The Bozomobile is gone !
01-29-2004, 11:33 AM
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The Bozomobile is gone !
That's it. The bozomobile has left the circus tent! Bozo is porscheless. First the 356, now this ! However, it was the right thing to do, as there are things in life a lot more important than cars. Home ownership is one, spousal health is another. Bozo figures he can always find himself a nice one in a couple of years and enjoy the depreciation discount then.
The sale was interesting enough, though not up to par with a bozo DIY. The first buyer that came by knew as much about 911s as Wiedeking knows about Porsche's heritage. That was fine, bozo loves to share his modest porsche knowledge (knowledge is like strawberry jam, the less you got, the more you gotta spread it) and promote the good works from Stuttgart.
After a brief course on 911 history, advantages and disadvantages of all models and establishing there was indeed interest enough to justify a test drive, Bozo unwillingly relinquished control of the car to buyer A. Buyer A proceeded to shift from 1st to second at the speed of light and produce nice crashing sounds from the otherwise buttery gearbox and shifting up zealously at.... 2500 rpm, smack in the middle of the torque curve of ...a Golf diesel. Bozo insisted as much as he tactfully could that shifting was best kept until higher RPMS, such as 3500 minimum (or so) in town, but that made zero impression. The lugging continued unabated accompanied by motion jerkiness (floor hinged pedal in a 911? you don't say, on a new clutch no less) and immediate discussion about a rebate on the asking price.
Bozo was kinda bothered, as he had done a lot of good work on said vehicle and was hoping for someone who might appreciate that. Not even pay for it, mind you, just acknowledge it!!! Bozo wanted his baby to find a good home.
Eventually, Bozo could take no more of the lugging and proceeded tactfully to reinsert himself in the driver's seat and demo the car's capabilities to see if a flame could be lit in buyer A's eyes, or under his butt. A few gears were taken to 6500 rpm on a deserted on-ramp (while the car was screaming "thank you"), with perfectly smooth shifts, thanks very much, triple digits speeds were reached in the blink of an eye and a powerful application of new anchors on fresh rubber was demonstrated to get back to legal speeds and drive the following point home. "This ain't your mama's SUV" !
Expecting a big grin from the passenger, bozo turned towards Buyer A, but was shocked to see extremely dilated pupils instead, and probably a really tight sphincter. Tight enough that Bozo, if he were so inclined, might have inserted a couple of olives there and received cold pressed olive oil. Buyer A admitted that while highly impressive, this was probably way too much car for him.
Fair enough thought bozo, as he did want a good home for the car, as well as an owner who'd treat the car as a sports car, too...
Enter Buyer B. Same story, clueless about 911s too. Bozo was starting to despair of finding a true enthusiast, but he nevertheless proceeded to deliver "The Word" again, accompanied by a glimpse of Bozo's shrine (50 or so 1/18th porsche models detailing the evolution of the great marque, plus enough posters to cover 4 walls). Buyer B, who until now had never noticed much difference between a 996 and 993, decided there and then that the 993 was the prettiest car he's ever laid his eyes on! Instant lust ! That's just watching pictures and model cars, OK, before even seing the bozomobile still hidden in the garage! An auspicious start !
The circus tent flaps were opened and the bozomobile was once again revealed in all its splendor, instantly causing drool to start flowing on buyer B's chin. Another good sign, maybe a convert ? Only a drive would tell... . This time Bozo started the test drive at the wheel in order to establish suitability of the buyer right away and reduce olive oil production on the passenger seat. The very same demo this time produced an ear to ear, face splitting, **** eating grin and an uncontrollable nervous twitch in the buyer's impatient right foot! Now driving with minimal coaching, buyer B proceeded to shift the car smoothly - like he'd done this before - clearly someone worthy of the 911 cause, and even better, the guy would not know how to spell "lugging" to save his life.
A worthy candidate had been found! Not just that, a 911 virgin had been brought into the fold! A PPI was done, and the most **** german mechanic at the dealership whose usual motto is "zis car iz ****" called the car "very nice", the equivalent of #$$$@$ perfect in his dialect ! The transaction took place a day later at asking price, after a barrage of additional questions from the excited new owner, another good sign the car will be cared for. Then she was backed out of the circus tent... Gulp... Not a good feeling for Bozo. Then again, she lives fairly close to home and Bozo has visitation rights.
Now it's time to tell the mortgage company to shove something in a dark place and look for a project 356A for Bozo to keep his sanity. If you hear of any such car (57-59 in decent shape), let the clown know ! That'll pretty much guarantee more bozo DIY stories and damaged limbs !
Bozo would like to formally thank each and every member of the 993 board for their help, John D for promising to sell me his car in 2 years based on a discounted value from his purchase price (Ok, so that's wishful thinking) - - and particularly Robin in this difficult time for his invaluable p-car site and RSR generosity. My most sincere condolences to him, too...
