Bozo battles his distributor cap: Part Deux
08-15-2003, 08:19 PM
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Bozo battles his distributor cap: Part Deux
Note: Apologies for the humorless tone, Bozo's got to bail for his wedding anniversary weekend and wants the info to make it to the archives for his brothers in bozoness while it is fresh in his mind - it might be re-issued later. One does not mess with a clown's wife !
So, it was a bad day in bozoland. Having been defeated by the lower stripped screw of the secondary distributor cap, located under the sensor covered plastic tubing doohickey of unamatrix 5 subdivision 4 of his borg-like 993 engine, Bozo could not concentrate at work. After bugging the gentle readers of The Board for more advice, Bozo came home on 1.5 plugs per cylinder (still a heck of a lot better than before he replaced the top cap) armed with a set of screw removers from Sears and a couple of ideas.
Off went the sensor connectors, off went the plastic doohickey routing air, and the spaghetti factory was visible again. Note to the reader: The sensor connectors are removed by pushing gently on the metal clips wrapped around them. You knew that ? Arumph... Bozo's been prying them off with pliers for 2 months now ! (Cue monkeys slapping their foreheads) Duh !!! Ahem... Anyway, just like anytime the pipe is removed, the engine decides it's too hot and starts pumping air furiously in Bozo's face, since the absence of piping means straight up your clown nose, the automotive equivalent of "I fart in your general direction" for those of you familiar with Monty Python! Great working conditions, as if Florida wasn't hot enough !
2 soaked T-shirts later, Bozo was back to yesterday's situation. He carefully marked the plug connectors on top of the second cap from 1 to 6, and removed them all to get a better view. The screw was in dire straits. First Bozo tried to tighten it some more to break it free, as advised.... That did not work, the screw was already too stripped in both directions to give a damn. A couple of expletives later, Bozo tried the impact driver and some judiciously placed blows, but there was no room to operate either without damage to the fender !!! Plus this is no way to treat a female screw. A few more expletives and out came the newly acquired easy out from Sears. Size one drilled a nice hole in reverse and enlarged the problem. Off went the power screwdriver, in went the ratchet and extensions and size #2 of the "screw out" thing. Nothing, nada, except a lot more sweat, no room to push down, and lots of frustration. Fast forward to 30 more minutes of the same with various implements, no results... Bozo was screwed, quite literally ! The cap looked set to stay on forever!
About to give up, Bozo could not help but curse at his faithful steed and blame her for being a stubborn syphillitic female dog, considering all the hard work and love Bozo had lavished on her since she had become his a couple of months ago. The car did not respond, but it started blowing more air in Bozo's face!!!
Having no more alternatives, Bozo armed himself with THE DRILL, which surprisingly enough fit quite well in there. As he was inches from drilling the offending screw and become faced with an even bigger problem, the Porsche Gods whispered in Bozo's ears: "C'mon, try again, one last time, with the big ***** easy out #3",. That or it was one of the circus dwarves hiding under the car... Ah, what the hell though Bozo, why not... The #3 bit went into the Drill, the drill on the screw, and Bozo pushed down with all his might, thankful he had skipped taco bell at lunch, or the car might not have been alone blowing hot air ! Bzz went the drill, nothing but a bigger hole... He tried again, in what was honestly the LAST attempt. Hmm, more resistance.. careful now, slowwwly now... Could it be ? Had the shiny screw moved ? Bozo dared not stop to confirm so he continued and to his amazement, the shiny piece of crap had indeed come out and was free!!! In joy Bozo stood up but was arrested in his celebratory motion by the engine lid, a reminder from the Porsche gods to not get too cocky !
Would you look at the bastard screw, totally round !!!
Off went the cap, rotor, on went the new, and the connectors which Bozo managed not to mess up ( I sense dissapointment here, gentle reader, have Mercy !!!) . The car was fired up, and wonder of wonders, it ran smoothly, indicating either proper firing order or a very flexible engine management - either way, a success! Not just that, but the car ran twice as smooth, albeit on presumably still crappy plugs !!! The idle shake went from a 10 to 6 with one new cap and down to 3 now, on Bozo's scale of butt-shaking! The #2 cap was just as butt ugly and corroded as the one in Bozo's previous tale. It is beyond this clown's imagination how electric current managed to pass through this and fire the plugs, honestly !
In conclusion:
- If you don't know if this has been done on your car, DO IT! 45K miles is the upper limit !!! See photo in previous thread!
