A Poem:
10-27-2003, 01:47 AM
#1
Wax On, Wax Off
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A Poem:
This is a Poem I wrote for my class... tell me whatcha think.
My Religion
It is the subject of dreams, a
Shiny red oasis in a desert of dark.
Sitting, always whispering in your ear
Taunting, begging you like an
Addiction that cannot be beaten back.
You walk to it, open the door and sit.
The key mates with the ignition and turns
As it effortlessly roars to life, then
Begins to purr like a mountain lion.
Left foot meets left pedal and the dance starts.
The purr swiftly changes to a roar as
The beast awakens. The seat pushing on
Your back as the distant rushes to you.
You arrive at your destination, heart
Pumping, adrenaline rushing. The dance
Is over. You step out and look back and
Wish it was beginning and no longer
Ending. You begin to think about the
Past. From your first encounter to your last
All memories pleasant as it begins
Again. Porsche: There is no substitute.
My Religion
It is the subject of dreams, a
Shiny red oasis in a desert of dark.
Sitting, always whispering in your ear
Taunting, begging you like an
Addiction that cannot be beaten back.
You walk to it, open the door and sit.
The key mates with the ignition and turns
As it effortlessly roars to life, then
Begins to purr like a mountain lion.
Left foot meets left pedal and the dance starts.
The purr swiftly changes to a roar as
The beast awakens. The seat pushing on
Your back as the distant rushes to you.
You arrive at your destination, heart
Pumping, adrenaline rushing. The dance
Is over. You step out and look back and
Wish it was beginning and no longer
Ending. You begin to think about the
Past. From your first encounter to your last
All memories pleasant as it begins
Again. Porsche: There is no substitute.
10-27-2003, 01:54 AM
#4
Unaffiliated
Amen-
10-27-2003, 04:03 AM
#6
Drifting
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Golden, CO
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haha i just finished a poem too... but we had to write a sonnet... yes a sonnet - but even more lame it had to be about love of a person. i wanted to make one about my p-car too 
but my first attempt at a love sonnet turned out well-
ah what the heck! here it is:
hhaahahhahahha (its kinda late and im really fried!!)
Love’s dynamic evolves from a strange trail;
Not of love itself, but another’s mark,
When intellect or good appearance fail,
From diminutive quirks love finds its spark.
Like soft words whispered on a summer’s breeze,
Or a testament to time’s liberal sight,
What odd time I forget why her love ease,
Her character reminds me of my plight.
A quick, glance incognizant, leaves me there;
Standing enchanted by her sweet action.
I recall that the minute exploit’s flare,
Makes all the more profound her attraction.
Ever a time my heart need remind, your
Hints are all that’s needed to set it pure.
now that i think about it could work for my p-car!!
but my first attempt at a love sonnet turned out well- ah what the heck! here it is:
hhaahahhahahha (its kinda late and im really fried!!)
Love’s dynamic evolves from a strange trail;
Not of love itself, but another’s mark,
When intellect or good appearance fail,
From diminutive quirks love finds its spark.
Like soft words whispered on a summer’s breeze,
Or a testament to time’s liberal sight,
What odd time I forget why her love ease,
Her character reminds me of my plight.
A quick, glance incognizant, leaves me there;
Standing enchanted by her sweet action.
I recall that the minute exploit’s flare,
Makes all the more profound her attraction.
Ever a time my heart need remind, your
Hints are all that’s needed to set it pure.
now that i think about it could work for my p-car!!
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10-27-2003, 08:52 AM
#8
Race Director
One day mario wanted to rescue the Princess. Mario walked to Bowser's castle.
Bowser: What are you doing here?!
Mario: I-a want to-a hire you.
He paid Bowser with a shiny dime and a shiny object.
Bowser: Okay, I'll get her.
Mario then decided Bowser wasn't enough, so he beat up Luigi for his lunch money, then paid the Koopa Kids to take over the world, and they did. The Koopa Kids ruled the world and Mario fell asleep before he could do anything about it. So Luigi started to fight the Koopalings. He was ganged up on, and beaten to death with a trashcan. Mario then woke up. Mario went through Grass Land and was beaten up by Nick the Goomba. Then he farted on Larry. Then a guy light a match and all of Grass Land caught on fire. Mario ran screaming from the trail of fire that followed his rear end. Mario ran all the way to Desert Land, where he blew up. A charred Mario ate two pounds of sand. Then he walked to Morton's castle. Mario knocked on the door.
