Why I will never be a member of HWFMR
11-14-2007, 11:24 PM
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Why I will never be a member of HWFMR
Don't be alarmed. It's not what you think. It's not that I don't want to be a member........I desperately do! It's just that I don't have what it takes. Here's a short list of my, um, shortcomings:
1) I don't have any videos of me racing. I destroy each and every one of them. Immediately! There's no shame in that, is there? I mean, why do I want to broadcast my track inadequacies to everyone. Oh yeah, I bet everyone would love to see me pointing someone by during a club race. Yeah. Real funny. But I thought I was being lapped and I made damn sure that I knew what Jim Buckley's car looked like on the grid so I could move over when he filled my mirror. How did I know he was just coming out of the black flag station and was a lap down. Excuse me!
2) I have a fragile ego. I hate to lose. At anything. Just ask my 6 year old daughter after I absolutley kick her *** at Sorry! I mean, come on, she doesn't understand the rules. How does she really know if I cheated or not. And even if she thinks I cheated, I'll just tell her that "this is how adults play the game, and don't you really want to be a big girl?" This quick witted manipulation of the younger mind really makes me feel good about myself.
3) I want to be fast. The fact that I am slow absolutely pisses me off! Hell I know it's not me.......it's the car. But still, three cars in a row. I mean can't a guy get a friggin' break. I've been passed by the best of them, and still I can't seem to incorporate their line into my driving style. I must be unique.
4) I don't have a signature drink. I see that some like Martini's and some Scotch and others maybe a beer or two. But me.........who the hell knows. I'm kind of fond of Mojito's, but that's like saying that I like to run around in pink fluffy slippers wearing a powder blue leisure suit yelling "I'm so pretty. Oh so pretty." (appologies VR, I didn't mean to offend)
5) I don't really have a good sense of humor. I'm actually a pretty demented wise ***. I laugh at things others wouldn't, probably because their maturity level is wayyyyyy above mine. Like, if someone falls down stairs and like, breaks their arm. If I was watching and they made a funny face, I would absolutely crack up. Oh yeah, I would help them, but I'd make damn sure I was done laughing first. I mean I actually find this funny:
So you see, I'll never be a member of HWFMR. Hell, I can't believe that I even had the energy to type this blabber. Whew! I'm worn out. I'll just be content to lurk in the shadows of the HWFMR forum randomly posting wise *** cracks about people for my own juvenile amusement.
But don't feel sorry for me, 'cause like my wife always says: "I bet it's always sunny and that your actually good looking in your world." Yep. Please don't flame me as my very light irish skin burns easy. Ciao!
1) I don't have any videos of me racing. I destroy each and every one of them. Immediately! There's no shame in that, is there? I mean, why do I want to broadcast my track inadequacies to everyone. Oh yeah, I bet everyone would love to see me pointing someone by during a club race. Yeah. Real funny. But I thought I was being lapped and I made damn sure that I knew what Jim Buckley's car looked like on the grid so I could move over when he filled my mirror. How did I know he was just coming out of the black flag station and was a lap down. Excuse me!
2) I have a fragile ego. I hate to lose. At anything. Just ask my 6 year old daughter after I absolutley kick her *** at Sorry! I mean, come on, she doesn't understand the rules. How does she really know if I cheated or not. And even if she thinks I cheated, I'll just tell her that "this is how adults play the game, and don't you really want to be a big girl?" This quick witted manipulation of the younger mind really makes me feel good about myself.
3) I want to be fast. The fact that I am slow absolutely pisses me off! Hell I know it's not me.......it's the car. But still, three cars in a row. I mean can't a guy get a friggin' break. I've been passed by the best of them, and still I can't seem to incorporate their line into my driving style. I must be unique.
