Dealerspeak...
Thread Starter
Burning Brakes
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 867
Likes: 612
From: Chicago
Dealerspeak...
Now my local Porsche dealership (Napleton Porsche) has been mostly great. My salesperson (Maciej) has always been upfront, honest, and accomodating. Great service department also. But, my previous experience with BMW and Acura have been pathetic. So, I thought I'd list some incredible examples of dealerspeak I have encountered in the past...
"If you put a deposit down today, you'll have the car by summertime!" translates into "I have no idea when the car will be available. As far as I know, there still messing with the clay modeling"
"Oh, the trunk is supposed to close that way. It's designed to use extra force. It's a German thing" translates into "I have no idea why that ML tailgate requires Herculean strength to get to latch. It's a POS. I wonder if I am gonna have to give him a bigger discount?"
"Oh that's not torque steer, it's just the really sensitive and precise steering on the TL" translates into "What the heck is torque steer?"
"Oh yeah. the TL has a 0-60 time of 4.5 seconds! It's awesome!" translates into "I'll try to say anything to try to impress you even though it's so far fetched to be laughable."
Please feel free to add...
"If you put a deposit down today, you'll have the car by summertime!" translates into "I have no idea when the car will be available. As far as I know, there still messing with the clay modeling"
"Oh, the trunk is supposed to close that way. It's designed to use extra force. It's a German thing" translates into "I have no idea why that ML tailgate requires Herculean strength to get to latch. It's a POS. I wonder if I am gonna have to give him a bigger discount?"
"Oh that's not torque steer, it's just the really sensitive and precise steering on the TL" translates into "What the heck is torque steer?"
"Oh yeah. the TL has a 0-60 time of 4.5 seconds! It's awesome!" translates into "I'll try to say anything to try to impress you even though it's so far fetched to be laughable."
Please feel free to add...
Rennlist Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 599
Likes: 12
From: USA
LOL..those are good.
The best one I ever heard was when I was looking at a 2003 BMW Z8. The salesman said " The Z8 will easily out run a Porsche turbo. It does 0 to 60 in 3.2 secs". I said "Wow", turned around and left!
The best one I ever heard was when I was looking at a 2003 BMW Z8. The salesman said " The Z8 will easily out run a Porsche turbo. It does 0 to 60 in 3.2 secs". I said "Wow", turned around and left!
Advanced
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 50
Likes: 0
From: Orange County, CA
Originally Posted by alin2
"Oh that's not torque steer, it's just the really sensitive and precise steering on the TL" translates into "What the heck is torque steer?"
Three Wheelin'
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,564
Likes: 2
From: Chicago
This Ferrari BB512 has a V12...
So said a sales guy who offered to sell me the car a few years ago. I offered him a bet that it wasn't a V12. If I was wrong I would pay full price for the car and they could keep it. If I was right they would give me the car for free. I finally worked my way up (down?) the foodchain to the dealer principal who reemed the sales guy and his manager for not knowing their facts. So close!
Rennlist Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,301
Likes: 653
From: Bay Area CA
I was told my 93 RX7 Biturbo had a break-in chip that, after 1200 miles, would allow an extra 50 hp!
BMW sales guy was bragging about their v6 versus Mercedes.
Last week, while ogling a new 987S in between two 986s, a sales guy passing by told me to wait on a purchase until the new model was released!
BMW sales guy was bragging about their v6 versus Mercedes.
Last week, while ogling a new 987S in between two 986s, a sales guy passing by told me to wait on a purchase until the new model was released!
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Pro
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 590
Likes: 1
From: OH
Very DRY this one--but typical:
Was once checking out a used Maserati which had an
EXTREMELY noisy lifter (valve/c.rod?)--obvious to anyone with half-a-wit that things not right in there;
Me: "what is that NOISE?"
Dealer: (puzzled look) "That's the ENGINE running."
__________________________________
One local BMW dealer lost me early on when the sales assoc had to check the bootlid model designation on a row of vehicles to see which cars were 3-series and which were 5-series.