Morton: is it the pizza boy?
Mario farted.
Morton: I smell pizza!
Mario laughed.
Morton opened the door.
Morton: Where's my pizza? HHHH! THE SMELL!
Mario got beaten up by an angry Morton with a baseball bat. He kept screaming something about smelly pizza and beat Mario into a bloody pulp. Then Morton lit a fire, and Desert Land exploded, sending Mario and Morton into Water Land. They crash landed in the water.
Morton: Help! I hate water! I hate fish! I hate cheese!
Morton flew into Ice Land. Meanwhile, Mario made spaghetti in the water. Then Wendy and a bunchof Koopas in a big boat came by.
Wendy: ROW FASTER!
Mario slurped up all of the spaghetti, and all the water.
Wendy: Stop him! He's drinking all the water!
Mario then fell in the water and then the Koopa Troopas jump into the water with spears.
Troopa 1: Does the water feel warm to you?
All: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Mario wet his pants until Water Land was pure yellow The Troopas freaked out and screamed and tried to get to shore. Wendy screams on her boat and yelled something not fit for print and threw a trashcan at Mario. Mario hid in the can for 20 days. He was still in the water when he got in the can and some how it
floated (with mario in it? THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!) into a warp pipe leading to Giant Land, But Wendy lit a match and the water caught on fire. Water Land then blew up. Mario was in Giant Land. Mario got eaten by Nick's brother, Mark, the Neglected Goomba. and and evil jell-o. But Mario cut the cheese and they all got sick and let nature do its thing. Mario ran like a cowward and ran through a brick wall and pushed a big red
picture into a swimming pool and then ran some more. Mario smashed through Iggy's castle door.
Iggy: WHAT THE $^#^! who dares interrupt my watching my favorite show, Oprah? Errr, I mean Barny, errr, I mean Teletubbies, errr, I mean Shaved Mutant Bunnies with Anennae!
Mario: Same as Teletubbies!
Mario triped on the cable cord and knocked the castle down. Then Iggy got mad and used his wand to grow fifty times taller then he was, making him three feet tall. Mario fell over and sat on Iggy.
Iggy: Help! GASP! I can't breath!
Then Mario farted.
iggy screamed like a girl and was rushed to the hospital when Mario went to the bathroom. Then Mario farted and a kid threw a match under him and he flew off like a rocket to Dark Land, but then he landed in a lava pool and flew all the way up to Sky Land. Mario thought the clouds were made of ice cream so he ate all the clouds around and for some reason he was hovering in mid air.
Mario: Yuck! This ice cream tastes like... like........ wedding cake!
Mario started acting like Morton and ate all the clouds. Then Roy woke up and saw that his whole land was shrinking. Roy siced Fire Chomps on Mario. But the ground was gone and Roy's castle fell into the sea and the Fire Chomps forgot what they were doing. Mario landed in another warp pipe. He falls 1000 feet into Ice Land, which broke up into 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ice cubes. Lemmy got really mad and stole Wendy's boat and chased after Mario with a big shiny laser gun. Then Lemmy siced 200 Ptooies on him. Mario freaked out and threw trashcans at them, then jumped in one can and rolled him self at them. Then Mario fell through the ice. Mario sank to the bottom and Lemmy siced Cheep Cheeps on him. Mario decided he was in the mood for sushi, so he drowned. He was found out to sea in a fish net flopping around the deck of a ship like crazy. It seems he had developed gills. Then he went and swam towards Lemmy's
castle. Then he rammed it but nothing happened except that he got a headache after doing it for a hour so he gave up. Then he developed lungs again, and knocked on the door.
Lemmy: Who is it?
Mario: Ice Cream Man.
Lemmy: Goodie goodie!
Lemmy opened the door and Mario held a gun to Lemmy's head.
Lemmy: AHHHH! DEATH!
Mario then forced Lemmy to watch Teletubbies and Lemmy's head blew up after a minute. Then Mario set Ice Land on fire and taped it with his video cam and got board after five minutes and left. He fell down a pipeand ended up in Pipe land. Mario wasn't smart enouth to go into the pipe that said "this way out stupid"
and got lost. Then he got beaten up by Faust the Neglected Piranah Plant.
Mario: WHAT-a the heck! Ginko! So this is where you-a been?
Ginko: I WILL RULE THE WORLD! I WILL!
