Normy

That's a good list Doc...

I'd only add one thing: NO matter WHO the mechanic was that worked on your car [even if it was DEVEK], I'd still do a thorough "pre-flight" inspection on your car before leaving the shop. My loose caliper bolts saw nearly 1000 miles of 80+ mph driving before I noticed them. Would I be here to type this if that caliper had come loose from the hub at those speeds?

N!

Greg86andahalf

I one started my car with the flywheel lock still in place. Made an interesting noise.

Flywheel locks are a softer metal than flyweels. (good thing)

No damage to the flywheel, but the lock teeth were shaved a bit and it is now useless.

And no, I'm NOT going to sell int on Ebay as a "slightly used and worn" flywheel lock in great condiditon.!!

Greg

dr bob

This brings up an interesting point. Hans and Fritz both used a paint marker to identify bolts and things that had been checked and passed QC for torque. Not a bad idea at all, really, for us home technicians. The local Rite-Aid sells cheapo nail polish in various colors, enough that you can choose a color for each major session. Torqued that bolt? A spot of paint, please.

Another post talks about parts/tools left on the car. The flywheel lock attaches where the slave cylinder goes on a 5spd car, and a similar spot that has a cover and two bolts on the automatic car. That cover and the bolts still in the parts pan are a tipoff. Plus, it's not a bad idea to do a tool inventory periodically while you are working, and especially before you close. I know, it's late, I'm in hurry, but...

-- Surgeons and the OR staff get to the point of counting sponges and retractors as they work. Do the same with your 'patient' as you work.

-- A prominent 928 racer had oil pressure problems when a paper-towel "stuffer" ended up in the sump, partially blocking the suction strainer. Two guys working on the car, no telltales on the galley stuffers, and that happens. No permanent damage but lost a few racing sessions. And these are the good guys!

-- At a recent tech gathering, our host offered up a new set of bolts for the oil sump, a bolt at a time. In my opinion, it's easier to organise bolts and use them to keep track of progress. Adding another set to the mix screws up the system.

-- Many problems like these happen when two or more folks are working on the project, each with slightly different standards. Who pulled that apart? Is the same person putting it back together?

-- ALWAYS use the torque wrench. There's a reason why Ebeneezer Torque invented the thing, that's to use it on stuff that you don't want to have problems with. Porsche has gone through the trouble of spec'ing torque vaues for every single bolt on the car except some of the trim bits. Those same standards of quality are easily maintained when you work on the car. Plus your calipers might not fall off. Even the inexpensive click wrenches from places like Harbor Freight will do fine for most common jobs. Definitely better than none at all.

-- Use Never-Seize (in whatever flavor you like) when you have different metals connecting. If it doesn't require sealer or Lok-Tite, it should have lubrication. Never-Seize is a combination of oil and soap to make a very thin grease, plus some metal additives that persist after the grease runs out. Most are lead-based, some are aluminum, some are copper. The lead stuff works on almost everything, except where there may be an issue of galvanic corrosion in a joint. Porsche recommends the copper, for instance, for the tapered faces on the wheel lugs. Hmmmm. That's an aluminum lug nut against an aluminum wheel. Oh well, there are rules and there are rules.

-- Keep a clean shop. Clean up your spills right away, not just a handful of kitty litter and "I'll get that later." Keep your tools clean. A plastic busket with dishwashing detergent in it does a great job on most hand tools, and the results can be sent down the drain safely. Dirt, crud, stray kitty-litter, etc, all seem to find a way into whatever you are working on. At my old house, I seemed to have dog hair everywhere thanks to my Bulgarian Weaselhound. Sweep and mop before, during and after a project, and you'll discover the bits that fell out of your hand and went "clink" on the way through to the floor.

-- If it doesn't fall all the way to the floor, you need to go find it. Bolts have wedged into the oddest places and caused amazing damage, often weeks after the repair was 'completed'. A set of magnets on sticks, flexible grabbers, those Polynesian ball grabber things, all are there to help you find the pieces that you drop, pieces that will otherwise trash your work for you.

