How to justify 997 purchase to gf/wife
#138
Rennlist Member
"If you're married then it is her money as well not solely yours. "
Negative ghostrider. That's where, if you are smart, you set the rules and expectations up prior to marriage.
Spelled, Prenup.
Negative ghostrider. That's where, if you are smart, you set the rules and expectations up prior to marriage.
Spelled, Prenup.
#139
Instructor
Join Date: May 2010
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
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If the relationship is like this now, and your GF is like this now, why would you expect it to improve once you are married? And in fairness, what is she to expect out of you later on? (I'm not singling out either one of you here)
If you expect it to get better, It won't. Just man up. If you have to hide this, and the dynamic is as such, I'd offer the relationship might not be built on the right things. This goes for both sides.
If you expect it to get better, It won't. Just man up. If you have to hide this, and the dynamic is as such, I'd offer the relationship might not be built on the right things. This goes for both sides.
#141
ug, wrong answer please try again. I'm married with two kids.
She spends thousands on LV, Gucci, Prada, I have no issues with it. She does work part time b/c she's bored. I pay all the bills, she has no financial responsibilities of any kinds. We have separate bank accounts for this very reason. She wants to buy something big, she talks to me, not the other way around. I was brought up in a traditional Chinese family, where the man actually wears the pants. I know it sounds harsh for those that don't understand. My wife is extremely happy and content, she doesn't mind at all. I wouldn't either if I were in her shoes. In fact, she brags about it to her friends all the time. I like my man being a man.
werd, People forget sometimes that woman actually likes a man that will put their foot down once in awhile. From what I've read on forums that traditional seems to be lost. "Bending Over" seems to be the new trend, good thing this forum does not have rep points, I see mine fading fast if it did. lol
+100, Set up your priorities, let her know how you feel about certain things, eg cars, hanging out with friends. That will never change, if she doesn't like it, then she can go somewhere else. If she really likes you, she will be very clingy from that day on. It drives me nuts when I have friends that say, they can't go out b/c the wife doesn't let them.
How about the wife, can she do the same with her half of the money? What if she decided to take a little shopping trip to New York, spend 30 or 40K on herself? She certainly deserves it since she looks after your most valuable asset,your children. I wonder if there might be a blank stare on your face? Or maybe it's enough for her to be fed and housed. After all, what else could she want?
If the relationship is like this now, and your GF is like this now, why would you expect it to improve once you are married? And in fairness, what is she to expect out of you later on? (I'm not singling out either one of you here)
If you expect it to get better, It won't. Just man up. If you have to hide this, and the dynamic is as such, I'd offer the relationship might not be built on the right things. This goes for both sides.
If you expect it to get better, It won't. Just man up. If you have to hide this, and the dynamic is as such, I'd offer the relationship might not be built on the right things. This goes for both sides.
#143
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Grab a brew. Don't cost nothin'.
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Unless you both bring significant assets to the marriage, this not a great way to start off. Marriage is a partnership built on mutual sacrifice, trust and respect. Your spouse should enter the relationship as your ultimate partner...ever.
#144
Pro
The current GF thinks my Cab is "pretty" and "fun to go on road trips with"
We both work so we both buy our own stuff but we discuss big things out of courtesy.
She works at Google, so if there is a future housewife in our pair, it might actually be me.
We both work so we both buy our own stuff but we discuss big things out of courtesy.
She works at Google, so if there is a future housewife in our pair, it might actually be me.
#147
Rennlist Member
Devil's advocate here:
Not knowing anything about the finances of anyone involved, this could be a wake-up call for someone to look in the mirror and ask himself if he's losing a good woman over a poor financial decision.
Either way, probably better to have a GF who is more on the same page. Decisions get tougher after marriage, not easier, and philosophical differences only amplify. If it's this contentious about money already, the future's going to be turbulent.
Not knowing anything about the finances of anyone involved, this could be a wake-up call for someone to look in the mirror and ask himself if he's losing a good woman over a poor financial decision.
Either way, probably better to have a GF who is more on the same page. Decisions get tougher after marriage, not easier, and philosophical differences only amplify. If it's this contentious about money already, the future's going to be turbulent.
#148
I haven't read this thread up to date so this advice may be obsolete.
Just pretend that you just bought it today (or whenever today is when you manage to tell her)
Its not so much the purchase of the Porsche that I would be afraid of (its your money as others have said) its the delay in telling her which betrays your lack of trust or fear of her which she might react negatively to.
I have a 997 and 7 other cars which I change on a regular basis. I usually buy or sell one or two cars per year.
I am single of course.
Just pretend that you just bought it today (or whenever today is when you manage to tell her)
Its not so much the purchase of the Porsche that I would be afraid of (its your money as others have said) its the delay in telling her which betrays your lack of trust or fear of her which she might react negatively to.
I have a 997 and 7 other cars which I change on a regular basis. I usually buy or sell one or two cars per year.
I am single of course.