Mario: I'll fart on you unless you help me destroy Ludwig!
Ginko: MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mario sat on him.
Ginko started to choke when Mario cut the cheese and his weight was killing him. Then Ludwig came along and played "Ode to Annoy #5645". Mario got so upset he wet himself. This made Ginko mad and he died. Then Mario slapped Ludwig. Ludwig got mad and turned Mario into a Ginko clone. Then the real Ginko popped back up and screamed at Mario. then Mario screamed at Ginko. then Ginko screamed at Mario.
An hour later...
Ginko screamed at Mario. Meanwhile, Ludwig got chomped by a Piranha Plant, who chewed him up and
swollowed. Then it patted it's stomach (wherever that is) and burped. Then Mario set fire to Pipe Land, but it only killed the plants. But then Ludwig remembered that all the pipes in Pipe Land were ordered from
the Rubber Maid company (see Koopa Mart) and the pipes melted. Then Mario came up and spat at Ludwig. Then it started raining toads due to Bowser, who was trying to kill Ludwig. The frogs destrpyed Pipe Land (what was left) and Mario found a magic whistle and warped to Dark Land, and right into a pool of lava. But his fat protected Mario and he just swam around in it until Bowser's subs closed in on him. Mario drank all the lava and wet his pants. The sub fell on its side and Mario thought it was a can of tuna so he got a
huge can opener. Then Mario ate all the roasted Troopas inside.
Bowser: CONNON BALL!!!
Then Mario ate Bowser's new captain hat and made Bowser mad. Bowser flew back to his castle. Mario thought Bowser was a pizza and followed him through a warp pipe and ended up in a big lava pit full of Cheep Cheep's. Then Mario decided that he wanted sushi again, so he ate all of them raw. Mario had a huge gut and could barely move. While Mario struggled out of the lava, Bowser took the Princess to Dinosaur Land. Mario was too dumb to see when he got home that the Princess was stolen and replaced with a giant panda. Luigi came in.
Luigi: AWWWW! A GIANT PANDA!
Then Luigi found a note saying (with really bad grammar) "me bowser got princess and stuff and you not
get her or me do bad thing to's her. she mine so you lose. sighed the king of really bad grammer and koopa's." Then Luigi left to save the Princess, but he got his butt kicked when a Goomba attacked him on the first level. Meanwhile, Bowser was forcing the Princess to eat cheesecake.
Bowser: MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
Peach: GET ME THE @#$%@# OUTA HERE!
Meanwhile, a big snot bubble was inflating and deflating up and down out of Mario's nose. Luigi walked in, in a full body cast. Luigi somehow beat Mario up and sent him after Peach. Mario found Yoshi first and jumped on him but Mario had too much pasta and Yoshi was crushed.
Yoshi: Plumber fat! Get off Yoshi!
Mario got off, but all of Yoshi's bones were crushed. Yoshi had to go to the hospital and later sued Mario.
Anyway, Mario walked for a while.
An hour later...
Mario was on the ground, sweating, crawling forward.
Mario: Ohhhhhhh... How far have I gone?
mario looked back and still saw Yoshi's house.
Mario: DOH!
Then Mario was attacked by a legion of lawyers. The lawyers beat Mario to a bloody stump with sticks and Mario was taken to Iggy's castle. Iggy laughed and died. Mario kicked his corpse and stole a truck. He drove into the ghost house.
Five seconds later...
Ghosts flew into Mario's brain and made him turn into a Morton clone. This scared the ghosts away and Mario went back to normal. He then drove through the wall. Then Mario ate his way to the other ghost house. Mario got all the way to the Doughnut Plains. He got beat up by a Power Up (how can that happen?).
Then he went to Morton's castle and dressed up as a... as... uhhhh... a female Koopa. Morton opened the door.
Morton: Hubba hubba.
Then Morton hit on Mario. Then Morton found out it was Mario and comitted suicide. Mario laughed when Morton jumped off the top of his castle and the alligator jumped up and chomped him before he hit the water in the moat. Mario had a good laugh and stole some food and then headed to the Vanilla Dome. When Mario got there, he was beaten up by the water. Mario had been beaten up again and was taken to Lemmys castle.
Lemmy: Look, it's a fat plumber!
