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Old 01-13-2019, 10:41 PM
  #1  
gumanow
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Default Wife surprised

I've wanted a Porsche for most of my life and now find myself in a position to finally afford a used 996/997. I've put up with used cars and middle of a lower end, basic 2004 Subaru's (Forester) 5-speed for the past 10 years. It was great to get my kids to all their events and haul stuff. It is still a great car @ 130K miles. Never had a problem with it. Maintained it well. Furthermore, living in the capital of bicycling (Portland, OR), I rode my bike to work for over 7 years through the rain and loved doing that.

This is my second marriage. I was married the first time to a millionaire's daughter. Net worth when I met her at around $40M. Silver spoon at birth. Seriously... driven to school in a Rolls, and not just any Rolls, one of six ever made. When we divorced I got nothing from that. My first car after divorce was a 1988 Honda Accord with a leaky windshield and smelled like mildew. Seriously, I had no money. Got taken to the cleaners on that relationship. (She still claims she got no money from her dad's estate, and judging by the way she lives, I don't think she did.)

Fast forward. Today I've got the money to finally get a nicer car. Recently, my oldest son got married and I was at the wedding with my ex-wife for the first time. I walked my son with my ex down the aisle. My current wife made sure that we would be the best dressed there. We were. That got me thinking about getting a better car.

So... when I spring it on her that I want a 911, she says that this came out of nowhere. I never mentioned to her that I wanted a 911. That's not the type of people we are. Only douchebags drive those cars. I had to tell her that very fine people drive these cars; doctors, and lawyers (OK, most lawyers might be douchebags). But a 911 was always something that I wanted. So why she never heard about it before?

I took her on a test drive of a 964 Cab and she hated it. Wrong car for her to go with me. Smelled, was loud, and too small for her. I just know she'd like a 996/997.

Any words of advice or similar situations that you've had to overcome? Help me out. I can't let this dream die!

G.
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:49 PM
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Ratchet1025
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Well sir, my 2nd 996 has done the trick with my wife and older daughters. 996.2 Cab Tiptronic. Easy for them to drive, I found one that needs nothing. They can enjoy it and so can I. A stock one will not be loud and hopefully not smell. There are lots available, so be choosy. Best of luck!
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:51 PM
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Women like to shop. It is axiomatic, so get her involved now. It's the wrong time of year for a cars and coffee, but maybe there's a local crew who have a wknd lunch or breakfast. Get out and see a few. Doesn't matter year, or price, or color, or options right now, just get in the flow, and involve her from the start. Maybe find a local 996 owner who is willing to meet and show the car, and give a ride. Shop til you drop.

You'll get a feel for what is important to her, and also your desires. For example, I can't stand silver/gray/black cars. They bore me to tears. But - your wife may find the silver elegant as well as sporty. Can she drive a stick? The 996 isn't the worst stick to drive, but it really isn't the best either. Maybe look at some of the auto trans. Look at cabs, and a targa, and maybe a taco wing.

My wife cares nothing about cars, but she went with me to look at a few. She likes some of the things I like, but has her own ideas. Good luck, it's fun. Plan to shop for a year, or maybe more. Get what you both want, you'll like it after purchase when you get your list fulfilled.
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:54 PM
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Originally Posted by docmirror View Post
Women like to shop. It is axiomatic, so get her involved now. It's the wrong time of year for a cars and coffee, but maybe there's a local crew who have a wknd lunch or breakfast. Get out and see a few. Doesn't matter year, or price, or color, or options right now, just get in the flow, and involve her from the start. Maybe find a local 996 owner who is willing to meet and show the car, and give a ride. Shop til you drop.

You'll get a feel for what is important to her, and also your desires. For example, I can't stand silver/gray/black cars. They bore me to tears. But - your wife may find the silver elegant as well as sporty. Can she drive a stick? The 996 isn't the worst stick to drive, but it really isn't the best either. Maybe look at some of the auto trans. Look at cabs, and a targa, and maybe a taco wing.

