Turtle wisdom
08-12-2008, 10:58 AM
#1
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Turtle wisdom
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind
my asking, but how old do you think I am?' 'About 32,' is the reply.' 'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.' Now she's feeling really good
about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks
the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.' Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an older man, our teammate Bull, waiting next to her the same question. He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and
my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you
are.' They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell,
go ahead.' Bull slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and
weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and Bull says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'
'I was behind you at McDonalds.'
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind
my asking, but how old do you think I am?' 'About 32,' is the reply.' 'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.' Now she's feeling really good
about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks
the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.' Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an older man, our teammate Bull, waiting next to her the same question. He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and
my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you
are.' They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell,
go ahead.' Bull slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and
weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and Bull says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'
'I was behind you at McDonalds.'
08-12-2008, 11:15 AM
#3
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78?
I wouldn't have pegged Bull at a day over 72...
I wouldn't have pegged Bull at a day over 72...
08-12-2008, 11:28 AM
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You're really 92? Wow, impressive!
08-12-2008, 01:23 PM
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