- If all else fails, try #2 or #2 easy out bits on a strong drill (preferably with variable speed and lots of torque)
- ISV, my sweet hairy clown nose. The new caps at 46K miles did 10 times more smoothing of my idle than cleaning the ISV ! ;-) Look there first, but come to the caps second !
Thanks a lot for all the advice guys !
So, it was a bad day in bozoland. Having been defeated by the lower stripped screw of the secondary distributor cap, located under the sensor covered plastic tubing doohickey of unamatrix 5 subdivision 4 of his borg-like 993 engine, Bozo could not concentrate at work. After bugging the gentle readers of The Board for more advice, Bozo came home on 1.5 plugs per cylinder (still a heck of a lot better than before he replaced the top cap) armed with a set of screw removers from Sears and a couple of ideas.
Off went the sensor connectors, off went the plastic doohickey routing air, and the spaghetti factory was visible again. Note to the reader: The sensor connectors are removed by pushing gently on the metal clips wrapped around them. You knew that ? Arumph... Bozo's been prying them off with pliers for 2 months now ! (Cue monkeys slapping their foreheads) Duh !!! Ahem... Anyway, just like anytime the pipe is removed, the engine decides it's too hot and starts pumping air furiously in Bozo's face, since the absence of piping means straight up your clown nose, the automotive equivalent of "I fart in your general direction" for those of you familiar with Monty Python! Great working conditions, as if Florida wasn't hot enough !
2 soaked T-shirts later, Bozo was back to yesterday's situation. He carefully marked the plug connectors on top of the second cap from 1 to 6, and removed them all to get a better view. The screw was in dire straits. First Bozo tried to tighten it some more to break it free, as advised.... That did not work, the screw was already too stripped in both directions to give a damn. A couple of expletives later, Bozo tried the impact driver and some judiciously placed blows, but there was no room to operate either without damage to the fender !!! Plus this is no way to treat a female screw. A few more expletives and out came the newly acquired easy out from Sears. Size one drilled a nice hole in reverse and enlarged the problem. Off went the power screwdriver, in went the ratchet and extensions and size #2 of the "screw out" thing. Nothing, nada, except a lot more sweat, no room to push down, and lots of frustration. Fast forward to 30 more minutes of the same with various implements, no results... Bozo was screwed, quite literally ! The cap looked set to stay on forever!
About to give up, Bozo could not help but curse at his faithful steed and blame her for being a stubborn syphillitic female dog, considering all the hard work and love Bozo had lavished on her since she had become his a couple of months ago. The car did not respond, but it started blowing more air in Bozo's face!!!
Having no more alternatives, Bozo armed himself with THE DRILL, which surprisingly enough fit quite well in there. As he was inches from drilling the offending screw and become faced with an even bigger problem, the Porsche Gods whispered in Bozo's ears: "C'mon, try again, one last time, with the big ***** easy out #3",. That or it was one of the circus dwarves hiding under the car... Ah, what the hell though Bozo, why not... The #3 bit went into the Drill, the drill on the screw, and Bozo pushed down with all his might, thankful he had skipped taco bell at lunch, or the car might not have been alone blowing hot air ! Bzz went the drill, nothing but a bigger hole... He tried again, in what was honestly the LAST attempt. Hmm, more resistance.. careful now, slowwwly now... Could it be ? Had the shiny screw moved ? Bozo dared not stop to confirm so he continued and to his amazement, the shiny piece of crap had indeed come out and was free!!! In joy Bozo stood up but was arrested in his celebratory motion by the engine lid, a reminder from the Porsche gods to not get too cocky !
Would you look at the bastard screw, totally round !!!
Off went the cap, rotor, on went the new, and the connectors which Bozo managed not to mess up ( I sense dissapointment here, gentle reader, have Mercy !!!) . The car was fired up, and wonder of wonders, it ran smoothly, indicating either proper firing order or a very flexible engine management - either way, a success! Not just that, but the car ran twice as smooth, albeit on presumably still crappy plugs !!! The idle shake went from a 10 to 6 with one new cap and down to 3 now, on Bozo's scale of butt-shaking! The #2 cap was just as butt ugly and corroded as the one in Bozo's previous tale. It is beyond this clown's imagination how electric current managed to pass through this and fire the plugs, honestly !
In conclusion:
- If you don't know if this has been done on your car, DO IT! 45K miles is the upper limit !!! See photo in previous thread!
- If all else fails, try #2 or #2 easy out bits on a strong drill (preferably with variable speed and lots of torque)
- ISV, my sweet hairy clown nose. The new caps at 46K miles did 10 times more smoothing of my idle than cleaning the ISV ! ;-) Look there first, but come to the caps second !
