AO

So last night we had our Detroit area beer night. Always a good time.

Most people left by 9:30pm, but I stayed with Manuel, Tomas (both from Spain) and Stan. Manuel and Stan both have 84 Euro S’s. Stan’s is metallic maroon, and Manuel’s is Guards Red. So the 4 of us are having one last beer (my 3rd since 6:30pm). Then it was time to leave. Stan heads west, Manual & Tomas in their car and I head south on Woodward Avenue. We get to I-696 and we drop the hammers!

We were zipping around having some fun when all of a sudden there’s a Bimmer on my ***. I think it was an old gen (97-ish) M3, but I could be wrong. Then I really drop the hammer. The Bimmer held it’s own up to about 125… then we walked away. We played cat & mouse for the entire stretch of I-696 until we got to I-275 (about 15 miles or so). It was very fun!

Then the Bimmer peeled off and Manuel and I headed south on I-275. We cooled it on 275 ‘cause the cops like to hang out on the entire stretch and there are so many false alarms with the radar detector, that you cannot rely on its accuracy at all.

At the M14 exit I peel off and give a big friendly wave to Manuel and Tomas. We had a lot of fun! Crazy fun? You bet, but lots of it

I got to my usual exit and was heading home. The road I take undulates with many small hills and is posted at 40MPH. Traffic was clear and I was still feeling the adrenalin from the freeway romp. So I take it up to about 80.

Radar is quiet. Then I crest one of the little hills and it’s a cruiser heading the opposite direction! Faaaaaaakkkkkk! I’m already heading over the next hill when I see him turn around. Shiiiiiiiiiitttttttt! I’m now in a 35MPH zone – thankfully doing 35.

Radar never went off, so I’m thinking I’m probably safe on the speeding, but what about the beer?

Cop lights them up, I pull over.

Officer: License, registration, and proof of insurance.

Me: Yes sir. [getting my wallet out]

O: Do you have any idea why I pulled you over tonight?

M: No sir.

O: You mean to tell me you have no idea why I pulled you over?

M: Well, if I had to venture I guess, I’d have to assume that you thought I was speeding.

O: Do you know the posted speed limit here?

M: 40MPH back there, 35MPH here.

O: That’s right. So what’s the rush?

M: No rush. Just heading home from our monthly Porsche 928 night.

O: Porsche night? Where did you guys get together?

M: The Four Green Fields Pub in Royal Oak.

O: Have you been drinking tonight?

M: I’ve had 4 beers since 6:30 [it’s now 10:40 – and I weight 257 – so I’m thinking I’m good – but now I remember that I only had 3 beers and a coke, so I probably didn’t have to worry.]

O: So you’ve been drinking tonight?

M: Like I said, I had a few beers with dinner since 6:30.

O: Since you’ve admitted to having been drinking tonight, I’d like to assess your condition to see if your ability to drive is at all impaired. Would you mind stepping out of the vehicle?

M: [Getting out of the car]

O: [pointing to my crappy radar detector] So did your little toy go off?

M: No sir :evilgirin:

O: Good. That mean’s our equipment is working better than yours.

M: [BULL****! YOU DON”T HAVE ME ON RADAR, DO YOU?]

The cop administers every god-damn test he can come up with. Alphabet, touching the tips of my fingers with my thumb, straight line, touching nose, counting backwards from 99 to 79, standing on one foot for 30 seconds (counting out loud), standing with head back and telling him when I thought it had been 30 seconds (I stopped him at 28). I passed all with flying colors.

Then he asks if I’ll blow. Of course that’s the ultimate test.

I’m thinking… ****. I’m supposed to go to Japan with the family on Saturday. – Yes – TOMORROW! What happens if I don’t blow? I go to jail for failing to blow – not good! If I blow and I fail, I go to jail – not good. If I blow and pass, I’m good to go, except I still don’t know for sure if this guy’s gonna try and give me a speeding ticket or not.

So I ask him if I can ask him a question first. He capitulates. So I ask him, “Have I given you any indication through out the battery of tests that my ability to drive is impaired?” In hindsight, that was a dumb question because of course his answer is, “Well, let’s see.” The MF gives me another test. Where he asks me to follow his finger while he shines his 50,000 candle power flashlight in my eyes. Then he says, “There are some indications.”

He tells me to wait there while he gets the blow kit. He comes back, and I think by now he knows that he doesn’t have anything on me because he says,

“I’ll tell you what… if you’ve been straight up with me, you’re gonna get a break tonight. With your weight and the time that has passed, I’m guessing you at about 0.05. The legal limit in the state of Michigan is 0.08. But let’s find out.”

