After seeing Mick's belly button, his german chicken dance, and seattle's miserable coaching and time mgt., I've been drinking far too much adult additive Kool-Aid. uh, boss, can I bring your meds into the trailer where the 996TT was? -- since Jaro got his money and bought it from you?

 

Ahhh, Bob.. you're going to fit in nicely.. you have the IQ.. you know loads, shorts, open circuits, and other technical engineering terms... Now, to be a full fledged member of the BEST Rennlist forum.. we just need to give you a little injection from our Kool-aid.. once innoculated you become a full fledged SMART *** member... what's in the injection, you ask???.. a full dose of SARCASM!!, a little bit of cynicism of PAG intentions, a large influx of EGO (especially if married), and yes, a slightly sick sense of humor about the Cayenne.. oh and almost forgot.. the injection also makes you good looking and a babe magnet, too!

Welcome Bob..

p.s. now bob what model do you moderate at rennlist and are you a Cayenne owner or just a glutton for punishment "wanna bee"?

 

Yes, you caught me. The one statement I made in my post that was not qualified with: likely; may; possible or if.

Is there a Resign the Forum procedure, or do I submit myself for public flogging? Would the decision be different IF (for Lewis’ benefit) I stated that I would enjoy that?


As Jphillips-998 stated in the initial post: This is not a normal condition! The lights should NOT flicker. Something abnormal is causing this condition. There have been other topics that state the Cayenne doesn’t like lots of draw.

The power to the marker lamps is switched through the circuitry in the trailer control module. At some point the current passing through the circuitry to the lamps will exceed what the circuit components can tolerate and they will fail. Also, at some point, the current passing through the vehicle wiring will exceed what it can tolerate and it will fail.

No, I don’t know where those limits are for the Cayenne, but I would not risk my vehicle if it were acting like JPhillips’ Cayenne.


Have you considered calling a paralegal? They could arrive with their overhead light bar flashing and their siren wailing. Wait, I digress…


As I stated, why risk damaging the vehicle with a potential overload? I, for one, would not be happy with a “repaired” Cayenne, which had smoked wiring.


The two changes I proposed, to use a relay to switch all the marker lamp current, or to swap some marker lamps to LED lamps have negligible effect on the trailer lamp failure circuitry. For a trailer with 18 side marker lamps, how many can burn out before the vehicle objects, 17?

What point is being made by objecting to the changes I’ve proposed?


This is not correct. The current implementation on the Cayenne does not permit the vehicle to provide the desired results. That goal is very possible for an alternate implementation of a trailer current monitoring system.




The problem with the trailer is indicative of a more pervasive problem. Porsche ownership, in general and Cayenne ownership, in specific, require adopting several essential principals.

The first and most important is: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. Another essential axiom is: FREE WILL IS IRRELEVANT.

The voices we hear in our heads are NOT random noise. This is the Porsche Collective. We are all connected to the Porsche Queen. She brings order where there was once chaos.

Any guess as to who is at the top of the list for assimilation?

 

Yes.
Doubtful, as there is series fuse protection.
Perhaps, but since the trailer lamp failure circuitry doesn't work anyways, how do you define neglible effect
You would have to know the 'magic number' in order to answer that question. However, it would be easy to simply start unplugging lights (on a functioning Cayenne/trailer combination) until the Cayenne's trailer lamp failure circuitry actually displayed a real "Check Trailer Lights". I'm willing to bet the results would be comical.
None, other than it seems odd to modify a trailer that works just fine with any other tow vehicle in the world to make it work with a Cayenne

 

MadFox,
Bob is a very highly respected Rennlist member, moderator and PCA DE instructor.

 

I know, I know!! Me, Me, Me *hand in the air-jumping*

Porsche got an extra good deal on Lucas Electrics! Pass me that kool-aid.

Lewis, I was the GT2/3 and Canada mod until John gave me SUPERPOWERS.
My rides - 2000 Box S, 2002 GT2 with beloved PCCB, now a GT3. Oh, and a 430 for a bit of Italian spice. My wife is looking at Cayennes and I want a trailer to haul dirt bikes.. probably not enough bulbs to make the demon circuit work. On the other hand, I do have a hand-full of 10 watt resistors lying around. Perhaps a 55 watt backup light might help. More Kool-aid please.

 

In this case, transitioning from flickering lamps, with virtually no lamp fail function, to steady illumination, with functional relay coil fail detection.

My experience has been that the side marker lights are visible in the mirrors. I use those to aid maneuvering in tight places at night. As such, I notice when they are not operational.



