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Did i stumble onto the "996 self destruct button"?

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Old 10-04-2016, 11:56 PM
  #16  
Gonzo911
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Originally Posted by rattlsnak
lets go for 17 pages...
All righty then...who the hell drives around town with their spoiler up when they are cruising at 30MPH? God forbid the car gets squirrelly at that speed.

That switch should only be used for washing/detailing....or not at all...
Old 10-05-2016, 12:21 AM
  #17  
Cuda911
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Originally Posted by jhbrennan
Come on man - open your owner's manual -
Now, why should he waste his time doing that when he can just ask here?

By the way, ignore those that would have you believe it's a spoiler switch. Lots of jokers here. DON'T push that button!
Old 10-05-2016, 01:03 AM
  #18  
FRUNKenstein
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Push it and it opens a secret cubby to hold your cell phone.
Old 10-05-2016, 01:16 AM
  #19  
gnat
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Originally Posted by kcattorney
Push it and it opens a secret cubby to hold your cell phone.
Finally we have the answer to the ultimate question!
Old 10-05-2016, 10:26 AM
  #20  
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Possible responses to pushing that button:
1. Starts the song by Salt'N'Pepper - "Push it"
2. The equivalent of Siri voices - "Drive Beeotch!"
3. Passenger side prank fart noises
4. Engages noise cancellation in case of nagging wife syndrome.
5. Turns off the AirBag light accompanied by snicker and whisper, "It's been there all the time!"
6. Reveals a Becker radio code that doesn't work.
7. Floods interior with loud white noise to drown out ticking, knocking, and rattling engine noises.
8. Porsche equivalent to OnStar, but redirects all calls to Flat6 Innovations
9. Illuminates *middle finger* graphic to ricers or other teenage Kia drivers that want to race.
10. Begins English lectures by Professor 5CH3LL
11. It starts a Camp fire song, "If you're fast and ya know it, clap your hands..."
12. reclines the passenger seat, sprays women's pheromones in the air, and connects you with Bill Cosby for step by step instructions.
13. transforms the entire car into a big mirror when targeted by Photo Radar speed cameras.
14. Causes KK to jump out of the frunk naked like in the movie Hangover
15. Causes Guards Red 996 Turbos to melt within a 30 mile radius when driving though Kansas City
Old 10-05-2016, 10:50 AM
  #21  
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"This is not the button you are looking for."......................................
Old 10-05-2016, 11:20 AM
  #22  
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"Button.....We don't need no stinking button"
Old 10-05-2016, 12:19 PM
  #23  
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Old 10-05-2016, 12:24 PM
  #24  
5CHN3LL
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Hey, whitest guy on the planet: It's Salt-n-Pepa.

Originally Posted by b3freak
Possible responses to pushing that button:
1. Starts the song by Salt'N'Pepper - "Push it"
Must be some of that "funky monkey" music your kid listens to.
Old 10-05-2016, 12:51 PM
  #25  
ZuffenZeus
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Originally Posted by 5CHN3LL
Hey, whitest guy on the planet: It's Salt-n-Pepa.
Hey Professor... I think they're all *pepper* if you wanna know the truth. ha!

Originally Posted by 5CHN3LL
Must be some of that "funky monkey" music your kid listens to.
Naw, they think most of the 80s music is a joke with the exception of "Ice Ice Baby".
Old 10-05-2016, 01:45 PM
  #26  
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Originally Posted by 5CHN3LL
Hey, whitest guy on the planet: It's Salt-n-Pepa.
Oh man, tell me you guys covered that song. Obviously you were "Salt", was the guy on the far left "Pepa"?



(Even if you didn't, just lie and say you did - makes for a better story)
Old 10-05-2016, 01:47 PM
  #27  
5CHN3LL
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Hang on, newer old band pic coming.

We dumped the tall guy. He was emotional. Like, more than necessary.
Old 10-05-2016, 01:51 PM
  #28  
5CHN3LL
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From left to right: Boogie, Choda, AK, me (The Devil), and Tuner.

The watch is often mistaken for a fifty-four-year-old non-date Rolex Oyster Perpetual from the Caracas store of Serpico Y Laino, but it was in fact a Timex.

Old 10-05-2016, 01:55 PM
  #29  
5CHN3LL
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Nothing sets off a luxurious mullet better than a white nehru jacket.

Old 10-05-2016, 02:07 PM
  #30  
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Originally Posted by b3freak
Possible responses to pushing that button:
1. Starts the song by Salt'N'Pepper - "Push it"
2. The equivalent of Siri voices - "Drive Beeotch!"
3. Passenger side prank fart noises
4. Engages noise cancellation in case of nagging wife syndrome.
5. Turns off the AirBag light accompanied by snicker and whisper, "It's been there all the time!"
6. Reveals a Becker radio code that doesn't work.
7. Floods interior with loud white noise to drown out ticking, knocking, and rattling engine noises.
8. Porsche equivalent to OnStar, but redirects all calls to Flat6 Innovations
9. Illuminates *middle finger* graphic to ricers or other teenage Kia drivers that want to race.
10. Begins English lectures by Professor 5CH3LL
11. It starts a Camp fire song, "If you're fast and ya know it, clap your hands..."
12. reclines the passenger seat, sprays women's pheromones in the air, and connects you with Bill Cosby for step by step instructions.
13. transforms the entire car into a big mirror when targeted by Photo Radar speed cameras.
14. Causes KK to jump out of the frunk naked like in the movie Hangover
15. Causes Guards Red 996 Turbos to melt within a 30 mile radius when driving though Kansas City
This is gold. You are a funny guy, and have a lot of time on your hands, apparently.



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