Funnies, not for the ladies.
05-20-2003, 12:00 AM
#46
Instructor
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Rochester NY & Alexandria VA
Posts: 237
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">Originally posted by Toolmaster:
<strong>Hey all -
Take it from someone who knows.
She is always right.
She should always be pampered.
She should be treated like the queen she is.
Your wants and needs should come after hers, as long as it's not life nor limb.
(And I have 2 Porsches now, looking for another one. See - it works.)
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">The words of a true visionary, many of the youth should listen. The term is "Joint Income" and "positive cash flow" neither which are attained with an ironing board. Personally I would rather see my wife pay to have her MBZ cleaned then have her at home cleaning the toilets, I can hire that out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
<strong>Hey all -
Take it from someone who knows.
She is always right.
She should always be pampered.
She should be treated like the queen she is.
Your wants and needs should come after hers, as long as it's not life nor limb.
(And I have 2 Porsches now, looking for another one. See - it works.)
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">The words of a true visionary, many of the youth should listen. The term is "Joint Income" and "positive cash flow" neither which are attained with an ironing board. Personally I would rather see my wife pay to have her MBZ cleaned then have her at home cleaning the toilets, I can hire that out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
05-20-2003, 04:07 AM
#47
Nordschleife Master
You asked for it:
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE...He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says...."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE...He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says...."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
05-20-2003, 04:33 AM
#48
Nordschleife Master
Part Two:
Adam was moping around in the Garden of Eden, feeling very lonesome, so God asked, "What's wrong, Adam?" Adam answered that he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God decided he was going to give him a companion, and that it would be a woman. He said, "I'll give you a wonderful companion she will always operate with logic, will always know what she wants, and never ever be manipulative. She will only cost you an arm and a leg. What do you think, Adam?"
Adam said, "Geez, an arm and leg, what can I get for just a rib?" The rest is history.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What do most men think of when you talk about Roe v. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
I pose this riddlle to you guys:
A man is king of his Castle
A king is a ruler
A ruler has 12 inches
Still think you are a man?
Why cats are better than men:
You have a better chance of training a cat.
You never have to spend time with your cat's mother.
If you ask enough times, a cat may actually LISTEN to you.
You can de-claw a cat... try to get a guy to clip his toenails.
It's okay if a cat rubs up against your best friend.
A cat knows you're the key to his happiness... a man thinks HE is.
A cat always hits the litter box.
Some simple truths from the periodic table:
Element: MAN
Symbol: Xy
Atomic Weight: 180 +/-100 Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young, fresh samples.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo (element Women) any chance it can get. Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for a prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None really, except methane production. "Good" samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of Wo (element Women), this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything. <BR>
B.One - men will screw up anything. <BR>
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it <BR>
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
Women think that men don't care about what they eat. This is simply not true. Men keep a detailed record of everything they eat. It's called a tie.
Why are women so bad at parallel parking? Men keep telling them
that this: |<---------------------------------->| is 8 inches.
Why did the dumb man snort Nutri-sweet?
He thought it was diet coke!
Why do men have pour grammar when talking to women?
Because they end each sentence with a preposition.
Viagra: strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Things Men Shouldn't Say in a Victoria's Secret Store
1. No Thanks. ... Just Sniffing.
2. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
3. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
4. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
5. Will you model this for me???
6. Oh, honey, I'll never fit into that.
7. $50?? Are you kidding? She's just gonna end up NAKED anyway!
And one I just couldn?t resist:
One night Jerry brought home a dozen red roses to his wife. "How lovely, Dear," she said. "What's the occasion?"
"I want to make love to you," he said simply.
"Not tonight, Dear. I have a headache," answered his wife.
The next night Jerry came home with a big box of chocolates and explained that he wanted to make love with her. "I'm awfully tired, Honey," said his wife. "Not tonight."
Every night for a week Jerry brought home something, but each time his wife's answer was no. Finally he came home with six black kittens with little red bows around their necks and handed them to his wife.
"How adorable, Jerry!" she exclaimed. "But what are they for?"
The husband replied, "These are six little pallbearers for your dead *****."
