piperporsche180944

Believe it or not guys there are kids that drive Japanese economy cars and they call them "sports cars". Some of these fools actually go on eBay and purchase the ricer "special" turbo kits.... The following story is about a fool that isnt worth the oxygen he consumes.

Driving in a 25mph in my mildly modified 951 in a small town setting I hear this disturbance... A ruckus if you will closing in on me... And woosh, a "ricer fly by was performed"..... Immediately followed by heavy braking so he didn't run the red light he failed to acknowledge. After I stopped laughing and caught my breath looked over and shook my head.

I followed him as we seemed to be taking the same rout. Every stop sign and every straight he was gunning it like... Well... A ricer...

We hit a stop light upon approaching the highway,With a 2 lane entrance at my disposal I was right behind him with no traffic near. The green light turns, he gunned it, shortly after I got on it. By 80mph I was a good fender ahead of him and decided to let off. He carried on, kept going for at least 30 more seconds.

He slowed down and followed me off the next exit, we talked a little bit and I found out his rice machine is a Honda Accord with a H22 and a T4 turbo kit. My 951's mods consisted of a cat delete, Autothority chips, LRBE and a 3.0BAR FPR. So I figured it to be a ok kill. Now I have full bolt ons, 61-1.. etc..

I later found out he told EVERYONE I cruise with that he smoked my car and it is a terd. I told everyone how it really went and they said prove it. One of the guys told the ricer "run em for $500 40-100mph since you already beat him it would be easy money". The ricer would have none of it. He still holds true to his story, that he pulled bus lengths on me. The ricers of the group believe him... Ill just have to invite my mechanic to bring his e85 monster 951 so we can both laugh at their stupidity.

I hate today's rice groups!

roman944

really? you actually bothered?

I feel sorry

piperporsche180944

It was to tempting. :P

tifosiman

I had an incident the other day at work that greatly disturbed me. I made some killer spaghetti and meatballs the night before and brought some of the left-overs into work and stuck them in the fridge in the lunchroom. The morning past by rather slowly as all I could think of was my delicious meatballs waiting for me. Calling my name. Mmmm. Lunchtime came and I grabbed my tupperware container and popped it open to stick it in the microwave. I had the shock of my life! My meatballs were gone. All that was left was spaghetti and sauce. What kind of sick SOB steals a man's meatballs and leaves the rest of the food in the container?!? It ruined the rest of my day; I was totally non-productive and meetings consisted of me not paying attention to the agenda and looking at every person in the room trying to see if they had any sauce on their shirt.

Anyway, thought you guys should know.

aben8057

haha...
My story revolves around coffee. Now I am one that if I dont have my morning coffee, I am a real SOB. The company I work for offers cream which is high in fat therefore, I bring in my non-fat milk. One morning to my surprise I went to make my coffee, upon taking the first sip I was bothered by what taste it had. I made another cup with the same after taste left in my mouth. Upon further investigation, I found out some SOB drank my milk and diluted the remaining milk with water.

So, I decided to get even and buy another pint but this time remove some of the milk and use my personal pee to dilute it. Never had another problem after that..

JnJNY

I had waffles for breakfast.

teamcrossworks

I hate "ricers"

I think I'm going to make pancakes for everyone this morning...

luftpirate

You just threw gasoline on the fire. Losing to a Porsche is still a Win to a Rice Boy.

CyCloNe!

I personally don't have a problem with the whole tuner scene, especially since I had a car that I put a lot of time and money in that was designed for looks and performance.

But I personally get tired of kids with their Fast and Furious aluminum wings that are for one of out style and two look pathetic. I also get tired of kids ego's with their cars and driving irresponsible on the public roads...

I don't hate anyone or dislike anyone but I truly feel people need to learn to respect one another and value someone else's life above their own.

bonus12

our porsches aren't meant for this. it's bad that one of our own felt inclined to stand up for the porsche badge against a suped-up honda. our cars are becoming classic so let's not let this fate fall in the hands of "ricers"!

personally, i would have just played with the driver but not race him at all because it would not have been worth it. nothing to gain, you know? besides, our 944's have a LOT more that cannot be demonstrated in an impromptu, anonymous citizen vs. citizen drag race.

