Mike in Chi

This was recently in the Seattle Paper... The title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.
I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said.....
"A pumpkin? ..... ****...is it midnight already??!!

jester911

He clearly was in a vegetative state.

Bull

See, this is why I left Seattle years ago. I suspected something was up when I first saw the manner in which they carve pumpkins out there.........

Veloce Raptor

LMMFAO..

Nah, you know me: animal husbandry only, no agricultural husbandry.

RDL

Mike, You now owe me a computer monitor as I just spit pop all overit. That may be the funniest thing I have read in a long time.

bsr_257

Well, you did grab that can of NuFinish paste from me at the track. Was expecting you to use it on your car.....

Mike in Chi

I loved it too. Which is why I had to share...

Overall, you read stuff on this forum at your own, and your computer's, risk.

Didn't you sign the waiver?

RDL

I signed the waiver with VR's signature.

DaveM993

and I don't think can be classified as gross negligence...

...posting the thread I mean...

waiver should be good

Bull

What the hell is with all of this waivering??? Stand tuff men!

Veloce Raptor

LOL...I also left a 5 spot in your tool box.

Hey, RDL, I voted before it right before I voted against it.

jester911

Isn't Washington the state that guy died from letting a horse do him? There seems to a lot of bent folks up there.

Bull

Well, with 9-10 months of clouds and periods of measurable rain extending for 90-100 days at a time, you expect normal? It took me a while to return to my normal self after spending 15 years there.

bsr_257

Well, I haven't opened up my tool box since the weekend. Seriously, you didn't have to do that, a cold beer would have been good enough

That can is close to a pumpkin color, nice & soft on the inside...

jester911

I knew there was something a little shady about you Bull.