I am a total child
09-13-2007, 07:26 PM
#1
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I am a total child
So, I'm driving around downtown Salt Lake today with my mother (yup) in the car. I am putting along in second gear and she is going on and on about how nice the car is (she really likes the steering wheel BTW), when she asks me “Is it very fast?” Well, without saying anything, I just push the gas pedal to the floor. Wait for it, wait. OK, cue turbos, bang, red line, red light, brake hard, stop. I look over at Mom (yup) and she is sitting there white as a ghost. First time she’s been quiet since she’s been here
.
But here is the cool(er) part. My car has your basic Fabspeed Muffler Bypass Pipes on it. I have never been next to the car at full chat, but it must make an impression. There was a Jiffy Lube on the corner at the light and EVERY person in the place stopped what they were doing and came out to look at the car.
I am 42 and not embarrassed, but I should be.
. But here is the cool(er) part. My car has your basic Fabspeed Muffler Bypass Pipes on it. I have never been next to the car at full chat, but it must make an impression. There was a Jiffy Lube on the corner at the light and EVERY person in the place stopped what they were doing and came out to look at the car.
I am 42 and not embarrassed, but I should be.
09-13-2007, 08:54 PM
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Burning Brakes
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So, I'm driving around downtown Salt Lake today with my mother (yup) in the car. I am putting along in second gear and she is going on and on about how nice the car is (she really likes the steering wheel BTW), when she asks me “Is it very fast?” Well, without saying anything, I just push the gas pedal to the floor. Wait for it, wait. OK, cue turbos, bang, red line, red light, brake hard, stop. I look over at Mom (yup) and she is sitting there white as a ghost. First time she’s been quiet since she’s been here.
But here is the cool(er) part. My car has your basic Fabspeed Muffler Bypass Pipes on it. I have never been next to the car at full chat, but it must make an impression. There was a Jiffy Lube on the corner at the light and EVERY person in the place stopped what they were doing and came out to look at the car.
I am 42 and not embarrassed, but I should be.
. But here is the cool(er) part. My car has your basic Fabspeed Muffler Bypass Pipes on it. I have never been next to the car at full chat, but it must make an impression. There was a Jiffy Lube on the corner at the light and EVERY person in the place stopped what they were doing and came out to look at the car.
I am 42 and not embarrassed, but I should be.
I was instructing at an event when the chief driving instructor asked me to take two of the VIP sponsors for a lap in blackie. The guy who was about 55 hadn't ever been on a track and after half a lap at 6/10 I thought he was going to stroke out on me. Pulling into the pits he said "I had no idea cars could corner that fast." I made up some excuse that we were really going fast out there.
His trophy wife then gets in who was about 20 years his jr. and had the basic Newport Beach ground up restoration complete with 700 cc Hyer Schulte implants. I asked if she had ever been on a track, "no, but I like going fast".
I'm thinking....no sh.t sherlock how did you wind up with Mr Stuft shirt. She leans over and touches my leg and tells me I think I'm going to like this.
I decide I'll crank it up a notch, and if I pull 1g in turn eight she"ll have enough.
I take a DE line and crank it up come around eight and she starts screaming faster, faster as I hammer it down the front straight I'm at 158 mph and I slam on the brakes for turn one getting into the anit-locks. Ya, I'm trying to impress her. I'm watching out of the corner of my eye as the harness restrain the biological marvels. The checkered flag signaled the end of the session as I slow down and I notice she breathing hard. I ask if she's ok, and she said..."that was orgasmic, can we do it again".
As I pulled into the pits I saw Mr Stuft shirt leaning next to his Rolls Phantom, humm must of misjudged him. He was smiling, and told me he likes to see his wife happy.. He invited us to dinner that night and we had a great time which is another story.
09-13-2007, 09:32 PM
#5
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I decide I'll crank it up a notch, and if I pull 1g in turn eight she"ll have enough.
I take a DE line and crank it up come around eight and she starts screaming faster, faster as I hammer it down the front straight I'm at 158 mph and I slam on the brakes for turn one getting into the anit-locks. Ya, I'm trying to impress her. I'm watching out of the corner of my eye as the harness restrain the biological marvels. The checkered flag signaled the end of the session as I slow down and I notice she breathing hard. I ask if she's ok, and she said..."that was orgasmic, can we do it again". As I pulled into the pits I saw Mr Stuft shirt leaning next to his Rolls Phantom, humm must of misjudged him. He was smiling, and told me he likes to see his wife happy.. He invited us to dinner that night and we had a great time which is another story.
I take a DE line and crank it up come around eight and she starts screaming faster, faster as I hammer it down the front straight I'm at 158 mph and I slam on the brakes for turn one getting into the anit-locks. Ya, I'm trying to impress her. I'm watching out of the corner of my eye as the harness restrain the biological marvels. The checkered flag signaled the end of the session as I slow down and I notice she breathing hard. I ask if she's ok, and she said..."that was orgasmic, can we do it again". As I pulled into the pits I saw Mr Stuft shirt leaning next to his Rolls Phantom, humm must of misjudged him. He was smiling, and told me he likes to see his wife happy.. He invited us to dinner that night and we had a great time which is another story.
09-13-2007, 10:00 PM
#6
Why do I feel so left out!
