"My application for membership in HWFMR"
02-26-2004, 05:05 PM
#1
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"My application for membership in HWFMR"
”You have shown true understanding, weedhopper!
And you're two-thirds of the way there, Brother Mooty.”
With those words from Mike in chi and meeting various illustrious members of HWFMR team such as green turtle, Tom W.; the hopelessly nutty Kim; the passionate French who keeps buying weird English car, Arnaud W and many others; I have decided to submit my application to become the Director of “Unsanctioned” Track Event Planning of the prestigious HWFMR team.
Why should I be admitted? Well, my “racing” career started in a 2002 996C2. It was slow and heavy with that extra radiator in there. On day one, I was not only slow, I spun off T8 at Thunderhill by missing the apex by a whole track width and came to a full stop. I am not a back marker nor moving chicane, I am more like the stationary flagger’s station as I waved frantically in my stalled C2 for help. Those who are familiar with Munch’s painting “Scream” can only imagine my facial expression.
But knowing one day I want to become a member of HWFR, I knew I had to be slower. So rather than C2, I switched to a C4S hoping that AWD will slow me down some more with its inherent understeer. For those who can drive fast, AWD understeers a bit. For me, they just don’t’ turn. I don’t spin much in those, I just go straight off track, slowly that is. After all, AWD are meant for dirt. In all seriousness, AWD sure did slow me down as I routinely rest my right foot on the middle pedal entering T8 at Willow Springs. Hum.. two different tracks but always at T8…..
As I gained experience in “racing,” I came to the realization that being slow is an art. It’s quite Zen. Why care about the fast moving car around you? They are missing out on the scenery. Slow down, sip some mocha when you take Button Willow’s Bus Stop (after all, you have to stop there) or utilize your HAND HELD camcorder down the Cork Screw of Laguna Seca as the infamous Suwipin does every time he laps me. He lapped me 3x in a 25 min session (another proof of my worthiness for the team)… but I digress…. To fully appreciate the Zen of slowness, I graduated from my 996C4S to a highly stock, big horsepower, naturally aspirated, 4 cylinder vintage miata. Now as I crest T8 (eight again) above the hills of Laguna Seca, I no longer worry about aiming for the trees as turn-in guides, I just clip the dirt and enjoy the distant view of the pacific ocean. Now, that’s “racing”….
But just being plain slow is boring. As some other rennlister who have shared track time with me can attest that I have perfected the “dancing point by” … when I wave faster cars by (virtually any box with wheels on) I don’t just point, I move both my hands furiously out the driver’s window (you wonder who or what is holding the steering wheel) with all sorts of obscene gesture FORCING you to get by me before I go into my usual 4 wheel drift (some people tell me I was just spinning, not drifting…. Semantics, really ;o) even in the slow miata….
OH… if you wonder about my title, heehee…. I am only allowed X number of DE’s by my wife. She’s mean and scary and drives a much bigger car than I. But, to excel in the Zen of slowness, I needed more than X days of DE to practice. I thought X+Y days would be good. “Y” = days that wife doesn’t know I am “working” on the track, thus “unsanctioned”
Well, I think I am slow enough for the team. And of course, those members who vote me in will get plenty of faxed, warm, and expired beers.
Now, I await the chief turtle to approve my application. Wish me luck, guys.
And you're two-thirds of the way there, Brother Mooty.”
With those words from Mike in chi and meeting various illustrious members of HWFMR team such as green turtle, Tom W.; the hopelessly nutty Kim; the passionate French who keeps buying weird English car, Arnaud W and many others; I have decided to submit my application to become the Director of “Unsanctioned” Track Event Planning of the prestigious HWFMR team.
Why should I be admitted? Well, my “racing” career started in a 2002 996C2. It was slow and heavy with that extra radiator in there. On day one, I was not only slow, I spun off T8 at Thunderhill by missing the apex by a whole track width and came to a full stop. I am not a back marker nor moving chicane, I am more like the stationary flagger’s station as I waved frantically in my stalled C2 for help. Those who are familiar with Munch’s painting “Scream” can only imagine my facial expression.
But knowing one day I want to become a member of HWFR, I knew I had to be slower. So rather than C2, I switched to a C4S hoping that AWD will slow me down some more with its inherent understeer. For those who can drive fast, AWD understeers a bit. For me, they just don’t’ turn. I don’t spin much in those, I just go straight off track, slowly that is. After all, AWD are meant for dirt. In all seriousness, AWD sure did slow me down as I routinely rest my right foot on the middle pedal entering T8 at Willow Springs. Hum.. two different tracks but always at T8…..
