HWFM Racing Humor Competition: The 993 Board vs. The 964 Board
10-31-2003, 05:42 PM
#46
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Another Try
Happy with the success of the Volkwagen powered Cayenne, Porsche revealed the new "997" generation 911 Carrera. Porsche was able to reduce costs by sharing chasis, suspension, interiors and engines with a current VW model, leaving more corporate capital for the exectutive compensation package. Despite similarities beneath the skin, the new model will be a true Porsche. A Porsche spokesman pointed out, "you see, it's not a Volkswagen. Nowhere does it say 'volkswagen.' It's brake calipers are red and say 'Porsche' on them."
Last edited by Derrick B.; 04-05-2009 at 03:35 PM.
10-31-2003, 05:45 PM
#47
The Hoffinator
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Rennlist Member
heres somthing i posted a lil while back on OT.. figured you guys might like it, and could use it for youre advantage.
HOW MANY forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer -
1 to change the light bulb.
1 to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
... another 6 to condemn those 6 as [Oops!]-retentive.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs.
27 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"?
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a search on 'light bulbs' before posting questions about light bulbs".
16 to say, "I sent you a private message about light bulbs".
1 new forum member (or ninja) to respond to the original post 6 months from now and to start it all over again.
HOW MANY forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer -
1 to change the light bulb.
1 to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
... another 6 to condemn those 6 as [Oops!]-retentive.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs.
27 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"?
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a search on 'light bulbs' before posting questions about light bulbs".
16 to say, "I sent you a private message about light bulbs".
1 new forum member (or ninja) to respond to the original post 6 months from now and to start it all over again.
10-31-2003, 05:49 PM
#48
The Hoffinator
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
Re: Another Try
Originally posted by Derrick B.
Happy with the success of the Volkwagen powered Cayenne, Porsche revealed the new "997" generation 911 Carrera. Porsche was able to reduce costs by sharing chasis, suspension, interiors and engines with a current VW model, leaving more corporate capital for the exectutive compensation package. Despite similarities beneath the skin, the new model will be a true Porsche. A Porsche spokesman pointed out, "you see, it's not a Volkswagen. Nowhere does it say 'volkswagen.' It's brake calipers are red and say 'Porsche' on them."
Happy with the success of the Volkwagen powered Cayenne, Porsche revealed the new "997" generation 911 Carrera. Porsche was able to reduce costs by sharing chasis, suspension, interiors and engines with a current VW model, leaving more corporate capital for the exectutive compensation package. Despite similarities beneath the skin, the new model will be a true Porsche. A Porsche spokesman pointed out, "you see, it's not a Volkswagen. Nowhere does it say 'volkswagen.' It's brake calipers are red and say 'Porsche' on them."
Derrick,
i think this would be the 999 or nein nein nein
10-31-2003, 06:14 PM
#49
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Porsche Fields Racing Entry
Porsche following the lead of Toyota America will field a
NASCAR Craftsman Truck series entry. Based on the popular Cayenne,
a normally aspirated, carburated, V-8 front engined Dr. Pepper as the model
is now called. Sponsors include Hooters, and Miller High life. Naturally
the only driver for this huge endevour is the Famous JimBob JumpBack.
The Truck will have a mini fridge in the front seat for JimBob with ice
cold Miller in it for replenishing fuilds during the race. Viper Bob will be
the Pit Crew Chief for this series although his main talents are refilling the
mini fridge. This is appropriate since Porsche is allowing for only
one set of tires for the entire racing series due to its huge racing budget.
NASCAR Craftsman Truck series entry. Based on the popular Cayenne,
a normally aspirated, carburated, V-8 front engined Dr. Pepper as the model
is now called. Sponsors include Hooters, and Miller High life. Naturally
the only driver for this huge endevour is the Famous JimBob JumpBack.
The Truck will have a mini fridge in the front seat for JimBob with ice
cold Miller in it for replenishing fuilds during the race. Viper Bob will be
the Pit Crew Chief for this series although his main talents are refilling the
mini fridge. This is appropriate since Porsche is allowing for only
one set of tires for the entire racing series due to its huge racing budget.
10-31-2003, 07:14 PM
#51
Three Wheelin'
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I'm sort of a humorless sort, but here goes -
A new poster named Pierre LeScammaire from Canada posts on the 993 board offering to raffle off his 993 Turbo S in showroom condition to the highest rennlist bidder. All proceeds of the sale, he says, will go to charity. Pierre is immediately accosted by a bevy of 993 board members for trying, once again, to scam the rennlist community. Viken jumps in and informs Mr. LeScammaire (if that really is his name) that this "raffle" is a violation of the rennlist charter and must be stopped (not before Pierre has been skewered in about every way imaginable). Lost in the midst of the feeding frenzy is one lone bid - from Jimbob Jumpback, offering "well if nones of yuses is gonna be biddin, then I's a willin to pay up to 100 merican dollars for that there presstine Turbo Ess." After the post is deleted, Pierre lets Jimbob know he is the winner and some unnamed Canadian charity gets an anonymous $100 donation. Jimbob is never heard from again on rennlist, but there are occasional reports that he now drives a very nice car.