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Jimmy,
Now I KNOW who you are...... You're the guy thats writes THOSE stories for Penthouse.....
Now I KNOW who you are...... You're the guy thats writes THOSE stories for Penthouse.....
09-13-2007, 10:01 PM
#7
Nordschleife Master
Tom,
Great story. And yes, you should be a tiny bit ashamed.
Jim,
I'll bet Mr Rolls Royce got a serious chunk that night! He and his wife may be out to see you again!
Great story. And yes, you should be a tiny bit ashamed.
Jim,
I'll bet Mr Rolls Royce got a serious chunk that night! He and his wife may be out to see you again!
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09-14-2007, 02:08 AM
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09-14-2007, 03:40 AM
#10
Why do I feel so left out!
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Deprived or DEPRAVED ??
LMAO
Simon.
LMAO
Simon.
09-14-2007, 10:01 AM
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Great stories guys, keep up the good work . Btw going from home (central Stockholm) to our summerhouse in the archipelago (130km) partly with crappy roads (loads of fun though) normally takes about 1h 45 mins.. Once at the dinnertable when throwing a family party my uncle was very proud to tell us that when he was young (and stupid he admitted) he drove from this particular route in 1h and 28 minutes at dawn with him VW-beetle. He was very proud and told everyone that "This has got to be the world record, and it still stands!". What I didn't tell him (nor my mom) was that I did the exact route with my Pcar starting from central Stockholm in dense traffic, including having to stop 5mins for a bridge-opening and another 3mins for a failing traffic-light (two way traffic reduced to one-way traffic) and still did it in 1h 18min. And thats without pushing it. I even recon telling myself that "if you drive this at dawn without traffic it could be loads of fun". Stupid I know but now I also have something to tell my grandchildren when I grow old 
. Btw going from home (central Stockholm) to our summerhouse in the archipelago (130km) partly with crappy roads (loads of fun though) normally takes about 1h 45 mins.. Once at the dinnertable when throwing a family party my uncle was very proud to tell us that when he was young (and stupid he admitted) he drove from this particular route in 1h and 28 minutes at dawn with him VW-beetle. He was very proud and told everyone that "This has got to be the world record, and it still stands!". What I didn't tell him (nor my mom) was that I did the exact route with my Pcar starting from central Stockholm in dense traffic, including having to stop 5mins for a bridge-opening and another 3mins for a failing traffic-light (two way traffic reduced to one-way traffic) and still did it in 1h 18min. And thats without pushing it. I even recon telling myself that "if you drive this at dawn without traffic it could be loads of fun". Stupid I know but now I also have something to tell my grandchildren when I grow old
09-14-2007, 10:44 AM
#13
Great stories guys, keep up the good work . Btw going from home (central Stockholm) to our summerhouse in the archipelago (130km) partly with crappy roads (loads of fun though) normally takes about 1h 45 mins.. Once at the dinnertable when throwing a family party my uncle was very proud to tell us that when he was young (and stupid he admitted) he drove from this particular route in 1h and 28 minutes at dawn with him VW-beetle. He was very proud and told everyone that "This has got to be the world record, and it still stands!". What I didn't tell him (nor my mom) was that I did the exact route with my Pcar starting from central Stockholm in dense traffic, including having to stop 5mins for a bridge-opening and another 3mins for a failing traffic-light (two way traffic reduced to one-way traffic) and still did it in 1h 18min. And thats without pushing it. I even recon telling myself that "if you drive this at dawn without traffic it could be loads of fun". Stupid I know but now I also have something to tell my grandchildren when I grow old
. Btw going from home (central Stockholm) to our summerhouse in the archipelago (130km) partly with crappy roads (loads of fun though) normally takes about 1h 45 mins.. Once at the dinnertable when throwing a family party my uncle was very proud to tell us that when he was young (and stupid he admitted) he drove from this particular route in 1h and 28 minutes at dawn with him VW-beetle. He was very proud and told everyone that "This has got to be the world record, and it still stands!". What I didn't tell him (nor my mom) was that I did the exact route with my Pcar starting from central Stockholm in dense traffic, including having to stop 5mins for a bridge-opening and another 3mins for a failing traffic-light (two way traffic reduced to one-way traffic) and still did it in 1h 18min. And thats without pushing it. I even recon telling myself that "if you drive this at dawn without traffic it could be loads of fun". Stupid I know but now I also have something to tell my grandchildren when I grow old
09-14-2007, 11:21 AM
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[QUOTE=JJayB;4573370]+1
His trophy wife then gets in who was about 20 years his jr. and had the basic Newport Beach ground up restoration complete with 700 cc Hyer Schulte implants. I asked if she had ever been on a track, "no, but I like going fast".
QUOTE]
I had a similarly equipped student for several sessions at the track and she said that track driving was better than sex. I barely refrained from saying that she'd obviously been getting short shrift in that department, but as a certified instructor I could remedy that!
His trophy wife then gets in who was about 20 years his jr. and had the basic Newport Beach ground up restoration complete with 700 cc Hyer Schulte implants. I asked if she had ever been on a track, "no, but I like going fast".
QUOTE]
I had a similarly equipped student for several sessions at the track and she said that track driving was better than sex. I barely refrained from saying that she'd obviously been getting short shrift in that department, but as a certified instructor I could remedy that!