The sale was interesting enough, though not up to par with a bozo DIY. The first buyer that came by knew as much about 911s as Wiedeking knows about Porsche's heritage. That was fine, bozo loves to share his modest porsche knowledge (knowledge is like strawberry jam, the less you got, the more you gotta spread it) and promote the good works from Stuttgart.
After a brief course on 911 history, advantages and disadvantages of all models and establishing there was indeed interest enough to justify a test drive, Bozo unwillingly relinquished control of the car to buyer A. Buyer A proceeded to shift from 1st to second at the speed of light and produce nice crashing sounds from the otherwise buttery gearbox and shifting up zealously at.... 2500 rpm, smack in the middle of the torque curve of ...a Golf diesel. Bozo insisted as much as he tactfully could that shifting was best kept until higher RPMS, such as 3500 minimum (or so) in town, but that made zero impression. The lugging continued unabated accompanied by motion jerkiness (floor hinged pedal in a 911? you don't say, on a new clutch no less) and immediate discussion about a rebate on the asking price.
Bozo was kinda bothered, as he had done a lot of good work on said vehicle and was hoping for someone who might appreciate that. Not even pay for it, mind you, just acknowledge it!!! Bozo wanted his baby to find a good home.
Eventually, Bozo could take no more of the lugging and proceeded tactfully to reinsert himself in the driver's seat and demo the car's capabilities to see if a flame could be lit in buyer A's eyes, or under his butt. A few gears were taken to 6500 rpm on a deserted on-ramp (while the car was screaming "thank you"), with perfectly smooth shifts, thanks very much, triple digits speeds were reached in the blink of an eye and a powerful application of new anchors on fresh rubber was demonstrated to get back to legal speeds and drive the following point home. "This ain't your mama's SUV" !
Expecting a big grin from the passenger, bozo turned towards Buyer A, but was shocked to see extremely dilated pupils instead, and probably a really tight sphincter. Tight enough that Bozo, if he were so inclined, might have inserted a couple of olives there and received cold pressed olive oil. Buyer A admitted that while highly impressive, this was probably way too much car for him.
Fair enough thought bozo, as he did want a good home for the car, as well as an owner who'd treat the car as a sports car, too...
Enter Buyer B. Same story, clueless about 911s too. Bozo was starting to despair of finding a true enthusiast, but he nevertheless proceeded to deliver "The Word" again, accompanied by a glimpse of Bozo's shrine (50 or so 1/18th porsche models detailing the evolution of the great marque, plus enough posters to cover 4 walls). Buyer B, who until now had never noticed much difference between a 996 and 993, decided there and then that the 993 was the prettiest car he's ever laid his eyes on! Instant lust ! That's just watching pictures and model cars, OK, before even seing the bozomobile still hidden in the garage! An auspicious start !
The circus tent flaps were opened and the bozomobile was once again revealed in all its splendor, instantly causing drool to start flowing on buyer B's chin. Another good sign, maybe a convert ? Only a drive would tell... . This time Bozo started the test drive at the wheel in order to establish suitability of the buyer right away and reduce olive oil production on the passenger seat. The very same demo this time produced an ear to ear, face splitting, **** eating grin and an uncontrollable nervous twitch in the buyer's impatient right foot! Now driving with minimal coaching, buyer B proceeded to shift the car smoothly - like he'd done this before - clearly someone worthy of the 911 cause, and even better, the guy would not know how to spell "lugging" to save his life.
A worthy candidate had been found! Not just that, a 911 virgin had been brought into the fold! A PPI was done, and the most **** german mechanic at the dealership whose usual motto is "zis car iz ****" called the car "very nice", the equivalent of #$$$@$ perfect in his dialect ! The transaction took place a day later at asking price, after a barrage of additional questions from the excited new owner, another good sign the car will be cared for. Then she was backed out of the circus tent... Gulp... Not a good feeling for Bozo. Then again, she lives fairly close to home and Bozo has visitation rights.
Now it's time to tell the mortgage company to shove something in a dark place and look for a project 356A for Bozo to keep his sanity. If you hear of any such car (57-59 in decent shape), let the clown know ! That'll pretty much guarantee more bozo DIY stories and damaged limbs !
Bozo would like to formally thank each and every member of the 993 board for their help, John D for promising to sell me his car in 2 years based on a discounted value from his purchase price (Ok, so that's wishful thinking) - - and particularly Robin in this difficult time for his invaluable p-car site and RSR generosity. My most sincere condolences to him, too...
01-29-2004, 11:52 AM
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It is sad to see you partake your perfect bozomobile... Your bozo stories will be missed but if you are ever in the area where my circus is located be sure to drop by and drive my lion carrying truck so you can get your fix 
01-29-2004, 11:56 AM
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Excellent write up. If I ever have to sell my 993, my for sale ad is gonna make me sound like the biggest snob in the world. All prospective buyers will be intensely interviewed and non-Porsche owners need not apply. I could never stand the thought of a non-enthusiast owning my car.