A new poster named Pierre LeScammaire from Canada posts on the 993 board offering to raffle off his 993 Turbo S in showroom condition to the highest rennlist bidder. All proceeds of the sale, he says, will go to charity. Pierre is immediately accosted by a bevy of 993 board members for trying, once again, to scam the rennlist community. Viken jumps in and informs Mr. LeScammaire (if that really is his name) that this "raffle" is a violation of the rennlist charter and must be stopped (not before Pierre has been skewered in about every way imaginable). Lost in the midst of the feeding frenzy is one lone bid - from Jimbob Jumpback, offering "well if nones of yuses is gonna be biddin, then I's a willin to pay up to 100 merican dollars for that there presstine Turbo Ess." After the post is deleted, Pierre lets Jimbob know he is the winner and some unnamed Canadian charity gets an anonymous $100 donation. Jimbob is never heard from again on rennlist, but there are occasional reports that he now drives a very nice car.
10-31-2003, 08:09 PM
#52
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The Real 997
Porsche today announced that the various 997 test mules that have been spotted with a "993 look" about them are decoys meant to throw off rabid fans of the marque. The real 997s will sport a new look inspired by a classic 911, but in truth it is the 964, not the 993.
According to Helmut Riesen, the lead designer on the 997, "We realized thaht the 993 body style didn't offer enough room for the radiators, so we looked to the 964, with it's huge front bumper. By extending these bumpers a bit more we were able to fit all of the plumbing, radiators, and safety equipment. In order to balance the car we extended the rear as well, which enhances safety and also provides room for the standard sat-nav, park-distance control, and Bluetooth hardware. There is also enough room left for a set of golf clubs, which will make our US customers very happy."
in keeping with the more is better theme and the larger relative size of the 997, the rearview mirrors and other bits are as much as 30% bigger than on the original. The wheels, which are based on the classic 964 style, are 20", allowing Porsche to keep up with other styling trends. Helmut Riesen noted that "We even increased the size of the little spoiler thingy (sic), one of the styling hallmarks of the 964."
Recent spy shots show undisguised 997s with their near final styling:
According to Helmut Riesen, the lead designer on the 997, "We realized thaht the 993 body style didn't offer enough room for the radiators, so we looked to the 964, with it's huge front bumper. By extending these bumpers a bit more we were able to fit all of the plumbing, radiators, and safety equipment. In order to balance the car we extended the rear as well, which enhances safety and also provides room for the standard sat-nav, park-distance control, and Bluetooth hardware. There is also enough room left for a set of golf clubs, which will make our US customers very happy."
in keeping with the more is better theme and the larger relative size of the 997, the rearview mirrors and other bits are as much as 30% bigger than on the original. The wheels, which are based on the classic 964 style, are 20", allowing Porsche to keep up with other styling trends. Helmut Riesen noted that "We even increased the size of the little spoiler thingy (sic), one of the styling hallmarks of the 964."
Recent spy shots show undisguised 997s with their near final styling:
11-01-2003, 08:36 AM
#54
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Thread Starter
Randall
Which vehicle are you refering to? The one in the foreground or the one in the background?
(And God help us if the pumper boys see this.)
Which vehicle are you refering to? The one in the foreground or the one in the background?
(And God help us if the pumper boys see this.)
11-01-2003, 11:15 AM
#55
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Originally posted by Mike in Chi
Randall
Which vehicle are you refering to? The one in the foreground or the one in the background?
(And God help us if the pumper boys see this.)
Randall
Which vehicle are you refering to? The one in the foreground or the one in the background?
(And God help us if the pumper boys see this.)
11-01-2003, 06:46 PM
#56
Nordschleife Master
And the winner is...
?????? Mike, hurry and post the winner. I can hardly wait to get my HWFM Racing wearable.
Great submissions, BTW, both here and on the 964 board. Their humor was more directed at 993 guys, whereas the 993 board went after Porsche in general. What does that mean? Is "someone" feeling a mite defensive?
?????? Mike, hurry and post the winner. I can hardly wait to get my HWFM Racing wearable.
Great submissions, BTW, both here and on the 964 board. Their humor was more directed at 993 guys, whereas the 993 board went after Porsche in general. What does that mean? Is "someone" feeling a mite defensive?
11-02-2003, 10:51 AM
#57
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It's obvious that the 993's styling wasn't inspired by the 964. Rather, here is its inspiration (remember, scary thoughts!)
I'll second Steve's comment--lots of good humor on both boards.
