Santa came and now I'm in big trouble...
12-18-2005, 11:39 PM
#17
Rennlist Member
Originally Posted by bigs
Greedy Little Vagina?
Edit: Dang. So close.
Edit: Dang. So close.
2nd - she is the girlfriend, not the wife. You DEFINITELY don't want to get into the mode where you are sheepish about making purchases for yourself if you aren't even married, regardless of what they are. Go pick her up in the 928, and if she gives you any beef about it I would say you have a pretty good indicator of what a future wife she would be!
Bill has a piece of valuable insight here.
Rod
12-19-2005, 08:47 AM
#19
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John,
In these sort of situations, I like to look at things from the other person's point of view.
Imagine that, against your own wishes, you didn't buy the car. You impress her as the sort of guy who makes "mature decisions" (read "decisions of which she approves") with your money. Maybe she thinks she's "improved" you. You stay together.
At some point you get tired of the charade of always doing what she wants you to do when sometimes you really want to do something different -- it's not who you are, and never will be. You decide you've been fighting your nature for too long, and you explode. You go on a 928 spending spree with the kids' college money (maybe you go a bit too far, but that's understandable at this point). Screaming follows, and thrown crockery, and divorce.
Is that a kind thing to do to her? Isn't it better to let her see now just who you really are? You aren't going to change and be happy, and if she can't live with the real you and be happy it'd be better to find out now.
In these sort of situations, I like to look at things from the other person's point of view.
Imagine that, against your own wishes, you didn't buy the car. You impress her as the sort of guy who makes "mature decisions" (read "decisions of which she approves") with your money. Maybe she thinks she's "improved" you. You stay together.
At some point you get tired of the charade of always doing what she wants you to do when sometimes you really want to do something different -- it's not who you are, and never will be. You decide you've been fighting your nature for too long, and you explode. You go on a 928 spending spree with the kids' college money (maybe you go a bit too far, but that's understandable at this point). Screaming follows, and thrown crockery, and divorce.
Is that a kind thing to do to her? Isn't it better to let her see now just who you really are? You aren't going to change and be happy, and if she can't live with the real you and be happy it'd be better to find out now.
12-19-2005, 10:16 AM
#20
Supercharged
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John, I already voiced my opinion on this, but Mark's response makes me pause and reflect on my own situation.
I had already been married for 5+ years with my first kid, when my dad gifted me his 66 Jag E-type. It was a sweet car, but never my dream car. One day, at the local jag club meeting, I met a guy named Don who had a 928 and was looking to sell it. I bought it. Money wasn't too tight at the time, so the wife was tolerant of my indulgance, but said I needed to sell the Jag - but secretly, I wanted to keep both. I capitulated, and have subsequently kept just one "fun" car. Point of this lesson is get the cars before the marriage, then there is no question of what she's getting into. My saving grace was that my dad had gifted me the car... how could my wife say no? If I had tried to buy it outright, I think her reaction would have been either no deal or divorce.
To keep me and my wife from accusing each other of spending the kids' college money or our retirement, we have set up our own individual accounts. Each month we both get about $500 into this account to do with as we please, and the other person cannot complain (unless it's on crack & hookers - she goes off on these benders occasionally
). It has helped our marriage significantly. But I agree with the rest of the community in that if it's your money, then she has no ground to stand on to complain. Once it becomes both your money, then whether you like it or not, she has equal footing. Just keep this in mind. (Oh yeah, if you decide to set up these individual accounts, let me know - I am the master at supplementing the monthly stipend! 
)
I guess the point is, while you're single, do what you want and don't look back. If she can't handle it, then she's not the right woman for you. If she approves and you get a little road head out of the deal, then keep her and enjoy every minute together. On the other hand, if you find yourself having to ask for permission to do this or that, well...
Let me put it to you one other way. At the recent Frenzy, the wife of a 928 rennlister was clear on the other side of the parking lot. She called to her husband, asking him to come to her. She then promptly started running to him. He never moved - to which another rennlister remarked, "Now, there's a sign of a good woman..."
I had already been married for 5+ years with my first kid, when my dad gifted me his 66 Jag E-type. It was a sweet car, but never my dream car. One day, at the local jag club meeting, I met a guy named Don who had a 928 and was looking to sell it. I bought it. Money wasn't too tight at the time, so the wife was tolerant of my indulgance, but said I needed to sell the Jag - but secretly, I wanted to keep both. I capitulated, and have subsequently kept just one "fun" car. Point of this lesson is get the cars before the marriage, then there is no question of what she's getting into. My saving grace was that my dad had gifted me the car... how could my wife say no? If I had tried to buy it outright, I think her reaction would have been either no deal or divorce.