As I gained experience in “racing,” I came to the realization that being slow is an art. It’s quite Zen. Why care about the fast moving car around you? They are missing out on the scenery. Slow down, sip some mocha when you take Button Willow’s Bus Stop (after all, you have to stop there) or utilize your HAND HELD camcorder down the Cork Screw of Laguna Seca as the infamous Suwipin does every time he laps me. He lapped me 3x in a 25 min session (another proof of my worthiness for the team)… but I digress…. To fully appreciate the Zen of slowness, I graduated from my 996C4S to a highly stock, big horsepower, naturally aspirated, 4 cylinder vintage miata. Now as I crest T8 (eight again) above the hills of Laguna Seca, I no longer worry about aiming for the trees as turn-in guides, I just clip the dirt and enjoy the distant view of the pacific ocean. Now, that’s “racing”….
But just being plain slow is boring. As some other rennlister who have shared track time with me can attest that I have perfected the “dancing point by” … when I wave faster cars by (virtually any box with wheels on) I don’t just point, I move both my hands furiously out the driver’s window (you wonder who or what is holding the steering wheel) with all sorts of obscene gesture FORCING you to get by me before I go into my usual 4 wheel drift (some people tell me I was just spinning, not drifting…. Semantics, really ;o) even in the slow miata….
OH… if you wonder about my title, heehee…. I am only allowed X number of DE’s by my wife. She’s mean and scary and drives a much bigger car than I. But, to excel in the Zen of slowness, I needed more than X days of DE to practice. I thought X+Y days would be good. “Y” = days that wife doesn’t know I am “working” on the track, thus “unsanctioned”
Well, I think I am slow enough for the team. And of course, those members who vote me in will get plenty of faxed, warm, and expired beers.
Now, I await the chief turtle to approve my application. Wish me luck, guys.
02-26-2004, 05:43 PM
#2
Burning Brakes
I know I'm a non-team member, but I would like to point out that Mooty has also been very slow to paint his garage, which should also probably be taken into consideration
with this application IMVHO.
with this application IMVHO.
02-26-2004, 06:04 PM
#4
Nordschleife Master
John (Mooty),
Your application is an inspiration for all prospective HWFM Racing wannabes. Read it and weep. It passes my strict guidelines with flying colors. But wait... did you mention "FAXING" some beers? I still have beer stains on my carpet from the last guy that tried faxing me a six-pack. email. Always use email so the recepient can have a proper container ready. I think you must have heard that in a previous thread, so I'm guessing you're a slow learner. But, as we have discovered, slow is zen, and zen is good. I'll be watching for email.
Your application is an inspiration for all prospective HWFM Racing wannabes. Read it and weep. It passes my strict guidelines with flying colors. But wait... did you mention "FAXING" some beers? I still have beer stains on my carpet from the last guy that tried faxing me a six-pack. email. Always use email so the recepient can have a proper container ready. I think you must have heard that in a previous thread, so I'm guessing you're a slow learner. But, as we have discovered, slow is zen, and zen is good. I'll be watching for email.
02-26-2004, 06:15 PM
#5
Burning Brakes
Wellllll....My current car IS a Tiptronic, and it DOES have a seemingly insurmountable detonation issue which would serve the HWFM Racing mission credo well, should I take it to a track anytime soon. Plus it does take me ALL DAY to come up with one lousy cartoon... So Phil, I would have to say I am humbly honored to accept your kind nomination. I do of course understand that nomination is just the first hurdle in the byzantine HWFM nominating process...
Thank you.
Thank you.
02-26-2004, 06:19 PM
#7
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As a fellow 993 and Miata owner I second (third? forth? force?) the application! Wait, wait he sold Miata. All in an attempt to go even slower. He's definitely the HWFMR material.
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02-26-2004, 06:21 PM
#8
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pyramid ale coming your way via email.
incidentally before turning into banking i was (well still is) an architect. i worked on the pyramid ale microbrew/restaurant in berkeley, CA. specifically the parking area. if any of you guys are nearby, check it out.
incidentally before turning into banking i was (well still is) an architect. i worked on the pyramid ale microbrew/restaurant in berkeley, CA. specifically the parking area. if any of you guys are nearby, check it out.
