Porsches, Superchargers and Women.
10-14-2005 | 12:03 PM
#16
The Lady's Man
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From: south O.C. california
That all-consuming attitude is "Whats in it for me" is why I am not married anymore. House stuff, shoes, clothing, the nice car, ect. She expected (and took) everything and all I did was worry about how to pay for it. Nearly Bankrupted me a couple of times before I got smart. The Mad money accounts is a good idea. I wish I had the disposable income to play with my shark and buy it a supercharger. I envy you guys....looking to get a ride in one at Sharktoberfest hopefully.
10-14-2005 | 12:17 PM
#17
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DFWX wrote:
Stopped reading at this point -- Probably, but not necessarily, too many variables. "Everyone should know better than to make a statement like that."
HTML Code:
"Everyone would agree that an S4 is superior to an 86 1/2."
10-14-2005 | 12:41 PM
#18
Drifting
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From: Crownsville, MD
I've known this for years. I usually budget the same amount of my purchase for whatever my wife wants or will want. But its has gotten out of hand at times so we've instituted a new rule where by new purchases are preceded by selling off something of equal value so as not to have undo finacial hardship and/or more clutter. I see my old pickup truck, the Ninja and the rest of my astronomy gear heading out the door real soon.
10-14-2005 | 12:50 PM
#20
Drifting
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From: Crownsville, MD
Im saving it to trade in on a Monster 1000 or S4R in a year or so. Besides, i just got the darn thing. Its too much fun. The Ninja goes last. My wife said divorce is immenent if i take up motorcycle racing, but i'd like to have it for a track bike. She didnt say nothing about track days... 
10-14-2005 | 01:10 PM
#21
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Why do some of us men get the ultimatum from our women regarding any additional upgrades, tools, toys and cars we get? They can always go and buy whatever they want and we give them a "good for you honey, nice choice." attitude without even yelling at them for spending money out of our joint accounts. Yet, when we buy an exhaust system, or a roll bar, they raise hell and silent treatments?
Thank God I'm single sometimes!
Thank God I'm single sometimes!
10-14-2005 | 01:15 PM
#22
Sharkaholic
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Originally Posted by SteveG
DFWX wrote:
Stopped reading at this point -- Probably, but not necessarily, too many variables. "Everyone should know better than to make a statement like that."
HTML Code:
"Everyone would agree that an S4 is superior to an 86 1/2."
I would have to agree with that one Steve!
And as far as the Mad money accounts that was the final solution that my wife and I came up with. Unfortunately for me I had not gotton into my Porsche addiction till after I had been married for four years. Otherwise I would have to think finding a like minded wife would have been a boone.
10-14-2005 | 01:15 PM
#23
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From: Maryland
Originally Posted by TheStig
Why do some of us men get the ultimatum from our women regarding any additional upgrades, tools, toys and cars we get?
10-14-2005 | 01:29 PM
#24
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Hey Don, I never said I did? Note also the 'thank god I'm still single' comment 
My garage has all the latest tools and my 944 and 928s are pampered better than I am!!
My garage has all the latest tools and my 944 and 928s are pampered better than I am!!
10-14-2005 | 01:58 PM
#25
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From: Philly
Originally Posted by DFWX
Hopefully this does not sound too "sexist", but I think is accurate at least 90%. A veteran (retired) small claims court judge and long time married (and divorced/remarried) limited budget car enthusiast has led to a decision basis on how to address a woman on performance cars.
No words can rationalize to your wife or girl friend why you just must spend thousands of dollars on a supercharger kit. She will listen and ultimately concede, but you did not actually convince her of anything.
But, then, I can not understand why 1,000 nick nacks are not enough, when we already have boxes and boxes of little statutes and stuff or why we really need 3 sets of curtains or exactly why replacing carpeting means replacing all the furniture and still another set of curtains too.
A book I read about the sexes that I actually think is accurate is the Women from Venus, Men from Mars book.
When you bring up the topic of spending thousands of dollars on a supercharger, the issue in her mind is "what's in this for me?" The answer, of course, is nothing - other than you will neglect other chores to put it on, it means thousands of dollars in stuff she wants and won't get, and more talk about that damn Porsche.
