Roger's Ode to Breakfast
11-03-2011, 11:35 PM
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Roger's Ode to Breakfast
BACON AND EGGS
NOW blest be the Briton, his beef and his beer,
And all the strong waters that keep him in cheer,
But blest beyond cattle and blest beyond kegs
Is the brave British breakfast of bacon and eggs—
Bacon and eggs,
Bacon and eggs;
Sing bacon,
Red bacon,
Red bacon and eggs!
Thus armed and thus engined, well-shaven and gay,
We leap to our labours and conquer the day,
While paltry pale foreigners, meagre as moles,
Must crawl through the morning on coffee and rolls—
Coffee and rolls,
Barbarous rolls;
Sing coffee,
Black coffee,
Vile coffee and rolls!
What wonder the Frenchman, blown out with new
bread, gesticulates oft and is light in the head !
Our perfect control of our arms and our legs
We owe to our ballast of bacon and eggs—
Bacon and eggs.
Unemotional eggs;
Sing bacon,
Fat bacon,
Brave bacon and eggs!
What wonder that Fortune is careful to place
Her loveliest laurels on men of our race,
While sorrow is heaped upon Prussians and Poles
Who shame the glad morning with coffee and rolls-
Coffee and rolls,
Ladylike rolls;
Sing coffee,
Pooh! coffee,
Black coffee and rolls!
What wonder the Russian looks redly because
Our England, old England, is much what it.was!
We fight to the finish, we drink to the dregs
And dare to be Daniels on bacon and eggs—
Bacon and eggs,
Masculine eggs;
'Sing bacon,
Bring bacon,
And fry me two eggs!
But gross Europeans who constantly munch
Too little at breakfast, too freely at lunch
Sit sated in cafes, incapable souls,
And go to the devil on coffee and rolls—
Coffee and rolls,
Windy wet rolls;
At coffee
I'm scoff y,
I execrate rolls!
O breakfast! O breakfast! The meal of my heart!
Bring porridge, bring sausage, bring fish for a start,
Bring kidneys and mushrooms and partridges' legs,
But let the foundation be bacon and eggs—
Bacon and eggs,
Bacon and eggs;
Bring Crisp bacon,
And let there be eggs!
NOW blest be the Briton, his beef and his beer,
And all the strong waters that keep him in cheer,
But blest beyond cattle and blest beyond kegs
Is the brave British breakfast of bacon and eggs—
Bacon and eggs,
Bacon and eggs;
Sing bacon,
Red bacon,
Red bacon and eggs!
Thus armed and thus engined, well-shaven and gay,
We leap to our labours and conquer the day,
While paltry pale foreigners, meagre as moles,
Must crawl through the morning on coffee and rolls—
Coffee and rolls,
Barbarous rolls;
Sing coffee,
Black coffee,
Vile coffee and rolls!
What wonder the Frenchman, blown out with new
bread, gesticulates oft and is light in the head !
Our perfect control of our arms and our legs
We owe to our ballast of bacon and eggs—
Bacon and eggs.
Unemotional eggs;
Sing bacon,
Fat bacon,
Brave bacon and eggs!
What wonder that Fortune is careful to place
Her loveliest laurels on men of our race,
While sorrow is heaped upon Prussians and Poles
Who shame the glad morning with coffee and rolls-
Coffee and rolls,
Ladylike rolls;
Sing coffee,
Pooh! coffee,
Black coffee and rolls!
What wonder the Russian looks redly because
Our England, old England, is much what it.was!
We fight to the finish, we drink to the dregs
And dare to be Daniels on bacon and eggs—
Bacon and eggs,
Masculine eggs;
'Sing bacon,
Bring bacon,
And fry me two eggs!
But gross Europeans who constantly munch
Too little at breakfast, too freely at lunch
Sit sated in cafes, incapable souls,
And go to the devil on coffee and rolls—
Coffee and rolls,
Windy wet rolls;
At coffee
I'm scoff y,
I execrate rolls!
O breakfast! O breakfast! The meal of my heart!
Bring porridge, bring sausage, bring fish for a start,
Bring kidneys and mushrooms and partridges' legs,
But let the foundation be bacon and eggs—
Bacon and eggs,
Bacon and eggs;
Bring Crisp bacon,
And let there be eggs!