<img border="0" alt="[burnout]" title="" src="graemlins/burnout.gif" />
- Julie
Adam was moping around in the Garden of Eden, feeling very lonesome, so God asked, "What's wrong, Adam?" Adam answered that he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God decided he was going to give him a companion, and that it would be a woman. He said, "I'll give you a wonderful companion she will always operate with logic, will always know what she wants, and never ever be manipulative. She will only cost you an arm and a leg. What do you think, Adam?"
Adam said, "Geez, an arm and leg, what can I get for just a rib?" The rest is history.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What do most men think of when you talk about Roe v. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
I pose this riddlle to you guys:
A man is king of his Castle
A king is a ruler
A ruler has 12 inches
Still think you are a man?
Why cats are better than men:
You have a better chance of training a cat.
You never have to spend time with your cat's mother.
If you ask enough times, a cat may actually LISTEN to you.
You can de-claw a cat... try to get a guy to clip his toenails.
It's okay if a cat rubs up against your best friend.
A cat knows you're the key to his happiness... a man thinks HE is.
A cat always hits the litter box.
Some simple truths from the periodic table:
Element: MAN
Symbol: Xy
Atomic Weight: 180 +/-100 Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young, fresh samples.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo (element Women) any chance it can get. Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for a prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None really, except methane production. "Good" samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of Wo (element Women), this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything. <BR>
B.One - men will screw up anything. <BR>
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it <BR>
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
Women think that men don't care about what they eat. This is simply not true. Men keep a detailed record of everything they eat. It's called a tie.
Why are women so bad at parallel parking? Men keep telling them
that this: |<---------------------------------->| is 8 inches.
Why did the dumb man snort Nutri-sweet?
He thought it was diet coke!
Why do men have pour grammar when talking to women?
Because they end each sentence with a preposition.
Viagra: strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Things Men Shouldn't Say in a Victoria's Secret Store
1. No Thanks. ... Just Sniffing.
2. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
3. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
4. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
5. Will you model this for me???
6. Oh, honey, I'll never fit into that.
7. $50?? Are you kidding? She's just gonna end up NAKED anyway!
And one I just couldn?t resist:
One night Jerry brought home a dozen red roses to his wife. "How lovely, Dear," she said. "What's the occasion?"
"I want to make love to you," he said simply.
"Not tonight, Dear. I have a headache," answered his wife.
The next night Jerry came home with a big box of chocolates and explained that he wanted to make love with her. "I'm awfully tired, Honey," said his wife. "Not tonight."
Every night for a week Jerry brought home something, but each time his wife's answer was no. Finally he came home with six black kittens with little red bows around their necks and handed them to his wife.
"How adorable, Jerry!" she exclaimed. "But what are they for?"
The husband replied, "These are six little pallbearers for your dead *****."
<img border="0" alt="[burnout]" title="" src="graemlins/burnout.gif" />
- Julie
05-20-2003, 04:40 AM
#49
The Hoffinator
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
ok...
a man is in a coma lying his hospital bed, withe his loving wife by his side. all of the sudden he wakes up from his coma, and motions for his wife to come closer
"yes honey?" asks the wife with tears in her eyes.
"dear, you have always been there, through all the bad times. when i lost my job at the factory, you were there. when my business failed, you were there. when my brother died, as always you were there. you were even with me when i had my accident and through out my coma. and you know what dear?"
'yes honey?' the wife asked with enthuisiasm as tears of joy still rolled down her cheaks.
'bitch, youre bad luck, get the fu*k away from me!'
a man is in a coma lying his hospital bed, withe his loving wife by his side. all of the sudden he wakes up from his coma, and motions for his wife to come closer
"yes honey?" asks the wife with tears in her eyes.
"dear, you have always been there, through all the bad times. when i lost my job at the factory, you were there. when my business failed, you were there. when my brother died, as always you were there. you were even with me when i had my accident and through out my coma. and you know what dear?"
'yes honey?' the wife asked with enthuisiasm as tears of joy still rolled down her cheaks.
'bitch, youre bad luck, get the fu*k away from me!'
