Wife won't ride in car, therefore WTS (and WTB)
02-28-2007, 12:53 AM
#61
Three Wheelin'
I can appreciate your thoughts here. Although I don't think anyone meant any harm, this thread obviously got way out of hand. I have made the same mistake of not involving my wife in a big purchase decision and have regretted it ever since. What I did was buy a new motorcycle. The real problem wasn't that I bought it, but the timing. She was 7 months pregnant with our first and we had a lot of other purchases to make, e.g. bigger house, family car, baby furniture, etc. Luckily my wife loves to ride on my bike and eventually got over it. In fact, we are doing a 15 day MC tour around New Zealand at the end of the year and are already planning to rent a porsche to do a Bavarian Tour in 2008. I say, look at this as an opportunity to upgrade to the C4S or TT. That would be a win for both of you!
02-28-2007, 01:08 AM
#62
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Originally Posted by Hound Dog
I had no idea I would prompt this much of a response. I had supposed that you folks may have dealt with spouses/significant others that had issues with your p-car and would share your insights. Thank you to all of those who did. Several of you though chose to share other thoughts for which I am less grateful.
Those telling me to lose my wife and similar suggestions, however good hearted (and I will assume that they were good hearted), can go jump in a lake (in a good hearted way). My wife is the best decision I ever made, much better than my porsche or any car or anything else. For those of you that can't appreciate where I'm coming from on that, I hope that some day you meet a really wonderful person and spend the rest of your lives with them. For those of you that can, well, you know what I mean.
If my wife would like the car in some other color than Guards Red, she can have it and I'd fight to the death and spend my last dollar and ounce of energy, blood, sweat and tears to make it that way. Quite frankly, if she wants anything that I can't give her, I'd fight to the death trying and spend my last dollar and ounce of energy, blood sweat and tears trying to give it to her. That's not being a weenie or anything - that's the investment I'm willing to make for the wonderful woman who gave me the privilege of spending her life with me. You may feel differently about your relationship or choose to express it differently or not at all, and I respect that totally.
She loves the car because it makes me happy, but I think the red is just more than she can take. I don't fully understand the reason for that, but that's the way it is. I had hoped that you guys would give me a clear "don't paint it/buy another" (I particularly like the TT idea, but was thinking more of a C4S in some other color than GR). I suppose I got that, but I also got a few more suggestions, obviously. While I appreciate the wide range of input, some of it went well beyond what to do about the wonderful 993 that I bought in a color that's less than my wife's favorite.
I did learn several things from your posts though:
1) There are many who read this board more than once per day - I don't. She hasn't taken my computer or whatever the, quite frankly, very frustrating remark was about that.
2) I will not repaint my car and will view this as an opportunity to buy another that both she and I can appreciate. Hence the title of the post -- "WTS (and WTB)."
3) Whoever had the idea to involve her in the buying process had a good idea. I didn't involve her that deeply in the last process, but will next time. Very good idea - thanks very much. She likes the car (other than the color) very much - we have several friends with newer and older p-cars and she definitely appreciates the nuance of the 993. She simply doesn't like the color.
4) People don't read posts very closely. I never said that she wanted me to sell it - I only said that she didn't like to ride in it due to the color and I was trying to figure out what to do so that she would ride in it.
5) Cowboy up? Get some *****? I'd rather have my wife involved in one of the most enjoyable parts of my life (the p-car) than not and I have enough cowboy ***** or whatever other genitalia or body parts are required to state that publicly. Different people have different relationships - I'd like her to be involved in this part of my life. Your relationship may be different with your spouse and how they participate in the p-car part of your life, and that's fine. I doubt though that whatever aspects of our lives we choose to involve our spouses in (or not) is even remotely related to any particular physical attribute.
I've watched you guys engage in flame wars and get folks angry at one another and I never thought I'd be there. I couldn't believe people had the capacity to evoke such anger through posts that involve, for the most part, just cars.
I was wrong.
Hound Dog
Those telling me to lose my wife and similar suggestions, however good hearted (and I will assume that they were good hearted), can go jump in a lake (in a good hearted way). My wife is the best decision I ever made, much better than my porsche or any car or anything else. For those of you that can't appreciate where I'm coming from on that, I hope that some day you meet a really wonderful person and spend the rest of your lives with them. For those of you that can, well, you know what I mean.