To keep me and my wife from accusing each other of spending the kids' college money or our retirement, we have set up our own individual accounts. Each month we both get about $500 into this account to do with as we please, and the other person cannot complain (unless it's on crack & hookers - she goes off on these benders occasionally
). It has helped our marriage significantly. But I agree with the rest of the community in that if it's your money, then she has no ground to stand on to complain. Once it becomes both your money, then whether you like it or not, she has equal footing. Just keep this in mind. (Oh yeah, if you decide to set up these individual accounts, let me know - I am the master at supplementing the monthly stipend! )I guess the point is, while you're single, do what you want and don't look back. If she can't handle it, then she's not the right woman for you. If she approves and you get a little road head out of the deal, then keep her and enjoy every minute together. On the other hand, if you find yourself having to ask for permission to do this or that, well...
Let me put it to you one other way. At the recent Frenzy, the wife of a 928 rennlister was clear on the other side of the parking lot. She called to her husband, asking him to come to her. She then promptly started running to him. He never moved - to which another rennlister remarked, "Now, there's a sign of a good woman..."
12-19-2005, 12:46 PM
#23
Rennlist Member
Boy This turned into a Dear Abby. You sort of loaded it by asking what sounds like a fairly fraught question of a biased jury. There's other stuffy going on here: why did GF not buy you anything last year?? My wife could care less about cars, but knows that this is my only hobby and I need the time to myself, she is very understanding up to a point; it's a two-way street. One has to keep things in perspective; GF sound high maintenance, but then a 928 can be too 
; it sounds like a chilly holiday coming up depending on what other gifts are involved 
; it sounds like a chilly holiday coming up depending on what other gifts are involved
12-19-2005, 12:49 PM
#24
Three Wheelin'
Dating/girlfriend - No say
Fiance - Can voice an opinion, should be consulted b4 purchase if funds are earmarked for future joint ventures
Wife - It's all hers anyway, sneak, lie, manipulate (essentially utilize the inate female tactics learned through dating)
Also be sure to purchase the things you want b4 marraige. Alot easier to retain them after the divorce.
And in the event the relationship does not end in divorce she won't be upset if you sell one to buy another. Hence all my toys were purchased before she got her ring. But then again, I have a wife that would sell her ring to buy me another Porsche!
Fiance - Can voice an opinion, should be consulted b4 purchase if funds are earmarked for future joint ventures
Wife - It's all hers anyway, sneak, lie, manipulate (essentially utilize the inate female tactics learned through dating)
Also be sure to purchase the things you want b4 marraige. Alot easier to retain them after the divorce.
And in the event the relationship does not end in divorce she won't be upset if you sell one to buy another. Hence all my toys were purchased before she got her ring. But then again, I have a wife that would sell her ring to buy me another Porsche!
12-19-2005, 01:34 PM
#27
Drifting
Hey John!
I still have the wedding ring I purchased for my ex-fiance, used the money I was saving for the main stone to move out of the house we purchased (the little darling still owes me about $20k! Think I'll ever see a penny of it?) Lessons learned, if I could sell it for 50% of what I paid for it I'd do it in a second. No-one wants pre-bought jewelry even though it's never been sized or worn and I'd rather smash it up and throw it away than take 10% on it. Bitter? Nah, not me...
I still have the wedding ring I purchased for my ex-fiance, used the money I was saving for the main stone to move out of the house we purchased (the little darling still owes me about $20k! Think I'll ever see a penny of it?) Lessons learned, if I could sell it for 50% of what I paid for it I'd do it in a second. No-one wants pre-bought jewelry even though it's never been sized or worn and I'd rather smash it up and throw it away than take 10% on it. Bitter? Nah, not me...
12-19-2005, 01:41 PM
#28
Man of many SIGs
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It seems that everyone here is pretty much in agreement. The only thing I will add is that I would pick her up in the shark and toss her the keys so she can drive it home. Maybe that will help her see why you enjoy it so much. Good luck.
12-19-2005, 03:54 PM
#30
Three Wheelin'
Originally Posted by Sterling
I would look at this situation very seriously...... with allot of thought. My last girlfriend hated my 928. If I spent a day in the garage she treated me like I cheated on her.... bottom line was that she didn't understand what made me happy, and a life with her would have be fraught with angst. (it took me a while to figure that out) The woman I'm now seeing loves the car and is a car nut herself (& a 4 time national champ formula ford racer) She understands that my 928 is not just another car, and even appreciates it..... life is much easier....
J/K
Anybody realize that if John were a woman , the thread title could have a whole new meaning?