05-20-2003, 05:02 AM
#50
Instructor
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: California
Posts: 135
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
<img border="0" alt="[typing]" title="" src="graemlins/yltype.gif" />
"COMPUTER BREASTS"
Perfect breasts (o)(o)
Silicone breasts ( + )( + )
Perky breasts (*)(*)
Big nipple breasts (@)(@)
A cups o o
D cups { O }{ O }
Wonder bra breasts (oYo)
Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ )
Lopsided breasts (o)(O)
Pierced Breasts (Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p)
Grandma's Breasts \ o /\ o /
Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( )
Android Breasts | o | | o |
Mamogram Breasts (_)(_)
Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($)
"COMPUTER BREASTS"
Perfect breasts (o)(o)
Silicone breasts ( + )( + )
Perky breasts (*)(*)
Big nipple breasts (@)(@)
A cups o o
D cups { O }{ O }
Wonder bra breasts (oYo)
Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ )
Lopsided breasts (o)(O)
Pierced Breasts (Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p)
Grandma's Breasts \ o /\ o /
Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( )
Android Breasts | o | | o |
Mamogram Breasts (_)(_)
Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($)
05-20-2003, 05:26 AM
#51
Nordschleife Master
HAHAHA I'm bookmarking this thread!! 
On the same topic, a co-worker *highly* recommended watching 100 Girls. (no it's not a porno!)
So I downloaded it from Kazaa-lite. Only took 2 hours. When I got home from work it was ready to watch. I LAUGHED SO HARD, I WOKE UP MY NEIGHBOURS!
For those that haven't seen it, it's about a guy who gets stuck in an college dorm elevator, with another girl, when the power goes out, they talk and have sex, and he falls in love. Thing is, he never saw her face, and when the power comes back she's gone. So he spends the rest of the movie trying to find her. It's a great great movie!
Go see it! 100 Girls
On the same topic, a co-worker *highly* recommended watching 100 Girls. (no it's not a porno!)
So I downloaded it from Kazaa-lite. Only took 2 hours. When I got home from work it was ready to watch. I LAUGHED SO HARD, I WOKE UP MY NEIGHBOURS!
For those that haven't seen it, it's about a guy who gets stuck in an college dorm elevator, with another girl, when the power goes out, they talk and have sex, and he falls in love. Thing is, he never saw her face, and when the power comes back she's gone. So he spends the rest of the movie trying to find her. It's a great great movie!
Go see it! 100 Girls
05-20-2003, 08:04 AM
#52
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">Originally posted by Devia:
<strong>Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">Hehe, don't forget that the gender of a future baby is determined by the man (XY), not by the woman (XX) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
<strong>Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">Hehe, don't forget that the gender of a future baby is determined by the man (XY), not by the woman (XX) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
05-20-2003, 08:58 AM
#53
Addict
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: South of the St-Lawrence river
Posts: 1,498
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like
on
1 Post
This was sent to me by my mother-in-law (for no particular reason):
<img border="0" alt="[cheers]" title="" src="graemlins/beerchug.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[cherrsagai]" title="" src="graemlins/drink.gif" />
Remedial training for men
Course name: Become as intelligent as a woman (i.e. be perfect)
Course objective: This course will allow men to awaken an unknown area of their brain
Required courses (Hours of educational credits)
· Learn to live without mom (2000 hours)
· I give my paycheck to my wife (650 hours)
· My wife is not my mother (350 hours)
Practical (very) courses (Hours of educational credits)
· Have children without becoming jealous (50 hours)
· Dinner’s ready … a smiling wife (200 hours)
· I will stop saying stupid things in front of my wife’s friends (500 hours)
· How to slouch without appearing lazy (300 hours)
· Conquer the ‘Remote Control Syndrome’ (550 hours)
· I will not pee beside the toilet bowl (100 hours)
· I will be able to satisfy my wife before she fakes it (1550 hours)
· How to reach the clothes hamper without getting (50 hours)
· How to survive a cold without agonizing (200 hours)
Recreation and relaxation courses
· Ironing in 2 steps
· How to activate digestion while doing the dishes
· House cleaning … a value-packed family activity
· I will commit the garbage days to memory