He unwraps the plastic tube, and shows me that the base reading is 0.00. He has me blow. But the MF let’s me sweat a bit more by not telling me the result right away. Then he shows me. 0.03!

Hot Damn – I’m not going to jail tonight.

He turns to me as says, “Like I said, given you body mass and the amount you drank tonight, you’re within the limit. But you don’t need to be racing like Mario Andretti on my streets. Here is your license.” What an ***!

Then the ***** starts asking me about the car and acts like he’s my buddy all of a sudden. What a *****. But I think I need to get a Valentine 1 or an Escort 8500, cause I didn’t have the confidence that he didn’t have me on radar.

Close call!

Here's some fresh pictures I took this morning as the sun was rising.

Fishy928S4

He WANTED you to fail so he could bust you. I go about 250 myself and there is NO way I am even close to legally "impaired" after 3 beers over that course of time. He was being a ***** on purpose because he could tell you were not impaired.

Big Dave

I hope you didn't get into details about the "monthly meeting"....no need to tell him when you'll be driving back that way again.

chaadster

Whew! That was a close call, Andrew! Glad you got lucky, though.

Very nice shots of the ride, too! How many folks were able to turn out for the gathering? Did anyone snap pix of all the cars?

AO

Look under the "beer night" thread.

Red UFO

The final test is turning around and putting your hands behind your back.

Most of the stuff he did is illegal, from the alphabet test to standing. You can say your a stutttt, stutterer, or you have a weak knee from football, cross-eyed.

Refusing to take the test that don't put you in jail, they take away your license for several months, but its the better of two evils if your drunk

heinrich

I think that he was as they always are, in other words, just like a used car salesman. He keeps you guessing, off-balance, and in the end, he STILL gives you as many tests as he can. Usually they simply ticket you (around here) for speeding. If they stop you, they WILL ticket you. He made you squirm enough where he felt his ego was satisfied enough that he was better than you, and he was able to control your life for 30 minutes or so. That made it worthwhile for him not to ticket you.

drnick

those are some great pics of a truly righteous ride!

Big Dave

Last time I got pulled over it wasn't for speeding. The cop wanted to "caution me" about all the deer in the area since it would "be a shame to bang up my nice car". He then walked around looking at the car and wanted to talk about it. He admitted I was doing 45 in a 50mph zone.

heinrich

Back in the day all cops were nice people like that. These days they are just quota-getters.

AO

If only he'd been that cool, but alas, he wasn't

Red UFO

I can't believe you told him you are at a bar. I would have said I was out doing a benefit for kids with missing limbs or something.

You a rebel dude,
Fight the Power!

BC

I would be so nervous (if I had any alco at all) that I would probably not count right.

PorKen

I would say 'no' to a 'drinking' question, always.

I have overheard that 'Careless Driving' is often tacked on as a code for 'suspicion of drinking, but can't prove', at least in OR.

Have a good trip!

MGW-Fla

I enjoy reading the posts here very much. You were very fortunate I think, your story made ME sweat! They all can be jerks if they want to be, especially if you have a nice car. Here in Fla they would still have given you the careless driving ticket for good measure. That is always there old standby when they have nothing else on you!

Yes the Valentine 1 is a God send of detectors, worth every penny. Still have to keep your eyes open of course. Once you have one though, there is no going back(like owning a 928). Unfortunately for me, I have been allowing my son to use mine since he is in college & drives a Roush Stage 2 Mustang(looks incredible, but not too much HP). I decided to give it to him after his police woes. He got a speeding ticket last fall where the trooper picked him out of a pack of 6 cars. Made my son get out of the car & put his hands on the hood. Then went thru his trunk & car, the total jerk act, you name it. All while traffic is speeding by on I-95! Told him he clocked him "over 95" & my son swears he was just above 80 & admitted that to the cop. He told me that the Valentine never went off! That detector is waaaaaaayyy too good to not go off, even if they are gunning you it goes off, maybe too late with the gun, but it still goes off. Usually with the straight roads here, it will pick them up way ahead when they are using the gun on the cars ahead of you!(how I dont know, but it does). My son is convinced he just saw his sporty car & figured he deserved a ticket!

My son called me yesterday morning to tell me his car was broken in to at his apt the night before, although the car had little damage, of course, the Valentine 1 was one of the things stolen. That is a $400 ouch! And I was about to get him his own, now I have to get me another one for the SITM coming up!

Mel Ward
Jax., Fl.
85 928S gold/brwn