Then there was an earthquake and Vanilla Dome began to cave in. Everyone screamed and tried to remember the escape plan but were to stupid to remember. Lemmy was crushed under a stalagtight and Mario flushed himself down the toilit and went through the pipe that led to Soda Lake. Anyway, Mario was in Soda Lake when an octopus grabbed Mario. Mario wet himself and then suddenly changed into Luigi. Then he turned back into Mario when the octopus threw him out of the water and into a bunch of barrels of toxic waste next to Ludwig's castle. Mario mutated into a big panda. Then Mario went into the castle and started eating the plants around. But the plants were intoxicated with toxic waste. So then Mario changed into a Ludwig duplicate, except with three heads, two tails, and an extra brain. Then Mario exploded and aliens abducted him and turned him back to normal and brain washed anything in his memory of the aliens. Meanwhile, Ludwig was playing the piano, but suddenly, Mario crashed through the roof and smashed his piano.
Ludwig: Ah, Mario! I have been waiting for you!
Ludwig pulled out a big shiny remote with a bright red button.
Mario: Mine!
Ludwig: AHHHHHHHH!!! Don't press it!
Mario: SHINY button!
Ludwig: For the love of cheese don't!
Mario: Red button...
Ludwig: NOOOO!
Mario: Pretty button.
Ludwig started praying.
Mario ate it.
Ludwig: Phew...
Mario then took out another remote and pushed it and the castle blew up. Ludwig was sitting on the bomb and was turned into a pile of charred dust. Mario was knocked out and thrown down the muntain into the Forest of Illusions. But the fire from the blast started a forest fire and Mario ran around screaming. Then he ran into the ghost house. He saw all the ghosts screaming and flying into each other trying to get away from the fire. Suddenly, the ghost house collapsed and some guy named Wisenheimer beat up Mario. Then Mario fell into the pit of lame jokes. Mario got bombarded with lame jokes, and laughed at them all. He fell for two hours and then landed on Roy. Some how he had landed in Roy's room. Roy was muttering something about Lemmy and kissing his pillow. Then Lemmy's (he's dead) ghost appeared and said he was a fibby boy and
disappeared. Then Roy told Mario that Lemmy wets his bed and Lemmy's ghost beat Roy up. Then Wendy appeared and called Roy a tramp. Then pointed to Roy's collection of explosives and inquired as to what they were. Mario saw a remote with... actually he didn't see it, he just sat on it.
Roy: AHHHHHH... Hey, my remote had a green button!
Suddenly, Roy turned upsidedown, and his shell fell off. Then he turned into brown slime. Then Mario jumped in the puddle and then the fire caught the castle on fire. Mario put the fire out by scaring Luigi.
Mario left the castle and saw chocolate ahead. He ate Chocolate Island until Yoshi wandered apon the scene.
Yoshi: Mario! Yoshi think Mario should not do that!
Mario flew out to Mario (he had just eaten a blue shell) and picked him up, although he'd would rather have not carry the quite heavy Mario, and took him to the Star Path. Then Mario actually sat on Yoshi and all Yoshi's bones were crushed again. Anyway, he landed on Chocolate Island and started eating it until there was nothing left. Wendy's castle fell into the water and Wendy was holding on to the flag pole calling for help. Mario laughed as she sank and then Mario got sucked up into a whirl pool and landed in the ghost ship. Mario screamed bloody murder and ghosts chased him around for two hours. Then Mario farted.
The ghost ship exploded and Mario was thrown 50 feet into the air and then smashed into the stone mountain in the shape of Bowser's head.
Mario: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
CRASH!!! Mario had landed in the in the Valley of Bowser. mario was immediately beaten up by the mud and taken to Larry's castle. Then Larry stole all of Mario's pasta. Larry made Mario dance for his entertainment. Mario served Larry for 2000 years until he tripped and fell into the lava. Then Mario went into Bowser's
castle. Then the announcer and a bunch of drunk people popped out behind a giant number one.
Annoncer: Welcome to the worst gameshow ever! Choose your doom! Pick your door!
Mario picked door 1. A bunch of lava burst up from the floor. Inside was a pool of lava and a giant stump smashing into a broken bridge.
Mario: HOT HOT'S!