If my wife would like the car in some other color than Guards Red, she can have it and I'd fight to the death and spend my last dollar and ounce of energy, blood, sweat and tears to make it that way. Quite frankly, if she wants anything that I can't give her, I'd fight to the death trying and spend my last dollar and ounce of energy, blood sweat and tears trying to give it to her. That's not being a weenie or anything - that's the investment I'm willing to make for the wonderful woman who gave me the privilege of spending her life with me. You may feel differently about your relationship or choose to express it differently or not at all, and I respect that totally.
She loves the car because it makes me happy, but I think the red is just more than she can take. I don't fully understand the reason for that, but that's the way it is. I had hoped that you guys would give me a clear "don't paint it/buy another" (I particularly like the TT idea, but was thinking more of a C4S in some other color than GR). I suppose I got that, but I also got a few more suggestions, obviously. While I appreciate the wide range of input, some of it went well beyond what to do about the wonderful 993 that I bought in a color that's less than my wife's favorite.
I did learn several things from your posts though:
1) There are many who read this board more than once per day - I don't. She hasn't taken my computer or whatever the, quite frankly, very frustrating remark was about that.
2) I will not repaint my car and will view this as an opportunity to buy another that both she and I can appreciate. Hence the title of the post -- "WTS (and WTB)."
3) Whoever had the idea to involve her in the buying process had a good idea. I didn't involve her that deeply in the last process, but will next time. Very good idea - thanks very much. She likes the car (other than the color) very much - we have several friends with newer and older p-cars and she definitely appreciates the nuance of the 993. She simply doesn't like the color.
4) People don't read posts very closely. I never said that she wanted me to sell it - I only said that she didn't like to ride in it due to the color and I was trying to figure out what to do so that she would ride in it.
5) Cowboy up? Get some *****? I'd rather have my wife involved in one of the most enjoyable parts of my life (the p-car) than not and I have enough cowboy ***** or whatever other genitalia or body parts are required to state that publicly. Different people have different relationships - I'd like her to be involved in this part of my life. Your relationship may be different with your spouse and how they participate in the p-car part of your life, and that's fine. I doubt though that whatever aspects of our lives we choose to involve our spouses in (or not) is even remotely related to any particular physical attribute.
I've watched you guys engage in flame wars and get folks angry at one another and I never thought I'd be there. I couldn't believe people had the capacity to evoke such anger through posts that involve, for the most part, just cars.
I was wrong.
Hound Dog
I'm asking this with complete respect for your relationship with your wife:
If it's the one YOU always wanted, why would she care if the color makes her uncomfortable? It's only a color. And It's the one you always wanted.
Wouldn't she be as considerate of your feelings and what makes you happy, as you obviously are of hers?
02-28-2007, 10:41 AM
#63
Rennlist Member
Hound Dog,
More power to you!
If the toughest relationship issue you ever face is a case of GRphobia, then life is pretty smooth sailing. As 993_Pilot said, if there is a lesson to be learned, it is one of mutual involvement in major purchases .... even if they are of a more personal 'guy -car' nature.
I've always engaged my SO in such decisions: the negotiation process may result in a mutual
conclusion - but I have been known to settle for a grudging 
acceptance: At least, we both know which way the train is headed beforehand.
FWIW, GR would be near the bottom of the list of colour selections for my SO too ... so no big deal, we all have our preferences. As it stands, she is absolutely nuts about the car, and the results of the 'slippery slope' addiction.
Midnight blue worked here .... so what is next for you two?
More power to you!
If the toughest relationship issue you ever face is a case of GRphobia, then life is pretty smooth sailing. As 993_Pilot said, if there is a lesson to be learned, it is one of mutual involvement in major purchases .... even if they are of a more personal 'guy -car' nature.I've always engaged my SO in such decisions: the negotiation process may result in a mutual
conclusion - but I have been known to settle for a grudging acceptance: At least, we both know which way the train is headed beforehand.FWIW, GR would be near the bottom of the list of colour selections for my SO too ... so no big deal, we all have our preferences. As it stands, she is absolutely nuts about the car, and the results of the 'slippery slope' addiction.
Midnight blue worked here .... so what is next for you two?
