Went to my first NASCAR race at Fontana
08-31-2008, 08:05 PM
#1
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Went to my first NASCAR race at Fontana
And I am back before the Cup race. Thoughts about the Race:
If you are 10-20 lbs over weight GO and you will never think you are overwieght again. In fact if you are 30-50 lbs overwieght you will look like Richard Gere. You may be able to get a trophy wife. One trip and you will never have to buy a gym membership or bicycle again. You need not wear a shirt either.
If you think you are an alcholic or have a problem with drinking go. you will NEVER check your self into Betty Ford. If you wake up can stand upright and can take a leak you can start drinking immediately. Apparently Beer goes well on Frosted Flakes. There is a short cut- you can just not go to bed after the Nationwide race and continue drinking through out the nite. Sleeping is a waste of time that could be spent drinking.
If you have African American friends and enjoy spending time with them NASCAR may not be for you.
Anything that needs to be eaten can and should be grilled. The stove and oven in your motorhome trailer is for boiling water ONLY.
If you are fortunate enough to own a pool it will fit in your motorhome/trailer
Children know how to step over their passout parents with effortless skill
If you DO own a bike any kind of competition bicycle is not permitted. Typically the older the bike the better. If you have an old bike and you have a place cut out of the cross tube for 2 beer cans you will be the toast of your camping spot. The main reason for the bike is to pull your radio flyer to and from your truck in the parking to transport beer from the parking lot to your camp site.
Coffee is used to clean the grill
Wine is noise your generator makes.
Any sort of malady can be medicated with beer.
A half ton truck is not enough to pull your trailer and transport beer.
A complete wardrobe for a adult male is 2 pair of underwear one pair of shorts and one pair of flipflops.
Quiet time is STRICTLY enforced from 3:30 AM to 3:45 AM.
Very sophisticated beer can be found in the Michelob section of the infield grocery store.
I saw a lady sweeping the grass.
For some reason people use cooler cups to hide their Coors light at 7:30 AM
If you have ANY perceptable hearing left in your head it WILL be gone by weekends end.
If you are 10-20 lbs over weight GO and you will never think you are overwieght again. In fact if you are 30-50 lbs overwieght you will look like Richard Gere. You may be able to get a trophy wife. One trip and you will never have to buy a gym membership or bicycle again. You need not wear a shirt either.
If you think you are an alcholic or have a problem with drinking go. you will NEVER check your self into Betty Ford. If you wake up can stand upright and can take a leak you can start drinking immediately. Apparently Beer goes well on Frosted Flakes. There is a short cut- you can just not go to bed after the Nationwide race and continue drinking through out the nite. Sleeping is a waste of time that could be spent drinking.
If you have African American friends and enjoy spending time with them NASCAR may not be for you.
Anything that needs to be eaten can and should be grilled. The stove and oven in your motorhome trailer is for boiling water ONLY.
If you are fortunate enough to own a pool it will fit in your motorhome/trailer
Children know how to step over their passout parents with effortless skill
If you DO own a bike any kind of competition bicycle is not permitted. Typically the older the bike the better. If you have an old bike and you have a place cut out of the cross tube for 2 beer cans you will be the toast of your camping spot. The main reason for the bike is to pull your radio flyer to and from your truck in the parking to transport beer from the parking lot to your camp site.
Coffee is used to clean the grill
Wine is noise your generator makes.
Any sort of malady can be medicated with beer.
A half ton truck is not enough to pull your trailer and transport beer.
A complete wardrobe for a adult male is 2 pair of underwear one pair of shorts and one pair of flipflops.
Quiet time is STRICTLY enforced from 3:30 AM to 3:45 AM.
Very sophisticated beer can be found in the Michelob section of the infield grocery store.
I saw a lady sweeping the grass.
For some reason people use cooler cups to hide their Coors light at 7:30 AM
If you have ANY perceptable hearing left in your head it WILL be gone by weekends end.
08-31-2008, 08:41 PM
#6
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CJ apparently some people dont have a sense of humor.
BTW I bought a DLP and a Junior hat.
metal mulisha was there too that was cool.
BTW I bought a DLP and a Junior hat.
metal mulisha was there too that was cool.
08-31-2008, 09:10 PM
#7
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A mullet-rich environment indeed.
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08-31-2008, 11:58 PM
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step one- point at others
step two- laugh
repeat
point at each other
repeat
how funny is this- my dad and his friend went to a gun show yesterday for "people watching"...they don't like guns but they sure as **** do like laughing at weirdos!
09-01-2008, 12:44 AM
#14
All heed the gunshow...that's a can't miss, must do before you die laugh fest...I had the privilege to attend one in Fayetteville, NC (Ft. Bragg) about 15 years ago..biggest gathering of total psycho's I've ever seen (it was not soldiers from the base, I was there visiting a couple buddies who were Rangers, Army Rangers not CJ's Texas Rangers)..Funny yet terrifying at the same time...
CJ your dad must have had a hoot, I'm jealous..
CJ your dad must have had a hoot, I'm jealous..
09-01-2008, 01:30 AM
#15
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paul,
this is your best post. funny as sh*t, i love it. still ROTFLMAO
this is your best post. funny as sh*t, i love it. still ROTFLMAO