BlackOp

i have come to the conclusion that there two types of people who gravitate to the Porsche "brand"....one's who like to get their knuckles skinned and have grease under the nails...and those who just putt around urban landscapes so people will look at them.

I tested a few 951's prior to buying mine...and one guy, also, had a 993 twin turbo. He took me for a ride...sweet **** that thing is fast. He then told me he was "showing off" and it was the fastest he had driven it. I was like "What...you do understand that these cars are over-engineered? They are made to drive the **** out of". It just struck me as bizarre that he had a street-legal race car and drove it like a Civic.

I went to Napa the other day...pulled up next to a guy with a newer 911...(I cant tell them apart..they all look homogenized). He was shining the paint..and I said "nice car"...and he just looked at me. I was like "yep...you're one of those".

I don't consider myself a "wrencher" by any means,..but I definitely like to work on my car (within my abilities). I also drive the **** out it...it's what makes it worth it.

mytrplseven

Those guys don't visit the "forum". They just go to the dealership and lay down their $120 an hour plus overpriced parts and don't think twice about it. My hands look like I've been the loser in a cat fight from changing the belts and seals. It'll take 3 days to get the black dirt from under my nails. I was raised in California during the 50' and 60's and that was a CAR culture. Some things never go away.

doabarrelroll

I think it's only applicable to be a true P-car nut if you've experienced the heartbreak of a broken engine as well as the utter joy of a fantastically curvy road.

odurandina

i think there's actually about 3 or 4. in what category do you put this guy?



or the reverse... this guy could be what we might refer to as a somewhat detached P-car owner. he likely drinks a lot of very good wine, doesn't post on Rennlist, but has the huge Porsche picturebook in the den under a stack of Conde Nasts.... has been to Lime Rock once or again, but doesn't realize that among the 911 enthusiast community, it's implicit that we know a car is a 930 or 993 or whatever... and despite that we know a 1995 model is (best ever), we remain quite comfortable calling such a car by it's external brand name, 'nine-eleven,' with all other accolades, prominent, but without such reason to mention..... or put another way, the wine drinker is more likely to spend a relaxed afternoon reading Keats, or go apple picking with his lovely wife (a Wellesley Grad), rather than hang out with some jackbag, nouveau-riche GT3 owner, (the wives attend poetry readings at the Decordova Museum) discussing oiling issues on a saturday morning at the track.

BlackOp

I just dont understand why someone buys these cars and doesn't "drive" them..I know a restaurant owner...bought a "new" 911 with tip-tronic. He drives it like his BMW SUV. He said it was " the worst investment he ever made"...I laughed.

I dont want to come across as too stereotypical...but living in the city proper, these ****ers are everywhere. It's a a weird thing...and we will be buying their cars in about 15 years and driving them how they were intended.

odurandina

not the tiptronic, by god.

dirtyTurbo

You should see the snubs I get being a kid in my orange car from those people

But I always give them one of these

mazdaverx7

a guy in a newer 911 Carerra 4S pulled up next to me as i was filling up my RX-8 at Sunoco the other day. he told me how he admired my Japanese built rotary machine and even felt a sense of respect for my car. we then began talking about my 944 and he had said that he loves the 944 and wishes that he had bought one when new. his 911 was dirty, had wear on the seats, was littered with a briefcase, some clothing, and even an empty soda bottle on the seat. best of all his car was a 6spd and he said that a true enthusiast wouldn't bother with the tiptronic. he was a good guy and a fellow Porsche owner that was proud to own the car for the machine rather than the image. nice to meet people like that!

odurandina

the man who really turned me on to Porsche was an old gf's dad, Bill McCabe. he owned one of the first C4s, and later about 8 or 9 more 911s with turbos. drove that first C4 in the snow everywhere without a care in the world. loved his compact nokia celular phone when they had just come out. i got one, and my 944. he lived really well about his last 25 years before his life was cut short. he taught me a lot about wine... drove his turbos really fast. probably, the best man i've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

http://www.costar.com/News/Article/W...es-Away/110206

mclaudio

It is pretty interesting (and sad) to see how some fellow Porsche owners treat you differently depending on what model you have. I certainly have experienced the differences when I'm driving my 944, Cayman or 911...or even Cayenne. The best thing is to own such cars for you and not for other people. After owning Porsches for a couple of decades, I have noticed increasing amounts of status seekers versus enthusiasts.