11-04-2011, 11:12 AM
#4
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Does he sing this every morning before breakfast? how does he ever manage to find time to eat?...
However very good that...
For those of you who don't understand fully - 'bacon' in English referrs to a quite diifferent thing than 'bacon' in "American" - most of you have been short changed from birth - sorry about that...
Of course the same is true of beer and we didn't even get to the parts about Black Sausage, fried bread, mushrooms and cooked tomatoes yet...
Alan
However very good that...
For those of you who don't understand fully - 'bacon' in English referrs to a quite diifferent thing than 'bacon' in "American" - most of you have been short changed from birth - sorry about that...
Of course the same is true of beer and we didn't even get to the parts about Black Sausage, fried bread, mushrooms and cooked tomatoes yet...
Alan
11-04-2011, 11:58 AM
#5
Alan, don't forget to mention Spotted Dick.
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11-04-2011, 03:19 PM
#11
Rennlist Member
That's a great bit of doggerel. Thanks, Tom.
No hijack nor disrespect meant, but here's another of my favorites.
http://monologues.co.uk/Les_Barker/Any_News_Iceberg.htm
On a cold rainy night on a Liverpool quayside
In the years before the great war
The world was in shock at the loss of Titanic,
So proud had they been days before:
Relatives gathered for news of their loved ones,
To read through the list of the dead,
When into the throng came a sad eyed old polar bear:
And to the clerk at the counter he said:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
My family were on it you see:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
They mean the whole world to me.
My wife and my children were coming from Greenland,
To be by my side in the zoo:
Belinda's my wife, and the eldest's called Bernard:
And Billy, well, he's only two.
I know on the ship there were hundreds of people,
And I know that the iceberg's not yours:
The polar bear's eyes held the start of his teardrops:
He covered his face with his paws.
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
My family were on it you see:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
They mean the whole world to me.
It's been over a year since I last saw my children,
I left home to build a career:
I've worked very hard, I'm a star in the circus:
It's all been for nothing I fear.
There's my face on the poster: we're in town this week:
My children were meeting me here:
Everyone watched as he struggled to speak,
As his paw brushed away one more tear:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
My family were on it you see:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
They mean the whole world to me.
By now all the people had gathered beside him,
His grief was one they could share:
The people around him, in silence and sadness
Listened to the sad polar bear
I wanted my children to see me performing:
And Belinda, she would have been proud..
At last lost for words, and his tears flowing freely,
The question was asked by the crowd:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
My family were on it you see:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
They mean the whole world to me.
No hijack nor disrespect meant, but here's another of my favorites.
http://monologues.co.uk/Les_Barker/Any_News_Iceberg.htm
On a cold rainy night on a Liverpool quayside
In the years before the great war
The world was in shock at the loss of Titanic,
So proud had they been days before:
Relatives gathered for news of their loved ones,
To read through the list of the dead,
When into the throng came a sad eyed old polar bear:
And to the clerk at the counter he said:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
My family were on it you see:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
They mean the whole world to me.
My wife and my children were coming from Greenland,
To be by my side in the zoo:
Belinda's my wife, and the eldest's called Bernard:
And Billy, well, he's only two.
I know on the ship there were hundreds of people,
And I know that the iceberg's not yours:
The polar bear's eyes held the start of his teardrops:
He covered his face with his paws.
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
My family were on it you see:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
They mean the whole world to me.
It's been over a year since I last saw my children,
I left home to build a career:
I've worked very hard, I'm a star in the circus:
It's all been for nothing I fear.
There's my face on the poster: we're in town this week:
My children were meeting me here:
Everyone watched as he struggled to speak,
As his paw brushed away one more tear:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
My family were on it you see:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
They mean the whole world to me.
By now all the people had gathered beside him,
His grief was one they could share:
The people around him, in silence and sadness
Listened to the sad polar bear
I wanted my children to see me performing:
And Belinda, she would have been proud..
At last lost for words, and his tears flowing freely,
The question was asked by the crowd:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
My family were on it you see:
Have you got any news of the iceberg?
They mean the whole world to me.