The proposed changes permit mere mortals to continue driving their Cayenne, except enabling the elimination of error conditions. At some point, Porsche may send down a series of “fixes”, to this problem that doesn’t exist. But, until then, the choice is to live with the problem or not.

The changes I’ve proposed do not alter a trailer to make it work ONLY with the Cayenne. So, the choice falls to each owner.

 

Wait a minute.....you mean I have a choice?
1. Live with it.
2. Live with it not.
I prefer to with what's behind door #3, thank you.

 

Ahhhhh, so you indeed are a Cayenne "wanna bee" ... Bob, come closer -- feel the Cayenne forum force --- you must drink the Kool-aid with adult additive... the Porsche Queen's hive at your local dealership (see post by Wingless) awaits your purchase..... Further, we see that you have superb taste in alternative vehicles to the Cayenne. So -- it is proof that we have now created a disturbance in the Porsche force -- Porsche drones from other forums (as we suspected) lurk in the Cayenne Forum because it is indeed the premier technical, enlightening, sarcastic but entertaining forum in the Rennlist "family". Look into the Queen's eyes... DRINK the KOOL-AID --- Bob --- you can be one of the "villa" residents!
Ahhhhh, again... Bob are you sure that you want to lurketh here and thus potentially ruineth your HIGH amount of respect?

The Queen has just spoken to the MOST high pencil pushing drone and 2nd in command.. He has officially invited YOU to TOW a trailer with LED lighting upon delivery of your Cayenne of choice.... When (noticed we didn't say IF) you are totally frustrated, you will be invited to the DE (drive-in experience) at PCNA on Hammond street where members of this forum at 100K miles will meet and see their torched Cayennes smoldering in the lobby...

 

Why do I get this mental image in my mind of a Rennlist Moderator meeting at John D's house and the discussion starts off something like this...

What the hell is going on in the Cayenne forum lately?
What are we going to do about it?

Talk of Purplesaurus Rex Kool Aid, T shirt designs with owners mooning PCNA, an overmedicated, vacation villa resident who we're not sure is a male/female/cat/all of the above trying to get the other Cayenne owners to storm PCNA HQ with flaming **** on a stick.

I'm not quite sure this is what John D had in mind when he invited us to join his forum.

 

Two possible answers:
1. The internet is "wild and crazy" and thus can go "where none have traveled before..." (except in China (thanks google wimps) and Iran (need I say more?)
2. We're "bad" invites to the party.. We drank too much adult additive Kool-Aid and one thing led to another.. and presto by the end of the party... the drunks are naked in the den demanding Peter be put on a stick burning next to 100K mile set of Cayennes with two guys laughing their asses off in straight jackets.

 

Mad - I don't think I am a Cayenne wannabe, I hate SUV's. On the other hand I also know about "happy wife = happy life", and besides I want something to haul dirt bikes around.

This forum is full of good info laced with a refreshing dose of humor. A tad sarcastic at time, but a few pointed barbs at PCNA et al are not only justified but good for them. There is a prevailing attitude of "vee can du nein wrongk" and that bubble needs the odd pin *****.

As for a DIE (nice acronym) on Hammond, I'm in. My Atlanta office is just around the corner on Peachtree Dunwoody. I can get us corporate rates at the Double Tree (Hilton). IMPORTANT, I have personally trained Jim the bar-tender to make world class Adult kool-aid. I'll bring a set of low mileage PCCB to throw on the bon-fire.

Regards,

 

I am pretty sure your "mental" image is purely that, I doubt I will ever be invited to Johns house for starters , secondly to assume someone would object to members exchanging non offensive banter with each other is part of what the board is all about.

Trying to use the board as a hammer to get PCNA to pay attention we know is futile, some still try but most take the subjective remarks as they are given.

I know my intake of your juice is no where near yours so the purple mist is not so visible, but I do appreciate the vintage.

 

I see no reason why you wouldn't be invited to John's place. I've met him in person and he is a very sociable guy with a wikked (sic) sense of humor. Very articulate too.

PCNA reads these forums. I'd like to think that our inputs (if they can be called that) get some attention. I suspect something of the sort going on in the X50 transmission thread on the 996 Turbo board. Whoever "Dock" is, he seems to be related to PCNA in some way. Perhaps a lawyer watching for slandere <grin>. ltc, have you heard from him!?! The thread is an example of PCNA acting as the defendant, the judge and the jury on a warranty claim. By the way, is the Cayenne warranty invalid if you take it off road?

rgds,

 

I am aware of the thread and no, I am not familiar with Dock personally.

Only if you plug a trailer into the 7pin Pollack connector to get there