Kahdmus

I don't post fund raising requests or even off -topic threads very often. However on this occasion I would really appreciate it if you could humor me...

A few years ago, I lost my dad to cancer. This was the worst day of my life.

We had no family history of the disease, my dad was a relatively healthy 62 year old and therefore this came as a total shock. Living in the US and having my dad live through this disease 6,000 miles away was extremely difficult. At the end I had to make a mad dash across the Atlantic so I could be with him. I still find that I am in shock and denial at his passing and am left with a feeling of mortality that I never had before; this disease can hit anyone, at any time regardless of how well we think we take care of ourselves. Its not just scary, its terrifying.

One of the hardest parts to swallow was that it could have been detected early and prevented but was not. In fact misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis meant the cancer was allowed to spread throughout his body before it was finally detected...nauseates me to type this and think about it, especially when detection rates for so many types of cancer are getting better and better. I wonder if my dad had lived say 100 years later than he did, or even 50 or even 20...or even 10, whether this would have ended his life? Sooner or later medicine will find a cure and the more money invested will undoubtedly help us to arrive at that point sooner. Too late for my dad but there are millions more dads out there with children that love them too.

In addition to being passionate about Porsche's, nearly all of my life I have been a runner. I struggle to stay fit and gain weight easily. yet I still manage to run 20-30 miles on a weekly basis. No one else in my family shares this passion and I have tried on many occasions to get family members interested and coerce them to run with me...but to no avail, no way, no how!

I was fairly surprised then, and feeling more than a little guilty, to see that my older sister(Jayne) had enrolled in 'Race for Life' to raise money for Cancer Research. She hates running and I realize that this is a big deal for her, but something she feels she needs to do to honor our Dad. She is taking part on fathers day and this is the best possible way she could thank our dad for being such an amazing and caring man.

I am sure others here have been affected by this horrible, horrible disease and I am not the only one here to lose a dad or family member in this way. So please follow the link below to check out my sister and niece's fund raising page. A fathers day gift to help diagnose, treat and put an end to cancer would be fantastic, even if its just the cost of a fathers day card! Even if you cannot donate this time, please check out her page by clicking on the link below:


http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/jayneduffy


Thanks if you've read this far and happy fathers day in advance.


--Howard

BlueHeeler

That cause is worth at least a tenner.

Contributed

Kahdmus

Wow, right after I posted, thanks Blueheeler, I really, really appreciate it. Rennlisters aren't like most people though, especially on this board, which is why I decided to post this.

Obviously its very close to my heart and I am really proud of my big sister. I don't think she expected to get many sponsors, hence the low target, so it would be just wonderful to see her really exceed expectations.

Thank you SO much.

N51

Dear Howard,

Our mortality fuels the romance of life. May the Creator and Author of it give
you peace.

Kahdmus

Hi Noah, there is truth in those words for sure.

However there is no romance or even much life worth living in watching someone you love spend three years of hell having operation after operation, looking like death after chemo, lossing their hair, having to poo through a tube into a bag (and getting toxic poisoning because they cannot relieve themselves), getting so frail they cannot stand and continuing to fighting like mad even though they know all hope is really lost.

I was holding my dad's hand when he died and could hardly recognize him after cancer had ravaged his body. I pray that you and I die in our sleep or get hit by a bus because nobody wants some of the alternatives.

Thanks for the thoughts, I do honestly appreciate the sentiment.

Best to you,

--H

PS. Reading my words perhaps this isn't the right reply as the point of this thread and my sisters effort is one of optimism. The possibility of others avoiding my dad's fate through earlier detection, education, treatment etc. is a real one and seems to get more real everyday with the research being carried out. It stands to reason that we will beat cancer but I think 'how soon' is something we can directly affect through funding research.

Kahdmus

Hoping I can get away with a shameless bump?

Still lots of help needed....


http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/jayneduffy


Thanks,

--H

Scotty964cab

Dear Howard,
Thank you for sharing a very private part of your life in our forum. I'm privelaged to witness your courage. Sharing about your Dad has me emotional, but teaches me I'm not alone. Happy Father's day to you and all you love. Good luck to your Sister and the cause she has put herself into.

Kahdmus

Scotty, I know your mind is only in one place right now and so it means a lot that you would help out, thank you! --H. (I really, really appreciated the PM)

Kahdmus

DavidI, thank you so much. I only just noticed what you had done and really appreciate it, thank you! --H

mark lintott

Done. They're doing what I wish I had the committment to do myself. The 6000 mile thing I can relate to and is a daily reminder of one of the shortcomings of being out here.

Cheers

Kahdmus

Mark,

Thank you. This is exactly how I felt although doubly so as I am supposedly the runner in the family and my sister can't stand to run yet has the strength of character to put me to shame.

Cheers,

Howard

cshaida

Chipped in a bit. Your help to all of us newbies certainly deserves a little consideration for such a worthy cause.

tommyz

I'll give. Good luck! --Tommy

Kahdmus

Guy's thank you so much for supporting this. I was not expecting to get emotional but the response to this post has had such an unexpected humbling effect on me I feel I have to share.

My sister called me last night and was filled with emotion because of the support from rennlisters; the show of unconditional human kindness on top of something already close to the heart got us both in quite an emotionally charged state. As we were talking an email came-in informing her of cshaida's donation, the timing was too much, pushing her over the edge and into tears at the generosity of people she has never met.

I don't really know what to say, Rennlist always comes through, whether a slipping clutch, squeaky brakes or something as profound as the generosity shown here.

You guys have really touched my heart, thank you.

John Boggiano

This is what Rennlist, and especially the 964 board, is so good at and why it is such a great place.

H, regarding the second paragraph of your last post - been there... Simple, yet thoughtful, acts by others are extremely powerful things.