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Worst 996 Competition

Old 02-27-2017, 11:18 PM
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Cuda911
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Default Worst 996 Competition

Alrighty, this past week has given us several premier examples to get this thread started.

1. A 6K POS with "Custom" paint (i.e. a faded, water-spotted, filthy coating of grime), "custom" headlight covers (i.e. cheapo Chinese Ebay plastic thingies) over lenses so faded that they emit the same amount of light as a black hole, and RED-painted calipers (i.e. fake upgrade), and the ever-popular "triptronic." Custom exhaust to make it sound like a motorcycle. Dents and weird wing no extra charge. Floor and seat trash also included. Never been driven or parked on a paved surface.

Porsche 911, the cons start where garage fell across the front so both front fenders are slightly dented on top custom matte black paint is chipping off in places needs new hood latch cable the digital odometer is off but will have it back I think it's just a fuse but the pros outweigh the cons the car still looks great in all the dents aren't very noticeable the car runs exceptional over 1500 dollars in custom parts it has custom headlight covers red break calipers and unlike any regular Carrera it has the hollow force air induction wing which forces air into the carbon fiber twin air filter cold air intake from Fabspeed exotic performance it also has a Fabspeed race ready cat bypass x pipe as well as muffler bypass pipes that gives it a very very loud street bike sound and interior still looks good also has sun roof it is an automatic with triptronic button shifters on steering wheel 5% window tint all around and strip across wind shield CLEAN TITLE









Last edited by Cuda911; 02-28-2017 at 01:15 AM.
Old 02-27-2017, 11:37 PM
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2. For those that can afford nearly 50% more, step up to this beauty for $8,500. Don't expect the convertible top to convert, fugget about opening the windows or driving in the rain. Again, dents at no extra charge. Fortunately, prior to offering for sale they removed the badgers that were apparent having some sort of mating fight in it. Guaranteed to smell like dirty gym socks that have been burried in a coffee can for six months. Custom Armor All coating on the 18-year-old tires.











DESCRIPTION:This is a GREAT project vehicle that needs work. Engine and transmission seem fine. Power top, window, and wipers don't work. NO FINANCING AVAILABLE.
VEHICLE INFO
STOCK #: 651890 VIN: WP0CA2995XS651890 YEAR: 1999 MAKE: Porsche MODEL: 911 Carrera 2 COLOR: Red MILES: 116452 ENGINE: 3.4l H-6 MPI 3.4l TRANS: Auto STYLE: 2 DR DOORS: PRICE: 8500

Last edited by Cuda911; 02-28-2017 at 01:08 AM.
Old 02-27-2017, 11:41 PM
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3. Coming soon to a Carmax near you. Only crashed once. Due to custom graphics, buyer will need to change their name to Brandon Clark.




Old 02-27-2017, 11:44 PM
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This one went on and off the market too quickly to obtain analytics. Also only crashed once:


Old 02-28-2017, 12:01 AM
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HandsomeRob
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Originally Posted by Cuda911
This one went on and off the market too quickly to obtain analytics. Also only crashed once:


what the hell happened? I hope there wasn't a passenger.

That passenger side A pillar didn't fare very well. The roof just collapsed. Any idea what speed it was going and what it hit?
Old 02-28-2017, 12:06 AM
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Originally Posted by HandsomeRob
Any idea what speed it was going and what it hit?
Yes.
Old 02-28-2017, 12:16 AM
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gnat
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Nicely done Mike. I especially like the bit about badgers! That's actually a good possibility...

You're going to drive DT to drink with that last submission!
Old 02-28-2017, 12:35 AM
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Kalashnikov
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I would offer the $6k guy $3k...for $100 I would have it repainted gloss white. With exhaust and intake, the car would be a perfect Zero-****s-given 996. I bet it sounds like a cup car going down the street. I would rock it.
Old 02-28-2017, 12:41 AM
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I love how they added "no financing" hahahahha
Old 02-28-2017, 12:53 AM
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808Bill
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I wish someone would go check it out not for me
Old 02-28-2017, 07:37 AM
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DTMiller
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Originally Posted by HandsomeRob
what the hell happened? I hope there wasn't a passenger.

That passenger side A pillar didn't fare very well. The roof just collapsed. Any idea what speed it was going and what it hit?
Meteor. One in a million shot I tell ya.

That passenger side A pillar had a 3000 pound car traveling at about 65 mph land on top of it. I think it did ok. The passenger and I meet up for lunch about 5-6 times a year. He's doing great.
Old 02-28-2017, 07:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Cuda911
3. Coming soon to a Carmax near you. Only crashed once. Due to custom graphics, buyer will need to change their name to Brandon Clark.




False.
Old 02-28-2017, 09:29 AM
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Gonzo911
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They have red "break" calipers. Nice.
Old 02-28-2017, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by DTMiller
False.
True. And I think the front bumper still has another round left in it. For the second time, I went and checked prices of new ones and decided this one could be fixed.
Old 02-28-2017, 10:17 AM
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Atrox
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Can't forget this gem




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