Divorce lawyer - group buy
01-03-2007 | 07:07 PM
#46
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From: Philly Burbs
Get her involved in DE program, yes, you will have to let her DROVE yer car. Seriously, my wife started DE's 3 years ago and worked her way up to Black group and enjoys the program along with the gals who attend the track. It would be highly likely your wife would enjoy it, especially if you have a track buddy with a wife who drives. Instructing and club racing becomes an okay, because she will better understand/respect the program. One caveat, she become very competitive and want to be faster than you................
01-03-2007 | 07:43 PM
#47
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From: Austin TX
Originally Posted by 924RACR
Can't you get her out for a pace lap, checkered flag lap, or such?
01-03-2007 | 07:50 PM
#48
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From: New Jersey
Originally Posted by 1957 356
Sounds like you could probably take better advantage of this situation. I sense there might be some appreciation asymmetry at work here.
(Psst, btw, whose side are you on?
)
01-03-2007 | 08:34 PM
#49
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From: New Jersey
Originally Posted by Food Angel
Exactly. If you want to stay married, you need to lie. 
No no no....If you want to stay married, I suggest the following.
DRAG her to a DE/Autocross and make her drive. Tell her that it doesn't matter if she goes slowly. Tell her it would be okay if she wrecks the car. Say it like you mean it, and reassure her again when she asks you the 8 gazzilion times between the moment you sign her up and when she finally gets on the track. While at the event, have her take rides with lots of people. Get her rides in 914s and 951s and 911s and race cars (sorry, I didn't mention 928s, but if you see some of those, why not...). Get her rides with the best drivers that you know, especially with a woman (in a car...the other fantasy you'll have to work out on your own).
Once she gets a sense of what this is all about (physics, speed, adrenaleine, competition if it's an autocross), THEN she'll have a much greater understanding about the sport and why you love it.
Seriously--make the trek to Road America. They have a race/DE weekend. You can race, she can DE and you can stay at the Osthoff, which is a beautiful hotel only 10 minutes from the track. IT IS WORTH IT. The track is beautiful, the hotel could not be any more convenient, and the people out there are pretty friendly!
Find the other couples hanging out at the track. Have your wife strike up conversations with the other track chicks. Get her a Rennlist membership so she can make some friendships and look forward to seeing folks at various places.
See if you can't get her bitten by the bug, too. If she flatspots the tires, explain why it happened but don't get mad. If she wears out the brakes, tell her more gas, but don't get mad. Taking them to an event just so they can watch is pretty boring, so you really have to encourage her to get in the driver seat and just do it. Make it fun. You'll reap the benefits in the end. You may find that you have a pit crew, travel agent, and cook with you at your events.
No no no....If you want to stay married, I suggest the following.
DRAG her to a DE/Autocross and make her drive. Tell her that it doesn't matter if she goes slowly. Tell her it would be okay if she wrecks the car. Say it like you mean it, and reassure her again when she asks you the 8 gazzilion times between the moment you sign her up and when she finally gets on the track. While at the event, have her take rides with lots of people. Get her rides in 914s and 951s and 911s and race cars (sorry, I didn't mention 928s, but if you see some of those, why not...). Get her rides with the best drivers that you know, especially with a woman (in a car...the other fantasy you'll have to work out on your own).
Once she gets a sense of what this is all about (physics, speed, adrenaleine, competition if it's an autocross), THEN she'll have a much greater understanding about the sport and why you love it.
Seriously--make the trek to Road America. They have a race/DE weekend. You can race, she can DE and you can stay at the Osthoff, which is a beautiful hotel only 10 minutes from the track. IT IS WORTH IT. The track is beautiful, the hotel could not be any more convenient, and the people out there are pretty friendly!
Find the other couples hanging out at the track. Have your wife strike up conversations with the other track chicks. Get her a Rennlist membership so she can make some friendships and look forward to seeing folks at various places.
See if you can't get her bitten by the bug, too. If she flatspots the tires, explain why it happened but don't get mad. If she wears out the brakes, tell her more gas, but don't get mad. Taking them to an event just so they can watch is pretty boring, so you really have to encourage her to get in the driver seat and just do it. Make it fun. You'll reap the benefits in the end. You may find that you have a pit crew, travel agent, and cook with you at your events.