01-29-2004, 12:05 PM
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That was a good read!
Shame you had to sell but I, for one, understand. My baby would be the first to go if I had to sell - not that it wouldn't break my heart - but needs must I suppose.
I hope you rejoin our clan again soon!
Shame you had to sell but I, for one, understand. My baby would be the first to go if I had to sell - not that it wouldn't break my heart - but needs must I suppose.
I hope you rejoin our clan again soon!
01-29-2004, 12:10 PM
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Greg,
Very entertaining narrative...sorry the real world forced the sale, but it sounds as if your priorities are in the right order. Damn! is this adulthood?
FastMaz
Very entertaining narrative...sorry the real world forced the sale, but it sounds as if your priorities are in the right order. Damn! is this adulthood?
FastMaz
01-29-2004, 12:11 PM
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Greg,
You WILL be gratified with you decision! Best to you and your wife, and please share your future Bozo-esque exploits with us, even if it IS with a non-Pcar.
Edward
You WILL be gratified with you decision! Best to you and your wife, and please share your future Bozo-esque exploits with us, even if it IS with a non-Pcar.
Edward
01-29-2004, 12:14 PM
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Greg,
May you be rewarded with a new GT3 one day for your sacrifice!
And remember that most enthusiasts were newbies at one time also.
Best of Luck,
Greg
May you be rewarded with a new GT3 one day for your sacrifice!
And remember that most enthusiasts were newbies at one time also.
Best of Luck,
Greg
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01-29-2004, 12:15 PM
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Oh, fret not, it will be a P-car. Right now Bozo commutes in a Mini Cooper (a clown car par excellence) but it's jsut a matter of time till he lays both left hands on a 356 project ! ;-)
And yeah, growing up sucks, but it's a wise move financially speaking.
And yeah, growing up sucks, but it's a wise move financially speaking.
01-29-2004, 12:22 PM
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I share your pain
I still miss my C4S on a daily basis even though it's been almost 2 months since it left my driveway.
As soon as I know my future employment status my wife has agreed that I NEED to get another Porsche. I've looked at a couple of 996's over the last few weeks and have determined that I will definitely be in another 993 C4S!
Until then, I'll drink a beer in Bozomobile's memory!
I still miss my C4S on a daily basis even though it's been almost 2 months since it left my driveway.
As soon as I know my future employment status my wife has agreed that I NEED to get another Porsche. I've looked at a couple of 996's over the last few weeks and have determined that I will definitely be in another 993 C4S!
Until then, I'll drink a beer in Bozomobile's memory!
01-29-2004, 12:23 PM
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Hey Greg, I've really enjoyed your threads (Bozo struck particular chord with me) and was truly sorry to hear the reason for your sale and wish you and yours all the best and look forward to reading about Bozo's restoration of a 356!
01-29-2004, 12:41 PM
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Hey Greg...!
Great post!!! Yep - I'm sorry too that you sold it, as I'll miss some of the - ummm, "stories"
Now about the 356.....
If you get one - we'll have quite a bit in common (rust ). But in two years - I can rust assure you that my 993 will be on "perfect" councourse (howthehell to you spell that?) condition - and will probably be on cover of 911 & Porsche World as the most "reburished" 993 know to exist. So - my asking price may have to increase accordingly.... Heh..... 
Great post!!! Yep - I'm sorry too that you sold it, as I'll miss some of the - ummm, "stories"
Now about the 356.....If you get one - we'll have quite a bit in common (rust
). But in two years - I can rust assure you that my 993 will be on "perfect" councourse (howthehell to you spell that?) condition - and will probably be on cover of 911 & Porsche World as the most "reburished" 993 know to exist. So - my asking price may have to increase accordingly.... Heh.....
01-29-2004, 12:42 PM
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bozo-------->great write-up. i'm printing that puppy! but i think i would have left buyer "a" on the side of the road... you're a much better man than me... letting him make olive oil in the passenger seat & such. you fully deserve the perfect p-car (356a & 993).
good on ya bozo! & we'll see ya back on the 993 board in the not too distant future.
x 20!
you fully deserve the perfect p-car (356a & 993).good on ya bozo! & we'll see ya back on the 993 board in the not too distant future.
x 20!
01-29-2004, 01:37 PM
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Greg, not an easy thing to do I know, but glad to hear you've found a good home for it.
Kind of reminds me when I rode with a friend who was doing a test drive of a fancy Eye-talian automobile. I just about bit through my lip refraining from critiquing his driving.
Kind of reminds me when I rode with a friend who was doing a test drive of a fancy Eye-talian automobile. I just about bit through my lip refraining from critiquing his driving.