Thanks a lot for all the advice guys !
Last edited by Greg D.; 08-16-2003 at 10:53 AM.
08-15-2003, 10:32 PM
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Re: Bozo battles his distributor cap: Part Deux
Originally posted by Greg D. without damage to the fender !!! Plus this is no way to treat a female
and Bozo pushed down with all his might, thankful he had skipped taco bell at lunch, or the car might not have been alone blowing hot air !
[
- [/B]
and Bozo pushed down with all his might, thankful he had skipped taco bell at lunch, or the car might not have been alone blowing hot air !
[
- [/B]
LOL!!! Thats funny!
08-16-2003, 12:16 AM
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From previous thread
Like I said 2 weeks behind... perhaps next would be Bozo's true to life experience with replacing hood struts?
p.s. watch out for that trans breather tube when getting to the "last plug"
PonchoBroke is a good name for a Bozo scout ! So what shall I do next then ? ;-)
p.s. watch out for that trans breather tube when getting to the "last plug"
08-16-2003, 11:00 AM
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I've done the engine lid shocks a long time ago - a prerequisite to doing any work in the engine compartment without getting hit repeatedly over the head by the falling lid ! The front hood shocks, you say, hmm... I read the DIY and you need a special tool and lots of patience apparently, 2 items I do not possess ! I rarely go in there anyway (just did the relays and pollen filters too), so I think I will go for something more mechanical. I don't mind the broom stick when I change my CDs...
All I have left on my "to do" list are spark Plugs, really... After than I'm going to fix and repaint my wheels, and we go into the dark territories of upgrades... I need to price a Turbo bumper w/ clear corners (and possibly brake ducts), lowering springs and possibly new shocks, and if I goofed bad on the wheels maybe 02 996 wheels of some kind. Oh, and decent reclining seats...
Except my wife is starting to cringe as we have a baby coming, I am a mere contractor at the moment (medical coverage only thru her job), and I probably should save money for a crib and diapers ! ;-) I am not complaining mind you, she approved a 993 as a Boxster replacement because it had back seats for a baby - can't have your cake and eat it too ! ;-) Yet...
All I have left on my "to do" list are spark Plugs, really... After than I'm going to fix and repaint my wheels, and we go into the dark territories of upgrades... I need to price a Turbo bumper w/ clear corners (and possibly brake ducts), lowering springs and possibly new shocks, and if I goofed bad on the wheels maybe 02 996 wheels of some kind. Oh, and decent reclining seats...
Except my wife is starting to cringe as we have a baby coming, I am a mere contractor at the moment (medical coverage only thru her job), and I probably should save money for a crib and diapers ! ;-) I am not complaining mind you, she approved a 993 as a Boxster replacement because it had back seats for a baby - can't have your cake and eat it too ! ;-) Yet...
08-16-2003, 11:56 AM
#6
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Greg,
If you're going to do a turbo front bumper with clear corners, then you're probably going to have to spray it to match. That the PERFECT opportunity to get rid of the bumperettes. Then get the LONG euro clear lenses + the S ducts. That's exactly what I did (in the process yet with the S ducts) when I had my front bumper resprayed. Someday... the rears!
Another great DDIY (Don't Do It Yourself) article. When I get back from vacation, I'll do an archive search on "bozo" to be sure I haven't missed any previous great reads!
Good luck with the baby coming. I've got two teens in my house. I'm sure that no god ever intended that parents would live this long.
If you're going to do a turbo front bumper with clear corners, then you're probably going to have to spray it to match. That the PERFECT opportunity to get rid of the bumperettes. Then get the LONG euro clear lenses + the S ducts. That's exactly what I did (in the process yet with the S ducts) when I had my front bumper resprayed. Someday... the rears!
Another great DDIY (Don't Do It Yourself) article. When I get back from vacation, I'll do an archive search on "bozo" to be sure I haven't missed any previous great reads!
Good luck with the baby coming. I've got two teens in my house. I'm sure that no god ever intended that parents would live this long.
08-16-2003, 12:12 PM
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Originally posted by ca993twin
Then get the LONG euro clear lenses + the S ducts. That's exactly what I did (in the process yet with the S ducts) when I had my front bumper resprayed. Someday... the rears!
Then get the LONG euro clear lenses + the S ducts. That's exactly what I did (in the process yet with the S ducts) when I had my front bumper resprayed. Someday... the rears!
Didn't you leave already??