02-28-2007, 01:36 PM
#64
Escapee
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Hey Hound Dog,
I was one of the macho guys that suggested to upgrade the wife. It was definitely done in jest. I kid my wife much the same way and she takes it with a grain of salt. Having said that, I remember when I bought my first 911. It was an 89 Cab with a Carrera tail. She liked the car but asked "what are we going to do about that "THING" on the back?". I pointed out that I am a "tail" person (that's why I married her
) and the tail stays. She gave me the "LOOK" and we just left it at that.
Last week, I sold the 89, tail & all, and got the silver 993 cab with the "fixed wing delete" option and my wife delivered the same "LOOK" and spouted off "where is the wing?". I indicated that these come from the factory with a retractable spoiler and that a fixed wing is an aftermarket option unless you buy the Turbo coup. She gave me the "LOOK" again and we carried on. The moral of the story is that I know she will get used to it and that the problem is she doesn't like "different" as opposed to she doesn't like the car. I don't know if this issue is the same as you have. I know that my wife would hate yellow or some other loud color because she likes to remain "off the radar" so to speak. As you, I love my wife very much and would do anything to keep her happy (except maybe get my vasectomy reversed
). Good luck finding the right car to make both of you happy.
Regards,
I was one of the macho guys that suggested to upgrade the wife. It was definitely done in jest. I kid my wife much the same way and she takes it with a grain of salt. Having said that, I remember when I bought my first 911. It was an 89 Cab with a Carrera tail. She liked the car but asked "what are we going to do about that "THING" on the back?". I pointed out that I am a "tail" person (that's why I married her
) and the tail stays. She gave me the "LOOK" and we just left it at that. Last week, I sold the 89, tail & all, and got the silver 993 cab with the "fixed wing delete" option and my wife delivered the same "LOOK" and spouted off "where is the wing?". I indicated that these come from the factory with a retractable spoiler and that a fixed wing is an aftermarket option unless you buy the Turbo coup. She gave me the "LOOK" again and we carried on. The moral of the story is that I know she will get used to it and that the problem is she doesn't like "different" as opposed to she doesn't like the car. I don't know if this issue is the same as you have. I know that my wife would hate yellow or some other loud color because she likes to remain "off the radar" so to speak. As you, I love my wife very much and would do anything to keep her happy (except maybe get my vasectomy reversed
). Good luck finding the right car to make both of you happy.Regards,
Last edited by CN; 02-28-2007 at 02:23 PM.
02-28-2007, 02:33 PM
#66
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I feel for you Hound Dog, what with the initial GR problem and now with all the "advise" that you have been offered it sounds to me that your decision is going to be even harder than before you posed the question to the RL community.
All I can say (from experience) is that if my wife is passionately against anything in my life it is never based on logic, the most common reason being a bad experience that she has had in her life before she met me. The frustrating aspect of this is that on 90% of occasions she will not explain the reasons for her bias, so depending on my mood I either tell her (nicely) to "put up or shut up" or alternatively accept the reason given and change my tack. The downside is that I have a daughter of 12 who is very close to her mum, so now I am faced with the wife's prejudices being readily adopted by my daughter who along with the missus now refuses to join in with any of my outdoor interests, like weekend racing, camping & sailing.
I think you need to be aware, like I have found, that this may just be the tip of the iceberg and the decision may come back to haunt you later, but if (as I suspect) you are adamant that you want to change the car to please the wife I think the least that you can do is expect a full and honest explaination of why she hates the color as I could not accept "I just don't like it" as sufficient grounds for changing a car I liked as much as you obviously do.
I hope this helps, but either way please keep seeing the funny side and good luck with your decision.
All I can say (from experience) is that if my wife is passionately against anything in my life it is never based on logic, the most common reason being a bad experience that she has had in her life before she met me. The frustrating aspect of this is that on 90% of occasions she will not explain the reasons for her bias, so depending on my mood I either tell her (nicely) to "put up or shut up" or alternatively accept the reason given and change my tack. The downside is that I have a daughter of 12 who is very close to her mum, so now I am faced with the wife's prejudices being readily adopted by my daughter who along with the missus now refuses to join in with any of my outdoor interests, like weekend racing, camping & sailing.
I think you need to be aware, like I have found, that this may just be the tip of the iceberg and the decision may come back to haunt you later, but if (as I suspect) you are adamant that you want to change the car to please the wife I think the least that you can do is expect a full and honest explaination of why she hates the color as I could not accept "I just don't like it" as sufficient grounds for changing a car I liked as much as you obviously do.
