944 Fest '04 pic post- Post 'em here
07-08-2004, 07:34 PM
#350
Unaffiliated
It will take an hour to resize all of the good stuff I've got.. for now, this is gonna have to do!!
07-08-2004, 07:57 PM
#351
Thinking outside da' bun...
Lifetime Rennlist
Member
Lifetime Rennlist
Member
Can Chris924S post count of 20,703 possibly be right. By my math thats roughly 28 months since signup or 850 days. Thats 24.4 posts per day. Or a little more than one an hour. Lets assume for mathematical purposes Chris sleeps an 8hr day. Probably a bit of a stretch because beer is a diuretic and will keep you up pissing. Nonetheless, that leaves 16hrs to post while being in the awake condition.
Lets then assume a personal hygiene factor of 1hr. The rest of us arent into that stuff but if you know the C-Man youd know that style makes the man. Its all about the head-to-toe approach. Lets then throw in food intake factor of about 90 minutes and another 30 minutes in food prep time and food travel time. So we're down to 13 man hours of possible post whoring.
But we're not finished yet. Chris' chick is a commodity too. That takes time. Modest as she is, she'd estimate 2hrs, but if you know women, its probably closer to four. I wont get into what all that time entails so I leave that up to you. The point is, we're down to nine hours of post whoring opportunities and fading fast.
Everybody works. Or so we think. The C-Man has been bitching and moaning about the biz hes in. You know it takes a toll on him. Hes a trooper so he doesnt let it get the best of him, but even in the worst of times, we all need income. Even if its just running down to the welfare check office to replenish petty cash for some new Recaros in the 924. We have needs. The to and from , the errands to the bank, all that takes time. Easily another couple hours a day if you amortize it out and call it an income.
With just seven hours left in the day its conceivable one man could post 24 times. But its an even bigger feat when you consider we havent established an inebriation factor. Jello shots dont just fall from the sky -- they come from the Kitchen of Christopher. Living well is learning to live in the now and nobody shows us that like the C-Man. Nobody knows for sure how much time it takes, but a couple hours a day to raise the blood alcohol to reasonable levels of entertainment is not too far fetched.
With five hours left, time is getting short. There's a couple bowel movements in there somewhere. All that beer and jello needs to go somewhere too so pencil in a few squirts. The standard however is not how long it takes to roll a log in the porcelain God, its how long it takes to read through an issue of Panorama. While the rest of us just look at the pictures, the C-Man is a cover-to-cover guy and even reads the classifieds. To say you can spend an hour on the throne is not too far fetched.
With four hours left in the day, we're finally getting somewhere. Ancillary Nuisances -- items we shall deem annoying, occupy another hour. Phone calls, running to the door to greet the UPS guy delivering your new Thigh Rocker, shooting bee bees at the neighbors dog for coming into the property. These are just chores in all our lives that pop up ininvited yet must be done.
Ordinarily, Id throw in an hour of housekeeping, but Chris is anti housekeeping because he thinks its counter intuitive. He has his own special filing system and any degree of mass site-wide organization turns things upside down. So in the timeslot most people are watering plants and vaccuuming the foyer, he's going for a personal best on NFS Porsche Unleashed.
Chris' day has filled up quickly. Only two hours left. But things are starting to come together for him. The fog is lifting. As much as we try, television is a permanent fixture in our lives and an hour of Speedvision and Spike TV is better than most but something he cannot go without.
With 60 usable minutes left in the day, it's time to turn on the computer and see whats shakin. Email is a 15 minute job. Just siphening out the penile enlargment spams is a good 10 minutes by itself. Windows usually crashes at least twice a day so theres another 15 minutes gone by farting around with reboots and Invalid Executions. Unphased, the C-Man keeps on truckin. A few AOLIMs pop up. Tifo got a new puppy. Pete is arguing with the neighbors. It could be anything. Whatever it is, Chris is there for them. Another 15 minutes has passed.
Theres only 15 minutes left in the day. After hitting Bloomberg.com and checking his stock portfolio, talking smack on the ricer forums, and buying some smelling candles at marthastewart.com, we're down to five minutes.
After speedreading every Rennlist post in the last 4 days, its now time to begin post whoring. There's two minutes left. Its like the two minute warning in football, only better. In 120 seconds he will unleash a flurry of 24.4 posts. Thats better than one every 4.9 seconds. By the 10th post the keyboard is smoking. By the 15th the monitor has caught fire. And by the 20th, there's a bright light coming from the bedroom that appears to be a nuclear flash. Atoms are splitting. Time and space interpolate. Wormholes begin to bend and start funnelling unto themselves, creating a massive universal dimentia. Our kitchen lights begin to flicker. Dan Rather loses the grey and all the wrinkles. Trilobytes awake from the rocks. Its a beautiful sight. In just the moment in time, Mr Post ***** does in seconds what takes us hours. Genius? Perhaps. But a model of efficiency. And thats what a ***** is. Its all about getting the most bang for the buck of course.
We salute you Mr Postwhore of the Renny. Because the more we spread your reputation, the more you spread eagle.