4) I don't have a signature drink. I see that some like Martini's and some Scotch and others maybe a beer or two. But me.........who the hell knows. I'm kind of fond of Mojito's, but that's like saying that I like to run around in pink fluffy slippers wearing a powder blue leisure suit yelling "I'm so pretty. Oh so pretty." (appologies VR, I didn't mean to offend)
5) I don't really have a good sense of humor. I'm actually a pretty demented wise ***. I laugh at things others wouldn't, probably because their maturity level is wayyyyyy above mine. Like, if someone falls down stairs and like, breaks their arm. If I was watching and they made a funny face, I would absolutely crack up. Oh yeah, I would help them, but I'd make damn sure I was done laughing first. I mean I actually find this funny:
So you see, I'll never be a member of HWFMR. Hell, I can't believe that I even had the energy to type this blabber. Whew! I'm worn out. I'll just be content to lurk in the shadows of the HWFMR forum randomly posting wise *** cracks about people for my own juvenile amusement.
But don't feel sorry for me, 'cause like my wife always says: "I bet it's always sunny and that your actually good looking in your world." Yep. Please don't flame me as my very light irish skin burns easy. Ciao!
11-15-2007, 08:50 AM
#6
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Santa faked his own death in order to get all the crumb gobblers of the World to leave him alone. Some of us started to suspect his death was staged as we know that you can't possibly kill yourself in an Alfa...they never run that well. Of course, you could do some minor damage by slipping in one of the oil slicks they leave everywhere. Anyway, he was sighted several times this past summer while he was with the Easter Bunny in New Zealand, as usual.
11-15-2007, 09:03 AM
#7
The Penguin King
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Issue #1 is a problem, but does not need to be a deal killer. More verbage relating to ineptitude could take care of that. Items 2 & 3 mean your almost like the rest of us, just willing to admit what we won't. Issue 4... last night I had two guiness stouts, a shiner bock, a martini, one macallen 18, and one macallen (spelling) 25. Issue #5... Are you actually VR?
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11-15-2007, 10:21 AM
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As clarification for issue #1. I qualified pretty well for my first PCA club race, something like 9/21 5th in class or something close to that. But I was still at least two full seconds off the time of one Mr. James Buckley. So, being my first race, I took a good look at the front of his car so that I would notice it. I mean I had been looking at the back of the car each practice session as he rather routinely left me in the dust.
As expected, the leaders had checked out in first few laps. I was holding my own with respect to my position, so I was happy. But, half way through the sprint race I see this red SC with a white bumper in my rear view mirror. Believe me, after my surprise that my car actually had mirrors, I was pissed. How could I be lapped only half way through the sprint race! I must really suck.
So as not to upset the "real race" that was going on around me, I decided to slow down to allow a good passing opportunity for the lead group. I begin to feverishly wave my hand out the window signaling the proper "DE/you can pass now sign". I almost immediately see the corner worker (I was going slow, so I could look around) signaling me with a rolled up black flag to put my arm back in the car. I'm like, WTF, I'm trying to do the right thing here. Anyway, Buckley goes screaming by and kind of gives me a quick "what the hell was that" glance out his passenger side window.
After the race, the corner worker comes to me and says "you know, its not a DE. You don't need to point people by. Keep your hands in the car or you'll get a black flag." After I told him that I was just trying to let the leaders by, he informed me that Jim had just come from the black flag station and that I gave him my position. Doh!
As for issue #5, I am not VR. I merely train in his dojo.
As expected, the leaders had checked out in first few laps. I was holding my own with respect to my position, so I was happy. But, half way through the sprint race I see this red SC with a white bumper in my rear view mirror. Believe me, after my surprise that my car actually had mirrors, I was pissed. How could I be lapped only half way through the sprint race! I must really suck.
So as not to upset the "real race" that was going on around me, I decided to slow down to allow a good passing opportunity for the lead group. I begin to feverishly wave my hand out the window signaling the proper "DE/you can pass now sign". I almost immediately see the corner worker (I was going slow, so I could look around) signaling me with a rolled up black flag to put my arm back in the car. I'm like, WTF, I'm trying to do the right thing here. Anyway, Buckley goes screaming by and kind of gives me a quick "what the hell was that" glance out his passenger side window.
