Resolution
02-20-2008, 09:11 PM
#1
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Resolution
As many of you know, there was a big blow-up here recently that got me temporarily banned. It apparently began many weeks ago over my use—in the track/racing forum—of a term that I considered to be synonymous with “dumbass” to describe some dumbass on-track behavior. The term I used rankled a couple of people in the "How Many Offs Have You Had" thread, and one in particular in that thread, but I attributed that to nothing more than political correctness. That was my mistake.
Unbeknownst to me, a core long-term member of this forum (totally unrelated to that Offs thread) has a close relative who is partly disabled. Apparently some of you have known this for a while, but I just learned about it this past Sunday 2/17, well after my use of this synonym for "dumbass", which can also be taken as a perjorative against people with disabilities in other contexts. This was not my intent. I have never picked on any person with any disability in my life, and have in fact a long track record of significant financial and personal time support & hands-on help to those with disabilities. I also have a consistent track record here of coming down hard on, for example, those who post caricatures of Special Olympics kids (like GR used to do).
Where I grew up, this word had absolutely no connotation other than as I used it. I even used it recently during my advanced classroom at TWS to refer to a cornerworker who allowed cars to leave the pits and enter the track directly in front of traffic moving in excess of 140 mph. There was no connotation of disability, merely of being a supreme dumbass.
Nevertheless, it seems that one or two folks assumed that I knew of the disabled relative, and that I must have meant my comment as a personal attack against this disabled person & those close to her. Unfortunately, at no time was I consulted as to whether this interpretation was correct. A massive misunderstanding fueled by this mistaken and unverified assumption erupted, magnified by my ignoring the subtle non-specific hints dropped by the person from the Offs thread about the relative-with-disability situation. I blew him off, thinking his comments to me nothing more than part of our normal give and take. Another mistake.
All of this culminated in a couple of admins—on here and in PM’s—stating as fact what they thought I had done. Unfortunately, the Supreme Being Admin (John D) also weighed in, despite his recent personal loss, again based on a faulty assumption passed on to him by others. As a result of this whole situation, I was banned temporarily, and various statements were made here and in PM's as to why.
Thankfully, all of us involved got together and have figured out what went wrong, and private messages and apologies have rectified the situation. In addition, I will no longer use the word at the core of this blow-up on RL, and I hope this sets an example for others.
I am sorry for inadvertently setting the stage for this blow up to occur. While I meant absolutely no harm, I was insensitive to how easy it is to misunderstand what others say.
Now, let's go back to having fun at each other's expense!
-Dave
Unbeknownst to me, a core long-term member of this forum (totally unrelated to that Offs thread) has a close relative who is partly disabled. Apparently some of you have known this for a while, but I just learned about it this past Sunday 2/17, well after my use of this synonym for "dumbass", which can also be taken as a perjorative against people with disabilities in other contexts. This was not my intent. I have never picked on any person with any disability in my life, and have in fact a long track record of significant financial and personal time support & hands-on help to those with disabilities. I also have a consistent track record here of coming down hard on, for example, those who post caricatures of Special Olympics kids (like GR used to do).
Where I grew up, this word had absolutely no connotation other than as I used it. I even used it recently during my advanced classroom at TWS to refer to a cornerworker who allowed cars to leave the pits and enter the track directly in front of traffic moving in excess of 140 mph. There was no connotation of disability, merely of being a supreme dumbass.
Nevertheless, it seems that one or two folks assumed that I knew of the disabled relative, and that I must have meant my comment as a personal attack against this disabled person & those close to her. Unfortunately, at no time was I consulted as to whether this interpretation was correct. A massive misunderstanding fueled by this mistaken and unverified assumption erupted, magnified by my ignoring the subtle non-specific hints dropped by the person from the Offs thread about the relative-with-disability situation. I blew him off, thinking his comments to me nothing more than part of our normal give and take. Another mistake.
All of this culminated in a couple of admins—on here and in PM’s—stating as fact what they thought I had done. Unfortunately, the Supreme Being Admin (John D) also weighed in, despite his recent personal loss, again based on a faulty assumption passed on to him by others. As a result of this whole situation, I was banned temporarily, and various statements were made here and in PM's as to why.
Thankfully, all of us involved got together and have figured out what went wrong, and private messages and apologies have rectified the situation. In addition, I will no longer use the word at the core of this blow-up on RL, and I hope this sets an example for others.
I am sorry for inadvertently setting the stage for this blow up to occur. While I meant absolutely no harm, I was insensitive to how easy it is to misunderstand what others say.
Now, let's go back to having fun at each other's expense!
-Dave
02-20-2008, 09:19 PM
#2
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He's BAAAACK! Grab the women and children....wait, you get the children, I'll grab the women.
Seriously, good to see you back here VR! Did you hear about Globe's false fingernails?
Seriously, good to see you back here VR! Did you hear about Globe's false fingernails?
02-20-2008, 09:45 PM
#3
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Your post, Dave, exemplifies the qualities found in a true gentleman. It takes a LOT to admit fault, but the growth we can receive from it is priceless. 
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02-20-2008, 10:34 PM
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Dayum, Dave . . . making up for lost time or what?!? I showed John the pics you posted . . . let's just say, he certainly won't need Viagra tonight. Hell, he can't even figure out what channel to watch. I had better not leave this page open when I leave my computer -- it will be a long night if I do. Lol.
02-20-2008, 10:53 PM
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Lol, Dave . . you are so the king of puns . . . or is that buns? Rofl. I really hope you and John get to meet someday -- I think you two will have a BLAST. Plus you're both what I call 'too-talls' -- lol.
Last edited by Bonster; 02-20-2008 at 11:18 PM.