My wife cares nothing about cars, but she went with me to look at a few. She likes some of the things I like, but has her own ideas. Good luck, it's fun. Plan to shop for a year, or maybe more. Get what you both want, you'll like it after purchase when you get your list fulfilled.
Great advice!
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:59 PM
  #5  
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My wife hates all my fun cars. But what I learned is that it needs to look nice, be clean, NOT loud and everything inside needs to work.
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:04 PM
  #6  
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I disarmed my wife by buying her a Macan S three weeks before I sprung on her I wanted a 996. She really didn't have any defense after that. Now we have two Porsches in the garage, and neither one of us seems to mind that at all.
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:05 PM
  #7  
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I just didnt tell my wife i bought the car. She isnt really into cars and its for me so i didnt think telling her would be benificial. She still tolerates my douschebagery and even drives in the car with me sometimes. I have to watch the g's on the corners or she will get car sick. Find what u like if u r gonna be the one driving it and also remember its gonna be a 20yr old car so plan on some repair and customization money. Also if u want a good riding car go for a stockish suspension. The more performance u add the more race car it will be.
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:13 PM
  #8  
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Im in portland and also deep into bicycles. Im on my third porsche. had an air cooled 911, then a boxster and now a 996. If I could have any P car, it'd be a turbo cab. But I assume that's out of the price range. If you dont need back seats, Id recomend looking at a boxster. Here in the pnw they're a dime a dozen and they offer so much top down performance. You can get a 5spd for 5k around here this time of year.
I have two young kiddos so my 996 was a must as I already have a 2 seater. Let me know if you have any questions
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:14 PM
  #9  
NuttyProfessor
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Originally Posted by gumanow View Post
I've wanted a Porsche for most of my life and now find myself in a position to finally afford a used 996/997. I've put up with used cars and middle of a lower end, basic 2004 Subaru's (Forester) 5-speed for the past 10 years. It was great to get my kids to all their events and haul stuff. It is still a great car @ 130K miles. Never had a problem with it. Maintained it well. Furthermore, living in the capital of bicycling (Portland, OR), I rode my bike to work for over 7 years through the rain and loved doing that.

This is my second marriage. I was married the first time to a millionaire's daughter. Net worth when I met her at around $40M. Silver spoon at birth. Seriously... driven to school in a Rolls, and not just any Rolls, one of six ever made. When we divorced I got nothing from that. My first car after divorce was a 1988 Honda Accord with a leaky windshield and smelled like mildew. Seriously, I had no money. Got taken to the cleaners on that relationship. (She still claims she got no money from her dad's estate, and judging by the way she lives, I don't think she did.)

Fast forward. Today I've got the money to finally get a nicer car. Recently, my oldest son got married and I was at the wedding with my ex-wife for the first time. I walked my son with my ex down the aisle. My current wife made sure that we would be the best dressed there. We were. That got me thinking about getting a better car.

So... when I spring it on her that I want a 911, she says that this came out of nowhere. I never mentioned to her that I wanted a 911. That's not the type of people we are. Only douchebags drive those cars. I had to tell her that very fine people drive these cars; doctors, and lawyers (OK, most lawyers might be douchebags). But a 911 was always something that I wanted. So why she never heard about it before?

I took her on a test drive of a 964 Cab and she hated it. Wrong car for her to go with me. Smelled, was loud, and too small for her. I just know she'd like a 996/997.

Any words of advice or similar situations that you've had to overcome? Help me out. I can't let this dream die!

G.
First of all, you seem like a nice decent guy that has a unselfish heart. I admire that! Your first marriage seemed to be based on the wrong things in her mind. You see, when a child is raised in a home that coddles to their every material want or desire without instilling a sense of personal responsibility of contributing back to the family or earning things by working for them, you'll find these unhealthy qualities will trickle into a marriage. She sees YOU like she looked to her father. In her mind, she expected the financial coddling to continue without caring how you made it happen. In many cases, a person will make serious sacrifices in order satisfy the indulgences of the other person in the marriage. In some respects, you're doing it to bring peace or favoritism. Everybody wants to be liked. Contributing to this self centered behavior doesn't make the marriage better. This is a downward spiral. It's like a drug.