After the race, the corner worker comes to me and says "you know, its not a DE. You don't need to point people by. Keep your hands in the car or you'll get a black flag." After I told him that I was just trying to let the leaders by, he informed me that Jim had just come from the black flag station and that I gave him my position. Doh!
As for issue #5, I am not VR. I merely train in his dojo.
11-15-2007, 03:41 PM
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I would have thought that he would be stranded by the road.
Having said that, my 1975 Alfetta GT never did let me down.
Boy, that seems a long time ago, back in the day of strangled engines.
Having said that, my 1975 Alfetta GT never did let me down.
Boy, that seems a long time ago, back in the day of strangled engines.
Last edited by RickBetterley; 11-16-2007 at 12:12 PM.
11-15-2007, 06:40 PM
#10
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As clarification for issue #1. I qualified pretty well for my first PCA club race, something like 9/21 5th in class or something close to that. But I was still at least two full seconds off the time of one Mr. James Buckley. So, being my first race, I took a good look at the front of his car so that I would notice it. I mean I had been looking at the back of the car each practice session as he rather routinely left me in the dust.
As expected, the leaders had checked out in first few laps. I was holding my own with respect to my position, so I was happy. But, half way through the sprint race I see this red SC with a white bumper in my rear view mirror. Believe me, after my surprise that my car actually had mirrors, I was pissed. How could I be lapped only half way through the sprint race! I must really suck.
So as not to upset the "real race" that was going on around me, I decided to slow down to allow a good passing opportunity for the lead group. I begin to feverishly wave my hand out the window signaling the proper "DE/you can pass now sign". I almost immediately see the corner worker (I was going slow, so I could look around) signaling me with a rolled up black flag to put my arm back in the car. I'm like, WTF, I'm trying to do the right thing here. Anyway, Buckley goes screaming by and kind of gives me a quick "what the hell was that" glance out his passenger side window.
After the race, the corner worker comes to me and says "you know, its not a DE. You don't need to point people by. Keep your hands in the car or you'll get a black flag." After I told him that I was just trying to let the leaders by, he informed me that Jim had just come from the black flag station and that I gave him my position. Doh!
As for issue #5, I am not VR. I merely train in his dojo.
As expected, the leaders had checked out in first few laps. I was holding my own with respect to my position, so I was happy. But, half way through the sprint race I see this red SC with a white bumper in my rear view mirror. Believe me, after my surprise that my car actually had mirrors, I was pissed. How could I be lapped only half way through the sprint race! I must really suck.
So as not to upset the "real race" that was going on around me, I decided to slow down to allow a good passing opportunity for the lead group. I begin to feverishly wave my hand out the window signaling the proper "DE/you can pass now sign". I almost immediately see the corner worker (I was going slow, so I could look around) signaling me with a rolled up black flag to put my arm back in the car. I'm like, WTF, I'm trying to do the right thing here. Anyway, Buckley goes screaming by and kind of gives me a quick "what the hell was that" glance out his passenger side window.
After the race, the corner worker comes to me and says "you know, its not a DE. You don't need to point people by. Keep your hands in the car or you'll get a black flag." After I told him that I was just trying to let the leaders by, he informed me that Jim had just come from the black flag station and that I gave him my position. Doh!
As for issue #5, I am not VR. I merely train in his dojo.
11-15-2007, 08:42 PM
#12
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As clarification for issue #1. I qualified pretty well for my first PCA club race, something like 9/21 5th in class or something close to that. But I was still at least two full seconds off the time of one Mr. James Buckley. So, being my first race, I took a good look at the front of his car so that I would notice it. I mean I had been looking at the back of the car each practice session as he rather routinely left me in the dust.
