Veloce Raptor

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets," and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

DaveM993

That was even worse than the first time I read it.

...mission accomplished.

jester911

Come on VR. I posted that one on the other bad joke thread. Or one of those threads. They all run together.

Veloce Raptor

Silence, knaves.

deep_uv

At least you didn't post one you'd already posted yourself, this time.

Bull

Nah, that was his other personality....so far, only two of them seem to know that joke.

deep_uv

Hopefully this isn't a repeat, but it's bad at any rate.....



A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

RickBetterley

What goes "hah hah clunk"?


A man who laughed his head off.
Now THAT is a really crappy joke.

paradisenb

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names. They each have a trade name
and a generic name. For example, the trade name for Tylenol is
acetaminophen. Aleve is known as naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, and
Advil is ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for
Viagra. After consideration by a team of government experts, it recently
announced it has settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were mycoxafalin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud,
dixafix, and of course ibepokin.

Pfizer Corporation is making an announcement today that Viagra will soon
be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a
power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. Pepsi's proposed ad campaign
claims it will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a
stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink. This
additive gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just
a good old fashioned stiff drink.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of Mount & Do.

deep_uv

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.

He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

DaveM993

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One is a bottom feeding scum sucker...

and the other is a fish.

deep_uv

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.

One says to the other, "Are you all right?"

"No, I lost an electron."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive."

Larry Herman

What's the difference between a Circus Side Show and a Las Vegas Chorus Line?



Well, the first is a cunning array of stunts.

deep_uv

LMAO!

TR6

What does an agnostic dyslexic do when experiencing insomnia?

Sit up all night wondering if there really is a dog.