I hope this helps, but either way please keep seeing the funny side and good luck with your decision.
02-28-2007, 03:28 PM
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I've had my car for nine months and have been begging my wife to drive it ever since (everytime we drive together, which is maybe every other month). I enjoy it so much that I want her to experiece it as well (like other things in life). She drives our 3-series Bimmer with a stiff suspension and short shifter so I'd like to think she would appreciate the tactile feedback of the P-car. But, for some reason (I can't get anything more than "I don't want to!") she won't set foot in the driver's seat. If she drove it one time and then decided it wasn't for her, I'd understand. But it chaps my hide that she won't do me the pleasure of at least once rowing through the gears a few times herself. Maybe some night out together I'll have to get drunk to force her to drive me home. 
02-28-2007, 04:13 PM
#68
When I was about 35 my then wife said you are not getting a motorcycle. My reply was I do not need anyone else's permission. Of course I am divorced now and it cost enough to easily buy a Ferrari Enzo. So why did you even ask our opionion? Who cares what we think?
02-28-2007, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted by carcommander
When I was about 35 my then wife said you are not getting a motorcycle. My reply was I do not need anyone else's permission. Of course I am divorced now and it cost enough to easily buy a Ferrari Enzo. So why did you even ask our opionion? Who cares what we think?
02-28-2007, 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by carcommander
When I was about 35 my then wife said you are not getting a motorcycle. My reply was I do not need anyone else's permission. Of course I am divorced now and it cost enough to easily buy a Ferrari Enzo. So why did you even ask our opionion? Who cares what we think?
Enzo?? no problem
mistress? no problem
motorcycle? NFW
02-28-2007, 05:21 PM
#71
Rennlist Member
Originally Posted by Hound Dog
I had no idea I would prompt this much of a response. I had supposed that you folks may have dealt with spouses/significant others that had issues with your p-car and would share your insights. Thank you to all of those who did. Several of you though chose to share other thoughts for which I am less grateful.
Those telling me to lose my wife and similar suggestions, however good hearted (and I will assume that they were good hearted), can go jump in a lake (in a good hearted way). My wife is the best decision I ever made, much better than my porsche or any car or anything else. For those of you that can't appreciate where I'm coming from on that, I hope that some day you meet a really wonderful person and spend the rest of your lives with them. For those of you that can, well, you know what I mean.
If my wife would like the car in some other color than Guards Red, she can have it and I'd fight to the death and spend my last dollar and ounce of energy, blood, sweat and tears to make it that way. Quite frankly, if she wants anything that I can't give her, I'd fight to the death trying and spend my last dollar and ounce of energy, blood sweat and tears trying to give it to her. That's not being a weenie or anything - that's the investment I'm willing to make for the wonderful woman who gave me the privilege of spending her life with me. You may feel differently about your relationship or choose to express it differently or not at all, and I respect that totally.
She loves the car because it makes me happy, but I think the red is just more than she can take. I don't fully understand the reason for that, but that's the way it is. I had hoped that you guys would give me a clear "don't paint it/buy another" (I particularly like the TT idea, but was thinking more of a C4S in some other color than GR). I suppose I got that, but I also got a few more suggestions, obviously. While I appreciate the wide range of input, some of it went well beyond what to do about the wonderful 993 that I bought in a color that's less than my wife's favorite.
I did learn several things from your posts though:
1) There are many who read this board more than once per day - I don't. She hasn't taken my computer or whatever the, quite frankly, very frustrating remark was about that.
2) I will not repaint my car and will view this as an opportunity to buy another that both she and I can appreciate. Hence the title of the post -- "WTS (and WTB)."
3) Whoever had the idea to involve her in the buying process had a good idea. I didn't involve her that deeply in the last process, but will next time. Very good idea - thanks very much. She likes the car (other than the color) very much - we have several friends with newer and older p-cars and she definitely appreciates the nuance of the 993. She simply doesn't like the color.
4) People don't read posts very closely. I never said that she wanted me to sell it - I only said that she didn't like to ride in it due to the color and I was trying to figure out what to do so that she would ride in it.