Was once checking out a used Maserati which had an
EXTREMELY noisy lifter (valve/c.rod?)--obvious to anyone with half-a-wit that things not right in there;
Me: "what is that NOISE?"
Dealer: (puzzled look) "That's the ENGINE running."
__________________________________
One local BMW dealer lost me early on when the sales assoc had to check the bootlid model designation on a row of vehicles to see which cars were 3-series and which were 5-series.
Thread Starter
Burning Brakes
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 867
Likes: 612
From: Chicago
Originally Posted by SoCal Alan
How about after I call several dealers for a 6-speed Acura TL, I got a couple responses of "all we have are automatics because nobody in California drives a stick anymore".
Anyways, the TL was a nice interim car until the 997S!
Thread Starter
Burning Brakes
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 867
Likes: 612
From: Chicago
Originally Posted by baboou
One of my favorite.
"The Honda Odyssey is a limited edition. No discounts."
"The Honda Odyssey is a limited edition. No discounts."
That's really funny. The sad thing is that I know of several people that paid MSRP for a new Odyssey, Siena, or the Nissan one...Quest? My God, paying MSRP for a minivan...the horror...
Instructor
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 206
Likes: 15
From: Granger Indiana
I have one for you.
I was looking for a 997. I had found one that was optioned the way I wanted.
I called on it and in about an hour we were real close to having a deal.
I got a call back later and it was the salesman and he said he just found out that the car had been taken on a dealer sponsored road trip. The car now had 2k miles on it.
I told him I was going to pass on the deal.
For a week I got calls from him trying to convince me that they actually did me a favor by putting the miles on it because now it is broken in.
The funny part is that he almost convinced me to buy the car. He offered an aggresive discount, but it was a used car in my mind now.
In the end I was happy with the salesman and would have bought a different car from them if they would have matched the deal I could have made with another dealer.
I was looking for a 997. I had found one that was optioned the way I wanted.
I called on it and in about an hour we were real close to having a deal.
I got a call back later and it was the salesman and he said he just found out that the car had been taken on a dealer sponsored road trip. The car now had 2k miles on it.
I told him I was going to pass on the deal.
For a week I got calls from him trying to convince me that they actually did me a favor by putting the miles on it because now it is broken in.
The funny part is that he almost convinced me to buy the car. He offered an aggresive discount, but it was a used car in my mind now.
In the end I was happy with the salesman and would have bought a different car from them if they would have matched the deal I could have made with another dealer.
Advanced
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 50
Likes: 0
From: Orange County, CA
Originally Posted by Brian E
For a week I got calls from him trying to convince me that they actually did me a favor by putting the miles on it because now it is broken in.
Last edited by SoCal Alan; Feb 20, 2005 at 11:36 PM.
Race Car
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,607
Likes: 4
This one was good... before I bought the Cayenne S I looked at the Cadillac SRX. After I found a "new" Cadillac on the lot that I could stomach I was surprised to see that it had 214 miles on the odometer. I looked to the salesman and asked, "How did that happen?". With a straight face he looked at me and said, "They all come that way".
Last edited by JohnnyNarcosis; Feb 20, 2005 at 10:45 PM. Reason: (sp)
Racer
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 254
Likes: 0
From: Northwest PA
I was looking at a 3 series a year or so ago and I was asking the sales guy about the difference in feel between the 325, 328, and 330. He looked right at me and said, "well they all have the same horsepower so there is really no difference, they feel the same."
Playing along I asked what the difference was then in the number on the back of the car and he said that they were "just there for different option packages, leather, sport package, etc..."
So I said thanks, walked the other direction, and bought a car from one of the guys that did know the difference. Amazing they even get hired.
Playing along I asked what the difference was then in the number on the back of the car and he said that they were "just there for different option packages, leather, sport package, etc..."
So I said thanks, walked the other direction, and bought a car from one of the guys that did know the difference. Amazing they even get hired.