-- Use a parts tray for all the small bits. I like to pull out a folding work table, a piece of all-weather carpet to protect it, and use it to hold stuff as it comes off the car. Nuts and bolts that go with a particular piece are cleaned and maybe even bagged with that piece for later reassembly and accounting. The carpet goes into the washing machine if it's grimy when all is done. We have a dedicated washing machine for car and cleaning stuff, by the way. Otherwise you get to run the thing twice, second time empty except for detergent. Aluminum pie trays and some cheap little bread pans are great for organizing parts too.

-- Coveralls limit the spread of car slime. Gotta dash off to the parts store? Slip outta the coveralls and it's OK to sit in the wife's Toyota. Or, you will end up doing a whole-car detail as penance. There is no way to just clean a spot on a cloth seat.

-- Consider steel-toe safety shoes when you are doing heavy stuff. They are cheap at places like Wal-Mart, and not too uncomfortable if you add some good insoles. The soles are oil proof, they can be cleaned easily, and you won't trash your good Nike's. Oh-- they will save your toes if you happen to drop something heavy on them.

-- NEVER carry tools in your pockets. That handy screwdriver in your back pocket will make junk out of a sport seat in a second when you jump in to change the radio station. Oh wait, the battery was disconnected before you started the project, right? No radio!

-- Finish the job you start. Jobs put off for a day will be put off for a month or maybe forever. No reason to be driving around with wiring hanging out from the dash, or half the hood polished and waxed. Every job takes at least twice as long as you thought it would, and that frequently gets into the 4X territory with the 928. A fifteen-minute oil change takes an hour, if for no other reason than you find some other little thing to do while the belly pan is off. And don't forget to change the oil when that's what you went in there for in the first place.

-- ALWAYS wear proper eye protection. I wear glasses all the time so there's some basic protection from crud that falls into my face. You can get safety glasses at lots of places, including home centers. Any power tool work deserves goggles, and maybe a face shield too. Eyes are non-replaceable, and there's just no forgiveness if you make a mistake.


Keep 'em coming!

Kevin Q

Here's one more. While working under an MGB this guy's wrench shorts the contacts on the starter solenoid. Battery not disconected and tranny in gear. The car jumped off the stands but luckily others in the gargage saved him.

Warren928

Built a new 400 hp small block chevy, ran it for a couple days and then decided to put a quart marvel mystery oil into the crankcase and then run it hard. I was thinking about all the wonderful benefits of this stuff, but my friend didnt completely explain how to use it and I figured I knew. Didnt read the fine print how how it was supposed to be used. Spun a rod bearing in an hour. BUMMER, but I was 18, should have learned, but nooooo.

Okay, now I was 26, building a 950 sf garage on my first house. Got permit but changed plan of roofline after approval. Faxed it to inpector and got a verbal approval, never just get a verbal approval. Built garage, inspector like it but his boss didnt, his lawyer was all over it in a weeks time, long story short I spent $6000 to tear the roof off and put a new one on. Also I relied on a steel stake for my property line, turns out the previous owner moved it because his fence was on my neighbors property. I should have gotten a surveyor beforehand but the town made me pay for one upon a variance (which was denied), I am lucky the town didnt make me move the whole F##% garage!

Moved from my home, friends and a successful business in IL because my wife wanted to be closer to her family. (Usually means she needs somebody besides you!! ). Im in the sticks now, business is marginal at best, and she wants a divorce and still is unhappy. Okay, just give ME the trophy for dumbass of the year!

adam928

I did a not so serious but kind of funny one a while ago...

I was doing the TT job I had to remove the gearbox and rear axle. We where two working on the car... That really helps most of the time but sometimes it can be kind of distracting having someone to talk to during the wrenching.

Well.. I started to realease the bolts on the toe adjusting things. They where tightened hard so I had to sit on the ground with my feet on the car and pull for "king and country" so to speak. I managed to get the first one loose and changed side of the car... Sat down on the ground and started to pull...