Lets then assume a personal hygiene factor of 1hr. The rest of us arent into that stuff but if you know the C-Man youd know that style makes the man. Its all about the head-to-toe approach. Lets then throw in food intake factor of about 90 minutes and another 30 minutes in food prep time and food travel time. So we're down to 13 man hours of possible post whoring.
But we're not finished yet. Chris' chick is a commodity too. That takes time. Modest as she is, she'd estimate 2hrs, but if you know women, its probably closer to four. I wont get into what all that time entails so I leave that up to you. The point is, we're down to nine hours of post whoring opportunities and fading fast.
Everybody works. Or so we think. The C-Man has been bitching and moaning about the biz hes in. You know it takes a toll on him. Hes a trooper so he doesnt let it get the best of him, but even in the worst of times, we all need income. Even if its just running down to the welfare check office to replenish petty cash for some new Recaros in the 924. We have needs. The to and from , the errands to the bank, all that takes time. Easily another couple hours a day if you amortize it out and call it an income.
With just seven hours left in the day its conceivable one man could post 24 times. But its an even bigger feat when you consider we havent established an inebriation factor. Jello shots dont just fall from the sky -- they come from the Kitchen of Christopher. Living well is learning to live in the now and nobody shows us that like the C-Man. Nobody knows for sure how much time it takes, but a couple hours a day to raise the blood alcohol to reasonable levels of entertainment is not too far fetched.
With five hours left, time is getting short. There's a couple bowel movements in there somewhere. All that beer and jello needs to go somewhere too so pencil in a few squirts. The standard however is not how long it takes to roll a log in the porcelain God, its how long it takes to read through an issue of Panorama. While the rest of us just look at the pictures, the C-Man is a cover-to-cover guy and even reads the classifieds. To say you can spend an hour on the throne is not too far fetched.
With four hours left in the day, we're finally getting somewhere. Ancillary Nuisances -- items we shall deem annoying, occupy another hour. Phone calls, running to the door to greet the UPS guy delivering your new Thigh Rocker, shooting bee bees at the neighbors dog for coming into the property. These are just chores in all our lives that pop up ininvited yet must be done.
Ordinarily, Id throw in an hour of housekeeping, but Chris is anti housekeeping because he thinks its counter intuitive. He has his own special filing system and any degree of mass site-wide organization turns things upside down. So in the timeslot most people are watering plants and vaccuuming the foyer, he's going for a personal best on NFS Porsche Unleashed.
Chris' day has filled up quickly. Only two hours left. But things are starting to come together for him. The fog is lifting. As much as we try, television is a permanent fixture in our lives and an hour of Speedvision and Spike TV is better than most but something he cannot go without.
With 60 usable minutes left in the day, it's time to turn on the computer and see whats shakin. Email is a 15 minute job. Just siphening out the penile enlargment spams is a good 10 minutes by itself. Windows usually crashes at least twice a day so theres another 15 minutes gone by farting around with reboots and Invalid Executions. Unphased, the C-Man keeps on truckin. A few AOLIMs pop up. Tifo got a new puppy. Pete is arguing with the neighbors. It could be anything. Whatever it is, Chris is there for them. Another 15 minutes has passed.
Theres only 15 minutes left in the day. After hitting Bloomberg.com and checking his stock portfolio, talking smack on the ricer forums, and buying some smelling candles at marthastewart.com, we're down to five minutes.
After speedreading every Rennlist post in the last 4 days, its now time to begin post whoring. There's two minutes left. Its like the two minute warning in football, only better. In 120 seconds he will unleash a flurry of 24.4 posts. Thats better than one every 4.9 seconds. By the 10th post the keyboard is smoking. By the 15th the monitor has caught fire. And by the 20th, there's a bright light coming from the bedroom that appears to be a nuclear flash. Atoms are splitting. Time and space interpolate. Wormholes begin to bend and start funnelling unto themselves, creating a massive universal dimentia. Our kitchen lights begin to flicker. Dan Rather loses the grey and all the wrinkles. Trilobytes awake from the rocks. Its a beautiful sight. In just the moment in time, Mr Post ***** does in seconds what takes us hours. Genius? Perhaps. But a model of efficiency. And thats what a ***** is. Its all about getting the most bang for the buck of course.
We salute you Mr Postwhore of the Renny. Because the more we spread your reputation, the more you spread eagle.
07-08-2004, 08:41 PM
#357
Nordschleife Master
Originally posted by 944Fest (aka Dan P)
It will take an hour to resize all of the good stuff I've got.. for now, this is gonna have to do!!
It will take an hour to resize all of the good stuff I've got.. for now, this is gonna have to do!!
Dan I just about fell out of my chair when i saw what you wrote on his shirt hahaha send me the full res picture if you can that will be my new background and avatar.
07-08-2004, 09:02 PM
#358
Nerd Herder
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
It took me more than the allocated 1.43 seconds to scan all the words in that post UD. Shame on you.
Luckily Cory will always make up for the differential with his monosyllabic responses...
You havent considered the possibliity of posting while multitasking.
UDPride, We gotta party cowboy. You are a freaking genius.
