm 27) to bend it. That too only about once a year and she knows I'm a little **** about it. Last time she quickly hunted for a flash, put her tea in it and we headed out. If I did find an escalation like yours, I'd simply get that cup holder and lovingly tell her that its ok BUT she'd be responsible to get the car back the way it was. I love way too much to get into an argument over coffee...though I can think of some other, rather trivial (in hindsight) non-car things we've argued hotly over. I have an advantage in a way because my 996 doesn't have a cup holder ... right from the factory! She was surprised but I told her, Porsche doesn't like people drinking coffee and driving .. safety issue.
PPS: This is getting into a really long post for me, but remember this: When you have will have (or have already had kids) SHE was the one pregnant for 9 months and went into labor. You had/will have the luxury of driving in your 997. So there is a LOT of catching up we guys have to do to balance the "things we bring into a marriage".
1. This Saturday/Sunday, screw work related worries. Just unwind and take the 997 out on a country drive. Tight curves, open fields on the side, maybe up the mountains. Enjoy the fresh environment and feel the adrenaline pump as you absorb the road in its sunlit glory.
2. After an hour or so, stop at a scenic, quiet place and ponder on ...
A) Think of the top 3-5 things that REALLY make you happy. The things that loosen your mind or puts a smile on your face or quicken your pulse or just makes you feel "Life ... is a wonderful thing!" or ... you get the picture.
B.1) If your wife doesn't figure on the list, well, you've got some problems than coffee. No shame or anything "wrong with it", its probably a sequence of events that get you where you are. I would whole heartedly recommend talking to a marriage councilor. Trust me, several folks make a U turn and realize that they really love their wife, just didn't understand or lost the connection somewhere along the way. I think a councilor or family member or a genuine close friend will be more helpful and meaningful than a post on an internet forum, so I'll stop here.
Note: I don't mean any offense but not 'knowing' you I quickly addresses this possible outcome too.
B.2) Your wife figures on the list. This is lovely and simple to deal with.
C) Realize that a messed car is easy to deal with than a messed up relationship. It is also cheaper to deal with in the long run.
D) I don't know the drive between home and work, but you should probably tell her that it's unsafe to drive while drinking coffee in a manual transmission car. Since the car HAS cup holders, I second the idea that you should buy her a (secure) flash, which won't topple over. Buy her a starbucks gift card too and some roses with a "love you" card (at a minimum). It makes more sense to focus on the safety (which has wider repercussions) than a dirty seat/floormat. She'll appreciate the fact that you're worried about "her" than the "stupid car" - which basically means she won't reject your ideas, even if they are logical.
E) Finally forget about this arguement. "Her" car is her car, but you could have her pay for the cleaning charges if/when she does make a mistake (we're all human ... mistakes happen). The difficulty of the cleanup may dawn upon her when she's responsible for it. If/When this happens, don't vindicate yourself by some victory speech, just support her screw-up - its actually less stressful than the results of overt display of vindication.
F) If you want to try, check out this cupholder: http://www.ultimatecupholders.com/ . Saves the seat for sure and in case of a spill, you only worry about cleaning the mats.
BTW, at another time, tell her that "You know honey, you look great but I'm not sure the high calorie starbuck drinks are healthy."
Its a sticky situation you've gotten into (no pun intended) but its also easy to work it out ... good luck!
PS: Personally, have a strict "no-drinks" rule in my car (996 C2). I only allow my girlfriend (She's going to be wife in 11 days
! ... just fyi, I'm 27) to bend it. That too only about once a year and she knows I'm a little **** about it. Last time she quickly hunted for a flash, put her tea in it and we headed out. If I did find an escalation like yours, I'd simply get that cup holder and lovingly tell her that its ok BUT she'd be responsible to get the car back the way it was. I love way too much to get into an argument over coffee...though I can think of some other, rather trivial (in hindsight) non-car things we've argued hotly over. I have an advantage in a way because my 996 doesn't have a cup holder ... right from the factory! She was surprised but I told her, Porsche doesn't like people drinking coffee and driving .. safety issue.PPS: This is getting into a really long post for me, but remember this: When you have will have (or have already had kids) SHE was the one pregnant for 9 months and went into labor. You had/will have the luxury of driving in your 997. So there is a LOT of catching up we guys have to do to balance the "things we bring into a marriage".
01-20-2008, 05:12 PM
#70
Drifting
Sids911- your post reads more like something written by a polite 47 year old than the young twenty-something you are. Congradulations and I wish you the best on your upcoming marriage.
As for the original post- There is nothing I can add to what has already been said. Marriage > Car.
As for the original post- There is nothing I can add to what has already been said. Marriage > Car.
01-20-2008, 05:39 PM
#71
Race Car
01-20-2008, 06:46 PM
#72
Three Wheelin'
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Wow...jgriffCS, are you talking about your kids or your wife? Your this and your that, so she should do it your way, etc. That sure doesn't sound like she's been pushing you around. I don't presume to know the dynamics of your marriage, but I'd hazard a guess that this isn't really about coffee.
01-20-2008, 07:29 PM
#73
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Not to get you really going, but I bet if she is irresponsible enough to drink coffee in 70k car, I bet she is on the cell phone too! I bet she is on the cell phone and drinking coffee in a cup with no lid all at the same time. NO HANDS ON THE WHEEL!!
01-20-2008, 08:32 PM
#74
Three Wheelin'
That's what your left knee is for.
01-20-2008, 10:09 PM
#75
Addict
Rennlist Member
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I think someone mentioned this previously - since it's her car, have her acountable for it. Her mess, her problem. Then it's no longer on your mind and no longer an issue. My wife & I agreed on that after bickering over parking(her)/speeding(me) tickets and insurance claims (you can probably guess that none of them were mine).