Allowing your current wife "to make sure you were the best dressed" at the wedding was also a mistake in my opinion. You should have showed up as you truly are in your heart. If that meant a $30 suit from the Goodwill, then wear it with dignity. It's better than "wearing the mask" and portraying something of a counterfeit. You wife should love you for who you really are and not portray yourself like the super rich with a faux silk suit and fake Rolex watch! Wear a real Timex with pride my friend! haha!

Look I don't mean to preach, but you have it all wrong. People here on Rennlist that own Porsche 996 cars, believe it or not, are probably working class, but enjoy the engineering and performance behind every 911. We're not rich like the stereo type would portray. We are DIYers that love these cars but can't afford to pay the Porsche tax every time the car makes a weird noise. So don't drink the Kool Aid and think Porsche owners are rich snobs or the very elite of society like doctors and lawyers. Believe it or not, you may find that many of us work second jobs and get our hands dirty in order to provide for our families. There are a lot of good people here on Rennlist.

Now regarding your future purchase, I encourage you to explain to your wife why you want a 911. Don't try to lie and say this is for her too, but be truthful that this is a lifelong dream. And that you're not wanting to go fork out $150,000 for a new Porsche 992, but you would like to find a resemble 996 or 997 within the budget. Women will never understand a man's love for machinery and we'll never understand 100 pairs of shoes and three closets full of nothing to wear! Find a Porsche that's right for you and your budget and include her in the process of finding a great deal. Don't expect her to like the car. Most women prefer large SUV. Why? Many studies point to the women's need for security which is a well-known quality of a female. When she gets into a small sports car like the 911, she doesn't feel secure. But that's okay. When she's with you, drive slower and don't make it a horrible experience for her or you'll won't own it long. She'll nag until it makes it's way to Carmax!

Cheers... and good luck finding a deal!
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Old 01-14-2019, 12:13 AM
  #10  
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are you good at wrenching yourself, or are you going to have to pay someone to work on it? If you dont work on the car yourself, these cars are expensive. Being able to afford to buy one of these cars and being able to afford to maintain one of these cars is two different conversations. If you can finally afford to buy a 25k-ish (well sorted out) used car its possible/likely you may not be able to afford to maintain it if you dont do your own wrenching. Sadly ive watched many a new buyer realize this after purchase. Do your research before you jump in with both feet.
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Old 01-14-2019, 01:28 AM
  #11  
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My wife went with me when I went looking for my BMW 135i, but 2 1/2 years later when I looked at Porsche 996es she was not interested at all.
She doesn’t really like getting into and out of my 996
She preferred driving the BMW when we had to swap cars.
She has only driven my 996 twice in almost 1 1/2 years.
The clutch (and getting in and out) hurts her knees.
But she tolerates it because I really like my 996.
She has bought me Hunziker Porsche Art and other Porsche related gifts.
We talk about cars she wants when we no longer need the minivan to transport her elderly parents.
But until then she is “stuck” with the Honda Odyssey.
She will likely want a medium sized SUV.
A small sports car just isn’t what she likes.
She’s just glad that I didn’t get a Vette.
She hates them for some reason.

Before I buy something, I normally run the idea past her.
I listen to what she thinks, but in the end I buy what I want.
I don't have to have her permission.
But I do ask her opinion.

Last edited by TexSquirrel; 01-14-2019 at 12:18 PM.
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Old 01-14-2019, 03:04 AM
  #12  
gumanow
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Thanks Tex for your words of encouragement.

For right now she is happy that I'm going and test driving cars that interest me on the weekends. I think she secretly thinks I'll get it out of my system if I can drive them on the weekends. She did say that she had a hard time getting in and out when she sat in a Cayman in the Porsche dealership.

