kshipp

This isn't near as good/entertaining as the others, but it's still somewhat embarrassing.

This was the first week of owning the '91 928S4, and the second day of driving it to work. I got to work a little early (7:45ish), found the perfect (ding-free) parking space, made sure all lights were off, etc. Turned off ignition, removed key, set parking brake, put sun-shade in window, etc. Got out of car, walked across parking lot and looked back to see shark - no lights on (just to be sure).

Now...5pm rolls around, everyone leaving for work. A co-worker wants to see the shark - I guide him around it - he loves it. I try to open doors with remote fob, but doors won't unlock. I enter with my key manually. It's mid-August (100+ degrees). I try to start shark, but nothing. No clicking, no turn of engine, nothing. I call cousin to jump-start it. Once we hook-up the cables, the left-side marker lights appear to be on. (?) We let it charge for a few min and then I open the door - the alarm goes off. Keep-in-mind, everyone is still leaving from work. I was able to reopen the door with the key to stop the alarm. I try to start the shark and she starts up immediately.

I've learned the hard way - to make sure I don't bump the control switch for the side-marker lights when exiting the car. I now walk around the car just to be sure.
Another great lesson learned from this forum: get a portable booster!
Ironically, I was on my way to surprise my cousin with my new shark.....instead I got the surprise.

pappy92651

I'm on highway 1 enjoying my car just after the bozo shop replaced my radiator. As I'm stopped at the light an ML55 AMG pulls up and revs it. I answer back. We both launch hard, then my top radiator hose comes off, and the windshield is covered with coolant. I limp off to the side of the road and pop the hood. No hose clamps!

DaveW

One morning rush hour I was giving a friend a lift to glasgow airport. While cruising along with the traffic in the "fast" lane of the motorway at about 60 he very calmly said 'your car is on fire'. And boy was was right! All of a sudden there was thick smoke billowing from the passenger footwell electrics. First thought is to pull over FAST and switch off. Problem was that the motorway at that point was crossing the kingston bridge, at which point it's 10 lanes wide (5 each way) all solid with cars (I just happen to pick the busiest bridge in europe for this, duh). There was no way I had time to work my way through 5 lanes to the outside and even if I did there was no hard shoulder on the bridge. At that point I see a small service access break in the central reservation coming up. So I dive into there, crashing a couple of cones to get in, slam on the anchors and cut the ignition. I rush round the back to disconect the battery but don't have the tools - luckily killing the ignition seems to have done the trick and the smoke dispersed.

I called my recovery service who said there was nothing they could do for me while I was on the central reservation, or on a bridge! They advised I should call the police. When I did this I was told that there were a couple of cars on the way already, as they had received a report from the bridge camera operators. Got to say the police were very smooth and professional. One hitched me up for a tow while the other stopped a lane of traffic to let up back out. Once I was off the bridge they even gave my mate a lift to the airport intime to catch his flight!

Cheers
DaveW

Thaddeus

Haven't had a 928 embarassment (yet). Had a minor one in my 951 the day the cam tower decided to start leaking onto the exhaust manifold. I checked it and could tell there wasn't enough leaking to cause a fire hazard, but there was enough smoke at stoplights on the way home that everybody was waving, pointing, yelling "hey your car is on fire or something" at me, and other helpful stuff.... not. It did look alarming, but did people think I couldn't tell there was an error condition?

H2

Driving a ricer to work to keep some jerk from messing up my 928's doors.

H

perrys4

cruising at 50 mph when the car suddenly downshifts two gears by itself. Very high rpms, pullinto a Taco bell parking lot and shut it off. Smells like it is on fire. Everyone that passes me on cell phone calling for tow is smiling. Failed Transmission.
Worst was when coolant hose developed a bad leak and is spraying all over the hot engine. White smoke pouring out of the cars hood. All the other cars are passing me with a look of horror on their faces. I am close to home so I turn the corner to find most of the neighbors outside as I pull into my driveway looking fully engulfed. Two neighbors rush to my aid to help extinguish the fire!! I calmly assured them it was fine and went directly into the house.