Mario ate some lava. Then the lava beat him up. Mario got smushed by the stump and the bridge broke. Then Mario drank all the lava and got gas. Then he shot off like a rocket and smashed threw the wall. More doors... Mario crashed into the wall between door 5 and door 6 . There was a pump, pumping black water into the water maze and on the left was a Robo Goomba Maker 9000. However, the Goombas were falling into the water and drowning, because Goombas can't swim. There was also a bunch of Robo Koopa Troopas in there and they started chasing Mario. Mario screamed and ran back to the Mushroom World, getting beaten up by dirt, water, and lawyers. He grabbed Luigi and Luigi wet on the Mechakoopas. They short circuited and blew up. Then Mario dumped Luigi into the toilet and went off to grab all the credit. Mario walked out of the next door and was on a stone ledge. It was thundering and then two glowing eyes appeaed. Bowser was hovering in his clown copter above Mario. Mario looked up at it.
Mario: Hey, ##$%#%! Cut my nosehairs!
Bowser threw robotic Koopa Troopas at Mario. Mario farted on them and the robots exploded and shot into the air and hit the clown copter. The clown copter swerved to the left and hit the wall and then caught fire.
Peach jumped out at the last second and Bowser went BOOM! Luigi suddenly fell from the sky.
Peach: MY HERO!
Peach kissed Luigi.
Peach: Thank you Mario!
Luigi: THAT'S LUIGI! WHY WOULD I WANT BE CALLED MY FATSO BROTHER??!!
Peach shrugged and pushed Mario over the side of the castle. Luigi took Peach home... and the rest is censored and yellow.
Bowser: What are you doing here?!
Mario: I-a want to-a hire you.
He paid Bowser with a shiny dime and a shiny object.
Bowser: Okay, I'll get her.
Mario then decided Bowser wasn't enough, so he beat up Luigi for his lunch money, then paid the Koopa Kids to take over the world, and they did. The Koopa Kids ruled the world and Mario fell asleep before he could do anything about it. So Luigi started to fight the Koopalings. He was ganged up on, and beaten to death with a trashcan. Mario then woke up. Mario went through Grass Land and was beaten up by Nick the Goomba. Then he farted on Larry. Then a guy light a match and all of Grass Land caught on fire. Mario ran screaming from the trail of fire that followed his rear end. Mario ran all the way to Desert Land, where he blew up. A charred Mario ate two pounds of sand. Then he walked to Morton's castle. Mario knocked on the door.
Morton: is it the pizza boy?
Mario farted.
Morton: I smell pizza!
Mario laughed.
Morton opened the door.
Morton: Where's my pizza? HHHH! THE SMELL!
Mario got beaten up by an angry Morton with a baseball bat. He kept screaming something about smelly pizza and beat Mario into a bloody pulp. Then Morton lit a fire, and Desert Land exploded, sending Mario and Morton into Water Land. They crash landed in the water.
Morton: Help! I hate water! I hate fish! I hate cheese!
Morton flew into Ice Land. Meanwhile, Mario made spaghetti in the water. Then Wendy and a bunchof Koopas in a big boat came by.
Wendy: ROW FASTER!
Mario slurped up all of the spaghetti, and all the water.
Wendy: Stop him! He's drinking all the water!
Mario then fell in the water and then the Koopa Troopas jump into the water with spears.
Troopa 1: Does the water feel warm to you?
All: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Mario wet his pants until Water Land was pure yellow The Troopas freaked out and screamed and tried to get to shore. Wendy screams on her boat and yelled something not fit for print and threw a trashcan at Mario. Mario hid in the can for 20 days. He was still in the water when he got in the can and some how it
floated (with mario in it? THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!) into a warp pipe leading to Giant Land, But Wendy lit a match and the water caught on fire. Water Land then blew up. Mario was in Giant Land. Mario got eaten by Nick's brother, Mark, the Neglected Goomba. and and evil jell-o. But Mario cut the cheese and they all got sick and let nature do its thing. Mario ran like a cowward and ran through a brick wall and pushed a big red
picture into a swimming pool and then ran some more. Mario smashed through Iggy's castle door.
Iggy: WHAT THE $^#^! who dares interrupt my watching my favorite show, Oprah? Errr, I mean Barny, errr, I mean Teletubbies, errr, I mean Shaved Mutant Bunnies with Anennae!
Mario: Same as Teletubbies!
Mario triped on the cable cord and knocked the castle down. Then Iggy got mad and used his wand to grow fifty times taller then he was, making him three feet tall. Mario fell over and sat on Iggy.
Iggy: Help! GASP! I can't breath!
Then Mario farted.
iggy screamed like a girl and was rushed to the hospital when Mario went to the bathroom. Then Mario farted and a kid threw a match under him and he flew off like a rocket to Dark Land, but then he landed in a lava pool and flew all the way up to Sky Land. Mario thought the clouds were made of ice cream so he ate all the clouds around and for some reason he was hovering in mid air.