5) Cowboy up? Get some *****? I'd rather have my wife involved in one of the most enjoyable parts of my life (the p-car) than not and I have enough cowboy ***** or whatever other genitalia or body parts are required to state that publicly. Different people have different relationships - I'd like her to be involved in this part of my life. Your relationship may be different with your spouse and how they participate in the p-car part of your life, and that's fine. I doubt though that whatever aspects of our lives we choose to involve our spouses in (or not) is even remotely related to any particular physical attribute.
I've watched you guys engage in flame wars and get folks angry at one another and I never thought I'd be there. I couldn't believe people had the capacity to evoke such anger through posts that involve, for the most part, just cars.
I was wrong.
Hound Dog
Those telling me to lose my wife and similar suggestions, however good hearted (and I will assume that they were good hearted), can go jump in a lake (in a good hearted way). My wife is the best decision I ever made, much better than my porsche or any car or anything else. For those of you that can't appreciate where I'm coming from on that, I hope that some day you meet a really wonderful person and spend the rest of your lives with them. For those of you that can, well, you know what I mean.
If my wife would like the car in some other color than Guards Red, she can have it and I'd fight to the death and spend my last dollar and ounce of energy, blood, sweat and tears to make it that way. Quite frankly, if she wants anything that I can't give her, I'd fight to the death trying and spend my last dollar and ounce of energy, blood sweat and tears trying to give it to her. That's not being a weenie or anything - that's the investment I'm willing to make for the wonderful woman who gave me the privilege of spending her life with me. You may feel differently about your relationship or choose to express it differently or not at all, and I respect that totally.
She loves the car because it makes me happy, but I think the red is just more than she can take. I don't fully understand the reason for that, but that's the way it is. I had hoped that you guys would give me a clear "don't paint it/buy another" (I particularly like the TT idea, but was thinking more of a C4S in some other color than GR). I suppose I got that, but I also got a few more suggestions, obviously. While I appreciate the wide range of input, some of it went well beyond what to do about the wonderful 993 that I bought in a color that's less than my wife's favorite.
I did learn several things from your posts though:
1) There are many who read this board more than once per day - I don't. She hasn't taken my computer or whatever the, quite frankly, very frustrating remark was about that.
2) I will not repaint my car and will view this as an opportunity to buy another that both she and I can appreciate. Hence the title of the post -- "WTS (and WTB)."
3) Whoever had the idea to involve her in the buying process had a good idea. I didn't involve her that deeply in the last process, but will next time. Very good idea - thanks very much. She likes the car (other than the color) very much - we have several friends with newer and older p-cars and she definitely appreciates the nuance of the 993. She simply doesn't like the color.
4) People don't read posts very closely. I never said that she wanted me to sell it - I only said that she didn't like to ride in it due to the color and I was trying to figure out what to do so that she would ride in it.
5) Cowboy up? Get some *****? I'd rather have my wife involved in one of the most enjoyable parts of my life (the p-car) than not and I have enough cowboy ***** or whatever other genitalia or body parts are required to state that publicly. Different people have different relationships - I'd like her to be involved in this part of my life. Your relationship may be different with your spouse and how they participate in the p-car part of your life, and that's fine. I doubt though that whatever aspects of our lives we choose to involve our spouses in (or not) is even remotely related to any particular physical attribute.
I've watched you guys engage in flame wars and get folks angry at one another and I never thought I'd be there. I couldn't believe people had the capacity to evoke such anger through posts that involve, for the most part, just cars.
I was wrong.
Hound Dog
Looks like there are many definitions of "good" out there though. To each their own.
I know I'd prefer my wife like "my" cars and she does. The 993 is even GR. During the buying process if she had said the color was a no-go I'd have shopped around a bit more. Seems fair enough, especially since she is very cool about all of my hobbies that tend to cost 10X more than hers.
Now, if she told me she hates Vesuvio Met... then there'd be trouble
Good luck with the search!
02-28-2007, 05:25 PM
#72
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Originally Posted by carcommander
When I was about 35 my then wife said you are not getting a motorcycle. My reply was I do not need anyone else's permission. Of course I am divorced now and it cost enough to easily buy a Ferrari Enzo. So why did you even ask our opionion? Who cares what we think?
"So, I'm considering selling it and getting another of almost any other color (something in the silver family preferred, but I'm not too terribly picky about it - she is).
Any thoughts? What would it cost to repaint the entire thing (the right way) and would that trash the resale value? I love the car, but I'd prefer it if my wife would ride in it without a disguise."
