Funny scenes from friends. Joey's Porsche
01-30-2002, 07:46 PM
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Funny scenes from friends. Joey's Porsche
Funny scenes from friends. Joey's Porsche
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcriber’s note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, I’d have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Gunther: Yeah, that’s what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years!
Joey: Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?
Monica: Joey, why don’t you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: There’s a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Joey: Well, I didn’t realize until I got home. I wasn’t gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Y’know what? I’m gonna go find that guy’s car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, I’ll be sure to give him your shoe.
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
[Scene: The street down the block from Central Perk, Joey has found the Porsche and is writing the note.]
Guy #1: Nice car!
Joey: Yeah, it’s not mine.
Woman: (walking up) I love your car.
Joey: Yeah, it’s (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Woman: I bet it’s fast.
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Woman: Yeah!
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) It’s got ‘em!
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, I’m having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche I’ve got the keys too, still there!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when I’m with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Chandler: What equity investments?
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, they’re gonna start to think that I don’t own it. So I figured I’ll wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Chandler: You don’t even have a car!
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Chandler: And?
Monica: And six others.
Chandler: There you are.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
Joey: Yeah, she tops out at 130.
Guy #2: Wow!
Joey: And that’s just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
Joey: Sure!
Guy #2: Well, I’ll see you later.
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
The Porsche Owner: Hey! That’s my car.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
Joey: Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now I’m just polishing her up.
The Porsche Owner: But it’s my car!
Joey: Yeah, but it’s my wax.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I don’t come to this city much so I don’t know if you’re crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) I’ll uh, save your parking spot.
The Porsche Owner: I’m not coming back.
Joey: Why not?
The Porsche Owner: I live upstate.
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
(The guy gets in and drives off.)
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because you’re wearing the clothes?
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn’t have the car! Right?
Chandler: That is true.
Phoebe: Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.
Joey: Oh, I’ve been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Joey, you know you don’t actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! I’m in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
Joey: Why isn’t that valet back with my Porsche?
Passerby: Maybe because you’ve got the keys?
Joey: (to women passing him) Porsche.
(Ross and Rachel approach, they’re still yelling at each other.)
Rachel: This is totally your fault!
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter’s machine!!
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Rachel: Don’t call us that! (Storms away)
Ross: The judge wouldn’t let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
Joey: Hey! It’s Porsche!! (He’s right y’know.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey! How you doin’?
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Joey: I’d love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. She’s sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcriber’s note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, I’d have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Gunther: Yeah, that’s what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years!
Joey: Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?
Monica: Joey, why don’t you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: There’s a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Joey: Well, I didn’t realize until I got home. I wasn’t gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Y’know what? I’m gonna go find that guy’s car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, I’ll be sure to give him your shoe.
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
[Scene: The street down the block from Central Perk, Joey has found the Porsche and is writing the note.]
Guy #1: Nice car!
Joey: Yeah, it’s not mine.
Woman: (walking up) I love your car.
Joey: Yeah, it’s (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Woman: I bet it’s fast.
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Woman: Yeah!
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) It’s got ‘em!
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, I’m having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche I’ve got the keys too, still there!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when I’m with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Chandler: What equity investments?
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, they’re gonna start to think that I don’t own it. So I figured I’ll wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Chandler: You don’t even have a car!
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Chandler: And?
Monica: And six others.
Chandler: There you are.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
Joey: Yeah, she tops out at 130.
Guy #2: Wow!
Joey: And that’s just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
Joey: Sure!
Guy #2: Well, I’ll see you later.
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
The Porsche Owner: Hey! That’s my car.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
Joey: Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now I’m just polishing her up.
The Porsche Owner: But it’s my car!
Joey: Yeah, but it’s my wax.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I don’t come to this city much so I don’t know if you’re crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) I’ll uh, save your parking spot.
The Porsche Owner: I’m not coming back.
Joey: Why not?
The Porsche Owner: I live upstate.
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
(The guy gets in and drives off.)
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because you’re wearing the clothes?
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn’t have the car! Right?
Chandler: That is true.
Phoebe: Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.
Joey: Oh, I’ve been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Joey, you know you don’t actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! I’m in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
Joey: Why isn’t that valet back with my Porsche?
Passerby: Maybe because you’ve got the keys?
Joey: (to women passing him) Porsche.
(Ross and Rachel approach, they’re still yelling at each other.)
Rachel: This is totally your fault!
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter’s machine!!
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Rachel: Don’t call us that! (Storms away)
Ross: The judge wouldn’t let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
Joey: Hey! It’s Porsche!! (He’s right y’know.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey! How you doin’?
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Joey: I’d love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. She’s sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
01-30-2002, 11:05 PM
#6
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That's hilarious. Man, I've gotta start watching that show.
I'll third the notion to upload the episode, Ribs.
I'll third the notion to upload the episode, Ribs.
01-30-2002, 11:19 PM
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All right...its 70 megs, encoded in <a href="http://www.divx.com" target="_blank">divx</a> format, and should be done uploading in an hour and 20 minutes from right now. Just click on my homepage in my signiture and the link to the video will be on the first page as soon as the video is done uploading. Check my homepage at around 11:40 PM eastern standard time for the video.
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01-30-2002, 11:33 PM
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Oh yeah...if you want to save it (I suggest you save it then watch it) right click the link to it and click save as. Otherwise, it will disappear after you close media player. This was a message for the computer illiterate (just kidding). We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
01-31-2002, 02:40 AM
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If you forget to save it, all hope is not lost. Your computer has to download it in order to view it, so you can just do a search for a .avi files in your temporary internet files folder. One of them should be that episode.
