Sounds like your starter is not engaging with the flywheel.

 

That's the most likely issue, agreed. OP, has the car been exhibiting any starting issues prior to this?

I suspect that the codes have nothing to do with the starting issue BTW.

 

Thanks for posting the Audio/video, that sound is suspicious.!! ( almost like a "0 compression sound" )

Have someone turn the key to start while you observe the engine to see if the belt is turning the accessories..

( I'm thinking possibly a broken timing chain or an IMS gear is slipping on the shaft)

 

When I crank, the accessory belt does not move, so it seems my 0 rpm reading is correct. I think I can rule out a bad crank sensor. The engine does spin freely by hand. So, it seems the extremely unlikely scenario is that I did indeed stall it (for probably only the 3rd or 4th time ever in 13 years), and it is a bad starter. I think my next step is ordering a new starter, I looked back at my log and I replaced the starter about 9 years / 40,000 miles ago.

 

Agree 100%.

To OP, would not discount what PT3 says.

 

Sounds like the starter is grinding against the flywheel.

The problem with replacing the starter and not inspecting the flywheel is that your flywheel could be damaged, either broken, which is causing the issue, or now has some bad teeth from the bad starter.

 

Well, everyone who said starter was correct. I put new one and it fired up, made it to lunch and back no problem. I'm still in awe of the unbelievable coincidence that the starter died after I stalled it. Like I said before I've only ever stalled this car 3-4 times over the last 13 years. Wasn't too bad of a job, probably less than 2 hours. I mostly followed the Pelican book, but the Bentley book had a great tip showing you can sneak a series of extensions under an idler to get to the lower starter bolt.

 

Well it happens.... this orange jeep in front with 62k miles had a bad starter for no reason on a trail in moab last week. It turned into a 4200lb trail plug until we could get him pulled foward. At least u were in your driveway.

 

Yeah, trail breakages can be not fun, especially when it's not related to trail use.
I had a slight delay in Moab in spring when this Jeep broke it's rear upper control arm brackets which caused the axle to twist and break the driveshaft. It was a triangulated setup, so there was no track bar.