Let's start 2008 with a REALLY crappy joke
#33
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^^^ HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ^^^
#38
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OMG!! Talk about spoiling a wet dream. Thanks a frickin lot. Viagara and Cialis won't ever make that magic.
Anyway I don't think that was Monica in the pic. That what I'm goin with. Yeah, that's right. (a double positive does make a positive, professor)
I guess I'll just go watch the Italian news. Anyone want to know what channel its on?
Anyway I don't think that was Monica in the pic. That what I'm goin with. Yeah, that's right. (a double positive does make a positive, professor)
I guess I'll just go watch the Italian news. Anyone want to know what channel its on?
#39
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OMG!! Talk about spoiling a wet dream. Thanks a frickin lot. Viagara and Cialis won't ever make that magic.
Anyway I don't think that was Monica in the pic. That what I'm goin with. Yeah, that's right. (a double positive does make a positive, professor)
I guess I'll just go watch the Italian news. Anyone want to know what channel its on?
Anyway I don't think that was Monica in the pic. That what I'm goin with. Yeah, that's right. (a double positive does make a positive, professor)
I guess I'll just go watch the Italian news. Anyone want to know what channel its on?
#41
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Ok, back to really crappy jokes.....
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are friars!"
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are friars!"
#42
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A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.
"Are you sure?", the distraught woman asked. "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?"
The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do." He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.
"Well, that confirms it." the vet announced. "Your dog is dead."
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"
"That will be $330." the vet replied.
"I don't believe it!!!", screamed the woman. "What did you do that cost $330!?
"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
"Are you sure?", the distraught woman asked. "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?"
The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do." He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.
"Well, that confirms it." the vet announced. "Your dog is dead."
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"
"That will be $330." the vet replied.
"I don't believe it!!!", screamed the woman. "What did you do that cost $330!?
"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
#44
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Oh Yeah......
What does a fish say when he hits his head against the wall
Dam....................................
And then there was the 80 year old who told his Doc he wanted 3 Viagra pills...
Doc says "What for"
My wife is out of town - My Girlfriends showing up on Friday, My Ex wife is visiting on Saturday, and my wife returns on Sunday night
Doc says - Sir, your 80 years old - the only way I can give you this much Viagra is if you come in for a physical on Monday
OK Doc......
Monday rolls around.....
The 80 year old man makes his appointment - wearing a cast on his arm
"What happened" ask the Doc
No one showed up
What does a fish say when he hits his head against the wall
Dam....................................
And then there was the 80 year old who told his Doc he wanted 3 Viagra pills...
Doc says "What for"
My wife is out of town - My Girlfriends showing up on Friday, My Ex wife is visiting on Saturday, and my wife returns on Sunday night
Doc says - Sir, your 80 years old - the only way I can give you this much Viagra is if you come in for a physical on Monday
OK Doc......
Monday rolls around.....
The 80 year old man makes his appointment - wearing a cast on his arm
"What happened" ask the Doc
No one showed up
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#45
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OK..my five year old told me this joke. The ONLY place I can repeat it...is in this thread. It made him laugh so hard, I thought he was going to fall down.
Ready?
5 year old - Daddy, what is one plus one?
Daddy - ???? ahh, two.
5 year old - No......eleven
followed by uncontrolled laughter.
go figure?
But if it makes you laugh...it must be funny?
(Does anyone get it....other than my 5 year old?????)
Ready?
5 year old - Daddy, what is one plus one?
Daddy - ???? ahh, two.
5 year old - No......eleven
followed by uncontrolled laughter.
go figure?
But if it makes you laugh...it must be funny?
(Does anyone get it....other than my 5 year old?????)