So forget about rationalizing it. You have to broker it. There has to be something in it for her.
Anytime I do (buy) something major for the Porsches - or another one - before and after I make sure she gets something out of it. For example, before asking about the S4 - though that to be hers (really hers too), I did a mini remodel of one of the bathrooms and the night of the deal went until after midnight removing and polishing (hours and hours) the BBS wheels on her 84 - that will go on her 88 S4. So she gets something out of it. And I am going to sell something, so I made a concession.
I have seen quite a few guys who get the wife a special car so that he can have his, but his cost more and it's her's that needs the paint or repair. So make sure she has the car SHE wants.
What does that mean? It means that to her mind her's is superior to yours. Everyone would agree that an S4 is superior to an 86 1/2. And a supercharged S4 a notably superior car, no? White is a clean, sharp color too, plus she'll get the better wing. Whether hers or mine is 0.5 seconds or 1 second or 2 second faster in the quarter mile means exactly nothing to her. Her S4 will always have a higher top speed (gear ratio) and therefore I can alway truthfully say "of course, yours is faster."
Even if mine has a turbo/supercharger combination, TEC3, runs on methanol, has 12 inch rubber, a completely replaced and custom drivetrain and is an 800 horsepower street-strip warrior - hers looks better, she will like hers better, and hers is "faster".
So get her that used Miata convertable or SUV or stationwagon or Jeep or whatever she wants and sure the paint and interior is pristine. As long as it starts and sounds right, she does not care one iota what's under the hood. Sure, you know the vehicle she wants sucks and is a bad decision, but that one isnt' about you. She's happy. Leave it at that.
Probably do not get her a 928 unless she really is a motorhead - and few women are (I am lucky enough to have one who is). Especially if it means you will spend all the time on yours and she doesn't really want one. Then it is just you having two 928s. It has to be HERS. I N-E-V-E-R drive her 928. Only a passenger. Except for it, there has never been a time that my wife picked out her car that I really throught it the wrong choice at a bad price.
So what? Is it REALLY a rational decision to spend thousands of dollars on a supercharger to put on a 928 that cost 5 times as much as it's same year GM economy box costs? The speed limit is 70/75, no? Nor can you ever possibly get your $$ back. Performance parts and work is just like that - always has been and always will be.
The secret is to make sure that there is something in it for her - something tangible and something she believes is superior to whatever you are getting to her measure. And you can have what you want too, including peace and quiet.
Whether you 928 is worth more than your marriage probably is whether children are involved in this to be candid. There are far more women than 928s. But, then, divorce ain't cheap and us guys do get ripped in court, no? Cheaper to buy her a new sofa or a used what-ever silly vehicle she wants.
It took years and a divorce to finally realize some simple facts. If I want to buy hundreds of dollars in tools, it best to first bring home hundreds of dollars in furniture. If I am going to spend more $$ on my car, I better spend more apparent time making her's look good. It's actually that simple and obvious.
I doubt I am the only one who went I want to spend the next hundreds or thousands of car dollars also must address the question of "what's she gonna say about this?" I try to get ahead of that question with something in it for her. After all, it is "our" money, not just mine.
Mark
DFWX
No words can rationalize to your wife or girl friend why you just must spend thousands of dollars on a supercharger kit. She will listen and ultimately concede, but you did not actually convince her of anything.
But, then, I can not understand why 1,000 nick nacks are not enough, when we already have boxes and boxes of little statutes and stuff or why we really need 3 sets of curtains or exactly why replacing carpeting means replacing all the furniture and still another set of curtains too.
A book I read about the sexes that I actually think is accurate is the Women from Venus, Men from Mars book.
When you bring up the topic of spending thousands of dollars on a supercharger, the issue in her mind is "what's in this for me?" The answer, of course, is nothing - other than you will neglect other chores to put it on, it means thousands of dollars in stuff she wants and won't get, and more talk about that damn Porsche.
So forget about rationalizing it. You have to broker it. There has to be something in it for her.
