FlyYellow

In the time honored tradition of applying for membership I came up with the following rather embarassing moments.

#1 DARWIN AWARD-WORTHY:
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Being paranoid about tight lug nuts, I managed to borrow a torque wrench from John (a HWFMR member). being unfamiliar with the snap-on wrench, I continuously tightened my alloy lug nuts until one broke off. Most people who looked at it said - i've never seen someone do that before.

#2: PERVERT AWARD-WORTHY:
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I was instructing a rather good looking blonde at a local autox. She kept spinning the rear end around because she was getting nervous in the turns and applied brakes. After a couple runs I got her to stop braking but she was still lifting and the car was still squirrelly. To demonstrate the importance of shifting the weight to the rear wheels I finally grabbed her right leg as she started to lift and solidly planted it on the gas pedal. Needless to say the car stuck and she was excited, rather blushed and looked over to me and said "I can't believe you did that - but that's what i needed - thank you". She's asked for my instruction at several other autox's so i guess i didn't offend!

#3: IN TRUE TURTLE FORM:
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At thunderhill, I had a friend of mine go for a ride with another driver at one of my first track days. he came out of the car shaking and said that was exhilarating and was more exciting than jumping out of an airplane. I took him for a ride and he said that i didn't come close to scaring but I managed to get him to feel car sick.... I promptly explained that a good driver makes the car feel slow but actually is going fast. He pointed out the 11 second difference stated on my lap timer!!!



OK I'm done

Verdict please....

hoffman912

hmmm.. being fast and making others sick.. not very turtle like.

however, you have definitly proven your worth with your ways with the ladies (youre my hero man !!) and with torque wrenches...

you got my approval Boris!

just make sure to fax pleanty of beer!

STLPCA

Seems to me that one post which includes constricted nuts, a blonde w/a loose rear & a nauseating drive merits HWFMR approval ... if just to head off more about Boris' escapades

Subject to the BT's blessing:

Eyal 951

I like him!
~Eyal

Jeff96-993

I thought perverts got approved no matter what... that's how I made it on the team...

PogueMoHone

I think Boris should be put on probation and his application put on ice.

The reason, misrepresenting a "turtle".

His fancy explanations do nothing to explain the fact that he has been masquerading as an autocross instructor.

Further, rumor has it that he passed a GT2 and these are both apparent inconsistencies with HWFMR.

I might be happy to do an observational run with him some time at an autocross... but I have no desire to have my leg grabbed.

I am sure that while he has the "spirit" the "flesh" is weak.

Some remedial practices will get him back on track and make him a worthy member...maybe a promise never to pass a GT2

ca993twin

I rather like all three stories, and would suggest "provisional" membership. That is, provisional until both Harry and I are satisfied with the quantity and quality of the beer. Hey wait a darn minute... how did Harry start horning in on my beer action? Forget Harry.

So Boris... got a team function in mind? I'm thinking "lug nut torquer". You can use it, but it'll cost you a couple of more beers.

FlyYellow

man - this is a tough crowd.

first i'm accused of passing a gt2. let me just say in my defense that i'd only pass a white gt2 (because it is practically invisible).

second - can someone pubish a list of fax #s to which they would like beer delivered. i supply the world's finest!

perhpas that will retire any provisional concepts...

Cheers,
Boris

viperbob

I have to vote in favor of Boris' nomination. If he ever breaks the rules, we can show his wife the story of the blonde and she will take care of him.....

FlyYellow

bob there is old jewish grandma saying: it doesn't matter where you get your hunger as long as you always eat at home...

besides you forgot that i have the old edit button available.

nman413

I vote that we overlook the GT2 passing as I did the same too but I would say that Boris needs to post pix of said blonde , preferably with a recreation of the leg grabbing.

[edit]: abuse of the edit button to say oy vey!

FlyYellow

a gentleman never posts pics...

nman413

I didnt know/think you were one :P

Time to whip out the.....

FlyYellow

you guys are killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike in Chi

Boris

an excellent application. this could be an example to other applicants.

And "it doesn't matter where you get your hunger as long as you always eat at home..." could get you an instant spanking from the Mother Superior (she has a dirty mind)

Interesting that the blonde asked for additional instruction.


And our legal counsel has a twisted, yet funny, mind "Seems to me that one post which includes constricted nuts, a blonde w/a loose rear & a nauseating drive merits HWFMR approval " So with his endorsement, and despite Colm's worries:

Membership, with full priviledges, granted. Welcome to the team.