How have you handled your wife regarding Porsche costs??
09-24-2018, 05:08 AM
#31
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Originally Posted by JustinCase
First, I have been married to my wife for 43 years. We have always combined our incomes and shared our finances. Any large or unusual purchase is always discussed and agreed to in advance, so there are never any unpleasant surprises to either of us.
While I have always wanted a Porsche 911 since I was 12 years old, my priorities always put school, family, and career first. Each of us has been the primary bread winner at one time or another, and we had to mind our pennies for nearly three decades. I graduated from college, we had two children, she went back to school and graduated from college, while I got my MBA. We paid our way in every case, so neither of us graduated with any debt. This took years.
After our children graduated from college, we started our own business, which took all the available capital we had, including my special savings account which I had been building up to buy a 911 -- it became a state-of-the-art paint system. I placed a Porsche Crest sticker on the machinery to (a) remind me of my dream and (b) to make sure all employees understood that this system was my "Porsche" and by God they had better treat it accordingly.
Slowly, our business grew, even during the Recession. One day, a prospective customer dropped by our showroom driving a Midnight Blue 997 C2S with Sand Beige leather interior. I utterly swooned, and my wife was even taken in. Some day! I would occasionally relax checking out 997s for sale on the internet, and sometimes my wife would sit and look over my shoulder as we discussed each one. This cost nothing.
Finally, we thought we had enough money to replenish my 911 savings account, so I began looking in earnest. When I found a car or two in the vicinity, my wife and I would go to look and drive them. She got tired of spending so much time on this project after a couple of excursions, but supported my continued looking. She had confidence that I knew what I was doing because of all the homework I had put in, including learning a lot on this forum. I eventually found the car we would buy, a Midnight Blue 2008 C2S Cab with two-tone (black over Gray) full leather interior, and we bought it.
Now I was faced with potentially expensive maintenance costs (think "tires"), so I started my Tire Fund where I stashed all my left-over lunch money every week -- typically $20-$30. This strategy also helped me keep my weight down for the lowest possible "loaded weight." So far, this is working. The fund builds up faster than my tires wear out, so I can use it for pretty much all regular maintenance as well, essentially taking nothing from our normal family budget. It also helps that our 997 is essentially my daily driver.
Meanwhile, we ended up replacing her former DD with a brand new 2016 Macan S. Both of us have taken PCA's Basic Skills, so she drives the Macan appropriately. Porsche would be proud.
My advice is to build up a trusting, cooperative and collaborative relationship *first,* then the appropriate amount of money takes care of itself. Now, after driving a GT3 at PECLA, I am trying to figure out how I can increase our income massively so I can cooperatively buy one (new) without trashing our retirement. I pity people who can easily get everything they want right away without the extended pleasure of dreaming about it and responsibly saving for it for years. I have found that this process greatly increases its value and the amount of pleasure derived. At least, to us.
While I have always wanted a Porsche 911 since I was 12 years old, my priorities always put school, family, and career first. Each of us has been the primary bread winner at one time or another, and we had to mind our pennies for nearly three decades. I graduated from college, we had two children, she went back to school and graduated from college, while I got my MBA. We paid our way in every case, so neither of us graduated with any debt. This took years.
After our children graduated from college, we started our own business, which took all the available capital we had, including my special savings account which I had been building up to buy a 911 -- it became a state-of-the-art paint system. I placed a Porsche Crest sticker on the machinery to (a) remind me of my dream and (b) to make sure all employees understood that this system was my "Porsche" and by God they had better treat it accordingly.
Slowly, our business grew, even during the Recession. One day, a prospective customer dropped by our showroom driving a Midnight Blue 997 C2S with Sand Beige leather interior. I utterly swooned, and my wife was even taken in. Some day! I would occasionally relax checking out 997s for sale on the internet, and sometimes my wife would sit and look over my shoulder as we discussed each one. This cost nothing.
Finally, we thought we had enough money to replenish my 911 savings account, so I began looking in earnest. When I found a car or two in the vicinity, my wife and I would go to look and drive them. She got tired of spending so much time on this project after a couple of excursions, but supported my continued looking. She had confidence that I knew what I was doing because of all the homework I had put in, including learning a lot on this forum. I eventually found the car we would buy, a Midnight Blue 2008 C2S Cab with two-tone (black over Gray) full leather interior, and we bought it.
Now I was faced with potentially expensive maintenance costs (think "tires"), so I started my Tire Fund where I stashed all my left-over lunch money every week -- typically $20-$30. This strategy also helped me keep my weight down for the lowest possible "loaded weight." So far, this is working. The fund builds up faster than my tires wear out, so I can use it for pretty much all regular maintenance as well, essentially taking nothing from our normal family budget. It also helps that our 997 is essentially my daily driver.
Meanwhile, we ended up replacing her former DD with a brand new 2016 Macan S. Both of us have taken PCA's Basic Skills, so she drives the Macan appropriately. Porsche would be proud.