Butters944

Ditto.. When I'm at the show, I'll park next to a 928, get out of the car, wave at the owner, never get a wave back or a conversation

TexasRider

I dont worry with it much.

Maybe you, or I, didnt make All Amercan in High School. Went to a different college besides Texas. Did not marry Miss Texas. Dont have the largest house in Texas. Or even the biggest bank account..

Many of those guys dont mean to be that way. They are just a little self absorbed. There are many many more guys that did all that stuff and are really great guys and treat you as such. More of these really.

They rib you if they know you though. Dont park that crap in my spot. Get a real Porsche. All of that. One of my buds just went and ordered a top line Panamera. They kid him too. Of course they are driving one of the XKR Jaguars, or an Escalade, or a Jeep . They just razz you if they know you. You can see a XJR, a Caddy XLR, and a Panamera, and a ...What... a 1986 951 all parked there together on Friday. It had better be fast. Or its owner tough. LOL! I just tell them to come over and they can fondle all my guns. Their wife wont let them have guns. Dangerous you know LOL LOL!! Or they can drive a tractor if they want to be adventureous that day. Chain that XKR to my John Deere and lets have us a pull off !!

The car thing is mostly good guys. Where you can really get treated rough fast is in offshore boats. 2 feet means it all to them. I can tell you from first hand experience.

xsboost90

Porsche People
By Hans Deutschmann


A tongue-in-cheek look at our fellow

Porsche Pushers. One of the best things about being an active member of a local chapter of the PCA is that you get to meet a lot of interesting people. And, contrary to the popular stereotype of Porsche owners as unemployed rich people, we are a diverse lot. We have members who are mechanics, accountants, tradesmen, lawyers, florists, doctors, students, retirees, and housewives. We have teenage members, young adult members, middle-age members and members in their 80’s.We have Buddhists, Christians, Jews, and Agnostics. Just about any way you choose to slice it, the membership is diverse. However, this doesn’t mean that people who own Porsches can’t be categorized in other ways. I find that I can pigeonhole individuals based on some other measures. It’s fun to do this, since it strips each person of his individuality and allows me to simplify my world. Basically, I classify owners based on how they use their cars and, to a lesser extent, on what kind of Porsche they drive (or want to drive—since some of our members don’t have cars). Herewith, is my list, in no particular order, with special emphasis on my personal biases and stereotypes.

THE WORRIER

The WORRIER is the Porsche owner (usually a new owner) who frets constantly about every detail regarding his baby. Most of us are WORRIERS to some degree when we get our first Porsche. WORRIERS will approach everyone in the Club about which weight and brand of oil they should use in their car. They’ll get on the internet and research endlessly trying to find the best leather conditioner, aromatherapy wax, herbal car wash, tire pressure gauge, etc. They’ll change their oil every 500 miles and replace the air in their tires because it might be stale. They’ll short-shift their car at 2500 RPM just to make sure it doesn’t get over-revved (even though the previous owner may have regularly banged it up against redline). The WORRIER won’t corner his car hard because that would place undue strain on the delicate chassis. These guys are usually cured when they discover that their **** behavior has actually done more damage than good to their car; “Well, sir, you car runs like crap because the valves and combustion chambers are totally car boned up–you should run this thing hard through the gears every once in awhile to clean it out.” Or, “I’m sorry sir, but your paint was damaged by leaving the bra on your car while it was raining.’’ If the WORRIER isn’t cured quickly he may evolve into the undesirable “QUEEN.”