Mario: Yuck! This ice cream tastes like... like........ wedding cake!
Mario started acting like Morton and ate all the clouds. Then Roy woke up and saw that his whole land was shrinking. Roy siced Fire Chomps on Mario. But the ground was gone and Roy's castle fell into the sea and the Fire Chomps forgot what they were doing. Mario landed in another warp pipe. He falls 1000 feet into Ice Land, which broke up into 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ice cubes. Lemmy got really mad and stole Wendy's boat and chased after Mario with a big shiny laser gun. Then Lemmy siced 200 Ptooies on him. Mario freaked out and threw trashcans at them, then jumped in one can and rolled him self at them. Then Mario fell through the ice. Mario sank to the bottom and Lemmy siced Cheep Cheeps on him. Mario decided he was in the mood for sushi, so he drowned. He was found out to sea in a fish net flopping around the deck of a ship like crazy. It seems he had developed gills. Then he went and swam towards Lemmy's
castle. Then he rammed it but nothing happened except that he got a headache after doing it for a hour so he gave up. Then he developed lungs again, and knocked on the door.
Lemmy: Who is it?
Mario: Ice Cream Man.
Lemmy: Goodie goodie!
Lemmy opened the door and Mario held a gun to Lemmy's head.
Lemmy: AHHHH! DEATH!
Mario then forced Lemmy to watch Teletubbies and Lemmy's head blew up after a minute. Then Mario set Ice Land on fire and taped it with his video cam and got board after five minutes and left. He fell down a pipeand ended up in Pipe land. Mario wasn't smart enouth to go into the pipe that said "this way out stupid"
and got lost. Then he got beaten up by Faust the Neglected Piranah Plant.
Mario: WHAT-a the heck! Ginko! So this is where you-a been?
Ginko: I WILL RULE THE WORLD! I WILL!
Mario: I'll fart on you unless you help me destroy Ludwig!
Ginko: MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mario sat on him.
Ginko started to choke when Mario cut the cheese and his weight was killing him. Then Ludwig came along and played "Ode to Annoy #5645". Mario got so upset he wet himself. This made Ginko mad and he died. Then Mario slapped Ludwig. Ludwig got mad and turned Mario into a Ginko clone. Then the real Ginko popped back up and screamed at Mario. then Mario screamed at Ginko. then Ginko screamed at Mario.
An hour later...
Ginko screamed at Mario. Meanwhile, Ludwig got chomped by a Piranha Plant, who chewed him up and
swollowed. Then it patted it's stomach (wherever that is) and burped. Then Mario set fire to Pipe Land, but it only killed the plants. But then Ludwig remembered that all the pipes in Pipe Land were ordered from
the Rubber Maid company (see Koopa Mart) and the pipes melted. Then Mario came up and spat at Ludwig. Then it started raining toads due to Bowser, who was trying to kill Ludwig. The frogs destrpyed Pipe Land (what was left) and Mario found a magic whistle and warped to Dark Land, and right into a pool of lava. But his fat protected Mario and he just swam around in it until Bowser's subs closed in on him. Mario drank all the lava and wet his pants. The sub fell on its side and Mario thought it was a can of tuna so he got a
huge can opener. Then Mario ate all the roasted Troopas inside.
Bowser: CONNON BALL!!!
Then Mario ate Bowser's new captain hat and made Bowser mad. Bowser flew back to his castle. Mario thought Bowser was a pizza and followed him through a warp pipe and ended up in a big lava pit full of Cheep Cheep's. Then Mario decided that he wanted sushi again, so he ate all of them raw. Mario had a huge gut and could barely move. While Mario struggled out of the lava, Bowser took the Princess to Dinosaur Land. Mario was too dumb to see when he got home that the Princess was stolen and replaced with a giant panda. Luigi came in.
Luigi: AWWWW! A GIANT PANDA!
Then Luigi found a note saying (with really bad grammar) "me bowser got princess and stuff and you not
get her or me do bad thing to's her. she mine so you lose. sighed the king of really bad grammer and koopa's." Then Luigi left to save the Princess, but he got his butt kicked when a Goomba attacked him on the first level. Meanwhile, Bowser was forcing the Princess to eat cheesecake.
Bowser: MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
Peach: GET ME THE @#$%@# OUTA HERE!