Cooking courses
Level 1 (Beginner) : Household appliances
‘’ON’’ = Starts the appliance
‘’OFF’’ = Stops the applliance
Level 2 (Advanced) : My first ‘’Quick soup’’ without boiling off the water
<img border="0" alt="[bigbye]" title="" src="graemlins/xyxwave.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[hiha]" title="" src="graemlins/roflmao.gif" />
<img border="0" alt="[cheers]" title="" src="graemlins/beerchug.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[cherrsagai]" title="" src="graemlins/drink.gif" />
Remedial training for men
Course name: Become as intelligent as a woman (i.e. be perfect)
Course objective: This course will allow men to awaken an unknown area of their brain
Required courses (Hours of educational credits)
· Learn to live without mom (2000 hours)
· I give my paycheck to my wife (650 hours)
· My wife is not my mother (350 hours)
Practical (very) courses (Hours of educational credits)
· Have children without becoming jealous (50 hours)
· Dinner’s ready … a smiling wife (200 hours)
· I will stop saying stupid things in front of my wife’s friends (500 hours)
· How to slouch without appearing lazy (300 hours)
· Conquer the ‘Remote Control Syndrome’ (550 hours)
· I will not pee beside the toilet bowl (100 hours)
· I will be able to satisfy my wife before she fakes it (1550 hours)
· How to reach the clothes hamper without getting (50 hours)
· How to survive a cold without agonizing (200 hours)
Recreation and relaxation courses
· Ironing in 2 steps
· How to activate digestion while doing the dishes
· House cleaning … a value-packed family activity
· I will commit the garbage days to memory
Cooking courses
Level 1 (Beginner) : Household appliances
‘’ON’’ = Starts the appliance
‘’OFF’’ = Stops the applliance
Level 2 (Advanced) : My first ‘’Quick soup’’ without boiling off the water
<img border="0" alt="[bigbye]" title="" src="graemlins/xyxwave.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[hiha]" title="" src="graemlins/roflmao.gif" />
05-21-2003, 11:47 AM
#54
Addict
Rennlist
Lifetime Member
Rennlist
Lifetime Member
I think all the ladies will like this...
Julie, a while back I was stupid enough to send my Mechanical Engineer sister that girls are evil "proof." Bad move. She doesn't work at NASA for nothing...
<img src="http://matt.type944.com/girlstimeandmoney.gif" alt=" - " />
Julie, a while back I was stupid enough to send my Mechanical Engineer sister that girls are evil "proof." Bad move. She doesn't work at NASA for nothing...
<img src="http://matt.type944.com/girlstimeandmoney.gif" alt=" - " />
05-21-2003, 03:51 PM
#55
Race Car
Matt, I believe your sister will find this interpretation entertaining.
I read the formula a little differently. When you integrate MTdt, t=0 to infinity and get G=1/2M(infinity)squared, it means you have 1/2 the money you started when she runs off with another man and her ex is stuck with her from 0 to infinity (pay alimony for the rest of his life). Your sister used a false premise that G = good girls. I tend to see G = girls(bad) and therefore coming to the conclusion:
A [bad] girl will take alimony from you forever after taking 1/2 of your money
As to the second part of the equation Power = Work/Time and the substitution of that equation in the original equation G = 1/2 MT squared, the resulting girl x power squared = work squared x 1/2 Money means:
girl [bad] apply exponential power will work extremely hard to get the rest (other half) of the man's money in the form of alimony t=0 to infinity (haunt you for the rest of your life)
I apologize ahead of time.... I am just a little bitter over my ex.
I read the formula a little differently. When you integrate MTdt, t=0 to infinity and get G=1/2M(infinity)squared, it means you have 1/2 the money you started when she runs off with another man and her ex is stuck with her from 0 to infinity (pay alimony for the rest of his life). Your sister used a false premise that G = good girls. I tend to see G = girls(bad) and therefore coming to the conclusion:
A [bad] girl will take alimony from you forever after taking 1/2 of your money
As to the second part of the equation Power = Work/Time and the substitution of that equation in the original equation G = 1/2 MT squared, the resulting girl x power squared = work squared x 1/2 Money means:
girl [bad] apply exponential power will work extremely hard to get the rest (other half) of the man's money in the form of alimony t=0 to infinity (haunt you for the rest of your life)
I apologize ahead of time.... I am just a little bitter over my ex.
05-21-2003, 04:11 PM
#56
Race Car
An addition to the proof.