THE GARAGE QUEENS

These are the guys that will only drive their Porsches if they are going to a Concours–and only if they absolutely have to. Even if a concours requires that a car be driven rather than trailered, a QUEEN will try to figure how he can trailer it surreptitiously within a few blocks of the show, then push it to the event (so he doesn’t stir up any dirt in the engine compartment). If you are unlucky enough to have a car that he perceives as competition, be forewarned. The QUEEN will carefully scrutinize your car while wearing a facial expression like he is examining a turd. The QUEEN often has very good knowledge of the historical details of his car because that knowledge relates directly to how the car can be scored in a concours. This knowledge also allows him to lose first place with dignity, “I guess John deserved to win first place, although I am surprised that the judges ignored the fact that he didn’t have original tread-pattern Continentals on his car.” GARAGE QUEENS wouldn’t think of driving their cars “hard” because they didn’t buy them to drive. They bought them to collect trophies. The best thing about QUEENS is that you probably won’t see them at any events other than concours or shows unless they also own a “driver” Porsche (see “Cautions and Warnings”). The only exception to all of this drivel is the QUEEN that owns and shows a truly classic Porsche (904, 959, Speedster, etc). Usually you will find that this type of QUEEN will actually drive his car (even the Porsche factory pulls out the 917’s once in a while so they can flog them on a race track).

TECHNOS

Everyone knows who the TECHNO is; he’s the guy that can quote by memory the entire text of Karl Ludvigsen’s massive Porsche-Excellence Was Expected. TECHNOS are useful as Club pets because at many events you don’t have internet access to the Library of Congress. They can answer most of your Porsche-related questions right off the top of their head. If you want to have some fun, ask a TECHNO a question that he can’t answer — he’ll be up for three days straight trying to figure it out so he can preserve his honor. They can drive any kind of Porsche, it doesn’t really matter, and they see themselves more as experts on Porsche lore rather than active participants in the Porsche driving experience.

STATUS CONSCIOUS

Peter Schutz, former president of Porsche, once said, “For some people, a Porsche is nothing more than a fur coat, it’s something you wear, not something you drive.” Peter was describing the STATUS owner. It is extremely unlikely that you will ever meet one of these owners at a Club event.Why? Because they don’t know that the Club exists, and they wouldn’t join it if they did. These are the people that create the unfavorable Porsche owner stereotype. They overdress, wear too much gold, park in handicapped zones, have bad traffic manners, and look down their noses at everyone. If you happen to meet one of them in say a parking lot, and you are not driving your Porsche, the conversation could go something like this. You: “Nice 993, how do you like it?” STATUS owner: “Actually, it’s not a ‘93, it’s a ‘97 ‘Porsh’ Carrera. I like it okay, but you have to shift it a lot and my wife’s Lexus rides much better. I might trade it for a Boxer, they ride smoother and you can get an automatic in them. I know a guy at the dealership.” This guy knows absolutely nothing about Porsches except what they cost. The Porsche Gods created STATUS owners so that the rest of us could get good used cars. When the status effect of the car wears off and they discover that Porsches “ride like sports cars,” STATUS owners sell them and move on to Lincoln SUV’s or stretch Hummers. Meanwhile, we all suffer.

WILD-*** GEARHEADS

These are basically hot rodders who have chosen Porsches instead of Hemi-Cudas. The car sitting at the top of the GEARHEAD pyramid is the air-cooled Turbo. Most serious GEARHEAD cars are faster than their track-car counterparts. These cars are so highly modified that they even scare their owners. As a matter of fact, this is the ultimate goal. GEARHEADS won’t stop tweaking until their cars have taken on a “you’d better watch your *** with me” attitude. When you get close to a serious GEARHEAD car you can feel all the little hairs on your body stand on end, kind of like you were part of a static electricity exhibit at Science City. If you talk to one of these guys, they invariably have a tremendous amount of respect for their cars (the ones that don’t are already dead). GEARHEADS like to talk about the time that their cars jumped up in the air and changed lanes when they grabbed fourth gear at 120 miles per hour. The cars are immaculate, except for little smears on the paint caused by hitting bugs at 150 miles per hour (on the way to the Club breakfast). GEARHEADS usually don’t show up for many of the Club events because they are too busy doing things like having their pistons ceramic-coated or installing 962 water-cooled heads and 917 rotor/caliper assemblies on their cars. When they aren’t tweaking their cars, they relax by looking for roads in neighboring counties or states where they can “run her up to 180” without worrying about cops or other drivers. I like these guys, but I don’t really want to ride with them.