G.
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Old 01-14-2019, 03:08 AM
  #13  
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It's been a while since I've wrenched but I did have a few VW Bugs in my past and did a lot of work on them. A lot of the serviceability stuff. That was way before youtube videos. Since then, I've done a lot of other projects with a wrench in my hand, although not around a Porsche. I know and understand how much to budget for repairs and have been researching what goes out when; AOS, Coils, Water Pumps, IMS, RMS, fluid flushes, etc.

Thanks for the advice. It is something I'm sure a lot of people fail to comprehend. When I was in college I parked cars at events and noticed very expensive cars with bald tires. The guy could afford to buy the car but didn't have enough to get new tires. I read those signs.

G.
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Old 01-14-2019, 03:14 AM
  #14  
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Originally Posted by NuttyProfessor View Post
Look I don't mean to preach, but you have it all wrong. People here on Rennlist that own Porsche 996 cars, believe it or not, are probably working class, but enjoy the engineering and performance behind every 911. We're not rich like the stereo type would portray. We are DIYers that love these cars but can't afford to pay the Porsche tax every time the car makes a weird noise. So don't drink the Kool Aid and think Porsche owners are rich snobs or the very elite of society like doctors and lawyers. Believe it or not, you may find that many of us work second jobs and get our hands dirty in order to provide for our families. There are a lot of good people here on Rennlist.

Now regarding your future purchase, I encourage you to explain to your wife why you want a 911. Don't try to lie and say this is for her too, but be truthful that this is a lifelong dream. And that you're not wanting to go fork out $150,000 for a new Porsche 992, but you would like to find a resemble 996 or 997 within the budget. Women will never understand a man's love for machinery and we'll never understand 100 pairs of shoes and three closets full of nothing to wear! Find a Porsche that's right for you and your budget and include her in the process of finding a great deal. Don't expect her to like the car. Most women prefer large SUV. Why? Many studies point to the women's need for security which is a well-known quality of a female. When she gets into a small sports car like the 911, she doesn't feel secure. But that's okay. When she's with you, drive slower and don't make it a horrible experience for her or you'll won't own it long. She'll nag until it makes it's way to Carmax!

Cheers... and good luck finding a deal!
Thanks so much for your response. I wasn't saying that the folks here are snobs or that all Porsche owners are of the elite. I have learned so much from the people on here and they have given so much back to me. What I was saying is that her perception is, and so many of us deal with this, that Porsche owners think of themselves as better, elite, privileged. It is a perception that has been written about even on this forum!!!

You've given me a lot of good advice and I'm grateful for that.
Thanks!
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Old 01-14-2019, 08:02 AM
  #15  
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I'm in a similar situation to Tex, my wife doesn't really get the whole "car passion" thing. She will enjoy an occasional short drive on a nice evening with the top down, just like she would go on one or two motorcycle rides with me each year, but I sense this is more for my benefit than her's.

When I started looking at cars, she was against it. Then a good friend passed away at a young mid 50s. That kind of was a trigger for her, realizing that you cold compromise your whole life, then loose the whole game without ever doing something for the sheer pleasure (living a dream). She also recognized that I was in a point in my life where I'm working crazy hours and have been forced to give up many of the hobbies I loved. If I had to be on the road for work, I might as well smile when I get in the car. We talked about it and made a few compromises. First, if I was going to buy a sports car, it had to have 4 seats. Second it had to be a convertible. With those two "allowances" and a tight budget, I was given the nod, and haven't looked back.

Yes, I hear you about the whole "Porsche perception" thing. I had a little of it too, but have found that this is a great community and even though I may not be in the tax bracket of many members here, or of local PCA members, that I have been accepted with open arms and have developed some great friendships. Some top notch people.

I am self conscious about being seen in my car however, I must admit. This is where I may separate a bit from where you are. Rather than being the best dressed at the wedding, I would rather be seen as the average guy in the well pressed and worn cheap suit. In an ideal world, my car would look like a mid 90's minivan to everyone else.
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