Since
Power = Work/Time
Power = I times V (current times voltage)
Therefore
Work/time = voltage x current
and
time = Current x Voltage/Work
Substituting into G = 1/2 MTsquared you get
G = 1/2 Money (voltage x current/Work)squared
Girl x Work squared =
1/2 Money(Voltage x Current)squared
This equation proves:
Girls [bad] works exponantially hard to get the other half of the money while causing tremendous shock to the man(voltage) and burning everything in her path(current) with a vengence(squared).
Since
Power = Work/Time
Power = I times V (current times voltage)
Therefore
Work/time = voltage x current
and
time = Current x Voltage/Work
Substituting into G = 1/2 MTsquared you get
G = 1/2 Money (voltage x current/Work)squared
Girl x Work squared =
1/2 Money(Voltage x Current)squared
This equation proves:
Girls [bad] works exponantially hard to get the other half of the money while causing tremendous shock to the man(voltage) and burning everything in her path(current) with a vengence(squared).
05-21-2003, 04:17 PM
#57
Addict
Rennlist Member
Rennlist Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: South of the St-Lawrence river
Posts: 1,498
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like
on
1 Post
Supplied to me by my secretary's husband (for no particular reason...he-he-he)
Spec Sheet
Hazardous Material
Element: Woman
Symbol: &
Discovered by: Adam
Atomic mass: Average of 120 lbs, but can vary from less than 100 to more than 450
Physical properties
1. Surface is usually covered with a thin powder or painted film
2. Reaches boiling point spontaneously and will freeze over without any apparent reason
3. Variations in grade range from a pure, virgin gem to common mineral ore
Chemical properties
1. Reacts particularly well to gold, platinum and precious gems
2. Can explode spontaneously without warning
3. This element is the strongest wealth-reducing agent known to man
Recognized uses
1. Makes a very nice ornament especially in a Porsche
2. Facilitates relaxation
3. Also known as a very thorough cleaning agent
Danger
1. Will turn green if placed close to a superior-grade specimen
2. It is possible to possess more than one specimen, but said specimens must never be allowed to come in contact.
Spec Sheet
Hazardous Material
Element: Woman
Symbol: &
Discovered by: Adam
Atomic mass: Average of 120 lbs, but can vary from less than 100 to more than 450
Physical properties
1. Surface is usually covered with a thin powder or painted film
2. Reaches boiling point spontaneously and will freeze over without any apparent reason
3. Variations in grade range from a pure, virgin gem to common mineral ore
Chemical properties
1. Reacts particularly well to gold, platinum and precious gems
2. Can explode spontaneously without warning
3. This element is the strongest wealth-reducing agent known to man
Recognized uses
1. Makes a very nice ornament especially in a Porsche
2. Facilitates relaxation
3. Also known as a very thorough cleaning agent
Danger
1. Will turn green if placed close to a superior-grade specimen
2. It is possible to possess more than one specimen, but said specimens must never be allowed to come in contact.
05-22-2003, 03:06 AM
#58
Three Wheelin'
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Diego, Ca
Posts: 1,250
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica">Originally posted by Devia:
<strong>You asked for it</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica"><img src="http://www.startribune.com/stonline/images/news34/FTjiment27.l.jpg" alt=" - " />
SHAUN
<strong>You asked for it</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana,Tahoma,Helvetica"><img src="http://www.startribune.com/stonline/images/news34/FTjiment27.l.jpg" alt=" - " />
SHAUN
05-22-2003, 03:11 AM
#59
Nordschleife Master
Shaun, if you're trying to excite me with those girls, I'll take all but the brunette in Adam's hands, EWWW, he touched her!
<img border="0" alt="[burnout]" title="" src="graemlins/burnout.gif" />
<img border="0" alt="[burnout]" title="" src="graemlins/burnout.gif" />
05-22-2003, 03:47 AM
#60
Big thirst, Sore Thumbs
Rennlist Member
Napoleon
Rennlist Member
Napoleon
"How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose."
That's cheating, that's a lawyer joke.
And er ah that joke about adam and the rib is not exactly flattering to women.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose."
That's cheating, that's a lawyer joke.
And er ah that joke about adam and the rib is not exactly flattering to women.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />