Every day I park my car after a drive and don't hear the engine knocking I giggle just a little.

 

 

 

I am currently on the Yucatan sourcing replacement semen. There are no unicorns here, but for $5 they'll implant a narwhal horn on a donkey painted with zebra strips. I may give it a try just to see what happens if the horn rejects the donkey.

Where the F*** is the waiter? I'ma be sober in a day or two at this rate.

 

Nice thread, OP, but "Mods, please delete" is RL code for "please keep this on the first page. forever."

Currently accepting applications for someone to pleasure the nar-donkey. Please send your resumes to KrazyK's attention.

 

I feel your pain.

 

Tell them you know Sr. Gonzo, aka "el Jeffe". That and a 50 peso tip should do the trick.

 

I am having rum for breakfast today because today's "spend a smallish pile of money to go hang out with dolphins" day. I don't think sobriety is a requirement when hanging out with soggy mammals.

 

Just don't over serve yourself and do something you really shouldn't with Flipper's blowhole. Trust me, they don't like that very much...

 

Or let the dolphin do something with yours...

 

Re last two above: insert smartass mutual sump fingering comment here.