Phil G.

Seriously, I think the best approach would be to just have a quiet heart to heart where you tell her that her drinking coffee in the Cayman really upsets you and that she should consider making the sacrifice of drinking her Starbucks in the car. Don't throw it in her face that you bought her the car - she knows that, and it will just make her more resistant to your request. And as a good will gesture, buy her a really nice cappucino maker for the house! Bet it works! Good luck.

ELUSIVE

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you guys don't have kids.
What are you gonna do then? Drive them around in a Civic?

fdss

I remember one time when I too my MB in for service, the manager told me they had a SL in to clean out the shifter, linkage, and related transmission parts after his wife spilled coffee in the car. Everything was sticking!

The guy gave the car to his wife and said it's her problem now and bought himself a 996tt. Maybe you can work it to your advantage!

1999Porsche911

This relationship will never last. He must be from the "me" generation.

YA911Fan

If I were the wife, I'd agree to the coffee ban and take up cigar smoking...

fluid15

jgriff, I support most of your position. In the end, it's probably not worth making too big of a deal out of it if you can see she's not going to budge (as others have mentioned - "the big picture"). Dropping her down to a Civic from a Cayman is also probably too drastic of a move, so maybe her next car should be something more simple if she proves she doesn't take care of it per the agreement you made. If you had an agreement up front, she shouldn't completely throw it out the window ... a relationship works both ways. Otherwise, my guess is her next car won't be a Porsche.

printemps2001

Are you kidding? First, you stated that you gave her the car. I've never given anyone a gift provided they follow my rules. Second, it's a mass market vehicle, not an original Duesenberg. If the coffee spills, it can be cleaned. Relax, it's only a car. You'll stay married longer.

printemps2001

Is that like being a little bit pregnant?

RoninM5

Before "we" bought the first BMW for my wife, she, not being a car person, said, "If I get a BMW, it's going to be my car, so don't expect me to keep it the way you keep your car."

I listened. I accepted. And life is easier for us both. She's gone to a Porsche since. And I've gone to a Ford GT.

My car is my car, her car is her car. Keeps it simple. Works for us.

RoninM5

Now this is good advice. This is what compromise is about. Trying to see things from the perspective of another. Not bending one to one's own rules or will.

968PORSCHE

At least you were man enough to ask us. I'll credit you for that. Virtually everyone agrees you need to learn from this and find a way to get over it and I agree so I won't waste any keystrokes on that.
A) consider the worst, she spills it. Is the carpet Black? Figure it's a done deal, it's not going to melt. That's probably going to be it's only flaw when you sell it.
B) Spray the carpet with some 3M stuff to keep it from staining. Not perfect but it will make a huge difference. Do it yourself, it's easy and cheap. The pro's aren't going to do any better. $5 bucks and five minutes you're done.
C) See your wife for the wonderful person she probably is. After all she is putting up with your **** retentive personality and she enjoys the Porsche right? Not all women really enjoy these cars. Allot of them just think they are small noisy and ride badly.

Now for my story. I carpooled with this really fat lady for almost a year. She spilled a THERMOS of coffee. A FREEKING THERMOS FULL on my Linen colored carpet in the back seat. Porsche "Linen" is almost white! The fat b!*@ch! Carpooling with her lasted another month or two at the most. How fat was she? I swear my car was slower and rode much better with her in it. Hey at least I didn't kill her. I fantasized about hitting her in the back of the head with a shovel, but I didn't. I got over it. Eventually. How does this relate to you? I don't know. Perhaps it helps to know we empathize, but sometimes we have to just keep it inside and get over it. Grow a little, consider other people who just don't love the same things we do but are not necessarily bad people. I am often amazed how ordinary the people are who damage our cars in parking lots. They are not the ******** we think they are. They just don't even notice the car that was perfectly clean BEFORE we spent four and a half hours detailing it and bang they ding it. Perhaps that, in some way is her. Just be glad she enjoys the car, and more importantly you.

Hope you figure it out. Yes my car is almost 15 years old, but do you think it looks it. A large percentage of us here are **** about our cars.

Hauser_III

Get a therapist, and try to get over the control issues: you gave her the car, it's your money, you make the rules about the car. If I pulled that kind of crap with my wife, I'd be dead right now.

If the therapist doesn't work, get a divorce lawyer. You'll need one.

I love these cars, absolutely love them. But I love my wife more, much more. And you're putting your car obsession ahead of your wife.

Phil G.

Exact same situation for me, right down to the wife's BMW. She really does make an effort to keep it in good shape, but she drinks her AM coffee in it and believe me, I don't say a word about it. My Porsche and Audi are mine, her BMW is hers. Plus she makes more $$$ than I do - so it's really hers!!

MUSSBERGER

It is a safety issue. The driver should be doing nothing except driving.

How's that.

Deanski

I agree. These cars take all of your attention to properly drive them. If one wants to have other distracting items, drive another car.

I forbid my wife from drinking anything in my car. Have been this way for years.

Coffee is a real PITA to remove from leather as well. Once spilled into it, it passes the leather into the foam.

Have the coffee AT Starbucks. Or, package it in a way so it will not spill in the car and enjoy the car. If someone HAS to drive AND drink coffee or whatever, you're risking yourself and others on the road. Maybe not as much as cell phone operation, but still requires one hand! Then even with another car your're still risking safety for an indulgence.

Deanski