Anytime I do (buy) something major for the Porsches - or another one - before and after I make sure she gets something out of it. For example, before asking about the S4 - though that to be hers (really hers too), I did a mini remodel of one of the bathrooms and the night of the deal went until after midnight removing and polishing (hours and hours) the BBS wheels on her 84 - that will go on her 88 S4. So she gets something out of it. And I am going to sell something, so I made a concession.
I have seen quite a few guys who get the wife a special car so that he can have his, but his cost more and it's her's that needs the paint or repair. So make sure she has the car SHE wants.
What does that mean? It means that to her mind her's is superior to yours. Everyone would agree that an S4 is superior to an 86 1/2. And a supercharged S4 a notably superior car, no? White is a clean, sharp color too, plus she'll get the better wing. Whether hers or mine is 0.5 seconds or 1 second or 2 second faster in the quarter mile means exactly nothing to her. Her S4 will always have a higher top speed (gear ratio) and therefore I can alway truthfully say "of course, yours is faster."
Even if mine has a turbo/supercharger combination, TEC3, runs on methanol, has 12 inch rubber, a completely replaced and custom drivetrain and is an 800 horsepower street-strip warrior - hers looks better, she will like hers better, and hers is "faster".
So get her that used Miata convertable or SUV or stationwagon or Jeep or whatever she wants and sure the paint and interior is pristine. As long as it starts and sounds right, she does not care one iota what's under the hood. Sure, you know the vehicle she wants sucks and is a bad decision, but that one isnt' about you. She's happy. Leave it at that.
Probably do not get her a 928 unless she really is a motorhead - and few women are (I am lucky enough to have one who is). Especially if it means you will spend all the time on yours and she doesn't really want one. Then it is just you having two 928s. It has to be HERS. I N-E-V-E-R drive her 928. Only a passenger. Except for it, there has never been a time that my wife picked out her car that I really throught it the wrong choice at a bad price.
So what? Is it REALLY a rational decision to spend thousands of dollars on a supercharger to put on a 928 that cost 5 times as much as it's same year GM economy box costs? The speed limit is 70/75, no? Nor can you ever possibly get your $$ back. Performance parts and work is just like that - always has been and always will be.
The secret is to make sure that there is something in it for her - something tangible and something she believes is superior to whatever you are getting to her measure. And you can have what you want too, including peace and quiet.
Whether you 928 is worth more than your marriage probably is whether children are involved in this
to be candid. There are far more women than 928s. But, then, divorce ain't cheap and us guys do get ripped in court, no? Cheaper to buy her a new sofa or a used what-ever silly vehicle she wants.It took years and a divorce to finally realize some simple facts. If I want to buy hundreds of dollars in tools, it best to first bring home hundreds of dollars in furniture. If I am going to spend more $$ on my car, I better spend more apparent time making her's look good. It's actually that simple and obvious.
I doubt I am the only one who went I want to spend the next hundreds or thousands of car dollars also must address the question of "what's she gonna say about this?" I try to get ahead of that question with something in it for her. After all, it is "our" money, not just mine.
Mark
DFWX
DFXW, you really need to come hang out with ole' snipe. There are a LOT of women that are way into going fast. I've even dated a few that actually helped me turn wrenches on my hotrods over the years.
10-14-2005 | 03:07 PM
#26
Drifting
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From: Los Angeles, CA
Well, my GF is not a car person, but the only problem I have to deal with, is that she is overly practical about money. So she does not see the point in spending on things like cars. But at least that means she does not spend money on frivilous things either. I get car stuff simply by saying that it is my money, and if I want to spend it on "stupid car stuff", I can... Again, as long as she gets the things she wants, and I am not complaining about being broke due to car expenses, she is generally fine. If I was saying that I did not have money for bills, and I was spending a lot on car stuff, then she would have a problem.
10-14-2005 | 04:05 PM
#27
Race Car
Joined: Mar 2005
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From: Fla
Years ago, when I wanted a 911, & tried to talk my wife into it over about a year with casual comments and attempts on my part to engage her in rational discussion, her reply was something not so diplomatic along the lines of "hell freezin over or there's always a bigger house to buy". But I finally talked her into test driving a 911 86 cab & afterwards she said " I could get used to that!".