Big Dave

It's a toss-up between when my transmission failed (stuck valve) at a red light in a busy intersection or when the timing belt failed next to a busy ice cream stand. Both happened this summer. I'm a little tired of pushing the 928 and seeing it flat-bedded.

TeufelHei

I was stationed in San Diego the summer before last and I decided I should go visit my mother (aren't I a good son). I was doing a little more than the posted limit just outside of Camp Pendelton on I-5 N and moving to pass a slug in the right lane when my go-pedal went limp and droppped to the floor under the weight of my foot. I was still coasting along at a pretty good clip, so it took me a second to realize that my throttle cable had snapped. I uncerimoniously pulled over onto the shoulder. Bearing in mind that it was about 6:30 at night, traffic was thick but still moving pretty fast. A lot of people got a good look at a broke down 928 while I tried to figure out how to fix it. Incidently, Sprint cell phones don't get much in the way of reception out there.

I made it back to San Diego that night. An hour or so later, a very helpful guy stopped and gave me a hand. I ended up borrowing some speaker wire, thinning it out with some sand paper, and tying it off to the throttle arm and my gas pedal. I'm pretty sure that's not in the manual, but McGuyver would have approved. Normally I'm much more prepared for this sort of thing. It was embarrasing mostly because I was caught unawares.

Rufus Sanders

Oh, now youre asking for it.... Last fall, we went for a Fun Run from the Twin Cities to LaCrosse WI. We had 3 sharks and had a blast. Dave D. made us all dinner at his place in LaCrosse and my wife and I got a room at a B&B about 15 mi. outside of town.

The B&B was in Houston Mn., pretty much in the middle of nowhere, but really fantastic roads for sportscars/bike. We had a really nice stay and the next morning all the other people staying there were asking all sorts of questions about the 928. You all know how it is. You try to be polite and answer them without sounding like a jerk or snob,

At this point in time I still had an RMB on and this thing was loud as hell, so I was really looking forward to seeing the looks on their faces when I started her up. So, we pack up the car, say good-bye to everyone, get in the car and.... Yup. Nothing. Crank Crank Crank, Nothing. Crank some more because sometimes that helps. Nothing.

After about 30 min. everyone was gone and we were stuck there with a lovely dead 928. I was imagining getting towed back to LaCrosse or worse to Rochester (60 mi. away) to the Porsche dealer there. Then I remembered that I had my fuel pump jumper wire and my EFI computer jumper wire. I pulled the relays, stuck in the wires, ran the pump for a while, then gave it a try and vroom! It was like kicking a bad habit.

Months later (this spring actually) I finally figured out that it was the Green wire connection to the ignition module. The plug had cracked sometime earlier and the PO or his shop glued it back together but got glue in the plug so it wouldn't seat properly. The wire was making contact in warm weather. but in cooler weather it would just barely make contact and thus not start. I figure all the crankign and slight increase in temp from it caused it to make contact and start, but of course I did not shut it donw until we were home!

928's... live with 'em and love 'em. - Ruf

jpitman2

Fortunately happened at home, so embarrassment was minimal....
Go to start it one morning, ign lights, no starter..?? Hmmm, ok yesterday? Pop the hood, get DVM, 12.5V everywhere. Must be interlock, or ign switch or starter, or relay, or solenoid, or? Damn , where to start. Tools all out, everything open....have I missed something?
Duh, its in Drive.
jp 83 Euro S AT 48k

John Speake

I filled mine up with derv, got about 50 yards down the road, lots of black smoke, and it shuiddered to a stop..............called out the tow truck.

redidrum

Dressed up in a suit and leaving a fancy assed party. Had the Valet kid park the Shark in front for posing effect. Got to the car, after a few cold ones and a lot of bragging about her, jumped in and ended up with the automatic shifter handle button and spring fly out and got lost under the drivers seat. Pouring down rain by now. Too many mechanisms under seat. Butt sticking up in the air, no flashlight, and my female friend standing at the door Red Faced as a Tomato. The shifter was locked in drive. Managed to use fingers and a screw driver from the tool kit to get it into drive after an hour. Replaced all of the fasteners later with allen screws and locktite. No action that night!!! Secure your auto. handles now!