01-03-2007 | 08:39 PM
#50
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From: La Jolla, CA
I first wanted a 993 in 1997 after being Porscheless since 1987. I was married and had one kid with another on the way in 1997 and my wife said no way. I had a golf habit as well (which is nothing compared to a track habit) at the time. She said no. I moped around the house for a few months until one day she said, "if you really want the 993 then go buy it."
I must have worn her down over the months of moping but I could not believe my ears! I did not waste any time and got down there to finish the deal I started two months ago. Little did she know I was staying in contact with the dealer during the two months in hopes I would finally get her approval. So I struck the deal and brought the car home. What a great day!
Upon arrival and the for the rest of the day my wife stops talking to me and she is openly angry. I ask many times what the issue is and she says nothing. After many hours with the time now late at night she finally gives up the issue. She says, "I can't believe you bought the car.". I said, "Well, you said I could buy it so I did.". She says, "I thought I would tell you ok because I thought you would never go buy it.". No there is some real logic which goes with one of the earlier statement, there is no logic.
It is now ten years later, the car is no longer a street car and is fully race ready. I do not play golf any longer so I can race. I bought a Motor Coach so the wife and kids can comfortably attend the events and we can spend time together, and still, to this day, she brings up the fact that I bought the Porsche she said I could buy
I must have worn her down over the months of moping but I could not believe my ears! I did not waste any time and got down there to finish the deal I started two months ago. Little did she know I was staying in contact with the dealer during the two months in hopes I would finally get her approval. So I struck the deal and brought the car home. What a great day!
Upon arrival and the for the rest of the day my wife stops talking to me and she is openly angry. I ask many times what the issue is and she says nothing. After many hours with the time now late at night she finally gives up the issue. She says, "I can't believe you bought the car.". I said, "Well, you said I could buy it so I did.". She says, "I thought I would tell you ok because I thought you would never go buy it.". No there is some real logic which goes with one of the earlier statement, there is no logic.
It is now ten years later, the car is no longer a street car and is fully race ready. I do not play golf any longer so I can race. I bought a Motor Coach so the wife and kids can comfortably attend the events and we can spend time together, and still, to this day, she brings up the fact that I bought the Porsche she said I could buy
01-03-2007 | 08:40 PM
#51
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From: Joisey. Fuhgeddaboutit.
Originally Posted by Bull
Alas, one size doesn't fit all. If I were looking for a divorce, the above is exactly what i would follow!
01-03-2007 | 09:06 PM
#52
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From: Philly Burbs
Originally Posted by Greg Fishman
I did that. Not even to the first corner and I had a car issue and had to be towed in (first and only time in that car). Fixed the problem (spark plug worked its way loose) and took her out again. This was VIR full course. I took a lap at about 6/10ths and she pointed to the pits. I had to help her out as her legs were shaking so badly. She never ever got in the car again. Sort of killed the thought of us doing DE's, much less racing together.
I tried this at the Nurburgring two years ago and she almost had a heart attack.
Since then, I have stayed out of my wife's car until she asked. Even after asking for a ride at the Glen this year she rode shotgun with her eyes closed for the first two laps going flat out T2 to the bus stop and same on the outer loop (thanks to Colin). When she calmed down, I coached her to a faster lap, but no way would I take her for even a moderate lap without her first driving at her pace and "in control" of the wheel.
01-03-2007 | 09:09 PM
#53
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From: VA & NC
What a great thread!
A bit of history, when I met my soon to be wife I was involved in international sailboat racing and gone virtually every weekend as well as several weeks a year. I let it be known that that was non negotiable and she signed on.
Well we moved inland, started a company, had kids and started getting the itch for something more exciting so I got into DE's.
Started hearing some "noise" about time away from home
and brought up the sailing analogy. Now her only comment is when is she going to get a chance to drive the race car on the track (soon honey, soon)... 
A bit of history, when I met my soon to be wife I was involved in international sailboat racing and gone virtually every weekend as well as several weeks a year. I let it be known that that was non negotiable and she signed on.
Well we moved inland, started a company, had kids and started getting the itch for something more exciting so I got into DE's.
Started hearing some "noise" about time away from home
and brought up the sailing analogy. Now her only comment is when is she going to get a chance to drive the race car on the track (soon honey, soon)...
01-03-2007 | 09:30 PM
#55
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From: Austin TX
Originally Posted by bobt993
THE LAST WAY TO GET HER INVOLVED!!!
I tried this at the Nurburgring two years ago and she almost had a heart attack.