Hmmm... things are lookin up! Well... about six months later, & me on a more diligent watch for a potential canidate.... just 4 days before Santa arrrived(& after I was already done with shopping for her), I spied a red 88 turbo coupe as I passed the dealer. I turned around with my son to look at it, which led to me seeing a gorgeous Linen 1990 911 cabriolet. Figured no way, it would be out of my budget. Didnt even know about tiptronic transmissions... some teenage boys there walking the lot with their dad had to tell me how that worked.. Hot Damn!!, you mean she can have an AUTO & I can still shift it!! The stars were definately beginning to line up!
Well..... figured I would approach it from the "buy it for her" angle, with her approval of course, cause I knew there would be no other way for me to have a prayer of talking her into agreement of such a luxury for us at the time, again especially with those bigger houses out there beckoning to be purchased. Well, I didnt make too big a deal about it, just talked her into going by & looking at it & she was hooked as soon as she saw the car. Of course so she could say I bought the car for her, that we bought it together, but bottom line it was "her car". It was a third vehicle...and in the five years we owned it I know I drove it more than she did, with her having first right of refusal anytime we both had a hankering to drive it.
Well, that can work both ways, .... 18 months ago, long after the 911 was gone & her knowing my incurable and eternal addiction to cars & especially Porsches, when I mentioned the 928 for sale not far from home & me "thinking" about looking at it, she encouraged me to do so.... then encouraged me to buy it. My response.. "Its a trick right?? a test of some kind??"... Her reasoning? As she put, if you are out in the garage working on the car I'll know where you are at!(not that I ever go anywhere!)... and she also said that I deserved it too.
Thus, as I have learned.... when it was time to do the car shuffel at our house again.... I repayed her a couple months later with a car of her dreams, an 04 BMW Z4 Roadster, I didnt even get to drive it for the first few weeks!.. Cause around my house, after 23 years of marital bliss(so Im told ), I've learned to let her have the better of the autos to drive. And thats ok too cause I do drive her 3.0 Roadster on occasion and its a blast, a real pocket rocket that handles great! And it also helps to accomplish my ultimate mission... to help her gravitate more and more to be a bit of a car nut like me. My hope of the trip to SITM was to help with increasing her attitude of the Shark being a special car & meet lots of great Shark owners(maybe to show her, "see, I'm not the only nut about these cars"! And it was 100% successful in that regard! Thanks for all the displays of extremely enthusiasm about your Sharks!
My final thoughts are the reality on my part that both cars and women will cost you one way or another, usually when you least expect it or can afford it. And they will get what they want IF you want to keep them, yes??
Hmmm... things are lookin up! Well... about six months later, & me on a more diligent watch for a potential canidate.... just 4 days before Santa arrrived(& after I was already done with shopping for her), I spied a red 88 turbo coupe as I passed the dealer. I turned around with my son to look at it, which led to me seeing a gorgeous Linen 1990 911 cabriolet. Figured no way, it would be out of my budget. Didnt even know about tiptronic transmissions... some teenage boys there walking the lot with their dad had to tell me how that worked.. Hot Damn!!, you mean she can have an AUTO & I can still shift it!! The stars were definately beginning to line up!
Well..... figured I would approach it from the "buy it for her" angle, with her approval of course, cause I knew there would be no other way for me to have a prayer of talking her into agreement of such a luxury for us at the time, again especially with those bigger houses out there beckoning to be purchased. Well, I didnt make too big a deal about it, just talked her into going by & looking at it & she was hooked as soon as she saw the car. Of course so she could say I bought the car for her, that we bought it together, but bottom line it was "her car". It was a third vehicle...and in the five years we owned it I know I drove it more than she did, with her having first right of refusal anytime we both had a hankering to drive it.
Well, that can work both ways, .... 18 months ago, long after the 911 was gone & her knowing my incurable and eternal addiction to cars & especially Porsches, when I mentioned the 928 for sale not far from home & me "thinking" about looking at it, she encouraged me to do so.... then encouraged me to buy it. My response.. "Its a trick right?? a test of some kind??"... Her reasoning? As she put, if you are out in the garage working on the car I'll know where you are at!(not that I ever go anywhere!)... and she also said that I deserved it too.