02-26-2004, 06:31 PM
#9
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i have a 93 base miata in college. parents found out. thought it's too small and too dangerous. forced me to sell it. then i bought a 94 base miata about 1 month after i sold the 93. didn't realized how good those little buggers are i sold that one too. aboutj two years ago i bought a 94 "R" package (the red one above) sold it by mistake. bought a whilte 2003 miata club sport. had some ISSUES with it and sold it by mistake again. see the pattern... i keep making mistakes. i am SLOW. now i have an ulgy blue/purple/red/black spec miata that's louder than kim's yellow zonker.
since i am SLOW, i need loud exhaust to announce my arrival.
since i am SLOW, i need loud exhaust to announce my arrival.
02-26-2004, 06:31 PM
#10
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John
A truly exceptional application. The flagging station image, the unsanctioned track days, the Munch reference... I am deeply impressed.
Not to give anyone a peek under the tent, but I have planned a place of honor for it on the new team website that Princeton is building.
Yes, you are in (actually you would be in due to the two P-cars clause). But you still must send the O.F. a couple of cyber beers. He does enjoy them so.
Plus anyone who can't pass a Mini is a high round draft pick for our team. (That's draft, not draught)
As to your official team function, let see... Team Zen Master, Team Architect, Team Brew Pub Builder...?
Welcome.
A truly exceptional application. The flagging station image, the unsanctioned track days, the Munch reference... I am deeply impressed.
Not to give anyone a peek under the tent, but I have planned a place of honor for it on the new team website that Princeton is building.
Yes, you are in (actually you would be in due to the two P-cars clause). But you still must send the O.F. a couple of cyber beers. He does enjoy them so.
Plus anyone who can't pass a Mini is a high round draft pick for our team. (That's draft, not draught)
As to your official team function, let see... Team Zen Master, Team Architect, Team Brew Pub Builder...?
Welcome.
02-26-2004, 06:37 PM
#11
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Originally posted by mooty
i have a 93 base miata in college. parents found out. thought it's too small and too dangerous. forced me to sell it. then i bought a 94 base miata about 1 month after i sold the 93. didn't realized how good those little buggers are i sold that one too. aboutj two years ago i bought a 94 "R" package (the red one above) sold it by mistake. bought a whilte 2003 miata club sport. had some ISSUES with it and sold it by mistake again. see the pattern... i keep making mistakes. i am SLOW.
i have a 93 base miata in college. parents found out. thought it's too small and too dangerous. forced me to sell it. then i bought a 94 base miata about 1 month after i sold the 93. didn't realized how good those little buggers are i sold that one too. aboutj two years ago i bought a 94 "R" package (the red one above) sold it by mistake. bought a whilte 2003 miata club sport. had some ISSUES with it and sold it by mistake again. see the pattern... i keep making mistakes. i am SLOW.
Except I got my first one in '91.I finally broke down and bought a Miata because MR2SC that I have is not competitive in autocorssing. Since I do some of my autocrossing with Miata club, I slapped a big home-made sticker "If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them" the first time I was out there in my just-purchased '2000. They still rib me about that one.
It sounds like you're in the same boat - Miata race car and P for the street?
02-26-2004, 06:38 PM
#12
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Matt
Yes it is indeed a byzantine application process. It can even be sado-masochistic if the Mother Superior happens to be online whne you apply.
But you are a funny guy. You are even paid to be funny. The backbone of this team is funny.
Plus you have a tip, which further adds to your credibility.
Hmmmmm, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. We have never had a visual application before.
Matt...????
Yes it is indeed a byzantine application process. It can even be sado-masochistic if the Mother Superior happens to be online whne you apply.
But you are a funny guy. You are even paid to be funny. The backbone of this team is funny.
Plus you have a tip, which further adds to your credibility.
Hmmmmm, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. We have never had a visual application before.
Matt...????
02-26-2004, 06:40 PM
#13
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Chief Turtle and all other esteemed comrades, thank you for your acceptance. i have promptly updaetd my signautre below.
old fart, "you got mail"... warm beer arriving.
old fart, "you got mail"... warm beer arriving.
02-26-2004, 07:06 PM
#14
Burning Brakes
Originally posted by Mike in Chi
Hmmmmm, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. We have never had a visual application before.
Matt...????
Hmmmmm, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. We have never had a visual application before.
Matt...????
This may take some time. The truly vigilant may have noticed that I haven't even gotten round to drawing my own avatar yet. But...You have set the wheels in motion. Very slowly, of course....