kurt M

OK. On track. VIR 3 or 4 years ago. Cleaned up the points, set the gap, tickled the timing and shut the hood at last call to go out. Fired up the fire breathing 4 cylinder metal monster of raging pushrod fury and got to hot pit just as the run group line cleared of cars. Put the hammer down and made it to T3 before the car stumbled. Ding! Little 10 watt light in head flickered on and I pictured the snaps for the dizzy cap not back in place...Pulled over off track in the grass what I though was well far enough and(Pause for dramatic gravitas)… Got Out Of The Car... Did a quick fix and rejoined the fun. By this time the front of the pack had made it’s lap and I rejoined near the back of the pack. Well for some reason my luck with this run was going from bad to worse as now there is a standing Black Flag All. OK, into the pits. C.I. is stopping at each car and leaning into the car and talking to each drover in turn. Gets to me and informs me that this is My very own black flag all and that he has used me as(s) the "Never get out of your car unless it is on fire" example. This was also just before lunch and all the usual suspects were ether on track or watching from the restaurant.

In general. Annandale High school, 1977. Lanky 17 year old comes barreling out of class and out the back door of the building to the smoking area that is right at the doors. Look left, clear. Look right, clear. Cut a 6 second fart that spanned the better part of 3 octaves and followed it up with a self satisfied chuckle. Turn around and look right at the girl that I have been hitting on for weeks and some of her friends. They happened to sitting on the ground not 3 feet from my fog horn rendition…

Bonster

With the fart joke, he's got my vote. That made me start laughing.

I've got one that can one-up your car deal, though. We had this guy come to one of our events in a brand new shiny Corvette (C6 standard edition). He was so scared to be on the track by himself, even WITH an instructor in his car. Well, this was a two day event, so the second day he was solo. He got out of his car and started walking up (as in, he CROSSED THE TRACK SURFACE) to the flagger box in turn 14 of Thunderhill and asked the flagger where the exit was (just around the corner -- you just come off line of turn 15). WOAH. That guy has been politely asked to not come back -- I have it on good authority from one of our drivers who just happens to be a shrink that this gentleman exhibited signs of schytzophrenia (or however you spell it). Turns out he was right! I got a call from the dude's doc the following week. That has got to be the wildest thing I've seen.

mglobe

Sounds like Kurt might have the goods, but I sure hope if he makes it in, we can come up with a title that doesn't involve foghorns and/or flatulence.

Bonster

Well, hang on a minute, Mike. "Team Fog Machine" might work. We could use a fog machine to keep Dave from passing us.

mglobe

Yeah, but you'll want to make sure foghorn leghorn is behind you. What he's passing isn't so great, and it's flammable too!

Bonster

Hmmm . . . flames . . . rich odor . . . excessive exhaust gas . . . maybe we should call him TURBO! Lol.

kurt M

All that work blown to hell by a 30 year old fart?

Bull

I don't recal how i became a Turtle.....but it was something i said.

mglobe

Mr Ok-Wrench

Mr Cheap Wrench

Team Scrapinator

Mr Fixit

The Fixinator

Bonster

Team Flatuwrencher. ROFL.

mglobe

Great one, but we can't make the guy live with that!

Bonster

Okay, how about Team Exhaust Expert?

Food Angel

Oh man...I was living in Alexandria back then, and I REMEMBER this!!!



I like Team Exhaust expert.

DaveM993

Director of Emissions
Emission Control Expert

9444Alexis

Team EGR valve? <for KurtM>

Fart jokes trump a lot of things.........farts are funny as hell.

I had pictures in my HWFMR application. I have weeds around my car, they are growing on it. This makes for slowness you could only HOPE to achieve.

I also have so many embarrassing stories, I could fill a forum. I am not someone who stands on formality. I fall off it and have set it on fire once.