Happy hour in Alabama
02-29-2008 | 08:10 PM
#1
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Happy hour in Alabama
A redneck is driving down a back road in Alabama. A sign in front of a restaurant reads:
HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL: Lobster Tail and Beer
"Lord almighty" he says to himself, "my three favorite things!"
HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL: Lobster Tail and Beer
"Lord almighty" he says to himself, "my three favorite things!"
02-29-2008 | 08:52 PM
#3
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OK...I have to contribute...
A young guy from Alabama and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"
"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
A young guy from Alabama and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"
"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
03-01-2008 | 11:39 AM
#5
I know my application is still under review - or whatever, but I have to jump in.
Same redneck, driving down the road in Alabama, drinking a longneck Bud. He comes over a rise and sees a sobriety check point ahead.
Quickly, he peels the label off his beer and sticks it to his forehead.
At the checkpoint, an officer walks up, gives him an odd look and asks if he's been drinking.
The redneck replies, "no Sir," points at his head and says "I'm on the patch!"
Same redneck, driving down the road in Alabama, drinking a longneck Bud. He comes over a rise and sees a sobriety check point ahead.
Quickly, he peels the label off his beer and sticks it to his forehead.
At the checkpoint, an officer walks up, gives him an odd look and asks if he's been drinking.
The redneck replies, "no Sir," points at his head and says "I'm on the patch!"
03-01-2008 | 12:29 PM
#6
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From: At the track. I reside, however, in Navarre, FL.
Wow, this must be pick on Alabama day or something. So okay, I'll chip one in, though you may have already heard it. What do you call 26 Alabamans standing around in a circle? A full set of teeth. Bwahahaha. I know, it's bad. Oh well. 
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03-03-2008 | 08:30 PM
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03-03-2008 | 08:31 PM
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Be careful guys . . . remember the BT can be sensitive to certain subjects. Based on his past discussions, I would gather that he wouldn't like incest either. That said, good one Jerry, Adrienne. I betcha thought I was gonna get all serious on you, huh?
03-03-2008 | 08:36 PM
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The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?"
The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish
whiskey, too.
The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very slow. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti.
He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar.
The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.
The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?"
The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too.
As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.
Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"
The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?"
The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish
whiskey, too.
The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very slow. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti.
He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar.
The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.
The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?"
The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too.
As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.
Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"