Meanwhile, a big snot bubble was inflating and deflating up and down out of Mario's nose. Luigi walked in, in a full body cast. Luigi somehow beat Mario up and sent him after Peach. Mario found Yoshi first and jumped on him but Mario had too much pasta and Yoshi was crushed.
Yoshi: Plumber fat! Get off Yoshi!
Mario got off, but all of Yoshi's bones were crushed. Yoshi had to go to the hospital and later sued Mario.
Anyway, Mario walked for a while.
An hour later...
Mario was on the ground, sweating, crawling forward.
Mario: Ohhhhhhh... How far have I gone?
mario looked back and still saw Yoshi's house.
Mario: DOH!
Then Mario was attacked by a legion of lawyers. The lawyers beat Mario to a bloody stump with sticks and Mario was taken to Iggy's castle. Iggy laughed and died. Mario kicked his corpse and stole a truck. He drove into the ghost house.
Five seconds later...
Ghosts flew into Mario's brain and made him turn into a Morton clone. This scared the ghosts away and Mario went back to normal. He then drove through the wall. Then Mario ate his way to the other ghost house. Mario got all the way to the Doughnut Plains. He got beat up by a Power Up (how can that happen?).
Then he went to Morton's castle and dressed up as a... as... uhhhh... a female Koopa. Morton opened the door.
Morton: Hubba hubba.
Then Morton hit on Mario. Then Morton found out it was Mario and comitted suicide. Mario laughed when Morton jumped off the top of his castle and the alligator jumped up and chomped him before he hit the water in the moat. Mario had a good laugh and stole some food and then headed to the Vanilla Dome. When Mario got there, he was beaten up by the water. Mario had been beaten up again and was taken to Lemmys castle.
Lemmy: Look, it's a fat plumber!
Then there was an earthquake and Vanilla Dome began to cave in. Everyone screamed and tried to remember the escape plan but were to stupid to remember. Lemmy was crushed under a stalagtight and Mario flushed himself down the toilit and went through the pipe that led to Soda Lake. Anyway, Mario was in Soda Lake when an octopus grabbed Mario. Mario wet himself and then suddenly changed into Luigi. Then he turned back into Mario when the octopus threw him out of the water and into a bunch of barrels of toxic waste next to Ludwig's castle. Mario mutated into a big panda. Then Mario went into the castle and started eating the plants around. But the plants were intoxicated with toxic waste. So then Mario changed into a Ludwig duplicate, except with three heads, two tails, and an extra brain. Then Mario exploded and aliens abducted him and turned him back to normal and brain washed anything in his memory of the aliens. Meanwhile, Ludwig was playing the piano, but suddenly, Mario crashed through the roof and smashed his piano.
Ludwig: Ah, Mario! I have been waiting for you!
Ludwig pulled out a big shiny remote with a bright red button.
Mario: Mine!
Ludwig: AHHHHHHHH!!! Don't press it!
Mario: SHINY button!
Ludwig: For the love of cheese don't!
Mario: Red button...
Ludwig: NOOOO!
Mario: Pretty button.
Ludwig started praying.
Mario ate it.
Ludwig: Phew...
Mario then took out another remote and pushed it and the castle blew up. Ludwig was sitting on the bomb and was turned into a pile of charred dust. Mario was knocked out and thrown down the muntain into the Forest of Illusions. But the fire from the blast started a forest fire and Mario ran around screaming. Then he ran into the ghost house. He saw all the ghosts screaming and flying into each other trying to get away from the fire. Suddenly, the ghost house collapsed and some guy named Wisenheimer beat up Mario. Then Mario fell into the pit of lame jokes. Mario got bombarded with lame jokes, and laughed at them all. He fell for two hours and then landed on Roy. Some how he had landed in Roy's room. Roy was muttering something about Lemmy and kissing his pillow. Then Lemmy's (he's dead) ghost appeared and said he was a fibby boy and
disappeared. Then Roy told Mario that Lemmy wets his bed and Lemmy's ghost beat Roy up. Then Wendy appeared and called Roy a tramp. Then pointed to Roy's collection of explosives and inquired as to what they were. Mario saw a remote with... actually he didn't see it, he just sat on it.
Roy: AHHHHHH... Hey, my remote had a green button!
Suddenly, Roy turned upsidedown, and his shell fell off. Then he turned into brown slime. Then Mario jumped in the puddle and then the fire caught the castle on fire. Mario put the fire out by scaring Luigi.