Since then, I have stayed out of my wife's car until she asked. Even after asking for a ride at the Glen this year she rode shotgun with her eyes closed for the first two laps going flat out T2 to the bus stop and same on the outer loop (thanks to Colin). When she calmed down, I coached her to a faster lap, but no way would I take her for even a moderate lap without her first driving at her pace and "in control" of the wheel.
I tried this at the Nurburgring two years ago and she almost had a heart attack.
Since then, I have stayed out of my wife's car until she asked. Even after asking for a ride at the Glen this year she rode shotgun with her eyes closed for the first two laps going flat out T2 to the bus stop and same on the outer loop (thanks to Colin). When she calmed down, I coached her to a faster lap, but no way would I take her for even a moderate lap without her first driving at her pace and "in control" of the wheel.
The only other time for her on track was parade laps at Road Atlanta. Turn 12 was bad enough at 50mph in a SUV. She had no interest in riding in a race car at twice that speed.
01-03-2007 | 09:31 PM
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From: Joisey. Fuhgeddaboutit.
One more note from the woman's perspective, and then I'll leave you fella's alone:
When dragging her to an event to drive, do not be her instructor, nor should she ride with you. See if you can get her a great instructor for newbies, get her rides with the smoothest folks around, but DON'T try to DIY this time.
If she's driving, you will want to tell her what she's doing wrong and she's likely to respond defensively with something like, "I don't really want to do this ANYWAY so would you just please shut the f' up!!!" An unknown instructor however, is used to massaging the egos of folks she or he has never met before. There are some who have fantastic skills at encouraging the new driver, and easing them into the whole experience without expecting bursts of enthusiasm at every corner. This is what a reticent participant needs.
She will hate riding with you because it doesn't matter how smooth you are or how fast you are or how much of a stud you are when driving. When you're both in the car she will think that the whole thing is reckless and terrifying. If you're driving, she will feel sick and hate every moment. In someone else's hands, the experience can be exhilarating.
Also, evenings for wives/girlfriends need to be carefully managed at first. You may want to talk about a great pass or how you caressed the throttle in a certain corner to hang on or the benefits of trail braking. If she has spent the whole day giving point bys, she is likely to give you a different finger if you expect too much enthusiasm. Go get some wine or beers with folks, and a nice dinner, and then go make the most of your hotel. Off-track driving is fun, too.
When dragging her to an event to drive, do not be her instructor, nor should she ride with you. See if you can get her a great instructor for newbies, get her rides with the smoothest folks around, but DON'T try to DIY this time.
If she's driving, you will want to tell her what she's doing wrong and she's likely to respond defensively with something like, "I don't really want to do this ANYWAY so would you just please shut the f' up!!!" An unknown instructor however, is used to massaging the egos of folks she or he has never met before. There are some who have fantastic skills at encouraging the new driver, and easing them into the whole experience without expecting bursts of enthusiasm at every corner. This is what a reticent participant needs.
She will hate riding with you because it doesn't matter how smooth you are or how fast you are or how much of a stud you are when driving. When you're both in the car she will think that the whole thing is reckless and terrifying. If you're driving, she will feel sick and hate every moment. In someone else's hands, the experience can be exhilarating.
Also, evenings for wives/girlfriends need to be carefully managed at first. You may want to talk about a great pass or how you caressed the throttle in a certain corner to hang on or the benefits of trail braking. If she has spent the whole day giving point bys, she is likely to give you a different finger if you expect too much enthusiasm. Go get some wine or beers with folks, and a nice dinner, and then go make the most of your hotel. Off-track driving is fun, too.
01-03-2007 | 09:40 PM
#57
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From: New Jersey
Originally Posted by Food Angel
In fairness....you're right. One size does not fit all. Know thyself and know thy wife, as you do.
01-03-2007 | 11:11 PM
#59
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From: Parkland, FL
I'm a little late to this, but like I say - it is better than an alternative passion (another woman) ==> Actually, I have a very understanding wife and she was the one that made up the saying and is supportive (most of the time) of my habit.
Everyone needs to find their own way to explain it and sell it. It didn't help that I had the car before I met her.
Everyone needs to find their own way to explain it and sell it. It didn't help that I had the car before I met her.
01-03-2007 | 11:36 PM
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From: NorCal
Although my wife likes cars about as much as I like knitting, but she wouldn't ask me to give up DE in fear I may go back to the last sport she asked me to quit. Skydiving. So, if your wife starts mentioning that you should stop going to the track, just leave a pamphlet from the local skydiving school on the table.