...and I pulled.... and I pulled... darn that nut was tight... pulling some more and *POFF*... I broke the %&## nut.

Changing sides of the car I didnt realise that I couldnt "pull" the wrench anymore but rather push...

Pfunde

Was looking into electrical problem, and could't get printer to work, so I took my laptop with me in the garage, put a blanket on the roof of the 928, and put laptop on top . Must have polished too much on roof, cause laptop came down on the other side of the roof thus making a huge dent in drivers door . Fix was new paintjob, the previous was 8 ( eight ) days old !!!!!!!!!!!!

M. Requin

I know it means I'm poorly socialized but this is at the top of my personal list: I work alone so I can concentrate (hmm, might say something about my mental powers, or lack thereof, as well). And to dr bob's well thought out list I would add only this observation (certainly not a rule):

The least used tools in your box should be your adjustable wrenches and your vise grips. Use the tool that fits properly- it will save a lot of headache. I used to tell mechanics in my bike shop that catching them using an adjustable wrench on a customer's bike was grounds for dismissal, and I wasn't kidding. Should have gotten a cut from the Snap-On guy for that...

M. Requin

And just in case my last post sounded a little too holier-than-thou, this from the archives of been there-screwed up that: r/r-ing the starter motor on my XJ-40 a few months ago, got it all back together after a real PITA few hours, checked parts tray for extras (good rule, usually), all ok, turned key and nothing. Since I had obviously done everything right it had to be a bad new starter motor or the equivalent. An hour break with my favorite iced beverage and I couldn't think of anything else, so decided to actually take a look. Helps to connect battery- I had just loosely spun on the nut on the terminal, which was why it wasn't in the parts tray, which was why I didn't think of it right away, etc. etc.

LTCMontana

I found this in my archives and thought it was aplicable:

1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your coffee across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

2. WIRE WHEEL - (insert into drill): Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "SH**!!!"

3. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

4. PLIERS: Used to round off hexagonal bolt heads.

5. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle: It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

6. VISE GRIP PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

7. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for setting various flammable objects in your workshop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a wheel hub you're trying to get the bearing race out of.

8. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2" socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.

9. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

10. EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 4X4: Used to attempt to lever an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.

11. TWEEZERS: A tool for removing splinters of wood, especially Douglas fir.

12. TELEPHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

13. SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for removing dog faeces from your boots.

14. E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

15. TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of bolts and fuel lines you forgot to disconnect.

16. CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.

17. AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

18. TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin", which is not otherwise found under bikes at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading (apart from the first bit).

19. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and squirt oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off the interiors of Phillips screw heads.

20. AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to an Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 80 years ago by someone at Honda, and rounds them off.

21. PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

22. HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.

23. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

24. STANLEY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing upholstered items, leather jackets, chrome-plated metal, plastic parts and the other hand not holding the knife.

karl ruiter

Here's another important safety tip: never get gas in your ear. I've had it in my eyes, my mouth, my crotch, my underarms, etc. Those are all painfull, but the the single most painful experience in my life was getting gas in my ear. Worse than coming off a jump on a motoX bike and slapping the tank. Worse than a burst appendex. And to top it off: everyone laughs at you.
How, you might ask, could you get gas in your ear? Simple. You are under the car and tug on a fuel line. You see it start to come apart and you turn you head to avoid getting it in your eyes/mouth/nose. Big mistake.

M. Requin

Thanks guys, this was a welcome break from putting in fence posts this AM!

Big Dave

Brings back memories....

Warren928

Fortunately for most of us, our follies dont equal our eventual successes. For the ones who do, how did you get a 928 in the first place?


Since my last post on this thread in 2004, I started gauging my life's progress like a board game.

From high school graduation----------
1990 to 1996 steps forward
1997-98- stay in place
1999- step back
2000- step forward
2001- step back
2002- step forward
2003 stay in place
2004 was a step back
2005- step forward
2006- stay in place
2007- step forward.

SteveG

968 in Iraq: I hope you are NOT in Iraq now and if you are that you get home safe and soon.