OUR CARS ARE BECOMING CLASSIC!

Jay Gratton

I think the OP should keep it legal and not race anyone on public roads. Just let him go and don't encourage it.

piperporsche180944

I just laugh at the ricer scene and their eBay/Autozone/Folgers Coffee Can Exhaust Performance Parts. My 1988 951 is now 350-380rwhp depending on the boost setting and is track prepped. The one I just picked up is around that same power as well. I would surely invite these children out to Grattan but none of them have track experience, the off camber turn would surely treat them to a whole new fear. Id invite them out to Gingerman but I'm willing to bet these import owners cant define "apex", needless to say they would be getting a lot of field time. XD

CorsePerVita

Man it has been SUCH a long time since I did anything like that. I just don't do that kind of thing anymore. Doesn't get to me anymore. They can go tell their friends all they want, at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter. If they want to go to autocross and spank my time and prove it then so be it. Or if they wanna go to the track and pass me up then okay.

But the street, well... not worth it. When I was a teenager I thought that kind of thing was just awesome. It got WORSE when I got a motorcycle, thought I could just wipe the smirk off any sportcar owners face.

Eventually I got involved in autocross and other events and realized it was far more fun to do it legitimately and take it off the street, than risk myself and others for bragging rights. Funny how that works when we start to mature and realize the weight of risk and thrill, and it's just not worth it.

The ricer will always remain a ricer. Unless he grows up... let him have his grocery getter victory. If it makes him feel better, so be it, no matter what you say his story won't change, and if someone wants to discredit your car because of some wild story then so be it.

Now... with that said, I do have a quick story about a ricer victory.

One day I'm headed to work in my 944. This ricer that sounds like your average weed wacker pulls up. I saw him coming because he was weaving in and out of traffic like fast and the furious. Of course he sees me and wants a race.

The state troopers had been out on the highway giving out speeding tickets like candy so lots of speed traps. I obviously wasn't going to play. But of course he wanted to race. So I look over and do that ricey little nod like "Sup bro lets do this" and he nods. He beeps his horn, and i get all serious looking. He TAKES OFF like a bat out of hell! (not really, since he wasn't quick at all) I immediately sit back in my seat again, continuing on my way at the speed limit enjoying my music. he notices that I'm not playing and that I am just going the speed limit and didn't actually go with him, so he gives me the finger.

Apparently, he decided he'd give it another try and realizes I won't play so he just goes off with his fart can blaring. Of course, he starts weaving in and out of traffic because he had to prove he was such a badass. At some point, he's so far up the highway I can't really see him anymore, I figure "What an asshat."

As I come up the highway and drop down the hill I see lights up ahead. Mr. Ricer has caught himself in the speed trap and been pulled over by the state police. I politely roll down my window and wave as I drive by. Knowing all the time had I played along i'd probably be there too.

More than likely his story will include that he raced me, had huge car lengths on me, and was trying so hard to race me weaving in and out of traffic that we got caught in a pursuit and he almost outran the cops, he somehow picked up a hot chick along the way because she was so turned on by his mad racing skills and then he went home to play his playstation 3 and drink a forty.

When really, the whole time I just laughed, watched him be an asshat and get pulled over while I maintained the speed limit listening to James Brown.

But I sure do end up with a much funnier story to tell.

Mark944na86

One fairly widely accepted definition of a "ricer" is a young man who has way too much ego invested in a bunch of performance mods, and has an insecure need to prove to the world something about that collection of performance mods.

Something along these lines:

You realise by actually "racing" them, you have shown us all that you are no better than they are. In fact, you *are* whom you claim to despise.

Funny how that works sometimes, isn't it?

Now, about those missing meatballs...

James Chimney

I come from a 25 year sport bike motor cycle back round and we call other bikers that ride with shorts, tank tops, flip flops and no helmet "squids" they ride high powered bikes "just because they can" and really don't know how to handle them and crash almost weekly, so "ricer" is a good name for these guys and my favorite saying was "sooner or latter the road turns" and I would be them almost every time, same with out cars if they do not know their equipment they will get hurt.
glad to hear you dusted him