As expected, the leaders had checked out in first few laps. I was holding my own with respect to my position, so I was happy. But, half way through the sprint race I see this red SC with a white bumper in my rear view mirror. Believe me, after my surprise that my car actually had mirrors, I was pissed. How could I be lapped only half way through the sprint race! I must really suck.
So as not to upset the "real race" that was going on around me, I decided to slow down to allow a good passing opportunity for the lead group. I begin to feverishly wave my hand out the window signaling the proper "DE/you can pass now sign". I almost immediately see the corner worker (I was going slow, so I could look around) signaling me with a rolled up black flag to put my arm back in the car. I'm like, WTF, I'm trying to do the right thing here. Anyway, Buckley goes screaming by and kind of gives me a quick "what the hell was that" glance out his passenger side window.
After the race, the corner worker comes to me and says "you know, its not a DE. You don't need to point people by. Keep your hands in the car or you'll get a black flag." After I told him that I was just trying to let the leaders by, he informed me that Jim had just come from the black flag station and that I gave him my position. Doh!
As for issue #5, I am not VR. I merely train in his dojo.
As expected, the leaders had checked out in first few laps. I was holding my own with respect to my position, so I was happy. But, half way through the sprint race I see this red SC with a white bumper in my rear view mirror. Believe me, after my surprise that my car actually had mirrors, I was pissed. How could I be lapped only half way through the sprint race! I must really suck.
So as not to upset the "real race" that was going on around me, I decided to slow down to allow a good passing opportunity for the lead group. I begin to feverishly wave my hand out the window signaling the proper "DE/you can pass now sign". I almost immediately see the corner worker (I was going slow, so I could look around) signaling me with a rolled up black flag to put my arm back in the car. I'm like, WTF, I'm trying to do the right thing here. Anyway, Buckley goes screaming by and kind of gives me a quick "what the hell was that" glance out his passenger side window.
After the race, the corner worker comes to me and says "you know, its not a DE. You don't need to point people by. Keep your hands in the car or you'll get a black flag." After I told him that I was just trying to let the leaders by, he informed me that Jim had just come from the black flag station and that I gave him my position. Doh!
As for issue #5, I am not VR. I merely train in his dojo.
Last edited by mglobe; 11-16-2007 at 07:23 PM.
11-15-2007, 10:57 PM
#13
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cept yours didnt really have any sort of honor in it...hahahah
I think you should definitely be let in!!!
11-16-2007, 09:26 PM
#14
The Penguin King
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Bill,
Have you got any banned substances you need me to keep. It might help the application process... I mean I could hold on to those substances, and inform the super secret membership committee (that may or may not exist) that you might be ok... or not.
I'd offer to interrogate you over a martini, but I don't see you on the roster for the 12/1 DE @ TWS. Not going to make it?
Have you got any banned substances you need me to keep. It might help the application process... I mean I could hold on to those substances, and inform the super secret membership committee (that may or may not exist) that you might be ok... or not.
I'd offer to interrogate you over a martini, but I don't see you on the roster for the 12/1 DE @ TWS. Not going to make it?
11-16-2007, 10:07 PM
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Bill,
Have you got any banned substances you need me to keep. It might help the application process... I mean I could hold on to those substances, and inform the super secret membership committee (that may or may not exist) that you might be ok... or not.
I'd offer to interrogate you over a martini, but I don't see you on the roster for the 12/1 DE @ TWS. Not going to make it?
Have you got any banned substances you need me to keep. It might help the application process... I mean I could hold on to those substances, and inform the super secret membership committee (that may or may not exist) that you might be ok... or not.
I'd offer to interrogate you over a martini, but I don't see you on the roster for the 12/1 DE @ TWS. Not going to make it?
As for the 12/1 DE, I'm in the middle of a legal case against a tennant I had to evict due to the fact that she was a pig and destroyed my property. If I can get some of the repairs done and get some settlement on the case, I'll go.