I have a joke! What's the difference between a cactus and a Porsche

On a cactus, the ***** is on the outside

 

i'm happy to pledge $88 clams/yr for 4 paper issues and killer interweb links.

 

I always heard it as a porcupine, not a cactus...



Reminds me of a much longer and more elaborate joke:

One day a little mouse was waking through the jungle, when he fell into a large hole, and couldn't climb out. He calls and calls for help, and finally his friend the elephant comes. After sizing up the situation, the elephant straddles the hole, lets down his tremendous *****, and instructs the mouse to climb up.

A few days later, the elephant falls into a huge pit, and is unable to climb out. Who should come to his aid? Why the mouse, of course. But with his shiny red Porsche and a piece of rope. Tying the end to the car, and throwing the other end into the pit, the elephant was out in no time.

Moral of the story: if you have a Porsche, you don't need a long dick.

 

I love this idea. I would also like my own car to be in your magazine. I also have an inspirational story I am currently writing about the 944. Along with subscribing and buying said magazine

 

Dynamite! PM sent..

 

Don't forget the Aussies from down-under, they been racing and winning with this car since the beginning. I'm sure they have great stories and killer cars.

 

Very interested!! I have no profound insight or much usable knowledge, but I WILL buy a subscription when you are up and running.

 

Jg...you're right, I have add the Aussies to my list...

Sfierle, much obliged. Stay tuned!

 

Very neat!

 

impressive undertaking. cant wait to see the fruits of your (and everyone else's) labor

 

Thanks for the support fellas...but go back and check out the outline for the magazine on post #60. I really need your input on this one.

Here's the thing, without everyone here, this magazine can't happen. I want anyone who is willing to contribute, be it a story, or a column, a restoration project, etc. to chime in. This is YOUR magazine and there'll never be outside writers to write your story.

If you're doubtful about your writing, no sweat, I can help. More often than not we tend to be our own worst critic. Share it and we'll make it come alive.

I've had a few contributors pipe up so far and we're getting their stories, but we need a few more to make this baby complete.

You know what I want out of this? Pride. Pick up your standard Porsche rag and tell me if you feel proud of the car you own because of it...chances are you're not, there's a huge disconnect. Let's face it, these cars are small potatoes and that's bull****.

What I want you to have is a high quality magazine that is amongst the best of the best. High quality paper, high quality content, and writing from the soul. That's what you're gonna get.

This ain't no joke, we're putting these cars back into circulation where they've always belonged, and we're doing it with a ****load of class (yep, you can put those last three words together if you're passionate). Your cars deserve it...

 

I can probably write the Owner's Report. I have owed my 951 for three years and have finally brought her to great-running condition by doing all my own work. How much content should I create?

 

Right on Bonus!

A couple of paragraphs will suffice. I'd love a 951 report! PM me your email and we'll hammer it out!

- content page

- editor's page

*- bad-*** of the month our first Bad-*** is Roger Tyson

- one early 928 (77-84) story

- one late 928 story (85-95) tony77's car

*- tool: in this section we can write about tools that are critical to our car's upkeep. ie: new tools, home-made tools, factory tools contributors needed

- one 924 story

- one 944 story

*- Parts: column about new parts, custom parts, re-issued parts, etc. contributor needed

- one 944 turbo story

- one 968 story rwodabek's car

*- racing: mike (courtshark) has agreed to handle this baby covering all models

*- project: each issue will bring someone's project to light, what the idea is ie: custom, factory resto, what was the inspiration, how far ahead are they, etc. contributor needed (Matt (the Fixer) was heading that baby but other commitments have risen for him at the moment)

*-offshore happenings: a representative from a few countries are needed to have a page each on what's cooking in their homeland ie: club/race scene, used car prices, restos, modifications, etc.
Germany
England
Netherlands
France
Italy
Australia
contributors needed

*- owner's report: recent purchase, how you chose, what made you decide, experiences so far. just a few vignettes here to get a feel of the market/new-ish ownership experience contributors needed
bonus12-951 report

*- market: for sale/trade/want

*- last page: a freebie, anyone with a great ending image/thought/video can contribute here.

*- joker's wild: yep, an air-cooled (356, 911, 914) story. I know we're waterpumpers but let's not be the ugly Porsche owner...it'll be irreverently fun anyway contributors needed

thoughts!!!

 

Just a thought on the racing section: Could it also include information/stories about Driver's Ed events? I'm no racer, and will never have the skills to be, but I do enjoy getting the car on track a couple of times a year.

DE's are great events, I think, and a fantastic way to learn what you and the car can do. The 944 is an awesome track platform, even if you're not racing it!

Suggestions on preparation, basic upgrades, driving techniques, etc. could be provided, and maybe a list of upcoming DE's and their locations?

No offense if this isn't a direction you'd like to go - I'll still be reading!

 

I nominate Tony Garcia's car for badass of the year when he gets it done.