Mario left the castle and saw chocolate ahead. He ate Chocolate Island until Yoshi wandered apon the scene.
Yoshi: Mario! Yoshi think Mario should not do that!
Mario flew out to Mario (he had just eaten a blue shell) and picked him up, although he'd would rather have not carry the quite heavy Mario, and took him to the Star Path. Then Mario actually sat on Yoshi and all Yoshi's bones were crushed again. Anyway, he landed on Chocolate Island and started eating it until there was nothing left. Wendy's castle fell into the water and Wendy was holding on to the flag pole calling for help. Mario laughed as she sank and then Mario got sucked up into a whirl pool and landed in the ghost ship. Mario screamed bloody murder and ghosts chased him around for two hours. Then Mario farted.
The ghost ship exploded and Mario was thrown 50 feet into the air and then smashed into the stone mountain in the shape of Bowser's head.
Mario: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
CRASH!!! Mario had landed in the in the Valley of Bowser. mario was immediately beaten up by the mud and taken to Larry's castle. Then Larry stole all of Mario's pasta. Larry made Mario dance for his entertainment. Mario served Larry for 2000 years until he tripped and fell into the lava. Then Mario went into Bowser's
castle. Then the announcer and a bunch of drunk people popped out behind a giant number one.
Annoncer: Welcome to the worst gameshow ever! Choose your doom! Pick your door!
Mario picked door 1. A bunch of lava burst up from the floor. Inside was a pool of lava and a giant stump smashing into a broken bridge.
Mario: HOT HOT'S!
Mario ate some lava. Then the lava beat him up. Mario got smushed by the stump and the bridge broke. Then Mario drank all the lava and got gas. Then he shot off like a rocket and smashed threw the wall. More doors... Mario crashed into the wall between door 5 and door 6 . There was a pump, pumping black water into the water maze and on the left was a Robo Goomba Maker 9000. However, the Goombas were falling into the water and drowning, because Goombas can't swim. There was also a bunch of Robo Koopa Troopas in there and they started chasing Mario. Mario screamed and ran back to the Mushroom World, getting beaten up by dirt, water, and lawyers. He grabbed Luigi and Luigi wet on the Mechakoopas. They short circuited and blew up. Then Mario dumped Luigi into the toilet and went off to grab all the credit. Mario walked out of the next door and was on a stone ledge. It was thundering and then two glowing eyes appeaed. Bowser was hovering in his clown copter above Mario. Mario looked up at it.
Mario: Hey, ##$%#%! Cut my nosehairs!
Bowser threw robotic Koopa Troopas at Mario. Mario farted on them and the robots exploded and shot into the air and hit the clown copter. The clown copter swerved to the left and hit the wall and then caught fire.
Peach jumped out at the last second and Bowser went BOOM! Luigi suddenly fell from the sky.
Peach: MY HERO!
Peach kissed Luigi.
Peach: Thank you Mario!
Luigi: THAT'S LUIGI! WHY WOULD I WANT BE CALLED MY FATSO BROTHER??!!
Peach shrugged and pushed Mario over the side of the castle. Luigi took Peach home... and the rest is censored and yellow.
10-27-2003, 02:18 PM
#13
Thinking outside da' bun...
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You are all budding Robert Frosts. Nice job. Over the years Ive collected a bunch of stuff Ive written. Some of it quite disturbing. Thats what the general consensus was in my JNL classes back in college -- I was disturbed.
10-27-2003, 02:22 PM
#14
Nordschleife Master
Originally posted by UDPride
You are all budding Robert Frosts. Nice job. Over the years Ive collected a bunch of stuff Ive written. Some of it quite disturbing. Thats what the general consensus was in my JNL classes back in college -- I was disturbed.
You are all budding Robert Frosts. Nice job. Over the years Ive collected a bunch of stuff Ive written. Some of it quite disturbing. Thats what the general consensus was in my JNL classes back in college -- I was disturbed.
What do they think of you now?
10-27-2003, 03:04 PM
#15
Drifting
Join Date: Jul 2003
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haha good thing tifo didn't write that himself!!
btw tifo i liked the other story about the two guys in idaho? i think it was who ran outta gas and there were some aliens and stuff - lol
yeah so anyway...
btw tifo i liked the other story about the two guys in idaho? i think it was who ran outta gas and there were some aliens and stuff - lol
yeah so anyway...