ShdwFx

Nice recap Mark. Lessons to be learned on both sides and good advice for future transactions.

Domer911

For me the big reminder is that so often when these matters hit the forums, the totality of communications between buyer and seller are rarely reflected. As you suggested, often demanding and threatening messages between parties (usually not shared in the forum threads) set a tone from which it's difficult to recover, or at lease arrive at compromise. Once that kind of emotion is introduced, things are almost certain to head south. Golden rule, boys...golden rule.

Meenrod

As someone who has dealt with this seller and had a similar issue, starting with a nice well reasoned approach leads nowhere- which ends up in the outreach becoming more and more frustrated and demanding. Sometimes the lesson is there are some people just not worth buying things from.

LexVan

Under sell.
Over deliver.

goofballdeluxe

...or pony up and buy new

mooty

"I sold a set of Motons several years ago that the buyer said were leaking (never had them on my car and bought them as spares). I was aghast and immediately offered the buyer a full refund including shipping costs to the buyer and back to me since I felt bad that he was disappointed. I thought I was covering my bases when I used the phrase "could be rebuilt" rather than "should be rebuilt." The difference of a couple of letters was enough for me to feel that I hadn't properly managed the buyer's expectations. I ended up giving the buyer a credit since he really wanted the dampers, so it resulted in him being happy. Frankly, eating the cost of shipping back to me or providing a credit was a small cost to protect my reputation for future sales and interactions."


MARK right on.
I had that happen to me ONCE, on brake calipers
​​​​​​​as soon as buyer contacted me. I PayPal back in less than 5 min. and paid return shipping
not worth my time or rep
and I am not even a shop or professional seller

Sword_of_the_Spirit

Got to read your reply Mark after taking an extended break from RL (8mnths to be exact).
Ill start by saying thanks the help. Good to know moderators take a neutral side and find facts (as best as can) to make for a peaceful forum. What wasn’t said, was conversations on the phone that were pleasant which eventually led to not talking via phone anymore. No one would have record and level of scrutiny not necessary thankfully. However, show me an instance where there isn’t disappointment that’s rightfully stated and alternative means pursued to make whole. As some of you know (whom I’ve transacted with and had Events at various venues), I’m pretty easy going. I’m not one for a BS’r nor do I act like one either. The latter is what I thought would change from my days over at Nasioc and EvoM (the latter is actually the best time on a forum and community I’ve had to date). Only difference now is parts and goods are $1k+ instead of $100+. No change in characters if you will.... Oh well...live and learn which brings me to my next point/advice. Ask the questions and by golly pay for it with AMEX and a reputable third party like PayPal. Those two are self explanatory. However, you can pm for more information on covering your tail.

best

Mark in Baltimore

Thanks for your post. I always do my best to be as objective as possible in everything I do. I did what I could to understand both sides so there's no impression of impartiality or false judgment.

I'm sorry you had issues with this seller. I was running a search for some parts and ran across this FS thread from jeanhules: https://rennlist.com/forums/market/1...highlight=vram Sadly, it appears that his sales have a propensity to require conflict resolution.

Mark in Baltimore

UPDATE:

It appears that jeanhules re-registered with a new user name, assman. Registering under a new user name is an automatic ban, so both jeanhules and assman have lost posting privileges.

This thread will be unstuck since both users have been removed.

Just a gentle yet obvious suggestion, but perhaps a better approach for a long term presence here is to be honest and forthright in order to prevent sales issues.

notabot

What a waste of a good username!

Paolo1

Was it Kramer from Seinfeld ??

nothingbutgt3

I will never end saying thank you to you Mark for giving me good advices and for being present, while dealing with that person.
I really appreciate the fact in this place if someone behaves badly, the community openly can point it out, without fearing of being judged to be judgemental or umpolite or not politically correct.

Thank you.

Mark in Baltimore

Paolo, thank you. John D. (founder of this board), 911SLOW and I want the Rennlist tradition of a trustworthy community to continue enduring. While we cannot prevent every hustler from coming onto this forum and doing damage, I can tell you that I am particularly motivated to eradicate charlatans who have a long distance relationship with honesty.