My advice is to build up a trusting, cooperative and collaborative relationship *first,* then the appropriate amount of money takes care of itself. Now, after driving a GT3 at PECLA, I am trying to figure out how I can increase our income massively so I can cooperatively buy one (new) without trashing our retirement. I pity people who can easily get everything they want right away without the extended pleasure of dreaming about it and responsibly saving for it for years. I have found that this process greatly increases its value and the amount of pleasure derived. At least, to us.
09-24-2018, 05:27 AM
#32
Instructor
I did two things (mostly by learning the hard way): (1) I bought her a nice new car which does what she wants it to do and (2) I told her that the Porsche won't need as much modification as my previous car (which is basically true).
09-24-2018, 08:09 AM
#33
Sir Thomas Lord of All Mets Fans
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Originally Posted by ocgarza
Gentlemen you are doing this all wrong. How do I keep my wife from knowing what it costs to drive and maintain a Pcar? I don't. She loves driving her 987 CaymanS so much, that she pays for maintenance, tires, etc on "her" car which allows me to only have to cover the costs of "my" 911.
Yes, greatest wife ever.
Yes, greatest wife ever.
T
09-24-2018, 09:54 AM
#34
Racer
Just as a side note on my previous comment. When our children were growing up, we had a family policy we called "Wait A Week." The rules were as follows: 1. All of our kids' income was divided into two -- 50% went into their permanent untouchable savings accounts (no exceptions) and 50% could be spent. 2. Our kids could buy anything they wanted with their money (no borrowing) so long as (a) they told us about what they wanted to spend it on in advance, and (b) they had to wait a full week before they could actually make the transaction. On more than one occasion, one or the other would change their minds before the week was out, saving them from wasting their money on things they did not really value. Later on, both graduated from college with essentially no debt. Most astonishingly, our son (by then in his 30s) actually commented on how he now appreciates this policy of delayed gratification and thanked us for it.
09-24-2018, 10:00 AM
#35
RL Community Team
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Just as a side note on my previous comment. When our children were growing up, we had a family policy we called "Wait A Week." The rules were as follows: 1. All of our kids' income was divided into two -- 50% went into their permanent untouchable savings accounts (no exceptions) and 50% could be spent. 2. Our kids could buy anything they wanted with their money (no borrowing) so long as (a) they told us about what they wanted to spend it on in advance, and (b) they had to wait a full week before they could actually make the transaction. On more than one occasion, one or the other would change their minds before the week was out, saving them from wasting their money on things they did not really value. Later on, both graduated from college with essentially no debt. Most astonishingly, our son (by then in his 30s) actually commented on how he now appreciates this policy of delayed gratification and thanked us for it.
09-24-2018, 11:41 AM
#36
Don't ask, don't tell. I handle 100% of the finances, she doesn't worry about it.
09-24-2018, 12:01 PM
#38
My wife and I both work, so all money is ours, not mine or hers. My wife used to give me a hard time about my car spending until I got fed up and added up what we’ve spent on her vehicles over the years versus what we’ve spent on mine. She gets new cars, I buy used. Her car is serviced at the dealer, I do most of my own services. She keeps a car just three or four years, I keep mine for much longer.
After the math was done, she saw that our outlay for her string of Lexuses and her last two Mercedes has racked up quite a total. If it was a balance sheet, I’d have a ton of equity built up on my side. She kept quiet about my spending for a while after that.
She does, however, have a short memory and before I buy my next car, I’m sure I’ll have to break out and update the spreadsheet again.
After the math was done, she saw that our outlay for her string of Lexuses and her last two Mercedes has racked up quite a total. If it was a balance sheet, I’d have a ton of equity built up on my side. She kept quiet about my spending for a while after that.
She does, however, have a short memory and before I buy my next car, I’m sure I’ll have to break out and update the spreadsheet again.
Brilliant story of a guy that tricked his wife by buying the same color Lamborghini's 4 times. And another where a guy stashed his cars all over the place.
Last edited by Meursault88; 09-24-2018 at 01:59 PM.
09-24-2018, 01:55 PM
#39
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Thread Starter
I totally agree with "JustinCase" regarding wait time/appreciation for items that we save up for, anticipate, get excited about owning and the road to the end result of buying. Growing up it was lower middle class. No fancy cars, but my Dad would take me to car dealerships on weekends occasionally and we would look at new Corvettes and as I got older into my early teens, we would visit my Dad's friend who worked at an exotic used car place and many Porsches were always on the lot. I dreamed about them for years prior to saving up enough cash to finally buy one a few years after graduating college.
I/we taught our kids the value of a dollar during their entire upbringing - They have always worked for what they get outside of good education/food/roof over their head. It has paid off - Both our kids are self sufficient and do very well. More importantly they are great kids and I'm extremely proud of them.
I was and have been the bread winner our entire marriage. During the 10 years prior to meeting and getting married 1983-1993, I had saved a cash fund of $50K that I would use to buy toys. I also purchased an Apt. Building and some rental houses prior to our marriage while running my Photography companies so not only did I bring in the income stream from my Photo businesses, I/we had hefty rental income streaming in every month.
We never discussed who's money it was, never had separate bank accounts. All our $$ has always been in "our" accounts and we are both signers on the accts.
The car/toy buying continued during our marriage with no questions asked until as I explained, she became more interested in my purchases about 15 years ago.