THE WATERBOYS
These are water-cooled Porsche owners. Although this category obviously includes 928’s, 924’s, Boxsters, and the new 911’s, I’m thinking particularly of 944’s and 968’s.They are usually a friendly lot, even though they know that the purists are always thinking,“ real Porsches aren’t water-cooled.” WATERBOYS are well tolerated these days because the turbo versions of these cars are so fast and viceless on the track. If you are an air-cooled owner and you persist in tormenting a WATERBOY, he’s likely to get fed up and challenge you to a lap or two at Heartland Park. Personally, I like WATERBOYS, because they really seem to enjoy their cars and they drive them “as they were intended.” Besides, the new water-cooled Porsches are the best Porsches yet in terms of performance and, like it or not, they represent the future of the marque.

THE PORSCHE PURIST

This is the guy that would make Dr. Porsche proud. He is what I aspire to be when I grow up. He owns any model of Porsche. First and foremost, the PURIST knows that Porsches are made to be driven. His car is clean and well maintained and may have been mildly modified with upgrades such as tires, wheels, a raspy exhaust system, etc. He’s owned his car for a while and he drives it regularly. His car will inevitably show the wear and tear of being a daily driver. It means that this car will probably never win a concours. But, over the years, his car will begin to acquire a well-worn patina, similar to the kind that you would find on that jack knife that your grandfather carried around in his pocket for 40 years. Unless you are also a PURIST, he is having more fun with his Porsche than you are—no matter what you are doing with yours.

THE OLD GUARD MEMBER

The OLD GUARD member was probably a founding father of your local chapter of the Porsche Club. He has seen it all. He remembers when Porsche drivers not only waved when they passed each other on the road; they actually pulled over to talk. He’s owned several types of Porsches over the years and he’s driven across the country in at least one of them. He has been to Porsche Parades, countless tours, driving events, open houses, and banquets. He is, by definition,” mature.” Because of his relatively vast experience with the marque, he is the best member to travel with if you have an iffy car that might require technical expertise sometime during the trip. You just have to be able to put up with his “Porschier than Thou” attitude. He has, at one time or another, been a TECHNO RACER, WATERBOY, and probably more. He is currently a PURIST. He probably drives an aircooled 911. Porsches are a part of his life and always will be. He tells great stories because he realizes that one of the best things that Porsches do is create fond memories.

CAUTIONS AND WARNINGS

Some owners can be classified into more than one category. This helps fine-tune the description of an individual when someone else in the Club wants to know more specifically what kind of a nut another guy is. For example, as we’ve already seen, “OLD GUARD” members, because of their experience, are particularly good at falling into many categories (and they will use this to their advantage). Since an OLD GUARD member has usually owned several types of Porsches, he has at least partial membership in many of the other groups such as the TECHNO RACER, WATERBOY, etc. It almost always guarantees that he is a member of the TECHNOS. However, the Official Rules dictate that any individual who falls into two or more categories will be classified officially as the lowest life form. Therefore, if a PURIST owns several cars, one of which he seldom drives for fear of getting dust on it, and then he is officially classified as a QUEEN. It’s my game. I make the rules! THE OTHER GUYS, you ask, what about the 356ers, 912ers, 914 and 914-6 owners? Well, most of them will fall into one or more of the above descriptions, even though they weren’t specifically mentioned. Besides, many of these groups have their own perverse sub-cultures including organizations, memberships, and DUES. And that’s another discussion. Editor’s Note: Hans Deutschmann is a pen name of the author, a Kansas City Porsche owner. ■

SeaCay

This is precisely why I have no interest in PCA. Most regions couldn't care less about you unless you have a newer model 911, or very old, and restored, 356 (but you should also have a newer 911 to keep up appearances). Go into the Porscheplatz hospitality tent at any given ALMS event, and the amount of Porsche wisdom in there can be collected within a speak and spell. Sure, there's going to be some true enthusiasts, but most of them have never turned a wrench on a P-car in their life. Hell, most don't even own any tools. Screw 'em.

Shawn Stanford

Well, I have to admit that I don't turn my own wrenches; but that's mostly a matter of time, expertise and laziness. I've rolled up my sleeves before with my cars. I've loved the marque since I was a kid, though.

I'll wave to other P-Cars - even Cayennes and even when driving my Cayenne, although I seldom get anything back. I think most Porsche drivers don't have Cayennes on their radar, and most Cayenne drivers don't seem to be P-Car folks.

I guess I'm a WATERBOY, since all my P-Cars have been watercooled. I love a nice 914 or early 911, though...