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Interesting topic. My wife "allowed" me to get our 996, and really liked the car but just wasn't a car person, and thought having 4 cars for 3 drivers was a bit over the top... Fast foward a couple years of ownership, and my wife ABSOLUTELY LOVES our Porsche. She is dealing with some difficult aging parent issues, and when she has to go she always takes the Porsche... She quotes all of the time that "It's hard to be sad when i'm driving the Porsche" so to me, it was one of the best purchases of my life!
I am self conscious about being seen in my car however, I must admit. This is where I may separate a bit from where you are. Rather than being the best dressed at the wedding, I would rather be seen as the average guy in the well pressed and worn cheap suit. In an ideal world, my car would look like a mid 90's minivan to everyone else.
Ok, I’m getting a lot of heat for this statement, but I am talking about a new sport coat, shirt and tie. And my wife didn’t want me going in my old black suit. She didn’t want me looking like I was going to a funeral. My son got married at a camp ground on Mt. Hood.
Just do it! Fulfill your dream as I did a few months ago...Just make sure you have some reserve funds for the unexpected.
Biggest mistake I made was buying a non running 996 (only way I could afford one) for $4K without telling my wife. It was a rare deal I couldn't pass up! But my wife gets it and once I got the new motor installed and took her for a ride it was all water under the bridge.
Like you I only maintained early VW's (a long time ago) and am not a mechanic but am mechanically inclined and these cars for the most part are very DYI friendly.
Rennlist is a great community and I couldn't have done it without you all!
I guess I am one of the lucky ones. My "wife" (girlfriend of 16yrs) was the one who actually wanted a 911. She was a little hesitant about a few things, but once we looked at a few, and didn't compromise on what she wanted in the car it made it easy. WHITE CONVERtABLE WITHOUT TAN INTERIOR. (yeah, that was easy lmao. they all have tan!) Then when we got it she didn't know how to drive a standard so that was frustrating for her. Hindsight if we bought an auto this would have been a completely seamless move. The standard almost had her wanting to sell it. Now she wants other Porsches. I would find the cleanest examples of these cars and take her to see those. Not sure your budget, but if you are taking her to see Boxsters that are 8k with 130k miles on them she will hate these cars. But when they are in good shape, they are a thing of beauty!
We bought a 996 for her. It was to be her toy and daily driver during the warm months. Car is hers and she decides what mods to do and such. She's very content with it. She's aleays had a new vehicle every few years, but always something practical. This is her first toy car and she views it completely different than other cars she has had.
It was her birthday present last year, so I am now good for the next 10 years ...
Here is my take on it, if you are financially stable you should do whatever you want. If this isn't putting a hardship on your family then it should not matter. My wife is very understanding of my hobbies and most of the time she is the one saying 'yeah go for it.' She trusts me enough to make the right decision if for some reason we get into financial trouble she knows I would sell it right away.
Just tell her, "Look woman, I am the man and I will spend the money on what I want!!!" That should solve your issue. Give it a try and report back how it worked out.
Just tell her, "Look woman, I am the man and I will spend the money on what I want!!!" That should solve your issue. Give it a try and report back how it worked out.
Love it... That would solve one problem for me but might create some other problems. I've read some articles about several approaches.
1. Show up with the car without discussing it (your suggestion).
2. Buy your spouse something of equal or greater value before the fact
3. Reason with your spouse about your desire
4. Get his/her involved in the test drive, get them excited about it.
I've got the 3, and 4, route, and have done some of 2. Now that our finances are shared, they weren't for a long time in our marriage, for various reasons, going option 1, might have repercussions the other way too. Heck, it is her money too and she could just show up with something of greater value without asking. Option 1 could definitely backfire.
Im joking, I am not suggesting you buy it without her involvement lol. She will never like it if you do that. Educate her as to why you want it, what the game plan would be if it came to a point it was unpractical or un affordable etc. I involve my woman in all decisions not because I have to, but because it is whats right. This isn't 1955 when the man makes the rules. Talk to her, learn hear hesitations and have viable reasons to combat them. It could take time, work it slow.
My story is like JTT's....my wife is a nice tight fisted CT Yankee (I love that about her, lol) and was against spending on an "expensive" car. A 911 had been a dream of mine since I was a kid (ok, mebbe my first love was the Lotus Esprit....I got to sit in the one used in "The Spy Who Loved Me" with Roger Moore when they were filming it in Sardinia when I was a kid and my Dad was stationed there). However, like JTT, I bust my ****, I travel a ton overseas and even she agreed that life is too short not to have a grin on yer face from time to time. Her requirements were similar...it had to be a cab and a stick (she insists on stick and hates that I've recently made her move over to my automatic G37x when her old Mazda 3 was passed on to a relative) and couldn't be yellow or red. I also have to let her drive it unaccompanied on occasion, lol. She also wanted me to get rid of my Harley, but I said hell no. I'm not a rich guy, I don't have the disposable income to have 2 of them in my driveway.
I'd involve her in the process if she is interested, for sure.
I think anyone doing "Option 1" is making a big mistake. I don't think number 2 is right either....not just doing it so you can say "hey, look, I just got you x so now I get y". If SHE decides she wants a splurge item, fine, work with her on it. I'll admit that buying my Roadking new was one of the reasons I didn't fight too hard about getting a kitchen overhaul at the house, lol, but I sure as Shiite wasn't gonna offer a kitchen rehab.
I had collector cars before I got married. My wife knew what she was getting into before we got hitched. I keep the investment fairly low, and I always make money on my vintage cars, except maybe one or two. I just bought another 928 but shouldn't have. I'll make at least $10k on it when I sell, so it's hard for her to complain too much unless I spend time working on them that takes away from other value time. So far, so good.
I think you just ask her to be honest and tell you what's really bothering her about it. It's hard to imagine something that tangential as annoying people having the same car as the issue. I'm sure there's disagreeable people that live in your neighborhood, use the same types of appliances, and wear nice sport coats and ties ;-)
As long as your wife has something of her own to drive and you or she drive something comfortable for her when you're together, you should drive what you like. My basic rule is that the woman always has the more modern and/or reliable vehicle, unless she chooses otherwise, and it is always garaged, even if my dd sits in the rain. My current spousal equivalent does not really enjoy my 911, but puts up with it because, among other things, I gave up my MB sedan to buy a QX80 to tow her Airstream. It may also have something to do with the fact that I told her the story of how, between marriages, I built a Lotus 7 knockoff that I thoroughly enjoyed. My second wife did not, and occasionally gave me grief about it. I finally got fed up with the complaints, and told her: "I had the car before I had you and, if I have to choose between the two, I'm not sure which way I'd go." I never heard about the car again, and the marriage lasted until her death.
01-14-2019, 10:34 AM
