Ok, I will admit I'm not a good salesman. So I was hoping you guys could take a look at my autotrader ad and tell me if you think I should change anything, re-word it, etc.

Thanks, in advance...

click here

 

Personally I would leave out the part about the divorce being the reason for the sale.

Gives the impression it is a "distress" sale open to all sorts of low-ball offers.

John

 

What he said and I would get rid of the last 3 sentences. Keep the "serious buyers, No sol... no exceptions part but ditch the Guarantee starting with "However ..."
It makes your ad sound desperate.

And I was always told (by professional speech writers) that if you have to use the words "honest or honestly or truthfully" you are implying that you are not honest or truthful with regards to what you are stating.

Ditch the open engine lid pic.
Show a pic of the drivers seat.

 

All excellent suggestions. Changes are being made.

 

Some excellent suggestions. One additional one you may want to consider is to use paragraphs - it makes it a lot easier to read. When I was searching for my car, some of the ads were unreadable due to a lack of paragraphs and I would tend not to read them in full!

 

need a pictures of the:
drivers seat and bolster
close up of front bumper showing any chips or not
picture of option label on the underside of the frunk

GL

 

my re-write is just for ideas.... I dont think yours is bad, I just changed up the order a bit....

One of the last 996s to come out of Germany. Originally custom ordered and fully loaded it features, Electronic Sport Seats w/ Porsche Crests in the headrests, Thicker Steering Wheel, White gauge faces, Carbon Fiber accents, Tiptronic and more.

Additional upgrades after delivery include EVOMS CAI, Gyrodisk Front Rotors, L&N Spin-on oil filter, Modified exhaust, LED lighting.

This is an excellent example of one of the finest cars ever made. It has always resided in California where I am the 2nd owner. Meticulously maintained inicluding Oil changes every 5k miles and new Sumitomo HTRZ Tires. I know this car inside and out, and can answer any questions you might have. My intention was to keep it forever. Life doesnt always work the way we plan.

Disclosure: The car was in a minor accident over a year ago. I have pics, as well as documentation. ALL repairs were made through the dealership and the car was repaired perfectly (no expense was spared). I have driven it for 26k miles since, and there are absolutely NO issues. I am so confident in the repairs and current condition of the car that If any major issues are found during PPI (pre-purchase inspection at reputable shop of your choice), that the Tech feels were DIRECTLY related to it, and cause you to walk away, I will pay for the cost of the inspection myself (up to $300).

 

Ok, Ed's suggestions have been added as well. It takes a while to update, so for some reason the text is now a mishmosh of original and edited wording.

As far as spacing goes, I have paragraphs in my text box, they don't seem to carry over into the ad. Am I missing some little trick to keep the spacing?

I will work on the pics tonight.

Good stuff!

 

I am not sure what this means, "It tracks perfectly, no uneven tire wear, no mechanical problems."

I assume you don't mean you have taken it to the track!? It's not clear to me. However, if you have you probably don't want to advertise that!?

 

No, never been tracked, Tim can tell you why.

I was merely trying to convey that the alignment is straight and true.

 

Wow, this was a great idea as there are lots of critics here.

As a person who is shoping here are my thoughts:

If you have the window sticker, include a picture. If not, include a picture of the option code sticker under the hood. Also, do you have all the keys? If so, note that too. Is the accident noted on a carfax? If not, that would be a plus as the buyer would not have explain an accident when they go to sell or trade it in. If the accident is on the carfax there is some diminished value.

I don't want to bash your car, but it has 3 problems:

1) Tiptronic
2) Higher miles
3) Accident history

Now look at your competition. Here is a similar car to yours. It has less than 1/2 the miles, is a manual, is certified and being sold by a dealer (full retail). The asking price is 42K, just 5K more than yours. I'd bet one could get it for $39K.
http://ucl.porsche.de/ucl/plsql/usa/...&pnr_=1&lnr_=4

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/2003-...item5638bd5d36

On your car, the KBB Private Party Excellent Condition value (in my zip) is $35,500. I wouldn't list it higher than that.

Just my thoughts.

 

Since it is a Tip (no judgement) you might get potential buyers who really are not enthusiasts. The good news is that it broadens you potential group of buyers, the bad news is they may say to themselves "what the hell is a 996 and why was this one of the last of them? I thought this was a Porsche 911?"

Every enthusiast will know what it is but you may scare away the guy who wants a great looking Porsche, doesn't have a clue about them, and can't drive stick.

Just throwing it all out there....

Good luck.

Jim

 

you mean about the accident?

I was on the fence too.... do you disclose that right in the ad or wait.... its a tough call (one that I also have to deal with.) Since it was in the original ad, I opted to leave it in my re-write which is just for ideas anyhow......

 

Ahhh, yes the disclosure clause, which was actually my primary reason for this post, but I didn't want to steer any comments.

Yes, the accident is listed on the carfax. It does indicate frame damage on the report. I have paid for the report so that everyone can view it for free, so I'm not hiding anything. And I am fully prepared to give FULL disclosure to anyone that asks. The car really is in perfect condition now. I have noticed no ill effects from the accident, and I have nothing to hide.

So, the question is...include my little paragraph in the description and risk scaring buyers away prematurely, or take it out and answer on an as needed basis??

What do you guys think??

 

Good suggestions.

I do have the window sticker, 2 keys, and the accident is on Carfax.

Interesting that your area KBB lists it at $35500 b/c mine listed it $2k higher. Anyway, the price will be dropped at regular intervals until it sells.

Thanks for the analysis. Very helpful.