She was always able to buy anything she wanted including 4 of our rental houses.
She also bought whatever car she wanted which was her Mazda 3 (Go figure?). I never questioned it or cared.
I think perhaps my wife's Menopausal issue enters a bit more into my particular situation - Moodiness, irritable at times, sometimes even irrational to the point of insisting I said something that never came out of my mouth or denying what came out of hers.
Of course we all have our own family dynamic and I understand that.
I/we taught our kids the value of a dollar during their entire upbringing - They have always worked for what they get outside of good education/food/roof over their head. It has paid off - Both our kids are self sufficient and do very well. More importantly they are great kids and I'm extremely proud of them.
I was and have been the bread winner our entire marriage. During the 10 years prior to meeting and getting married 1983-1993, I had saved a cash fund of $50K that I would use to buy toys. I also purchased an Apt. Building and some rental houses prior to our marriage while running my Photography companies so not only did I bring in the income stream from my Photo businesses, I/we had hefty rental income streaming in every month.
We never discussed who's money it was, never had separate bank accounts. All our $$ has always been in "our" accounts and we are both signers on the accts.
The car/toy buying continued during our marriage with no questions asked until as I explained, she became more interested in my purchases about 15 years ago.
She was always able to buy anything she wanted including 4 of our rental houses.
She also bought whatever car she wanted which was her Mazda 3 (Go figure?). I never questioned it or cared.
I think perhaps my wife's Menopausal issue enters a bit more into my particular situation - Moodiness, irritable at times, sometimes even irrational to the point of insisting I said something that never came out of my mouth or denying what came out of hers.
Of course we all have our own family dynamic and I understand that.
09-24-2018, 06:53 PM
#40
I don't withhold my purchases from my wife, because she sleeps next to me and I am afraid of what she could do while I sleep
She's not a car person but understands my lifelong relationship with things that have motors, though she loves the Porsche. She says it makes me cool.
Also, I haven't used a mechanic in 15 years (that was to get a half axle and bearings on as quickly as possible) so she knows we are saving a whole bunch of money when it comes to maintenance and repairs. At least that's my take.
My wife was quite in favor of this Pcar purchase, because she thought it would shut me up for a while
So, I'm firmly in the keep open the lines of communication camp,
She's not a car person but understands my lifelong relationship with things that have motors, though she loves the Porsche. She says it makes me cool.
Also, I haven't used a mechanic in 15 years (that was to get a half axle and bearings on as quickly as possible) so she knows we are saving a whole bunch of money when it comes to maintenance and repairs. At least that's my take.
My wife was quite in favor of this Pcar purchase, because she thought it would shut me up for a while
So, I'm firmly in the keep open the lines of communication camp,
09-24-2018, 08:46 PM
#41
Great strategy from Justincase. My dad taught me similar ideas as a kid.
My wife understands that I need a hobby. We agree major expenditures with nothing hidden. I now have a dedicated E46 track car rather than tracking the 997 that was fully approved, and I'm spending the evening installing my new lift. The trick is not having your hobby expenses detract from the rest of life.
My wife understands that I need a hobby. We agree major expenditures with nothing hidden. I now have a dedicated E46 track car rather than tracking the 997 that was fully approved, and I'm spending the evening installing my new lift. The trick is not having your hobby expenses detract from the rest of life.
09-25-2018, 01:48 PM
#42
Advanced
09-25-2018, 03:54 PM
#43
Just as a side note on my previous comment. When our children were growing up, we had a family policy we called "Wait A Week." The rules were as follows: 1. All of our kids' income was divided into two -- 50% went into their permanent untouchable savings accounts (no exceptions) and 50% could be spent. 2. Our kids could buy anything they wanted with their money (no borrowing) so long as (a) they told us about what they wanted to spend it on in advance, and (b) they had to wait a full week before they could actually make the transaction. On more than one occasion, one or the other would change their minds before the week was out, saving them from wasting their money on things they did not really value. Later on, both graduated from college with essentially no debt. Most astonishingly, our son (by then in his 30s) actually commented on how he now appreciates this policy of delayed gratification and thanked us for it.
09-25-2018, 11:13 PM
#44
Racer
For the record, these were kids, and even a week was a very long time for them, especially for a $5.00 toy. However, I understand your point of view. I bet you learn everything you can about your prospective purchases before you buy, more than most actual owners ever know. I bet you value and understand everything you own more than most people. And in the case of many technology items, I bet you end up spending less as the prices often drop while you save up more. While brand new Porsches don't follow this pattern, used ones often do. Wait 5 years and watch a $130,000 Porsche turn into a $70,000 Porsche, often still with very few miles, no dings, and a new car smell. When I bought mine (5 years old with 10,000 miles), I ended up taking it in for its first scheduled maintenance.
09-26-2018, 02:42 AM
#45
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Totally kidding although not married. Echo previous statements regarding transparency.
At at the end of the day if I have to hide it it’s more that I’m not happy about something about the purchase, either I overpaid or was so minuscule only a car persons would understand (titanium lug bolts???).
In in the case of the latter I make sure it’s financially ok. Still contributing to my retirement, paying bills, etc.