Capt. Slow

HWFM members,

May I apply for membership?

Qualifications are:

1. Lone Star Region, Yellow (is that for chickens? If so, I am in the right place)

2. At the last DE (2/9 and 10) was passed by most of you there. Actually, at most of the DE's I am passed by most of you there.

3. I am driving the Gray Boxster with green taped headlights that was diminishing in your rear view mirrors.

4. I am a very courteous passee and get lots of "signaling to pass" practice.
At least I hope so -- I don't think I held anyone up longer than the next available straight.

5. Have a few excuses to use, too. (Brake problem, etc.)


This looks like a good group for me.

Do you all have room for one more?

Thank you in advance for considering me.

All the best,

- Mark

Mike in Chi

How much beer money do you bring to Texas DEs?

Adrienne

I'm not so sure on this one. His first post on RL is to join our team...that's way too fast. We may need further justification on this one.

Bull

A better question is how much beer you bring to the DEs, and what brand (be very careful here).

We also need video of your droving, along with pictures of hot looking females....family members will do here.

A full chronology of your droving experiences will help, in case somebody here were to actually review something......

jester911

An application would need to filed with the official member review committee which may or may not exist.

Of course there is no need to get in a hurry because nobody here is really sure where that would be filed.

Also the team Hot Lap Dancer has a good point. Your moving way too fast for this forum. We may want to get to know you to see if your standards are low and slow enough for HWFM.

It also may appear the applicant is trying a bit too hard to cover up something coming in with the screen name of Capt. Slow. Could be a bit of sandbagging here.

deep_uv

I'll assume responsibility for the beer inspection and testing. Please have it delivered cold to my garage at the next DE.

Capt. Slow

HWFM team,

First, thank you all for the fast replies. I had really thought the process would be a bit slower. I will type my responses very slowly. This may take a while, though.

In order, then:

1. Beer money -- I bow my head in shame as I usually have just driven home afterwards. But I hope that by sipping martinis, made with Junipero gin (if you haven't tried it, well, you are missing out), after getting home makes up for it. At least a little bit. But I can improve -- I promise!

2. First post on RL? Not really. I just changed up as I started getting more involved in DE's (now some of you may recognize me as Richard Jackson's asst. registrar on Saturday mornings) and realized how slow I am. I have lurked far more than posted, in other words. I hope this helps allay any concerns about, well, whatever. Certainly have no fears of excess speed. Ask Richard, after all, he was my instructor one weekend (and we went off track only once! Not bad for him, eh?)

3. Bull, see reply #1; videos -- have no camera, hence no videos. Hot babes? Hmm. Gotta learn how to do that and thought that might actually be a separate topic for which I would hope to not get banned. For an endless string of hot babe photos, see 6speedonline.com's Off Topic's The Manly Thread. With almost 3,300 replies, that should keep you busy a while. It does me. And let's see, droving experiences. None, actually, as that refers to herding cows and such. On the other hand, as that is done rather slowly, perhaps, upon proper reflection, I do fit that description. Now, driving? That's a long story, and as slowly as I am typing this, I don't think I have time to fit it in.

4. I couldn't find an application. That's why I listed a few qualifications on the first post as Capt. Slow. I did, rather shamelessly, borrow that moniker from James May on Top Gear as it seems all too fitting. I can assure you that my standards are quite low. And judging by the ease with which that Miata passed me last weekend, I gotta be driving slow enough, don't you think?

And as mine is the '07 Boxster S, in theory that shouldn't happen. Sandbagging? I wish.

Remember that turtle that got run over a few DE's ago at TWS? He passed me!!! If he had stayed on the proper line in Turn 2 he would have been just fine. I think he turned in late and spun and only then got run over.

5. Deep UV -are you the official beer inspector? Or are you part of the membership committee? Or both? How will I know you are you and not some impostor? I was in garage 35 this time -- I am sure we can arrange to have things in order next time. As long as it's not too fast.


I hope this helps.

If you all have any further questions, please ask. But please type very slowly as I really am...

- Capt. Slow



PS: Actually...

All the best,

- Mark

Bull

See, this is the kind of selfless dedication we often see around here!

Bull

Totally unresponsive on the part of the applicant. And way too much for most here to read anyway. PICTURES!!!!

And for God's sake man....gin?????

What is a "committee"? He who has been through a Commitment Hearing, then committed?

Bonster

I think this applicant needs to search the HWFMR subforum for what "droving" means here. You can't get on the inside if you don't know the lingo. And you don't have to have a camera to get pics of chicks for these guys . . . you merely need to learn how to use Google or some other such search engine, then provide the url in your posts. These guys are easily entertained with girly pics -- just don't post any that are larger than a size 6 and you should be okay there.

deep_uv

Yes to both, but most importantly the beer inspector. Good point on the imposter problem. Many here will try to fake my beer testing credentials on seeing a case of cold ones. However, you'll know it's me because you'll have no problem discerning that I've in fact personally inspected quite a few beers in my day. Buuuurrrrrrppppp!

Bonster

Lol, Steve. I'm gonna inspect a martini here in about and hour.

mglobe

Only one?

Capt Slow

First of all, going home to drink a martini, when they are regularly served at the track? doooood...

Some assignments:

As Bonnie mentioned, do your reading and study the renn-etymology of the word drove. Come back and report

Become a paying member of RennList.

Bring beer to our unofficial beer tester deep_uv & his assistants mglobe, TR6, trackjunky, and boze_man at the club race in March.

Bring grid girls to the chief martini maker, either to his garage, or to his new bar with his trash can boys.

Post photos of (uv, are you listening too?) ATTRACTIVE scantily clad women.

Provide appropriate documentation of your ineptitude.

You're moving in the right direction here. Be patient, and do not lift... ever

Bull

And remember, "do not lift" only applies to those who press the accelerator WAAAAY down near, or to, the floor. If you never push on it very much, lifting won't upset things all that much.

Adrienne

Well, that IS interesting...