Thus, as I have learned.... when it was time to do the car shuffel at our house again.... I repayed her a couple months later with a car of her dreams, an 04 BMW Z4 Roadster, I didnt even get to drive it for the first few weeks!.. Cause around my house, after 23 years of marital bliss(so Im told
), I've learned to let her have the better of the autos to drive. And thats ok too cause I do drive her 3.0 Roadster on occasion and its a blast, a real pocket rocket that handles great! And it also helps to accomplish my ultimate mission... to help her gravitate more and more to be a bit of a car nut like me. My hope of the trip to SITM was to help with increasing her attitude of the Shark being a special car & meet lots of great Shark owners(maybe to show her, "see, I'm not the only nut about these cars"! And it was 100% successful in that regard! Thanks for all the displays of extremely enthusiasm about your Sharks!My final thoughts are the reality on my part that both cars and women will cost you one way or another, usually when you least expect it or can afford it. And they will get what they want IF you want to keep them, yes??
10-14-2005 | 04:25 PM
#28
Addict
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From: North Bay Area, CA
I have been badgered for years now about leaving car parts in the livingroom. Come on! They have to go somewhere after they show up and before they get installed.
A couple weeks ago, he sheepishly asked me if it would "be a bad thing" if he kept an engine in the livingroom "for a little while". It wouldn't be some dirty old engine. THis is a nice, clean, never-yet run motorcycle engine (so is actually room for it in our apartment). I told him that's just fine w/ me, as long as I don't hear about it the next time there's a little package from Devek by the coffee table.
Funny, I still haven't seen this engine...
A couple weeks ago, he sheepishly asked me if it would "be a bad thing" if he kept an engine in the livingroom "for a little while". It wouldn't be some dirty old engine. THis is a nice, clean, never-yet run motorcycle engine (so is actually room for it in our apartment). I told him that's just fine w/ me, as long as I don't hear about it the next time there's a little package from Devek by the coffee table.
Funny, I still haven't seen this engine...
10-14-2005 | 04:41 PM
#29
Supercharged
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From: Back in Michigan - Full time!
Originally Posted by Jessa
I have been badgered for years now about leaving car parts in the livingroom. Come on! They have to go somewhere after they show up and before they get installed.
A couple weeks ago, he sheepishly asked me if it would "be a bad thing" if he kept an engine in the livingroom "for a little while". It wouldn't be some dirty old engine. THis is a nice, clean, never-yet run motorcycle engine (so is actually room for it in our apartment). I told him that's just fine w/ me, as long as I don't hear about it the next time there's a little package from Devek by the coffee table.
Funny, I still haven't seen this engine...
A couple weeks ago, he sheepishly asked me if it would "be a bad thing" if he kept an engine in the livingroom "for a little while". It wouldn't be some dirty old engine. THis is a nice, clean, never-yet run motorcycle engine (so is actually room for it in our apartment). I told him that's just fine w/ me, as long as I don't hear about it the next time there's a little package from Devek by the coffee table.
Funny, I still haven't seen this engine...
10-14-2005 | 07:31 PM
#30
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From: Boulder Creek, CA
Originally Posted by Jessa
I have been badgered for years now about leaving car parts in the livingroom. Come on! They have to go somewhere after they show up and before they get installed.
A couple weeks ago, he sheepishly asked me if it would "be a bad thing" if he kept an engine in the livingroom "for a little while". It wouldn't be some dirty old engine. THis is a nice, clean, never-yet run motorcycle engine (so is actually room for it in our apartment). I told him that's just fine w/ me, as long as I don't hear about it the next time there's a little package from Devek by the coffee table.
Funny, I still haven't seen this engine...
A couple weeks ago, he sheepishly asked me if it would "be a bad thing" if he kept an engine in the livingroom "for a little while". It wouldn't be some dirty old engine. THis is a nice, clean, never-yet run motorcycle engine (so is actually room for it in our apartment). I told him that's just fine w/ me, as long as I don't hear about it the next time there's a little package from Devek by the coffee table.
Funny, I still haven't seen this engine...